Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Grandpa and I

Grandpa and I

? I was born in a small county in Sichuan!

? For as long as I can remember, my mind was full of grandpa, scalpers and a few scattered chickens!

? Let's talk about grandpa first

? At present, I can only regain my memories when I was 7 years old. Before the age of 7, I was probably happy, so I soon forgot them!

? Grandpa is a hardworking man. He can grow vegetables! I can make brooms with sorghum stalks, weave summer sleeping mats, weave straw sandals, and make all kinds of toys that I like to play when I was a child, such as bamboo dragonflies! I often pester my grandfather and beg him to make all kinds of toys for me! Grandpa will make it for me when he is free. Don't mention how happy he was! I can play with some small toys made of bamboo scraps for a long time, and I won't throw them away until they are broken!

? The "market" in Sichuan town is very lively. Grandpa, like other farmers, will take woven straw sandals, sleeping mats, brooms and vegetables to sell in town. We should get ready to sell things and wash vegetables the night before. I was probably too busy to go to bed until zero. Before the cock crowed the next day, the dog was still curled up in the straw! Grandpa and I got up, cooked a big pot of noodles, ate it thinly and set off! Grandpa carried the pole and I carried the basket. The sound of frog cricket can't be found anymore. I'm flashing a flashlight in the back, and grandpa is in front! The shoulder pole crunched and flashed, and crashed into the town center, about 2 hours away from us!

? Grandpa told me that the market must be early, so that things can be sold quickly, and we can eat early after the sale. I am looking forward to this meal, because it is about once a week, and it is a restaurant! The taste is much more strange than the sweet potato rice, potato and pumpkin noodles at home! I didn't know until I grew up that the food in the restaurant was spicy and had a heavy taste! Eating too much is unhealthy. ) Especially every time I go to eat beef soup pot with my grandfather, the beef cackles. I always eat several bowls of rice. Probably hungry, too. After all, when I was seven years old, I walked with a small basket on my back for two hours. Here we are. It's almost 7 o'clock. It's sold out, probably after 9 o'clock. We get up at 4 o'clock in the morning to eat!

? In the soup pot, there are basically potatoes and beef lungs. The soup is red with some coriander floating on it. Beef Gege is actually steamed pork, which is a little hotter than its own cooking. Grandpa also eats a lot, but basically doesn't eat meat. He always uses soup for bibimbap. So every time after dinner! There is no soup. I won't eat soup until I go out to eat noodles now! I don't know why, what I learned as a child may be imitated when I grow up!

? After dinner, grandpa will take me to the bookstore!

Writing here, my heart can't help stinging! At that time, counterfeit money was really rampant! Grandpa suffered a big loss.

? Grandpa and I came to the bookstore door. There are many people in it, so we can only read the books on the shelf outside. Grandpa chose a book "300 Tang Poems" for me, saying that children should read more books before they grow up. They won't be as worthless as we are! When going to pay, Grandpa took a 50 yuan bill to the clerk, who looked at it several times, gave us an oblique look and called the manager. The manager said, Uncle, we don't accept your money. There is something wrong with it. What questions did grandpa ask at that time? They only said that you went to the bank for inspection. In fact, it probably means that money is fake. Take it to the bank and give it to the public! Grandpa put down the book and took my hand. The pace is very fast, and I feel dragged! When I came to the bank, the window staff asked: Where did this money come from? Grandpa said: this was given by an elder sister when she was selling vegetables in the morning. Alas, I didn't read it at that time. I gave her all the change, so she spent a few cents on a handful of vegetables. Grandpa said while patting his thigh in circles. I'm at a loss in the back. Keep your head down! My mind is blank! The staff comforted grandpa: next time, pay attention, you can earn it back when the money is gone! Don't worry about your health. Grandpa is very anxious and angry. But to no avail! The money was confiscated, and grandpa worked hard for a week, which can be said to be a month in vain! Save some money. Later, a small flashlight that can emit purple light was popular in the market, which was a sharp weapon for counterfeiting counterfeit money in that era. Grandpa bought one, too Since then, he has never received counterfeit money, but he often finds hundred-dollar bills (counterfeit money).

? Grandpa has severe bronchitis. Sometimes, he can hear his heavy and rapid breathing from far away. I often cough in the middle of the night, and when I cough, I will spit out thick sputum, which is often accompanied by bloodshot blood. This is also the terrible devil who later deprived him of his life.

? When I was a child, I was afraid of ghosts and would sleep with my relatives. I am no exception. I often sleep with my grandfather, who is tortured by illness and can't sleep over and over, so I let him tell me stories. Grandpa leaned over and touched my head, talking softly. ...

? Look at the story of Longtan (fairy tale-Sichuan folk)

? Once upon a time, there was a village and a single-parent family. A mother and two sons. The people in this family are poor, but hardworking and simple. My mother works late every day, farming during the day and sewing at night. My two sons are also very filial. They went up the mountain to collect medicines and sold them to old Chinese medicine practitioners to supplement their families!

On this day, the two brothers went up the mountain to collect herbs and found that one herb was particularly strong. The two brothers cut it with a sickle. The next day, they came here and found this herb growing again, still so strong. The two brothers want to know what happened. My brother also made excuses for this strange phenomenon, saying that yesterday was not this place, and my brother didn't believe it. So, the two brothers marked this place and cut the herbs! On the third day, the two brothers came here, and the herbs were still as lush as yesterday. The two brothers felt the coolness behind them and their hair stood up instantly. They are afraid, that kind of unknown mysterious power! Everyone is afraid. The younger brother said: there must be underground! Although the two brothers were afraid, they dug with hoes. They dug about half a meter deep and saw a rainbow of light radiating from the pit. My brother dug it out by hand and saw a milky white ball the size of a ping-pong ball, which gave off colorful light. Like thieves, the two brothers put it in their pockets and rushed home to show it to their mother. Two brothers ran home, and their mother was taking their soles. My brother carefully took the ball out of his pocket and put it on the table. But at this time, I don't know why the ball doesn't shine. My mother thought that the two children had never bought them any toys, and the children were so happy to find a beautiful bead. I felt guilty in my heart, so I said perfunctorily, it's really beautiful! You and your brother, you go and play, and then go home for dinner. Probably my brother noticed my mother's perfunctory, told her the whole story, and kept saying it was a treasure! Brother also echoed, saying that this will shine! The mother comforted the child and said: Although we are poor, we must be down-to-earth and not opportunistic. The two brothers were also stubborn, but they put the beads on the table and went out to play honestly. When they came home at night, the two brothers asked their mother where the beads were. My mother said that I saw him rolling around and putting them in the rice jar. The two brothers hurried to the rice jar. Wow, mom, why is our home so many meters? Mother heard the voice sitting on the ground, crying and saying, I often teach you to be down-to-earth and not to be opportunistic. How could you do such a thing! If anyone finds out, you will be killed. The mother cried sadly, but the two brothers were puzzled. The younger brother said, mom, aren't you always at home? The rice jar is next to you. We came back from the outside with nothing, let alone such a big jar of rice that we couldn't carry!

Mom, think about it. It's true. My brother put his hand into the rice and soon took it out, holding a bead in his hand and squeezing out a ray of light with his fist. Suddenly, his brother stretched out his hand all over the floor, and in an instant, the whole room was colorful. Rich and colorful. The younger brother said, I see, this is a treasure, which can be copied and planted. He is a "cash cow"

? Since then, the poor households in this village have gradually become rich. They are not only full, but also often send rice and meat to other people in the village. The whole village is grateful to their family. However, some people have questioned that her own land is only a little bit, and her man has been dead for so many years. Widows usually drag two children and have insufficient food. She borrows money everywhere to help people wash clothes and do needlework. Life is hard. How did you suddenly get rich and do something shameful, so everyone is going to find out at night. A group of people are hiding in the Woods. There are many people but they are sneaking around. It's late at night, some people yawn and some people slap mosquitoes. Said: nothing unusual, everyone go home. While the villagers were whispering, the small house gave off colorful lights. Although it looks dark outside, you can see a light source through the window. Mother and son are sitting around the table, and the villagers can't stand it. Curiosity drove them to kick the door open. Everyone looked at the money on the table, and a glowing ball probably understood. The villagers, who are simple and enthusiastic at ordinary times, pounce like hungry wolves. The younger brother reacted quickly, picked up the beads in one hand and swallowed them into his stomach. The villagers are still robbing money, and my brother and mother are pushed to the ground. At this time, my brother was all on fire. He kept saying that he was thirsty and hot and wanted to drink water. The villagers plundered all their money and began to pay attention to their younger brother. Some people suggest tying them up. Force them to hand over their treasure. So, mother, brother and younger brother were tied up. My brother is getting more and more wrong now. His body caught fire, antlers grew on his head, and his legs began to fuse. The villagers were dumbfounded at the change of his younger brother. He kept saying that he was thirsty, hot and wanted to drink water, just like a man with a fever talking in his sleep.

? There was a muffled thunder in the sky, and a flash of lightning passed through the roof and fell on my brother. The villagers fled in fear. Shout, monster, monster! My younger brother began to thicken and lengthen, his clothes were burnt and his body was covered with scales, and he changed from a humanoid to a dragon. Out of the broken house, hovering above the roof, a burst of Xiao Long, piercing the night sky. Woke up the sleeping village head, and the village head staggered to his feet and made a dash for the door. He saw fire and dragons, and looked at the noisy and embarrassed villagers everywhere. The village chief guessed that something had happened to the little widow's house, so he rushed to the two brothers' house and untied the rope of his mother and brother. When the dragon saw that his mother and brother were rescued, he spit out a big fire and burned several villagers. He rolled his huge body and plunged into the stream, and his mother and brother ran out. His mother shouted, son. When the dragon stopped, the nearby mountains and rivers began to sink, especially where the dragon stopped, it became a bottomless pool, and then began to swim forward. Mother shouted again, and the dragon stopped again. In this way, today's 28 Dragon Pool was formed!

? Every time I listen to this story, I fall asleep in the middle. I listened for days and nights before I fully realized it!

? When I was in junior high school, I began to stay in school and my family bought a house in the town. Parents are not around. I was quite rebellious at that time. I play games online, and my grades are not good. Whenever I meet my grandfather who sells vegetables in the street, I will avoid it and even don't want to say hello when I see him. I hate him very much. His morbid appearance made me lose face in front of my classmates, and I didn't pay attention to hygiene. I kept spitting everywhere. Bronchitis made it difficult for him to breathe. He sucked the air greedily and looked like a hungry ghost in hell. However, even though his three sons give him living expenses every month, 500 yuan still grows vegetables, weaves straw sandals and sells them in the market every day. The only difference is that it brings me fresh food every week! He also told me to save money and spend more time on my studies. I don't care what he said!

? In this way, grandpa and I have almost nothing in common!

? About the second day, the bad news of grandpa's death came!

? Grandpa left on a quiet and lonely night. I don't know how long he struggled at that time, and I don't know how many times he called the names of his children and grandchildren, but we didn't hear them.

? The next day, because she didn't open the door, the second grandma knocked at the door and pried it for a long time without responding. No one answered, and someone could be seen lying on the bed through the crack of the door. So the second daughter-in-law called grandpa's brothers and pried open the door. She found that grandpa was stiff and had no breathing and heartbeat. The whole scene is full of phlegm and blood! The forensic doctor arrived at the scene and was initially judged to have died of natural causes. The time is about 1 o'clock in the morning!

? After grandpa left, the house in our hometown was completely vacant and the whole family moved to town. My parents still work outside all the year round, I live alone, and I often go out at night, soak in Internet cafes and play video games! The grade class counted down and sang against the teacher. There is also a tendency to self-abuse. In front of the old man, I hit the wall with my fist and my hands were covered with blood! Because of this, the teacher hates me and doesn't care about me!

? Probably because I hate grandpa, the punishment brought by unfilial!

? I am 27 years old now, and I see the embarrassing days now. Without a high degree, I had to do a boring assembly line. Later, I didn't want to work the night shift, so I went to deliver takeout, and I was still so humble. It's getting restless. I was fearless, misled by marketing guru's poisoned chicken soup, and started a credit card business full of online loans. Due to my inexperience, my judgment is not good. Spending money without restraint, starting a business failed in just a few months, so I still owe hundreds of thousands of debts!

? Now I often miss my grandfather when I was a child, sleep with him and listen to his stories. Go to the market with grandpa and eat soup pot with grandpa!

? Life can start over. I must be down-to-earth and filial to grandpa.

? My life is still growing, my story is not over, and grandpa's spirit continues!