Xiahe prose

In small towns, villagers often use words like "up" and "down", which are both verbs and directions.

When acquaintances meet, you ask, "Where are you going?" He casually replied to you: "Go to the street (or go down the street)!" Although the answer is simple, the meaning is quite clear, and the questioner will know that you are going to the street. If we haven't seen each other for a long time, we will talk more. We often meet people who meet each other after a brief encounter. After exchanging greetings, we walked away and went our separate ways.

Although "Shang" and "Xia" here are both verbs, they both refer to going to the street, but they are different in discourse expression. Whether he will say "up the street" or "down the street" depends entirely on his position and his usual habits. Supposedly, there should be differences and boundaries between up and down, but in the mouth of the villagers, it has become a relatively vague concept. Although it is vague, it becomes a state of "only knowing what it is, but not knowing what it says" when it is said and understood by the listeners.

Take Xiahe as an example. According to the usual understanding, it should refer to going to the river, but in a small town, it refers to the section where Xiaohe passes through Nandafu. Because Nanda is located at the southernmost tip of the town, and it is also the last section of Xiaohe River passing through the town, that section of the river has become a proper term in the mouth of the town people. But if you ask someone, "Where do you live?" If he answers you, "Go downstream!" Don't take it for granted that his family lives in the river below. We should know that sometimes "Xiahe" is also a general term for the southeast end of Nantah, and the "Xiahe" here has become a reference for a certain area of Nantah. However, Nantah people who live in Xiahe also have their own understanding of "Xiahe", one refers to their own position, and the other refers to the lower part of Xiaohe after passing them. So "going down the river" has become a general concept, depending on who this person is talking about and what he wants to express.

The south of the bridge where my home is located is almost the "pot bottom" in the center of the town. The river winds through the town like a crack in the bottom of a pot. The south side of the bridge is on the south bank of the middle reaches of the river, which can barely be regarded as a pillow. Therefore, in our consciousness, "Xiahe" has become a simple geographical term, especially the part of Xiaohe that belongs to the lower reaches through Nanda. As for how long and how far that part is, it depends on your own feet. So many times, for our children, the river is a paradise we often yearn for, and it is even more mysterious, because it is rich in products and difficult to reach because it is remote.

It is said that Xiahe is rich in products because Xiahe is located in the lower reaches of the river. Compared with the south and middle reaches of the bridge, where even the trickle is often interrupted, the water volume is still relatively "abundant". Although its water surface is not very wide, at least there is no need to worry about interruption. Since there is water in the river all the year round, there are bound to be aquatic animals such as fish, shrimp and crabs. Once there are fish and shrimp in the river, the river will come alive and become a paradise for children in the town.

At that time, loach and shrimp were the most common in the river, and crucian carp slices and crabs were not uncommon, but people seldom thought about how to catch them for eating. More often, the children quietly stuffed a small tin bottle to catch them playing, and when they were tired of playing, they poured them into the river and let them go wherever they came from. But some of them were killed by playing and taken home to feed cats or chickens, which is another destination for them. At that time, I didn't like fish and shrimp very much, so I was too lazy to catch them. My favorite thing is to tread water in sandals.

Go all the way along the river slope where you live, pick up pebbles of different colors to play with, or occasionally pick up an old porcelain fish-shaped "called Chuier (a small hollow whistling porcelain toy)", wash it in the spring hole for washing clothes and put it in your mouth to play with. What I hope most is actually to find a copper coin in the river (twenty penniless coins in the Qing Dynasty or the Republic of China). Although I can't change it into money, I can play with it in my hand. I will appreciate its exquisite design, while gently pinching it with two fingertips and blowing it in my mouth, listening to its unique metallic sound when it is suddenly blown up by the airflow in my mouth.

However, for me who was only seven or eight years old at that time, Xiahe was no stranger, but it was still a region far from home. Besides, I am a loner and dare not go too far. The "exploration" of the river belongs to the kind of tasting. Usually it is bounded by Xinfeng No.6 Mine Bridge, and I will return when I arrive.

But in the eyes of boys, distance is always a world that fascinates them. The more they can't reach, the more they will yearn for it. Me too! Although I have never been farther away, my yearning for it is growing day by day.

Finally, on a summer morning, when I was playing on the river slope, I heard several older children talking about going to Huanggu Bridge downstream, so I joined their "downstream trip" with a friend who lives in the south of the bridge. According to the leader of the big boy, there is a high railway bridge on Huanggu Road, which belongs to the boundary of Jia County. It's a long way, so I can't walk back at noon. Everyone should be prepared to starve, but don't worry completely. He will catch fish for us to roast and show us a box of matches in his pocket.

I haven't eaten grilled fish, because I haven't eaten fish since I was a child, so I don't know what it should taste like, so I don't think it's delicious, so I naturally have no hope for it. But whether it's delicious or not, I'm not afraid. You know, for me, exploring rivers is what I have always longed for. Hunger is nothing.

We boys walked down the river slope and stopped all the way. Near noon, we finally arrived at the place called Huanggu Road. Accustomed to looking for small objects in the river, I inadvertently looked up and saw a tall and big bridge. When we went to the bottom of the bridge and looked up, we were shocked by the height of the bridge: it felt as if it was not an artificial bridge. If it wasn't for the pier support below, I would think it was a crossbar hanging in the sky. The sunshine at noon is dazzling, and the color of the sky is blue. The bridge made of cement just stood in the air, which gave me a very strong visual shock that I had never seen the world at that time.

In order to show his ability, the eldest son of the leader suggested that everyone bypass Gao Qiao and ask who has the courage to cross the bridge. His proposal did not get everyone's approval. After all, everyone is still a child. Crossing such a high bridge is a very dangerous move and an extreme psychological challenge. And I'm afraid of heights, let alone let me walk from it. Even if I just step on a bridge, I'm afraid I'll collapse all over. Thinking of the terrible scene of being helpless at high altitude, a chill can't help rising from the soles of your feet to your heart.

Fortunately, everyone didn't respond to his proposal, so he had to lead everyone to dig crabs in the mud hole by the river, saying that after catching them, he would tear off the gray-black skull on his back like a monk's hat to see if there was an ancient French sea to catch white snakes.

At noon in summer, crabs mostly hide in mud holes on the banks of rivers to enjoy the cool and sleep. If you want to catch them, you can only dig them out by hand. Crab is not a kind person, so it will not give up easily. Although it is resting in the cave, if you touch it, you have to hold your hand with pincer claws. As for how heavy and painful the clamping force is, only the gripper knows it.

The leading child showed us how to dig the crab out of the mud hole on the shore, and said that just put your hand in and let it hold your finger with pliers, then take it out quickly and throw it on the shore. He even grabbed one to show us. The crab was caught, of medium height, but it was also caught with a crimson mark on its forefinger. Although he didn't shout, it must have hurt. Naturally, I won't try pliers with my little hand. After all, it doesn't matter to me whether "Lao Fa Hai" is hidden in a crab shell. I just watched them catch it.

The Huanggu Road Bridge under the river is full of water, the river is fun, and the stones are washed clean and smooth by the current. Frogs and toads are jumping in the fields beside them; Under the tree in the distance, I don't know whose cow is grazing and swinging its tail, occasionally making a long "uh-huh ..." cry in the direction of the village; I don't know how many "bells (cicadas)" are screaming one by one on the tung trees on the river bank. And such beautiful scenery and insects can't compare with hunger in the stomach. At this point, the initial enthusiasm has been exhausted, and everyone can hear the "whispering" sound in each other's stomachs because of hunger. So the leader called on everyone to catch fish to satisfy their hunger.

The fish he said should actually be a big loach, which we usually call "jùlóng". But at that time the loach was really big, thicker than an adult's thumb. Perhaps it was because people seldom caught them to eat at that time. They all grew round and thick, with golden sides and yellow light shining in the sun. As long as you master the skills, you can easily catch them in the muddy water of the river ditch. At that time, there were many catfish. When you started to catch them, many of them often rummaged in the mud, which dazzled you. Simply put, you just hold the mud together and let them jump ashore. When they are too weak to jump, you catch them again. In addition to looking at you straight, it struggled a few times, leaving only a few tentacles on its mouth, which moved back and forth with the opening and closing of its mouth, much like the long mouth of a big carp riding a fat doll in New Year pictures.

After catching a dozen stout fish, the leader's boss made a small fire on the river bank and began to teach everyone how to make food. And the so-called production is just roasting on the fire. The way is to find a strong stick and go straight through the fish's mouth without cutting the internal organs. After wearing it, just rinse it in water, and directly put one end of the stick on the fire to roast it. When it's almost cooked, take a bite and eat it. But all these have a premise, that is, do it yourself and have plenty of food and clothing.

I also learn from their appearance. I catch fish, wear sticks, wash fish and barbecue according to their appearance. But when I was ready to eat, I thought that the fish was roasted directly without removing the intestines, and I didn't like the fishy smell at all. After taking a bite, I feel really tasteless and difficult to swallow, so I won't eat any more. I can only endure the hunger in my stomach and watch others eat.

Guess it was three o'clock in the afternoon, and our party set foot on the way back upstream along the river. Different from the high spirits when I came, everyone at this time has already lost the motivation of looking forward to it when I first came. A few people scattered on the river slope for a walk, like a small group of beaten soldiers

That trip to the river, although I left hungry, also completed my farthest exploration of the river, which made me remember the beautiful and clean river, the flowing river, the thick and round golden catfish and the scary high railway bridge. So many times later, in my dreams, I clearly dreamed that I was struggling on the high-speed railway bridge in Huanggu Luqiao, and I had to close my eyes in fear, just like an ostrich burying its head in the sand to avoid disaster and escape such a difficult situation.

I don't remember whether I went to Huanggu Bridge under the river in those years when I was growing up, but that high railway bridge appeared many times in my childhood dreams, which became a nightmare that made me tremble with fear, and I became more and more afraid of heights. But anyway, objectively speaking, because of that trip to the river, I really saw the beauty of the river and understood the mystery planted in my heart because of its remoteness. Therefore, in my mind, this river is still beautiful, and I yearn for it infinitely. So that when mentioned later, I often yearn for it.

Later, when I grew up, I left my hometown. Then Xiahe became a part of my hometown and childhood memories, just like sand, stones, broken porcelain and rubble deposited in the river, which became my dream of homesickness.

I went back to my hometown this year. Because my wife's family is in Lower Henan Province, I went to visit Lord Taishan. With a period of leisure, I went down the river by memory alone to find the river that my childhood left me with beauty and fear. The purpose is to know this river since childhood. However, this river can't go on, because it is dirty and dry, so I can only feel my way along the village road by intuition. Unable to find the road along the river, I followed the abandoned coal trains and railways until I reached the high-speed railway bridge on Huanggu Road.

Standing on the high bridge, at this time, I have already lost my childhood fears, and finally I can walk on the bridge calmly for the first time and overcome the nightmare that has been entangled in my heart since I was a child.

Standing on the bridge, I have a lot of thoughts: the bridge is still that bridge, but it is broken; That river is still that river, and the stones in the river are still that one, but there is no running water; People are still the introverted child who is afraid of heights, but his face turns black and wrinkles appear; The bridge is still so high, but it is not so high in my eyes at the moment.

Turning over the river from the bridge, in the memory of a field, there is still water flowing in a ditch. After flowing through a small field, only a dozen meters flowed out of the riverbed full of rubble, and then disappeared into the dry riverbed, becoming the swan song of the river, without gurgling water or flowing ding-dong. ...

My foot stepped on the gravel riverbed, let my eyes and memory search together, looking for the past appearance of the river. Except for the bridge hanging high overhead and the natural or man-made stones paved on the bottom of the river, only rubble and debris still filled the river as at that time. Just because there is no water, they have turned pale or yellow.

In this withered river, I am still searching tirelessly, hoping to find a familiar little porcelain fish called Chuier. However, apart from the familiar foot bowl (a special appliance for holding porcelain bowls under the cage helmet when cooking bowls in the old porcelain kiln), the fragments of the cage helmet, the broken bottom of the bowl, as well as garbage, stones and broken bricks, I have completely lost the beauty of my childhood memories. Fortunately, after searching for a long time, I found an ancient porcelain spinning wheel, which is the biggest gain of my trip.

Playing with the porcelain spinning wheel, I was thinking: this trip to the riverside is my dream-seeking journey and my dream-breaking journey. Unexpectedly, 30 years later, this river will become so vicissitudes and dilapidated. But in any case, I came after all, came to her arms, fulfilled my childhood dream and went to the river in my memory. Although she is old and ugly, I will still follow the memory of a teenager and fantasize about her beautiful face when she was young.

Down the river, I'm coming! I walk on your shoulders, I walk on your body, let you hold my hand and walk into your memory, where there is my carefree youth and the beauty of your youth!