The disappearance of my sister-on the fifth day after my father's death/kloc-0.

I went to my mother's house after work last night, which may be my last bag of things. After my father died, I couldn't help crying every time I went to Nangong North Station by bus. Thinking of my father's last appearance here, I went out to buy rice at noon and looked at the sanitation and cleaning chrysanthemums on the unit street and wanted to take them away by car. So he gave me a big pot of purple chrysanthemums, but he didn't give me a flowerpot. I even used dirt to catch flowers and hold dirt. I am very happy to go to work. People ask me from time to time in the street. Walking is very confusing. I have no place to put it at home, and I can't bear to put it in the office. So I thought I'd put it at my mom's house. So, as expected, a child politely asked me to find a flowerpot. I didn't ask for it I wrapped the flowers in a plastic bag and covered them with dirt. I called my mother, but no one answered. Dad answered the phone. It was Rong Er in Rong Er. In the evening, I took flowers to Nangong North Station and waited for a while. Dad came pushing a vegetable cart. Dad is dressed a little sloppy. Dad often does this in the last few years, especially when I haven't seen him for a long time. Every time I see him, I will remind him to be obedient, and he will be more agile next time. I spent a long time with my dad, and those were his glorious days. At that time, he couldn't hide his poverty. I will argue with him when there are no outsiders. He has gone too far in some things, and he won't do me any good. He looks down on my poor performance, but I just can't hide his poor performance. Whoever bullies him will do whatever it takes to get justice for him. Who bullied my dad, especially in front of me? Whoever doesn't respect my dad doesn't respect me! Dad is only a little disobedient, that is, his hair, I don't know where it was cut, and it looks like a dog's bite. I have recommended many places to 20 yuan once, but he has never been there. Dad's face turned black at once, and the feeling at that time was that he looked terrible. He said that my car didn't expect to be fast today, and he didn't remember what he said. Anyway, those words seem empty to me, and he treats me like a fool and is too lazy to listen. Now it's gone, just like my current unit, virtual reality is gone! As for chrysanthemums, my mother called in a few days and said they were very fragrant. Later, I never saw it again. When my father had an accident, I went to his house to receive visitors. The room makes my parents feel radiant and the green plants are beautiful. I feel that I am not here these days. They love life very much, but they just don't see chrysanthemums. Just like a pile of hay after the flowers fall, just like what I happily thought was the best, such as the gift I gave them in the past, and now I don't like it. I came to my mother's house and I lost my key. I can open the unit door without access control. I went to the fifth floor and listened, but there was no sound. I knocked at the door, and my uncle came out. It was quite nourishing to walk over. When it floats, it smells like fish, as if I am cooking. As soon as I entered the door, my mother greeted me, a little faded. Every time I come here, she is very busy. After dad left, I never took a good look at my mother's house. This time on the bus, I made up my mind to look at every room and say goodbye. I won't listen to them this time. I won't go into my dad's room, but I must have a look. As soon as I entered the door, my mother asked me to put my bag down. I didn't put it down. Because my home is not safe, there are too many important things in my bag. I said I'm going to the bathroom. Every time I go to the bathroom first thing, there is no place to put my bag. I put my bag on the mop and my father bought paper. According to my parents, there is a discount in the supermarket, so I bought it in limited quantities. My father doesn't know how many bags I bought. Anyway, this is the maximum. I went downstairs. I picked up my bag and pushed open the toilet door. Mom is waiting for me. I went straight to the door of my father's room. The door was open and I didn't turn on the light. I turned on the light. I stayed. Mom used to say that dad did the most damage to the house. I thought it must be cleaner now. My old aunt is the most capable and clean. What happened? I can't say it. It's really lucky to say it. The house is poor and shabby, and many things are missing. I don't know what is missing, and I don't want to know. My dad's house is always full of things. My father's bed is always thick and tidy, and even his favorite grandson doesn't want them to sit on it. I don't know who lives now, but I saw a thin, dark blue blanket thrown on the bed. Who just came out of it? I went one step further and saw three photos. I don't know what stopped them. The glory is gone. I don't want to be near them. I quit after a while, turned off the light, and my mother looked at me coldly after a while. When dad was around, mom's face lost confidence and spirit. The room with balcony has the door open and the lights on, which is a bit messy. So is the living room, except that the expensive fruit I put on the table last time is missing. I think I dropped it when I went to the bathroom. Strangely, the delicious fishy smell disappeared. The room where mother used to live hasn't changed much. My things are there. I took a look, packed up and left. My aunt invited me to dinner very politely, saying that your uncle's bones are delicious, huh? I clearly smelled the fishy smell when I entered the door, but I didn't smell it again. My face is full of pride. They haven't lost anything. My mother also politely let me eat. She didn't leave me food, stuffed me with food, and sometimes gave it to me behind my father's back. Now I don't have to carry my father's back or give it to me, although I don't care, as if it was never her home. She has something to do. I went downstairs with my suitcase and walked out of the unit door. I looked back at the balcony. My mother called me from the balcony. I answered, but I couldn't see her. I can't see her again. I can't help crying. Every time I go to my mother's house, there is nothing else, but I will never be hungry. Nobody asked me to go last time. This time, hi! I remember my father was there the last time I went, but I didn't have time to eat. They gave me four bananas, and I didn't take them seriously. Now I feel precious! what can I do? If you can't get your mother, dump your uncle. Who will accompany mom? Better than a nanny, at least better for mom. Even if mom leaves first, dad will not be our home. Mom and dad are gone, and there is no home. Who knows Yang or something? Dad can't, we fight again, they don't want me to live in his house anymore, and they never scold me for leaving and let me move out! If I get angry again, I really have nowhere to go and have to go back to their home. My satisfaction is low, and I am glad that I am better than orphans. Of the five children, I have followed my father completely all my life. In the past, he was confident and picky in his eyes and lost his temper at home. But do you know when he will have lunch then? Fortunately, everyone tolerates him, and then if he loses his temper again, we can reunite at his house, even if the poor daughter-in-law and poor son-in-law we are looking for are tolerant, no! Not tolerance, but as a more noble guest than us. When I came to Beijing, I found that this place was only in my parents' home. During the months when my father came back from Beijing to work in Wuchang, his eyes were full of anger, and people who used to respect him no longer respected him. Especially during his serious illness medical insurance, Wu Minggui was even more incompetent. Dad managed it abruptly without any social relationship, and tens of thousands of medical expenses were generated every year. If he didn't do it, wouldn't his children also get it? When he did medical insurance for serious illness, my family moved to the vicinity of No.2 Middle School, which was very close to his place of work. He went back to Wuchang alone, but his mother didn't come back. Every time he comes back from work, he comes to my house for lunch. I was very angry. Once after he left, I was so angry that I used scissors to cut off all the snapdragon flowers in my family. Since then, the snapdragon has never blossomed again. Last time, according to my father, he stayed there for a long time, and my father was ill, so they had to do it. I was really ashamed at that time! I can't help him. I can't help him with big things. I can only take care of him in small things. No one is allowed to bully my dad. Later, my dad's eyes were filled with all kinds of hatred. He walked in Wuchang Street, crossed the crosswalk and even scolded the cars passing by him quickly. Wu Minggui said he was a little old-fashioned, and I understand his psychological gap with others. When he arrived in Beijing, his eyes were lonely and he didn't know what had happened. Later, my mother bullied my father with her son. His eyes are scared, angry, disbelieving, even like a thief. He attaches great importance to his son. At that time, he wanted to go to Qinhuangdao dental clinic in Wuchang, and he had already settled with Wu Shu. My mother strongly disagreed when she called in Beijing and even moved out of my old uncle. Dad didn't compromise, because his son said that if you go to Qinhuangdao, I will leave you alone. He said, I am old. However, leave him alone and take the lead in bullying him and set a bad example for his brothers-in-law. Old people have no shortcomings, but I have seen people with higher education bully their old people in front of outsiders, which is simply disrespectful to themselves. There was a woman in Wuchang who became a small official by being a mistress. First of all, she packed up her relatives and made others laugh. She hasn't been an official for long. I don't care whether my house is noisy or not. Wu Minggui went to work before returning to P5 this time, and had already left when he got home. Wu Yumeng said that her father came back from her family and was so angry that he was bullied by his brother and sister-in-law. I listened and smiled. This bear cake suddenly occurred to me that before my dad came back to P5, he told me that my brother and sister-in-law didn't know why all his meals were on the table and where they were. Dad said he made me cry. I scolded them that day, not for property, but for this tone, otherwise, I would get sick. Since he told me to break off the relationship, I suddenly woke up at night for a long time and reflected on myself. It was the darkest two years before Meng's college entrance examination. I didn't reflect, but I survived. He's amazing. He will abandon his parents, let alone me, as long as he becomes a little burden! Anyway, my father had cancer during that time, and most people with cancer were psychologically miserable for a period of time. When he decocts medicine, he must fry it in a porcelain casserole. He poured out steaming medicine juice angrily, and his hands trembled. . The scene seems to be yesterday. I looked distressed and didn't dare to go forward for fear of breaking the porcelain pot. I bought him an electric porcelain wok online, which can automatically produce juice without pouring it. I haven't had a chance to see what the frying pan I bought him is like. During that time, I rented a house and went out. According to my mother, it's not very easy to use and the capacity is not small, but I bought the biggest one. I also said that electricity is the most economical way to boil medicine with his gas. After moving out, I went back less often. Goodbye, dad. My eyes are much calmer and people are less picky, but my memory is poor. Every time I rushed over to please my mother, I was in a hurry. I'm really not used to it. At that time, he was thin and had a dark face. Later, Meng was going to take the postgraduate entrance examination, so I was busy going to his house, as if I didn't have time to look at him carefully. He called me and asked me to tell Minggui that the medical insurance bureau punched in the reimbursement of medical expenses. I can hear that he is financially relaxed and willing to travel with his mother. He no longer waits for his children to lead him, because he knows that he has played. Who knows, a few years ago, I thought he would live to be 78. He left so suddenly when I ignored him. I always thought he would spend his last days in a hospital bed. He was troublesome, but he didn't bother us when he left. Remember my father's life! In my eyes, my father's life, if I am still so worthless in the next life and can't spoil my father like a child, I will no longer be his child. I cried all the way back. The bus is very smooth. When I got home, the child had already cooked the meal. I can't eat it. I cried for a while. I told my children that when I get old, give me some dignity, at least don't say me in front of outsiders. Who let me have this poor problem? In the nursing home, I have seen too many eyes that I dare not please. There is only a glass door between our clinic and the nursing home, only 10 thousand.

My thoughts

Dad has passed away, and I don't have to suffer physical and mental torture, and I don't have to look at anyone's face anymore. It's also a relief. We must move on. Live not only for yourself, but also for your children, so be strong.

There is a pit on my ass, which was left when I was a child. Every time I touch it, I feel uncomfortable, so I don't touch it easily and even bypass the shower. There are many places in life that can't be touched. We will definitely think of dad intentionally or unintentionally, but we must learn to make our mood better quickly, because there are more important things than memories. When we get old, sit down and remember slowly. Dad often says: I miss you very much. At this time, he will be fine if he drinks milk. He will also be very pleased that we are doing well and no longer worry that we are not doing well. Time will solve everything, and we will grow old one day. When that day comes, our children grow up and stand on their own feet, which is good. Try to be yourself from today.

This group was originally used by our sisters to heal each other after losing their father, and was formed without the consent of all the sisters. Now that my father has rested in peace, we have returned to our respective lives, so we quit this group without the consent of our sisters and can continue to communicate at home in the future. I hope we can inherit Dad's indomitable spirit, for our own sake, and for not causing trouble or less trouble to our children, so that children can admire and miss him so much after we leave, live every moment now and look forward. I love you.

There is no right or wrong in the world, just to commemorate this unforgettable time. I dare not touch your past, so forgive me for not writing about you. I will always have you in my heart. I love you, Dad.