20 17 funny financial jokes

Joke is an artistic expression, expressing emotions in a subtle way. I have carefully arranged some jokes that can make your stomach ache, hoping to help you!

20 17 the most popular financial jokes

1, every time I see those junior high school students fall in love with senior high school students, I will advise them: Son, there is still a long way to go in life. It's time to study at your age. Don't learn those bad habits. It's not too late to talk when you are as old as your uncle. Listen to your uncle and give it to us first, okay?

2, it doesn't matter how much you earn, saving is king.

Jokes? What is your monthly salary? A little over twenty thousand. ? I'm looking at the paycheck? 3000.00? Go ahead.

Interpretation of self-mockery is self-mockery. There are many people with a monthly salary of 3000 yuan in our country. In fact, if you take good care of it, the deposit in the passbook may really become. A little over 20 thousand? ..... How? Financial planners who finance e-loans suggest that wage earners with average incomes should pay more attention to increasing revenue and reducing expenditure when managing assets, and should not take it for granted because of low wages? Moonlight clan? Or? Kanu? . After paying wages every month, set aside enough money and emergency reserve fund for your usual expenses, and make the rest compulsory savings or fixed investment. If you save enough for one or two years, you can make some steady investments, such as money funds, government bonds, and bill financing. In short, wealth accumulation is very important for low-income people.

3. Help your husband manage the account? Confiscation of salary cards

One day, I chatted with a group of stock friends and talked about private money. When everyone was feeling that they would be discovered by each other anyway, an uncle said: I kept everything in the bank. ? Everyone asked:? What about the passbook or card? Uncle simple and honest smile:? Burn it and get your ID card when you need it. ?

Interpretation of respect and trust is the most fundamental cornerstone to maintain marriage and family relations. In many families, the husband is willing to manage his wife's account, and the biggest motivation is based on love, so the wife should also master the management. Rongtong e-loan financial planner said that a wife helping her husband manage money does not mean that she must manage her salary card. First of all, both parties pay equally, so it is necessary to establish a * * * account to effectively avoid the transfer of family assets, and the other party knows nothing about it. Secondly, you can use the bank's fund collection business, that is, the funds in the associated account are regularly summarized into the main account in a preset way, so that even if you don't accept the salary card, you can automatically transfer part of the man's income to the corporate account on a regular basis. At the same time, in order to guide her husband to spend by credit card, we can understand his basic consumption habits through the bill information and form a more targeted management plan.

20 17 hottest financial jokes

4. What should I do if I see a female client taking a naked bath?

A world-famous hotel is looking for a manager, and there are many applicants. The boss wants to test them: One day you walk into a guest's room and find a female guest in a nude bath. What should you do?

Everyone raised their hands to answer, and some said? I'm sorry, miss, I didn't mean to. ? Someone said? Miss, I don't see anything. ? The boss kept shaking his head after listening.

At this time, a handsome young man said a word and was hired on the spot. Dear friend, do you know what he said?

The handsome young man said, I'm sorry, sir! Excuse me.

Answer analysis: This answer captures the psychology of the guests. The guest was obviously a woman, but the manager said, sir; What will the guests think? I must think that the manager didn't see her clearly, so he secretly pleased and saved face; Hotel managers want people who can grasp the psychology of users, so as to do a good job and communicate beautifully with users.

5. A few days ago, I saw my predecessor say in the space that he wanted an iphone5. I took the initiative to order one for him on Taobao. . . Look what he said today. Paralyzed who ordered i5 for Lao Zi, or cash on delivery? How can I explain to my mother that she doesn't believe that I didn't order it! ! ? I know her mother is a taekwondo coach, and I wonder if he was killed.

6. After a car accident, the bank teller became a vegetable. The doctor said that his hope of survival is only one in ten thousand, and the hope of awakening is even more slim. But his family did not give up. They call around him every day according to his hobby? Save money, save money! ? Miracle finally happened, little A woke up, the first sentence:? Hello, what can I do for you?

7. Little B, the bank account manager, became a vegetable in a car accident. The doctor said that the hope of survival is only one in ten thousand, and it is even more slim to wake up. His leading colleagues and relatives have not given up. According to the spirit of working overtime to write reports every day, they read books beside him every day. The credit line has been approved and can be activated after you sign it. ? Miracle finally happened, little B woke up, the first sentence:? How much was approved? Did you cut my quota?

8. After a beautiful bank account manager died, she had tea with God. God thought that talking too much would disturb the peace of heaven, so he sent her to hell.

Just a week later, the prince came to the door sweating and said, God, why don't you get her out? .

God asked: What's the matter?

Yan Wang said that all the children in hell were activated by him, and they held morning meetings every day, talked about dreams, talked about development plans, and danced in teams to be satisfied. Nobody listens to me. He asked me to do organizational structure, workflow, goal setting, salary design and performance appraisal. Underground workers should also pay attention to their image, improve their service skills and make everyone satisfied. ?

God is furious: let him go to heaven and see what I can do with him. .

A month later, Yan met God and asked? God, how did you manage that account manager?

God stopped and answered:? You made three mistakes. First of all, you should call me manager! Second, there is no God in this world, only customers are God! Third, I have no time to chat with you. I want to write a report. ?

20 17 latest financial jokes

1: I changed my job this year. Today's first day at work, my mother got up early to prepare breakfast. When I was ready to go out after breakfast, my mother gave me a red envelope, saying that I would be lucky to go to work on New Year's Day. I was in a hurry to go to work and put it in my pocket without looking closely. When I was free at work, I took out a red envelope and found that there was only a piece of paper with four big words written on it: Work hard?

My best friend's mother is very superstitious. Because my best friend went home to accompany her mother to the mahjong hall several times during the holiday, my mother always won money, so my mother insisted on taking her to play mahjong this winter vacation. Until yesterday when her mother sent her away, she said to her best friend in tears: Baby, this is the first time I won't give up ~

3. Take a taxi to work in the morning and chat with the taxi driver. When talking about the current relationship between men and women, the driver said that if there were differences between men and women in the past, they would change. Now, if there are differences, they will change. I was speechless after listening to it.