What if the child doesn't want to be close to his parents and just wants to play with the nanny?

Objectively speaking, it is understandable that parents strive for a good future for their families and children when they are young. However, from the perspective of children, what would they think?

Psychologists call this kind of parents who leave their children in the care of nannies as "formal parents", and they have not formed a good parent-child attachment relationship with their children. As we all know, the sense of security formed by a baby under 3 years old will accompany him all his life, helping him to establish intimacy, trust and self-identity with others in adulthood, and a good parent-child attachment relationship is the basis of this sense of security.

We know that many nannies really like children. Children can get the satisfaction of parent-child emotion from the love expressed by the nanny's eyes, tone and movements. Although this parent-child relationship is a bit "ectopic", they are still very lucky.

This kind of parent-child emotion should have been provided by mom and dad, but now it is done by the nanny. Children will become more dependent on and trust the nanny, and it is easier to get comfort from the nanny when crying. And parents who are supposed to be blood relatives have only an unclear sense of distance.

This sense of distance is reflected in: children will resist intimate physical contact, and the most common kisses and hugs will make the baby disgusted, struggling and crying. The gentle appeasement of the nanny can calm them down quickly.

In the long run, the ectopic or missing parent-child relationship in childhood not only causes indifference, but also lays a hidden danger for children's future education. Compared with other children with a better sense of security, they are more likely to resent and reject their parents' care and preaching.

Foreign research institutions show that the lack of fatherly love and maternal love in childhood will make children's hormone levels unstable, their emotions out of control, they are not good at facing pressure, and they are more likely to choose violence. In this regard, the famous early education expert Montessori also studied: "Every personality defect can be found in its childhood experience."

The economic conditions of modern families are getting better and better, and the knowledge level of parents is getting higher and higher. They also began to pay more attention to children's education. In fact, instead of giving their babies various interest classes, young parents might as well base themselves on themselves and think about how to enhance the affection between parents and children.

No matter how considerate a nanny is, she can never replace her parents. In the baby's long growth process, parents are the protagonists. Although blood relatives cannot be changed, without love, children's education and long-term parent-child feelings will be greatly affected. Parents need to take care of their children themselves, and don't put all the blame on the nanny or the elderly.