What is the root cause of children's truancy and weariness of learning?

1. Direct cause. The direct reason why children don't want to go to school should be that they have been frustrated or hurt at school. For example, the study pressure is great, the study is not smooth, and they are always in the position of losers, which seriously hits their self-confidence; For example, teachers don't like or individual teachers discriminate against students unfairly; For example, there are problems in getting along with classmates, contradictions and disputes have not been fundamentally resolved in an appropriate way, leaving a knot, or bullying between classmates. These reasons will directly lead children to doubt and resist school life, and in severe cases, they will have the idea of not wanting to go to school.

2. Personality reasons. This is a little deeper. Children with different temperament types and personalities will have different reactions and experiences when facing various situations at school. Those careless, neurotic children, or more aggressive children, basically don't care about anything. Even if you encounter setbacks and unhappiness, you won't stay in negative emotions for too long and forget them in the blink of an eye, or you will directly resist or seek help in the face of injury, and you won't choose to be speechless and cause internal injuries. In contrast, children with courage and blood are less likely to fall into a painful spiritual world. Children with mucus and depression often have profound emotional experiences, are sentimental and introverted. Such children often leave a deep impression in their hearts when they encounter anything, which has a great influence on their emotions, and they are heavy-hearted, love to hide everything in their hearts and are more forbearing. Such children are often stuck in pain, resulting in alienation and resistance to the outside world. The reaction in school life is boredom and truancy. Such children are very distressing, but if their problems are not handled well, they will be even more reluctant to go to school.

3. the reason for being born in a family. This is even deeper. Children's temperament types are innate, and the formation of personality is often inseparable from the influence of the atmosphere of the family and the growth environment. In fact, we adults can also look back and reflect. A cheerful, sunny and enthusiastic person should grow up in a relaxed and peaceful environment. His parents and family should have no extreme or violent personality. His mother should be happy or optimistic, and his father should be more conscientious. On the other hand, if the child's character is depressed, obedient and cowardly for a long time, then we can look at his parents a little. Many times, the relationship between parents is problematic, often because of trivial quarrels, the cold war, or the precarious marriage, the mother is too strong and authoritarian, or the mother is in a state of anxiety and anxiety for a long time, unhappy and unhappy, while the father is cowardly or indifferent or irresponsible to the family. Under such a special personality, if you encounter difficulties in school again, you will inevitably feel tired of learning, which is actually a kind of seclusion.

When many parents don't want to go to school, their first reaction is to find ways to get their children to go to school. Personally, there are not many parents who can deeply reflect on the problem and accept their children's emotions. Their common methods are intimidation and inducement, but the effect is often unsatisfactory, either temporarily barely working or not working at all. Then in the face of children's disobedient parents, they will take a violent blow, which is equivalent to sprinkling a lot of salt on the child's wound. I don't know why I think of the child who jumped off a building in No.7 Middle School some time ago. The child's despair is the result of the joint action of the school, parents and his own personality, which leads to the tragedy. In the face of the fact that children don't go to school, even if parents try their best to ask for help from the outside world, such as specialized family education institutions and psychological counseling institutions, what they hope most is that experts can give them an immediate and practical way to let their children go to school quickly without delaying their homework or their children's future. I feel sad when I think about it. I love my children.

Personally, I think that when a child is tired of learning, he should first calm down, adjust his emotions such as shock, rejection and anxiety, tolerate and accept the child, and let the child who is already under great mental pressure feel that you are the support behind him. You can give him an understanding. Compared with children's mental health, from the long process of a person's growth, those delayed lessons are actually nothing at all. Let the children get out of the school environment first, which will help them calm down.

Might as well give the child time and space, and let him stay alone if he wants to stay alone. On the basis of the child's emotional calmness, slowly try to talk to the child and be honest with him. You can talk about your feelings, but you should actively listen to your child's real feelings and slowly find out the root of the problem. At this stage, parents should not be driven by anxiety, and start preaching or persuading their children to go to school when they are slightly open-minded, which will make them stop trusting you and lock their hearts more tightly. Might as well hold this idea, compared with the healthy sunshine of children, what's wrong with not going to school? What are the chances that a twisted child with mental retardation can live a happy life even after graduating from a famous university?

Communication that forms a benign path will expose the knot in each other's hearts or directly dissolve it. This process may be very long, which tests parents' patience and requires parents' reflection. The more serious the problem, the more serious the family problem, or the family problem lasts for a long time, except for one's own personality. Don't blame children for serious problems, but reflect on yourself and your family life style. If possible, actively improve or change these problems or defects, and dig and build them bit by bit until the problems fall apart and a healthy self and family pattern is re-established. At the same time, you can also ask for help from the outside world, such as teachers, classmates and friends who have done well in this field, but the methods must be appropriate and cautious, and the expression must be effective to avoid new misunderstandings and new injuries. At the same time, you should protect your child's self-esteem. Some children are very disgusted that their parents make decisions for them.

Problems are not formed in a day, nor are they solved in a day. Perhaps this rapidly developing and competitive society will not give our children time and patience, but as parents, we should give them time and patience. As the saying goes, sharpening the knife does not mistake the woodcutter, and stepping on roughness can usher in the sunset glow.