English version of the sentence about the seven-year itch

Three years of pain, seven years of itching.

Three years of pain, seven years of itching.

Enough crying, you can't tell whether you are sad or not, just don't be safe and sometimes be persistent.

Sometimes you can look at it indifferently, sometimes you are too persistent.

For a long time, people have been warning those in serious relationships about the danger of the seven-year itch. But the study found that couples are at much earlier risk of getting into trouble-thanks to seven months of laziness.

Married men and women should be wary of the seven-year itch for a long time. However, a survey found that the problem between husband and wife occurred seven years ago, which is the July itch.

Talk about the seven-year itch

Love and reason are two different things.

2. Love always goes through a process full of holes, and then it becomes indifferent.

Don't always say I love you. Not everyone likes to hear that I love you.

The sign of maturity is not that you can tell the truth, but that you begin to understand the little things around you.

When love has become a habit in life, it seems impossible to change this habit without harming all other aspects of life at the same time.

6. Good love makes you see the whole world through one person, while bad love makes you abandon the world for one person.

7. People who spend time with you love you.

8. Nothing is impossible for true love.

9. No happiness is not dangerous, no security is not boring. Coffee is bad for the stomach, smoking is bad for the lungs, and love is bad for the heart. But we can't give it up.

10. Actually, I thought I wouldn't part with you. I'm afraid you can't stand my strange temper.

1 1. People's eyes have 576 million pixels, but they can't understand people's hearts after all.

12. If you feel bored, leave. Don't put up with it any longer.

13. Like a moth pouncing on a wildfire, this love is doomed to destroy her.

14. lovelorn is not the most painful, the most painful thing is that after sweet love, sad forgetting is the most tormenting.

15. The cruelest thing in the world is not that you haven't met the person you love, but that the person you love doesn't love you.

16. The so-called love is the best. You are in my hands, I have it, I am in your hands, I have everything, you live in my heart, I am most comfortable, I live in your heart, I am at ease.

17. The oath I said to you was terminated by us. Still thrown into the storm of time.

18. I'm tired but I don't know where I'm tired. I really want to talk, but I can't speak.

19. The biggest rain I've ever been caught was that you didn't look back in the hot sun.

20. I learned to swallow a long paragraph and all my emotions, and express all my thoughts with a "hmm".

2 1. I also began to believe that no one in this world can give anyone tomorrow.

I don't want to lose any emotional control because of anyone.

I thought I had to be good enough to meet you, but I was the best when I met you.

24. I thought I could impress a person as long as I really liked it.

25. hypocrite, don't say sorry to me. I can't afford it. Getting out is the best apology.

26. Hugging is the closest way, because heart and heart are together.

27. Sometimes love is intoxicating. But sometimes it can be heartbreaking.

28. It turned out that I was always the one who held love too tightly, and I was right. Otherwise, how could it be that I hurt?

29. I care more about people who care about me. People who don't care about me, why should you let me continue to care?

As long as I forget you, I don't have to care about my feelings and love with peace of mind.

3 1. Only love can make marriage sacred, and only a marriage that is sacred by love is a real marriage.

32. How do you warm others from cool thin?

What does the seven-year itch mean? _ The origin of the seven-year itch

What does the seven-year itch mean? Why does it itch for seven years? What is the origin of the seven-year itch?

Zhu Deyong: The so-called seven-year itch means one year of novelty, two years of familiarity, three years of boredom, four years of thinking, five years of planning, six years of stupidity and seven years of action.

Psychological interpretation: the seven-year itch

Text/Wu Zhihong

Suppose he fell in love with her at first sight, and she fell in love with him at first sight, and perfect love happened.

So, how long will the spoony sweetness of these two lucky people last?

Maybe seven years is a limit. Those very emotional love and marriage are bound to suffer from the itch for seven years.

I have been listening to the story of the seven-year itch recently. Married for 7 years, divorced this year; I have been in love for 7 years and broke up this year. I also remembered my former friends, who fell into a serious crisis in the seventh year of marriage.

It seems that the word seven-year itch still makes sense. Just, why is the seventh year, and what's the special significance?

One day, when I was thinking about this problem unintentionally, a sentence suddenly popped up in my mind: the first childhood was 6 years; The second childhood, or six years.

As soon as this sentence jumped out, I knew it was my brain's temporary answer to the seven-year itch.

The seven-year itch means maturity

The first childhood is 0 ~ 6 years old. According to psychological theory, the personality structure and intellectual institutions of 6-year-old children are basically stereotyped.

The second childhood is love and marriage. The seven-year itch is so common that the second childhood may be six years.

The first childhood is fate, we have no choice, what kind of family we are born in and what kind of parents and relatives we have, we can only passively accept it.

In the second childhood, we had considerable initiative. We chose lovers, we chose marriage, and we chose to break up.

In our first childhood, we wanted to be independent and transform our parents according to our own wishes. The more painful the childhood, the stronger the will to reform, but unfortunately, these wishes for reform are rarely realized.

In the second childhood, we reappeared the beauty achieved in the first childhood, so people in love often feel like two happy children. At the same time, it will also reproduce childhood and childhood unfulfilled dreams and wishes. The more problematic your childhood is, the more eager you are to transform your lover. If the transformation is successful, it seems that the previous fate has also been changed.

The first childhood, when we are mature, that is, when our personality is basically stereotyped, is 6 years old. Parents have a lot of experience, and there is a big difference between 6-year-old children and 5-year-old children. Perhaps one of the important differences is that 6-year-old children have given up their desire to reform their parents to a considerable extent, and they have learned to accept the fact that their parents are like this. However, the dream of transformation has not disappeared, but has been deeply suppressed to the depths of the subconscious.

In the second childhood, this psychological process will probably reappear in the sixth year. In the first six years, our subconscious desire to reform our parents and correct our childhood mistakes was awakened again. We project this desire on our lovers, and we are as eager to transform them as before we were six years old, but in the sixth year, we found that this is not feasible again, and we had to give up this dream of transformation again.

At this time, there will be great disappointment, and our will will be ridiculed by fate. At this time, you are often surprised to find that this closest person is not what you think at all, and he (she) seems to be a completely different person.

He (she) is really not what you think. You are actually imposing your imagination on him (her). When you see him (her), what you see is not the real existence of the other person, but the fantasy you impose on him (her). He (she) is really another person, and this is exactly his (her) real existence.

Therefore, this is also a huge opportunity. If two people see each other's real existence and are willing to accept each other's real existence, then a new real relationship is established. This relationship doesn't look as touching as it did six years ago, but it is more stable, reliable, flexible and relaxed.

If this relationship develops, it will be deeper and more charming.

We often say that falling in love is easier than getting along. When we are in love, we don't really deal with each other's real existence. It is naturally easier for us to project our fantasies on each other and then deal with them. When we get along, we should see each other's real existence, so that we can properly put ourselves down and deal with the person who has the same independent will as ourselves. This is really difficult.

Obsessed with illusion, deliberately unable to see the truth.

The seven-year itch refers to serious problems in the seventh year of marriage and love, such as the third party, breakup or divorce. However, from a sense, maybe the sixth year is more important. Some love stories I know were disillusioned in the sixth year.

A netizen named Moon's message on my blog typically reflects this.

In the message, she wrote: Let's see, I happened to be married for the seventh year this year, and I found myself disillusioned last year. Don't think about relying on anyone but yourself.

Disillusioned. So, what is her illusion?

What a friend of mine said can be the answer to this question. She broke up with her boyfriend not long ago, and they fell in love for seven years. Like the moon, she was disillusioned last year and had a premonition that their love would come to an end.

One of her important disillusionments is that she finally found out that her boyfriend is a playboy.

This is a very interesting thing. In fact, in the first year of dating, she left Guangzhou for a period of time. Unexpectedly, less than a month after she left Guangzhou, she heard that her boyfriend and another girl had come together.

Obviously, in fact, her boyfriend was a playboy from the beginning. But in a sense, she didn't discover this fact until the sixth year of love, and she respected this fact and accepted the fact that her boyfriend was a playboy.

Any spontaneous psychology or behavior is meaningful. So, what is the serious disconnect between her feelings and the facts?

The answer is simple. She projected the image of her own father on the boy.

She fell in love with the boy at first sight. Later, she found that this boyfriend looks like her father in many ways. But he is not a father after all, and there are some key differences, one of which is that her father is very loyal to his mother.

She loves this boy. This kind of love is bound to project the image of her ideal man onto his head, and the prototype of her ideal man is bound to come from her father, and one of the key contents is loyalty to love.

Therefore, when she sees that boy, what she often sees is not him, but the illusion she projects on him, and an important part of this illusion is loyalty.

So, although this boy was disloyal from the beginning, and some information later showed that he was a playboy, she still filtered out all the information that did not conform to her ideal prototype of a man and did not let them enter her consciousness. However, she actually cares about this information, and she tries to transform her boyfriend in some ways. The principle of these ways is to be kind to him, just as her mother is kind to her father.

However, these efforts almost always fail. A playboy rarely gives up his efforts because his girlfriend is kind to him. Her boyfriend is no exception, he has his own logic. I only treat you as my wife, and other women are just having fun. He used this set of self-deception logic to solve his inner contradictions, so he can love his girlfriend very much and be a playboy at the same time.

Such things happened again and again, and finally, she had to face the facts. However, the time to face the facts is in the sixth year.

My friend, she didn't simply repeat her childhood sufferings. After all, her father is not a playboy. On the contrary, he is loyal and she is the most favored at home. Mom and dad love her more than each other. She also had some dreams of transformation, but none of them had anything to do with loyalty. It took her six years to accept her boyfriend's Playboy, which may reflect a universal law. Just like the first childhood, she began to mature in the second childhood of love. Only in the sixth year can she give up self-deception, fantasy, face up to and accept some truths.

Only after disillusionment will there be more true love.

Not all marriages experience the seven-year itch. Many marriages itch badly before the sixth or seventh year, or even end in a few days or months.

However, even these short marriages are often found to be another repetition of childhood.

A man has been in love for three years. Although there were some bumps in the first two years, we got along well on the whole. However, in the third year, some serious problems broke out. His girlfriend once accused him of being selfish. After further discussion, he found that his girlfriend really believed that he was selfish rather than simply accusing him, which made him extremely sad, because he always thought he was tolerant and generous, and all his friends around him praised him so much.

After that, his girlfriend misunderstood him again and again and did something inexplicable, just like a different person. Finally, the two broke up.

Later, he learned that when the girl was 3 years old, her father ran away from home and formed a family with another woman, which caused great harm to her.

It can be understood that girls are repeating their childhood experiences. She was abandoned by her father when she was three years old. When she was in love for three years, she did many inexplicable things under the impetus of subconscious power to repeat this abandoned experience again. She said that her boyfriend was selfish, but in fact she just projected the selfish image of her father on her boyfriend.

Of course, she doesn't want to be abandoned. If her boyfriend still treats her as always, or even better, and their relationship can survive this third year safely, then the pain of her childhood being abandoned by her father will be largely repaired. It's a pity that she is not so lucky.

Most of us don't have this kind of good luck, because when we do something inexplicable under the command of the subconscious mind, our other half won't understand what we are doing, and they will eventually fall into the trap of the subconscious mind like us, agree with our projection, and then repeat the sufferings of childhood with us.

Of course, the special three-year itch or the universal seven-year itch has its special significance: let us let go of our illusions and see the true existence of lovers.

When you see the real existence, you have to make a choice: whether to continue to fantasize or deal with the real existence of lovers.

If you continue to fantasize, this intimate relationship will only collapse, and then you will change people and continue to fantasize.

A divorced friend of mine recalled her seven-year itch and said that she and her ex-husband had had problems for a long time, but they kept putting up with it. She always said that she would give him a chance to turn over a new leaf, and so did he. But in the sixth year, she and he didn't want to put up with it any longer, so they separated. After a month's separation, he seems to have given up his fantasy, no longer eager to change her, and began to change himself and get along with her in a new way.

However, she thinks she has no responsibility. She refused to change herself, and still longed to change him. In other words, she still sticks to her fantasy, and she is unwilling and unable to face the real him.

In the seventh year, they divorced. Now, she has some regrets. She said that if she had understood all this, stopped thinking about changing him and started changing herself, then they might not have to divorce.

However, seeing the lover's real existence does not mean that this relationship must be saved. Sometimes ending is the best choice. For example, the girl I mentioned earlier, she finally gave up the loyalty fantasy projected on her boyfriend and accepted the fact that her boyfriend is a playboy. This fact is absolutely unacceptable to her, so breaking up is her best choice.

Therefore, when you fall into the seven-year itch, you don't have to be afraid or depressed. It's about realizing its value and accepting your disillusionment. This disillusionment must be good. Only when disillusioned can the next relationship be true love. Two phantoms, no matter how stubborn, are just phantoms.

The origin of the seven-year itch

The seven-year itch is an imported word, which comes from the movie of the same name starring the famous American movie star Marilyn Monroe. This film is a light comedy. It tells the story of a man who has been married for seven years. After his wife went to the country for a holiday, he was annoyed by a slut tenant who just moved in. He daydreamed all day, but at last he suddenly realized that he had pulled back from the brink and returned to his wife.

According to the meaning of this word, the seven-year itch can easily be understood as a problem that appears in the seventh year of marriage and love, and is usually called aesthetic fatigue.

However, in my opinion, the seven-year itch does not mean that there will be problems until the seventh year. Often problems have long appeared, but both of them are forbearing, leaving opportunities for each other and themselves. However, in the seventh year, I don't want to put up with it anymore.

So the seven-year itch is not just a slight itch, it may be a big problem. In fact, many marriages or relationships end in the seventh year.

Disillusionment often occurs in the sixth year.

Love is the longing for the reappearance of childhood.

This leads to such a result: childhood is beautiful, and love repeats beauty; Childhood is unfortunate, love is unfortunate.

Of course, few people will definitely look forward to unfortunate love. We always look forward to the happiness and happiness of love at first, but later we find that the so-called love is so similar to childhood, and the opposite sex we have high hopes for is so similar to the parents of the opposite sex who let us down.

On my blog, the reply of a netizen named fool also reflects this mental journey. She wrote:

I am about to enter the seventh year of marriage, and this year is the sixth year. Suddenly I found that my husband seemed to be repeating my father's footsteps. When I got married, I made up my mind to choose someone who loves me more than me, a responsible husband, and someone completely different from my father. My father suffered a major setback in his career and abandoned his family.

Now, my husband has also encountered a bottleneck in his career. My husband, like his father, wants to do some business by himself. He also lacks funds. He also wants to borrow money from my relatives. Once rejected, he will fly into a rage.

I feel a little scared because my father borrowed money with the help of his mother, but his business failed and his family fell apart. When I was a child, I saw my father leave home, and my mother was miserable to cope with relatives and various creditors.

Now, am I repeating my mother's footsteps or is my husband repeating my father's experience? I'm confused about this.

This is the split between consciousness and subconscious. Consciously, she wanted to find a man who was completely different from her father, but subconsciously, she found a man who looked exactly like her father and even made her and her husband repeat almost the same history as her mother and her father.

Is she repeating her mother's footsteps or is her husband repeating her father's experience? This is a double problem. From her husband's point of view, he must be repeating some history of his childhood. From her point of view, she is obviously repeating some history of her childhood.

How did these terrible fate repeats itself?

This is the power of the subconscious. After reading Love at First Sight or Fatal Seduction, some readers told me that I missed a situation because I was dissatisfied with my parents and fell in love with the opposite sex at first sight.

Such love at first sight is often just a superficial phenomenon. Consciously, we seem to be attracted by these places where the opposite sex is completely different from our parents. Subconsciously, we are still deeply moved by the similarities between these opposite sex and parents.

This is because the first time we fall in love with the opposite sex, we must fall in love with the opposite sex parents. This first feeling of life is so deeply imprinted, so when it is strongly repeated on a opposite sex again, it is almost inevitable because the opposite sex is very similar to his opposite sex parents.

In my previous article Infatuation: Love from Illusion, I gave an example: H fell in love with a lively and cheerful girl at first sight. He always thought that he fell in love with her at first sight because he always longed for an outgoing and happy girl, but it took him many years to suddenly understand that he fell in love with her at first sight because she was depressed and his mother had been depressed. H was very dissatisfied with her mother's depression, so she drew an ideal female image of outgoing happiness in her mind from an early age. But when love at first sight happened, it was not the girl's liveliness and cheerfulness that touched him, but the sadness that he was used to and had seriously resisted.

This is a very simple fact, but interestingly, it was not until the sixth year that H suddenly understood this. He really likes her lively and cheerful, but what really makes him fall in love at first sight is the deep sadness hidden behind her happiness.

Like the previous example, it was not until the sixth year that H gave up his fantasy and looked directly at the truth.

The seven-year itch of marriage

1. Love can last forever only when it dies in the most prosperous time, and the trivial life of daily necessities is the biggest killer of love.

2. Seven-year itch, can I be your bride?

3. At the end of time, there is finally a farce; It takes seven years to itch, but it doesn't matter if it takes two years.

4. The itch of seven years of marriage, either endure or be cruel!

5. Two seven-year itch, how many people have changed, how many beauties are old. For them, time is just an increasing number. In her opinion, he is maturing; And in his eyes, she is still radiant. Everything seems just right.

6. Those who pay attention to men in all aspects will often find a man who is completely unsuitable for life in the end. Those who talk casually and follow the fate are all leftover women in the end.

7. People say this is the seven-year itch. But you, why do you itch in a year?

8. The so-called seven-year itch means one year of novelty, two years of familiarity, three years of boredom, four years of thinking, five years of planning, six years of stupidity and seven years of action.

9. Thinking that there are still six years before the seven-year itch, I feel that life is really full of long despair.