What are some interesting jokes and jokes?

1. I just went to buy medicine and suddenly forgot the name of the medicine. The owner of the drugstore said that I have been selling medicine for 3 years. As long as you say two words in the medicine, I will know what medicine. I thought for a long time and said, I only know the last two words. The boss said, what word? I said: Capsule ...

Grandpa: I don't know how your aunt liked me. I remember that Valentine's Day, I sold fruit and passed by a gold jewelry store to see the excitement. Your aunt worked as a salesman in it. I casually asked, "How much is this thing a catty ..."

Later, we got married. As a result, after we got married, she called me a liar when we quarreled.

3. Someone posted on a forum: After killing a cockroach with cockroach medicine, why do cockroaches appear more frequently?

Someone replied, "Your family is missing, aren't you in a hurry?"

Here comes the funny joke:

1. I went to the night market to buy a belt. When I walked to a stall, I found that the belt here looked beautiful and strong. I picked a favorite one and asked, "Boss, how much is it?" The boss looked up and said, "Fifteen! How old is your dog? "

2. On the way to a friend's house in the countryside, I saw a lot of wild vegetables drying outside a doorway. I didn't think anyone was there. I got off with a bag to steal some, and the host suddenly appeared and shouted, "What are you doing?" I quickly apologized and said, "Buy some wild vegetables. How much is a catty?" Master: "Take whatever you want! Feed the pigs, anyway, there are still things in the field. "

3. After running in the square in the evening, I was tired and sat on the bench. Next to me, a young woman was playing with her mobile phone intently. Suddenly, the young woman reached out and touched my leg ... We looked at each other in amazement for five seconds, and then the young woman stood up and shouted, "Ah! Where is my dog? I was lying here just now! ..... "

4. In the morning, my wife was wearing stockings, and I said," Your legs are very suitable for advertising stockings. " The wife smiled pleasantly: "Yuck, really?" Me: "Really, your legs fully prove that stockings are elastic ... Hi! ..... Don't throw your shoes at me. "

5. For ordinary wage earners, the amount of money men earn each month and the level of treatment at home are different. For example, if I earn 8 yuan this month, my wife will hold out the silk quilt for me; I earned 5 yuan, and my wife took out the duvet; I earn 3, and my wife carries out the quilt; Earn 1 yuan, I sleep in vegetation ...

Last night, my son lost his tooth for the first time. His wife said to him, "If you put the fallen tooth under the pillow, a tooth fairy will come in the middle of the night and change it into five dollars." So after my son fell asleep that night, I sneaked into his bedroom and carefully took the tooth from under his pillow. . . . . . . . Put it under your pillow.

My father's culture is not high. One day, my father suddenly asked me to teach English the words "I'm sorry and thank you". I said to him: I'm sorry, English is sorry, thank you, and English is thank you. Dad explained it to me. One day, when my father crowded the bus, there was a beautiful woman in front of him. The driver suddenly braked suddenly, and my father's hand touched the beautiful woman's chest. My father suddenly had a flash of light and said thank you. The whole car said. . . . . . Man of God!

haha, it's a pity that I can only send nine pictures

and save a lot

1. I never want to see you again

Husband: Where to?

wife: I'm so angry. I never want to see you again.

Husband: You can ignore me now, but you must finish quarreling before going to bed at night.

wife: why?

Husband: Because the night is too long, I want to hold you to sleep.

2. You can not only have a look, but also have a look around.

Husband: Wife, it's May Day. Where shall we go to play?

wife: where do you want to go?

Husband: I want to go to Huangshan or Guilin to see the mountains and rivers, and the Great Wall is also good.

wife: haven't you seen anyone? Come on, I bought you a globe.

husband: what?

wife: the world is so big that you can not only look around, but also look around.

3. I will continue to work hard.

Wife: Honey, we have been together for seven years. Do you have anything to say?

Husband: Being with you is the most satisfying thing in my life. Since we have been together, every day, meals are cooked, bowls are brushed and clothes are washed. If you don't do it, you will scold me. It's really hard for you.

wife: ouch! You're welcome, my family. I'll keep trying.

1. On the bus, a man fell down because he was unstable. When a woman saw it, she said: All three feet are unstable. The man stood up and replied: Who can speak better than you?

2. A asks B: Hello; I heard you were fired.

b: no!

a: what did the boss say to you?

b: he said he couldn't do this little thing well, so he didn't have to come to work tomorrow.

a: isn't that fired?

b: no, he told me not to come to work tomorrow. I'll come the day after tomorrow!

3. How much is this dress? 4 yuan. Do you want 2 yuan? All right, then. I'm not buying it. I'm just here to practice bargaining, okay?

4. how much do you want to cut when you stutter and come to the stall to buy pork? Pointing to say: chop, chop, chop, chop. The stall butcher was dumbfounded after cutting it.

5. The man's blind date failed several times. Because his family was poor, he thought of a way to buy spray paint and wrote the word' demolition' on the wall. The blind date was successfully completed. A few years later, the woman walked at the door holding one in her belly and said, When will this house be folded?

Yu Wan looked at the audience behind the scenes. He was not angry or in a hurry. He thought about it, and when it was a big deal, he cracked the hole and said that he would go it alone. I still don't believe it. I can't make a trough cake without your rotten egg.

just thinking, the phone rang. Sure enough, it was his wife who broke the laundry list again.

"Sorry, Brother Wan, the laundry list can't go again today."

"What's the matter now?" Fish than a little impatient, didn't good the spirit ground say.

"It's troublesome this time. The laundry list was taken to the police station by the police!"

"ah? ! What's going on? What did he do? "

"The police said he was a hooligan."

"ah ...? He ... he's a hooligan? This can't be done! " This is beyond the expectation of Yu Wan. He thought, this is a big deal, and no matter what, you can't ignore it. Say hello to which police station, get on the bus and leave.

When I arrived at the police station, I saw a broken laundry list with my head drooping, standing awkwardly in the corner, my pants askew from the inside, and my front was wet. Fish said, not good, this is to let people catch the current!

"He can't be a hooligan. Really, comrade policeman, I won't lie!" The broken daughter-in-law explained to the police in a hurry.

"How do you know he can't be a hooligan?" The policeman thought, although you hate him for being a hooligan, he is still his daughter-in-law. Now let's get him home first. Do I understand this?

"I'm his wife. I don't know who knows?" Said a fish: "don't believe it, ask him!" "

Yu Wan said quickly, "Yes, it seems ... I've heard of it."

"What do you want? Just!"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Fish quickly changed his mouth, and then said, "Don't you have videos? Don't you just look at the video? "

The police remembered to watch the video.

look at the hotel first.

Just like the laundry list, he drank five or six bottles of beer alone and then walked out of the restaurant.

then, the video on the street is shown.

Just like the broken basket said, after going out for dozens of meters, he shook his head left and right, as if looking for something. He looked up and saw a street sign that said: public toilet, turn left for 2 meters. Then go along the direction and see the street sign: public toilet, turn right for 3 meters. At this time, I have seen that the broken laundry list is swaying from side to side, but I still move on. At 3 meters, it's still a sign: public toilet, 25 meters ahead of the traffic lights. At this time, the body of the broken laundry list was shaking even more, and the five senses were already deformed. When I rubbed against the traffic lights, I finally couldn't help but untie my belt ... < P > As the broken laundry list said, he let the urine hold back, not deliberately playing hooligans in public.

once things are clear, the broken laundry list will be fine. Before leaving, the police uncle patted the broken basket on the shoulder and said, "Drink in the future, remember these words ..."

"You say, you say ..." The broken basket bowed.

The policeman said, "Listen to your wife, follow the party, eat more vegetables and drink less."

"Be sure, be sure, be sure to listen to your wife! The broken basket shook the policeman's hand hard.

a laundry list of wives is happy. Fish Wan also provoked Thumb: "Fart essence! Fart essence! "

The policeman said, "What?"

"Ah ... no, no," Yuwan immediately changed his tune: "Fine fart, fine fart, it's fine fart!"

everyone was happy, waved their hands and said goodbye to each other.

In the evening, after dinner, I went downstairs to chat. Some people said that there are too few public toilets and it is too difficult to find them. I was inspired and wrote a paper to satirize the embarrassing image that there are more banks than toilets in cities now. Fortunately, there are broken baskets, and with this prop, bad things can be put in.

"If you give it to your wife, go with the party, eat more vegetables and drink less." I heard these words on the wine table many years ago, and I dare not be greedy. I hereby explain.

1 Last night, I saw my roommate's smelly socks left on the sofa, so I said something to him. As a result, he jumped up at once. Are you a dragon in charge of a sea?

2 generations of God, God pays off the rich.

3 My roommate is usually a serious person. If he hadn't come home from work early one day, he would never have dreamed that he would take a mop and transform into a little devil in front of the bathroom mirror. He was stunned and collapsed. I am busy comforting him. People who are fine will be like this when they are alone. I also practice hard when I am alone.

4 people are looking for her, who is she? Who told the matchmaker not to be a matchmaker

There are many funny stories and jokes in our daily life and work. As long as we carefully observe, life is full of happy events and we will be happy every day. Learn more happy jokes, and communication with people will become very relaxed and happy. Let's share a few funny jokes.

1 Stop saying that you are single dog. Dogs sometimes have three wives and four concubines.

2 Stop losing weight. Your ugliness is not because you are fat.

3 money can solve 99% of things, but that 1% needs more money.

4 The main reason for divorce is getting married.

5 How to explain that since ancient times, Because no one cares how long ugly people will live

6 efforts may not be successful, but if you don't work hard, it will be very easy

7 Don't say that you are more tired than dogs, dogs are not so tired

8 Failure is not terrible, what is terrible is that there are always people who believe this sentence

9 Some people are born directly at the finish line instead of winning at the starting line

1 As the old saying goes, it is difficult to start everything.

11 People who love to laugh are not too unlucky, because they are too unlucky to laugh.

12 I am an invisible rich man, so I haven't found my money yet.

13 If the air is free, I wouldn't be alive now.

14 I don't want to go to the third grade, because I'm not enough.

15 I often cry foolishly by myself, but I can't bear to beat myself < Because as long as I can solve problems with money, I can't solve them.

17 After studying for many years, I think kindergarten is easier to get along with.

18 I want to sleep all the time except during my sleep time.

19 Although I say that the twisted melon is not sweet, it is very thirst-quenching.

2 I finally found a word that suits me, fat but not greasy.