There is a funny saying, I can't remember the one behind the rural hukou. Who knows?

1. I am ugly, 1.29 meters, poor and ugly, 1.49 meters, primary school culture, rural hukou, three shabby houses, an acre of fertile land, a cold pot and a hot stove, no wife, all the year round, medicine never leaves my mouth, surfing the internet today, recruiting girlfriends, revolutionary road.

2. I am ugly, 1.29 meters; Primary school culture, rural hukou; The house was not built and there was no deposit; Wandering around, working for a living, doing nothing, drinking a little wine, sending a text message, Doby puppy.

Add another joke about rural hukou: I hope to adopt!

Rural hukou in the Monkey King

Author: Anonymous-Category: Humorous Jokes-Source: Internet

It is said that the Monkey King caused havoc in the Heavenly Palace, and Guanyin Bodhisattva recommended Jiro Zhenjun to subdue the demon and lead the heavenly soldiers to fight in Huaguoshan. While fighting, the Great Sage suddenly saw that the demon monkey in this camp was scared away and was flustered. He pulled himself away. The heavenly soldiers will be in a panic, looking back and forth, all shouting: "Monkey King, let's go!" " Let's go, this monkey is very good! "

Erlang Shen opened his eyes and saw the prosperity of the lower world. The Great Sage turned into an old man, pushing a tricycle, shaking the ground and selling roasted sweet potatoes in the street. Jiro sneered in his heart and was about to hit him. Suddenly, he saw a group of chengguan, holding hammers, chopping sticks, shouting and drinking, and smashed themselves into pieces. Great Sage was frightened and thought it was a mountain soldier coming. He quickly turned the corner, turned himself into a young lady, blinked and walked there gracefully. However, Jiro saw clearly that he tried to bid twice. However, several policemen came face to face and caught the Great Sage: "It must be a pheasant. Come with me! " The Great Sage panicked and said, "I'm not a pheasant, I'm still a virgin!" The policeman laughed wildly: "Why a virgin? Can't virgins be prostitutes? " When the handcuffs shake, you have to arrest people. When the Great Sage saw that something was not right, he twisted his waist and flew away. Seeing a ravine in front of me, I rolled down the cliff, squatted there and became a primary school, with my mouth wide open, like the school gate, my teeth turned into door leaves, my eyes turned into window grilles, shook off a few monkey lice and became a babbling student. Only the tail is not easy to clean up, standing behind it, turning into a flagpole, with a big slogan: "A century-old plan, education-oriented; Compulsory education, free admission. " Jiro was robbed twice, and he was bored. Seeing this slogan, he couldn't help laughing: "This is the monkey! He coaxed me again today. As we all know, China is known as compulsory education, where can it be free? I've seen thousands of schools, but I don't see any one that doesn't make students a cash cow. Look, I killed this monkey! " Hearing this, the Great Sage jumped up and disappeared into the air.

The real king couldn't see the Great Sage, so he jumped into the clouds and took off. Seeing Li Tianwang standing in the clouds with his telescope held high, he laughed and said, "Zhenjun, let's go! Let's go The monkey comes out of the camp with invisibility and enters your mouth. " Hearing this, Jiro hurried back to Jiangkou to catch up.

It is said that Guanjiangkou is holding a conference, and the Great Sage, the representative of XX, is in the center of the venue, pointing east and west, giving a warm speech. I thought I was right, but I was seen by Zhenjun at a glance: "XX represents the idol of clay figurines all the time. When can I come out alive? " Hold the three-pointed and two-edged god front and cut it on the face. The Monkey King quickly dodged, making the golden hoop stick face to face. The two quarreled and hit the venue, half foggy and half cloudy, and they fought together.

Guanyin Bodhisattva, director of the Mid-air Goddess Federation, and Taishang Laojun, the minister of alchemy, are watching the battle. The Bodhisattva said to the old gentleman, "Brother Laojun, what do you think of the Erlang God mentioned by the poor monk? If there is an avatar, it has been surrounded by the Great Sage, but it has not been captured. I'll help him now and take the monkey head off. " The old man said, "Sister Guanyin? What weapons will you use to help him? " Guanyin turned and called his mount: "Look, I hit him with a BMW." The old man said, "Your BMW is very expensive. It is inconvenient if it is damaged. " Guanyin said, "It's public money anyway. Hit it and hit it. " The old man added: "It is also very troublesome to repair. Let me help him for my sister. " Guanyin said, "I don't want it if it's broken. I just want to change a Cadillac. " Is pandering, behind the old man turned a fairy moths, is a famous professor zhang, presented to the old man a treasure, mumbling something "can't let everyone come to heaven ... I still don't think I was wrong ..." Turn around. When the old man looked intently at it, he was overjoyed that it was a "celestial population access system": "When it came out, people all over China trembled. It can be used against monkeys in Shan Ye village. Let me throw it and hit him. Sister Guanyin, this credit will go to me. " Guanyin said angrily, "Damn it, people won't play with you." The old man smiled and said, "Sister, don't be angry. If this blow is successful, it will be made into a theme movie. My sister will be the protagonist, played by my ugly girl, and all the theaters will show at the same time. How about it? " Guanyin came back to give Chen joy.

I saw the old gentleman slap the magic weapon down from Tianmen, going round and round, and cocoa hit the Monkey King on the head, knocking the Great Sage to the ground, and the public security in the sky set it on, firmly binding the Great Sage and never changing it. A policeman said angrily, "This guy made us suffer a lot. Give him back today! Spare you a the Monkey King and turn you into Sun Zhigang today! " Just as he was about to give up the means, another policeman shouted, "Wait a minute, we have lost the old means, and what is popular now is to connect with the international community." The methods of torture used by American troops in Iraq are ever-changing. Why not learn a trick or two and make a fresh joke today? " Hearing this, the police all claimed that it was wonderful, so they took the Great Sage to the demon chopping platform, lit the fire, and cut the axe with knives, but did not hurt the Great Sage.

Seeing this, the Jade Emperor hesitated: "This fellow, what should I do ...? "The old gentleman said," What if I don't take it with the old gentleman and put it in the gossip furnace to refine my Dan? " Upon hearing this, the Jade Emperor gave the Great Sage to Lao Jun for exercise. The Great Sage didn't know that he was a supernatural being. He pulled out a hair and turned it into a dollar bill, bribing the boy who fanned the flames. Knowing that there was no fire under that position, I went to escape and was not seriously injured.

On July 49, the old gentleman opened the furnace to get Dan, but he saw the Great Sage fly out, causing the golden cudgel to be killed in all directions, so that the Nine Obsidian Stars in the Heavenly Palace closed and the Four Heavenly Kings disappeared without a trace. Walking straight to the front of Tong Ming Temple, the Jade Emperor was surprised and shouted, "Quick, close the door and let the police go!" It turns out that this police assistant is ten times more vicious than ordinary policemen. I saw one by one fighting bravely for the first place, roaring enthusiastically, and surrounded the Great Sage, and they were about to win.

When the Jade Emperor saw that all the policemen had dispersed, he was very happy. It turns out that this generation is insatiable, with only gold and silver in their eyes. Chain mail, the gold of the Great Sage, was baked in the stove and torn by the police officers. Suddenly, everyone had a piece of gold in their mouth and ran back to the backyard to bury things.

I had no choice but to see the Tathagata from the West help me gamble with the Great Sage. The Tathagata said, "I have a magic weapon. If you can fly out of my magic weapon, you are the Jade Emperor. " If we can't fly out, how about surrendering? "Say that finish, he took out a magic weapon from the bosom. When Wukong looked intently, it was a small notebook with three big characters written on it: temporary residence permit. He smiled and said, "What is the power of a small notebook? I'll go! "A man flew down from the sky and landed on the border of Beijing. As soon as his footsteps fell, he saw several policemen coming: "Who is that, talking about you! Take out the temporary residence permit and have a look! " Goku was surprised, twisted his waist and flew to Guangzhou. While watching, he suddenly saw a group of defense team members rushing in: "This seems to have no temporary residence permit. Hurry up and get him! "Too many chefs tried to win the Great Sage, but the Great Sage quickly parted his hands and flew again. It was difficult to tell the direction urgently, but he flew back to Tathagata. The Tathagata said with a smile, "What about my baby? "It doesn't count," said the Great Sage. Not counting! I heard that there are countries in the west that have no temporary residence permits. Wait for me! " I was about to jump out, but I was turned over by the Tathagata's palm, turning the temporary residence permit into a five-element mountain and firmly holding down the Great Sage.

The Jade Emperor was overjoyed to see the Great Sage captured, so he invited Tathagata and heroes to prepare mahjong for a banquet, and accompanied him with stolen money to make an anti-heaven meeting and get together. While having a good time, an old lady from Wuxingshan neighborhood Committee came to report: "The Great Sage poked his head out and said that he would leave the job fair, send out resumes and business cards, and get a place to make a comeback!" Tathagata said, "I might as well, I might as well." I just took out a post from my sleeve with six golden words on it: "This person's rural hukou." Give it to his men and stick it on the five elements. Borrow from heaven for another 500 years, so that the pillars will not fall, the mountains will take root and the Great Sage will never climb out again. Since then, I have been unable to turn over for 500 years.