Humorous sentences

Humorous sentences, in daily life, everyone should have been exposed to some classic sentences, some of which can give people a lot of inspiration, and those sentences are short and impressive. Let's look at humorous sentences.

I knew you wouldn't come with me if I held out my hand, so I held out my leg and tripped you. You really stood up and chased me. So I have to admit: since ancient times, we can't be merciful, and we always win people's hearts.

Second, drinking with friends at the food stall, I suddenly remembered that my daughter-in-law was still hungry at home and gave myself a slap in the face in an instant. How to distract yourself by drinking? Come on, let's get started!

3. What should I do if I don't want to wash clothes? Just bring a wife. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes. If your daughter-in-law is tough, you should learn to wash clothes.

Fourth, I usually like to drive Rolls Royce and Bentley. If I go out with friends, I will drive a Porsche. If I want to drive a car, I prefer Ferrari. Of course, I like joking.

I don't think so when someone says I'm ugly. When more and more people say that I am ugly, I realize that there are more and more liars now.

6. I was walking on the road on a rainy day, and a big rush flew by me and splashed me with mud. Looking at the big rush in the distance, I secretly vowed in my heart that when I have money, I must buy a raincoat of my own.

7. Why do you buy clothes every year and have nothing to wear every year? Because you have more temperament every year, last year's clothes don't deserve you this year.

Eight, women don't think that they can not study because they are good, and men don't think that they can grow ugly because they read well.

Nine, I didn't like to eat when I was a child, which led to my short stature now; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short. Embrace your chubby self in danger.

Ten, although it is said that the twisted melon is not sweet, sometimes I don't care whether it is sweet or not. I just want to screw it off. I'll be happy if I screw it off.

It's all over. But if you invite me, I can eat more with you.

Sometimes you don't work hard, and you don't even know what despair is.

Thirteen, life is not only the present, but also the invitation of the predecessor.

Fourteen, I am different from others. I don't need money to solve anything that can be solved with money, because I have no money.

Fifteen, like our age, you must wear a helmet when driving an electric car, otherwise you will be recognized by your classmates when driving a BMW Mercedes-Benz.

Sixteen, don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, others envy you for having a good stomach, you envy others for being rich, and others envy no one to borrow money from you.

Seventeen, if I am in love, it doesn't matter if I am late; If I get rich, please do it now!

Eighteen, "Why don't you play basketball when you are so tall?" "Then why don't you sell sesame cakes because you are so short?"

Nineteen, how important is interest: I bought a smart washing machine for my mother, and I can't use it after teaching it n times. Later, I bought her a hemp machine, which can be used and repaired.

If you think you are tired like a dog all day, you really misunderstand. Dogs are not as tired as you.

Humorous sentence 2 1. No matter how many times you turn around, your ass is still behind you.

2. I set my mobile phone to flight mode. Why is it broken when you throw it downstairs from home?

Only a few people think twice before acting, and most of them are still thinking twice instead of doing it.

The highest state of being a man is not that you pick up girls, but that girls pick up girls.

There are so many bacteria in the outside world that I'm afraid I'll get infected as soon as I go out.

6. A man's lies can lie to a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can lie to a man for a lifetime.

7. Meeting strangers is really troublesome. Many lies have to be told once.

8. All the quicksand of memory, those lost years, washed away my dust and sand.

9. I'm really comfortable that people who don't like me can add trouble to your heart.

10. I went swimming in the lake in the afternoon and suddenly it rained heavily. I quickly dived into the water to avoid the rain.

1 1. It is said that women are fickle. It turns out that men are chameleons.

12. I thought I was evil, but I didn't know until I met him that there were very few people better than me.

13. You cured a blind man that day. When he saw you, he begged you to make him blind again.

14. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

15. To put it mildly, you are neither humble nor supercilious; In other words, you are blind.

16. You are the song in my heart, which will always thrill me.

17. Being single is not terrible, but those who try their best to make you end up.

18. A person's unforgettable memory has long been forgotten by others.

19. Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no choice but to grow old together.

Mona Lisa smiled because she saw Da Vinci cry.

2 1. How many children have been hurt by exams and how many honest children have learned to cheat.

22. What woman was never pursued by scum when she was young?

23. one-on-one hit. Although I will lose physically, I will never lose mentally to you.

24. If you belong to me, you only belong to me. I don't like sharing with others.

25. Goose, goose, goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, light the fire and cover the pot!

Humorous sentence 3 1, heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

Live well, because we will die for a long time!

3, people are not smart, but also learn from others to be bald!

4. Don't look for me if nothing happens, and don't look for me if anything happens.

There are only two kinds of people in this world: deceivers and deceived.

6. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but standing in front of you, but you can't say "I love you".

7. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?

8, even believe in advertisements, reading is stupid!

9, to mix in the rivers and lakes, it is best to be single! !

10, don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

1 1, you let me go, I'm leaving. You asked me to come back. I'm sorry, I walked away.

12, hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture. ...

13, it's not difficult to drive, I'm afraid there will be new people!

14, there is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

15, the mine disaster continues in the review, and the price increase is under control!

16, the tiger is not arrogant, you think I am a cat!

17, "When I was a child, I watched the stars all over the sky. When meteors flew by, it was always too late to make a wish. When I grew up, I met someone I really liked, but it was still too late. "

18, can't sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

19 eldest brother, I heard that the meat of second brother is more expensive than that of master.

20, women are pleased with themselves, and men are pleased with themselves!

2 1, bald donkey, dare to rob the teacher with being original?

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

23, only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find!

24, the crowd looked for her thousands of Baidu, walking on the road, suddenly looking back, looking around, countless aunts.

25. As long as the hoe jumps well, there is no wall that cannot be dug down.