Psychologically speaking, people will pursue happiness and avoid pain. Why did ancient women in China bind their feet? Then pain is still included, and the power of faith is better than the power to e

Psychologically speaking, people will pursue happiness and avoid pain. Why did ancient women in China bind their feet? Then pain is still included, and the power of faith is better than the power to escape pain. Self-emotion Regulation and Fate Analysis

Most emotional troubles or mental illnesses are solved by themselves. Psychologists just give you a direction or advice. Whether you can get out of the predicament depends on the parties themselves. Many people who come to see a psychiatrist believe that once a relationship is established, the doctor will devote enthusiasm to helping the client out of the predicament, which is natural. Psychologists are more like a library. Where do you look for information? How to use this information is your own business, not this book. Maybe I belittle the role of the psychiatrist, but it will be more beneficial for the client to get rid of the myth about the psychiatrist.

Self-regulation has two levels, one is the conceptual level, and the other is the physical level. I prefer to adapt to the environment by changing my ideas. Here are three principles:

First, all pain is related to the conceptual system you choose. Change your mind, and your psychological pain will be fine. Why? Because our behavior, thoughts and desires are often limited by our own concept system, we can't live as we please, which leads to pain. For example, we appreciate beautiful women and openly express our love in the crowd. Once we are afraid of being called a lecherous, our open heart will be cast a shadow. If people can do their own things without taking responsibility and risk, there will be no trouble.

Second, all psychological pains are meaningful, and all experiences are important to life. Psychological pain is a necessary stage of self-growth. Since it is the trouble of growth, it must be solved by growth. If we understand that emotional pain is a natural state of human existence, happiness and sadness alternate, so do happiness and depression, thinking day and night. You can imagine emotional distress as an uninvited guest. Having guests at home will make you feel uncomfortable, so you can't be so casual. You should behave yourself when sitting and dressing, and there are taboos when speaking or doing things. But the guests will still leave, and it's not your home, so it's not that hard to think about it.

Third, culture has created the brilliance of human beings, and also created the survival dilemma of human beings. Culture turns the infinite world into a pole, makes the disorderly society orderly, separates animal people from nature and becomes well-behaved social people. According to the mainstream cultural model, everyone should be tailored to become an ordinary person, and need to remove personality and add * * * to meet cultural expectations. Just like Chekhov's The Man in the Condom, we are people who are forced into cultural condoms. You can't have no repressed pain in a condom. If you agree with this kind of pain, then the pain will no longer bother you, but become your resource. If you don't agree with the pain, hope it will disappear, or try to get rid of it quickly, then you have enlarged the pain.

There are many ways for the body to adjust itself. For thousands of years, people have been trying to gain greater self-control through cultivation. Practice is from body to heart, and then from heart to body. This is the secret of self-regulation or self-cultivation. Most scholars or writers often exaggerate some self-regulation function because of their own preferences, as if telling readers that as long as they persist, they can rearrange their thoughts and get rid of their troubles. In fact, there is no such way of self-regulation in this world, which has only advantages and no disadvantages. Just as easy running exercise may also cause knee joint wear, if you want to improve your body and mind through self-emotional adjustment, you must get rid of some superstitions and let people choose the way or degree of self-adjustment according to their own characteristics. Otherwise, the more you want to make progress, the more tired you are, and the effort is thankless. Just like the more I want to sleep, the more I can't sleep. The thought of going to bed excites my nerves.

Self-emotional regulation II

sports

What is exercise regulation?

A large number of studies show that exercise can relieve anxiety and depression. Modern people are more and more willing to spend money and time in the gym. Exercise: Running, playing ball, swimming and outfitting can really improve people's physical function, perception and control ability, increase blood circulation, adjust heart rate, increase oxygen content in the body, and make people's energy get a promotion in a short time. Emotional annoyance is a kind of negative energy that is difficult to release, and rhythmic exercise can release such energy through sweat. Similarly, when the brain is exhausted by psychological stress, exercise can divert people's attention from stress and give our poor brain a rest.

Question:

Although exercise has extensive benefits to people's psychology and mood, it is difficult for us to get a convincing explanation that exercise can improve mood. During exercise, muscle contraction, faster heart rate and deeper breathing will actually increase physical tension and emotional anxiety. Many people will feel uncomfortable for a long time after exercise, which is often counterproductive for those who want to clear their minds through morning running. If it really works, it may be the fresh air, not your fatigue after physical exercise. Exercise can also cause emotional excitement. Look at the violence on the football field or in the arena, and you will know that this statement is correct.

If you say that exercise increases tension, you can relax after tension. However, we soon found that exercise has raised the threshold for us to release anxiety, which is like the gate of a reservoir. We think of anxiety and trouble as water in a reservoir. Exercise opens the floodgate, letting anxiety flow away and the body will feel better. Unfortunately, this kind of gate has a characteristic, and it needs to be opened with more strength every time. That's why exercise regulation seems to have worked at first. A few more times, the body will lose its freshness, anxiety will not be released, people will return to emotional turmoil, and exercise therapy will slowly fail.

Not suitable for people: in fact, most people are not suitable for exercise to treat emotions. Exercise increases the burden on the heart, lungs and body, which is why athletes always have so many joint and muscle diseases, and they age quickly and live a short life. People who are easily excited exercise is a catalyst, and their emotions are more difficult to control. Studies have proved that people who love sports are also more aggressive.

Make good use of sports principles and jog.

Slow sports, such as Tai Ji Chuan, yoga, walking, gymnastics and jogging, are relatively effective. Many of our nervousness, anxiety, troubles and pressures are due to the fast-paced life. When we are nervous, our body rhythm will be accelerated, and slow activity may help improve the rhythm inside our body. So you don't have to run as hard as a stressed person, but you can jog and take a leisurely walk. Walking is actually a process of spiritual cultivation. If you ask yourself to walk only 200 meters in half an hour, your body, steps and thoughts will slow down and your mood will relax.

relax

What is relaxation?

Relaxation is to lie down and make your body and mind comfortable. Relaxation is the simplest of the simple techniques. There is a gradual relaxation method, which relaxes the body and mind from head to toe with relaxation hints. Relax breathing, consciously slow down breathing, concentrate on breathing, gradually forget breathing, and enter a state of no self, which is also the entry method of Qigong. If you have read Herbert Benson's Relaxation Reaction, you will know that relaxation needs five components:

1) quiet environment;

2) Being able to concentrate on something: sound, music, images, pictures and scenes;

3) Let nature take its course and don't care what you are doing;

4) The body is comfortable and stretched, and the muscle tension is minimized;

5) Take a deep breath slowly.

Relaxation reaction is actually a state of rest, just like fake sleep. This state slows down the metabolism of the human body and reduces the heart rate and oxygen consumption. Unfortunately, the result of many people's relaxation is that they feel more active in their brains, and many unpleasant old things will emerge. There are also many people, but it doesn't matter if you don't relax. Relaxation makes the somatosensory disappear, and the chaotic thoughts are more vivid.

Question:

It's almost hard to imagine anything more harmless than relaxation. But for some people, suppressing themselves, or being busy, can make them not think about some troubles, and can also avoid the troubles in their hearts. Relaxing at this time will cause problems. Everyone knows about retirement syndrome. It is precisely because of the disappearance and relaxation of stress that the body will not work. Relaxation leads to a kind of physical and mental magnanimity, and we have to face ourselves and exaggerate the repressed pain. This contradiction is that relaxation induces anxiety. Relaxation will lower your vigilance. In a relaxed state, you may be more sensitive to emotional experiences and psychologically more vulnerable. People have magical self-defense functions. They can escape their inner trauma by unconsciously distorting their experiences, tampering with their memories and rationalizing their pain. The result of relaxing at this time is to find your hidden problems, and you should deal with the released demons in a hurry before you are ready.

Not suitable for people: people who are worried, depressed, neurotic and sensitive are not suitable for relaxation; For people with poor sleep, relaxing fake sleep may make it more difficult to fall asleep at night; People who are lovelorn or have lost their loved ones should not do it. Pain will make your heart ache. It is best for such people to adjust their mood by focusing on something, an object, a scene, or going out to get rid of the sad environment.

Make good use of the relaxation principle, just be comfortable.

In fact, relaxation doesn't need complicated procedures, and you don't have to care too much about breathing. Paying too much attention to breathing will make people lose their sense of body. Some people think it is a feeling of no ego or nothingness, while others feel very scared. Maybe just sit and lie quietly, make yourself comfortable, and think whatever you want, as long as you don't let morality jump out and talk nonsense. Quiet activities, such as reading or making handicrafts, listening to soft music or natural sounds: waves, currents, wind colors and insects can also make many people feel relaxed, and regular walking is of course one of the ways to relax.

Self-emotional regulation 3

ponder

What is meditation:

Describe a field full of wild flowers with imagination; Listen to the sound of the waterfall; Kiss a blooming rose deeply; Floating on a quiet lake, hiding in a quiet mountain forest and so on. Meditation is when you use your imagination to adjust your body and mind. For most people, visual imagination is more vivid and powerful. Auditory imagination needs the induction of music. In fact, imagination mainly stimulates a kind of memory, especially the memory of the body, which is experience. Memories of physical experiences (tension, pain, happiness, panic ...) are not easy to forget, so some people say that most of the memories are stored in the skin, muscles and internal organs of the body, not the brain.

Meditation on a situation that has never been experienced is of little practical significance. Meditate on a person who has experienced and experienced, but has no deep physical or psychological memory: comfort, surprise, inner excitement, etc. It doesn't make much sense. Meditation is an awakening of memory experience. If a person is busy all his life and has no interest in nature, beauty or music, meditation therapy is almost casting pearls before swine.

Not suitable for the crowd: when people without good experience meditate, it is better to find a word or phrase they like and repeat it quietly, paying attention to the words they read and paying attention to its syllables, rather than understanding the meaning of the words themselves.

Make good use of the principle of meditation: remodeling memory

Instead of thinking hard, it is better to often recall some of your youth and happy things. Suppose you have a memory bank, open those memories related to positive experiences and reawaken those happiness, excitement, enjoyment, satisfaction and pride. Pack up the bad memories and put a seal on them. A good memory is a place where people often go. We should spend more time and use our leisure time to recall, strengthen and polish our memories. Memories should be updated from time to time, so I encourage people to exaggerate their past happy experiences and adjust themselves through imagination.

measure

What is meditation?

Meditation is a profound thought. Meditation may have the oldest history, which was developed in the early eastern religious beliefs. There are many similarities between meditation and prayer, both of which are spiritual cultivation and precipitation. Using meditation to regulate oneself can enhance self-awareness and self-identity, and manage and control emotions.

Meditation and relaxation have many similarities. Meditation and relaxation require a kind of mental concentration. The difference is that relaxation is to slowly hide the awareness of consciousness, while meditation is to gradually strengthen this awareness. By thinking about the same thing over and over again, you will feel enlightened until you are extremely poor. Paying attention to the present is the most important concept in meditation. Buddhism defines paying attention to the present as "keeping a positive awareness of the current real life". Paying attention to the present will not lead to the elegance of self-awareness, but only to the acceptance of pressure and emotion. Psychological self-regulation makes people feel that it points to getting rid of the distress of reality, which seems to be contradictory. In fact, the two are not contradictory. Repeated thinking will stimulate epiphany, and epiphany is also a more thorough way to get rid of, persist in, think wrongly and worry, which is emphasized by Buddhist practice.

Oriental culture likes to interpret meditation or meditation as meditation, pursuing a form, sitting posture and breathing form. The west pays less attention to the shape of the body and more attention to the direction of thought.

Question:

However, meditation is harmful to people who lack insight. Especially for patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is repeated thinking, but they can't realize the curse left behind. Increasing self-insight is an important technique to improve obsessive-compulsive symptoms. Doing a program in CCTV, facing a man who is struggling to turn off the door and gas every day, forcing him to repeat it 30 times each time, let him know the symptoms, and let his wife witness that he can repeat it ten times and eight times without getting bored and admire his ability.

Not suitable for the crowd: the best self-regulation for people with obsessive tendencies is to make mistakes on purpose. The source of compulsion is that they are afraid of making mistakes and being dirty, so they deliberately make mistakes and deliberately touch dirty objects and environments to desensitize their anxiety.

Make good use of the principle of meditation: pay attention to life

The best meditation is to pay attention to life and cry if you want. Laugh happily, bask in the sun when you are free, take a hot bath when you are busy, share more happiness with others and pay less attention to your troubles. Pay more attention to the simplest daily activities-walking, eating, talking, driving, reading, waiting, thinking, making love, planning, planting flowers, drinking water, remembering, seeing a doctor, writing, taking a nap, sightseeing, etc. And look forward to the future less, don't miss the past. Living in the present is the highest state of meditation.

autohypnosis

What is self-hypnosis?

What I want to talk about is not the kind of hypnosis that helps people enter a trance state under the guidance of a professional doctor, but all kinds of self-hypnosis. What is self-hypnosis? No matter how fast you get away from reality, you are using a kind of self-hypnosis. Drinking, having sex, fantasizing, exercising, reading attractive books, listening to good music and chatting with people are all trying to hypnotize themselves. Trouble needs a kind of awareness. What we do to reduce our awareness of worry and put ourselves in a painful trance is a kind of self-hypnosis.

Hypnosis often occurs naturally. Watching a movie, you get into the plot and lose your rational judgment. Listen to a person and slowly and unconditionally agree with the speaker; Listen to a piece of music to an obsessive state; Loving someone deeply is also unable to identify childish scams; The desire for money and power leads to a kind of personality madness, which is a kind of self-hypnosis, but pleasure and motivation are born from it.

Question:

Interestingly, pain, worry, sadness, inferiority, loss, defects, powerlessness also have the ability to hypnotize. People hypnotized by this kind of thing will get into trouble and never see the light again, even if it is sunny. Depression is the result of being hypnotized by this emotion. There seems to be a voice saying that you are just a burden ... suicide is the final result of self-hypnosis.

Self-hypnosis is not harmless. This state of consciousness is sometimes like "a blind man riding a blind horse and coming to a deep pool in the middle of the night". No matter how others persuade him, he is stubborn. For some violent people, self-hypnosis will regard violence as justice and murder as cleaning up social garbage. Stay awake, hypnotize yourself, open your third eye, and stay awake.

Not suitable for the crowd: people who are prone to violence and lack self-awareness should always be alert to themselves and do not use self-hypnosis to shape themselves into a very arrogant god. The best self-regulation is to exercise, release aggression on the court, ridicule opponents with victory, win the self-esteem you need inside, and relieve the anxiety caused by your sense of meaninglessness. This way of self-regulation is at least in harmony with the mainstream society.

Make good use of hypnosis principle

The most wonderful self-hypnosis is self-fantasy. Imagine yourself as the most charming, lovely, promising and capable person. Under the guidance of this self-hypnosis, you will gradually become such a person. A beautiful imagination of yourself is almost the easiest spiritual motivation to get, and it is also the least easily influenced, unless you don't want to give yourself the motivation to grow up at all.

patch

What is a slap?

There is a sequence of body slapping, generally starting from the head and face, with symmetrical slapping on both sides, with a little comfortable pain, followed by shoulders, upper arms, forearms, chest, abdomen, legs and feet. Flapping is the antonym of self-hypnosis. When people are in pain, they will lose their physical feelings and be in a blind trance. It is the fastest psychological intervention technique to restore self-control by slapping one's body to arouse one's feelings about the body. In severe emotional disorders, people often feel that consciousness and body are separated. How to call back the soul, beat the body and make yourself feel pain, and consciousness will get up and take charge of everything.

In the novel Arabian Nights, we see that many people who are too happy are whipped by servants or beautiful girls to alleviate their psychological pain. Physical pain contributes to the release of mental pain, which is the most wonderful phenomenon in the integration of body and mind. People who are lovelorn will torture themselves, and lovelorn is a kind of mental pain. Torture yourself, let the pain of the body release the pain of lovelorn. Not long ago, it was reported that a psychological research institute in the United States used whipping patients' buttocks to relieve depression, which was said to have miraculous effect.

When people are nervous, a sudden palm can awaken people from the state of being hypnotized by anxiety. Russians like to beat their bodies with towels when taking a bath, as if to wash, and it also helps to clean their hearts and emotions. People who have seen the film "The Red Scarf" must remember that when the heroine of the dance was overwhelmed by excessive tension, the theater owner slapped her in the face to make her forget her nervousness and jump out of the amazing dance. Of course, the slapping mentioned here is a popular physical therapy, aiming at arousing self-feeling and regaining control. The method is to pat the legs, face, shoulders and neck on both sides of the body step by step, rhythmically and appropriately, and the tension will slowly relax under such a pat.

Not suitable for people: Of course, the only bad thing about slapping is that people will think you are crazy when they don't know. Nervous people or people with mental disorders should get the understanding of their families before slapping, otherwise they will worry about you. On the other hand, in some cases, such as collective slapping, it may be mistaken for a cult practice and despised. Similarly, excessive slapping is similar to a kind of self-abuse, which is a kind of physical violence. Some people with serious emotional problems often use self-abuse instead of psychological pain. This kind of person should never slap, because you can't control the appropriate strength when slapping.

Make good use of the flapping principle: it feels good.

Sometimes, slapping is not really slapping, but using your consciousness to feel that you are sitting on the hip of the chair and touching the back of the chair. Or stand up against the wall and feel your back there, or stamp your feet, clap your hands, push the wall with your hands and feel your strength. This way can also arouse the body's feelings and awaken the mind hypnotized by troubles. Another popular way of slapping is massage, which is also a very important content in physical therapy to relieve psychological and emotional stress.

label

All self-psychological adjustment must meet the following two points: first, it is easy to master, the process is not complicated, and no equipment is needed. Second, it is convenient for people to do it at home, in the office or in their daily activities. True self-emotional regulation is an emotional balance. People can't always be happy and unhappy. Let the emotion be in a flowing state, pay attention to and experience its ups and downs, and enjoy it. If we like pain, pain is a kind of enjoyment. If we think that there is a more real meaning of life behind the pain, we will have a strong ability to endure the pain and have the greatest possibility to obtain useful resources from it. Of course, the painful experience is related to people's instinctive avoidance reaction, and accepting pain requires a high spiritual realm.

However, no matter how much self-adjustment efforts we make, anxiety, unhappiness and loss will not be alleviated. If you feel relieved, it is also a distraction and hypnosis. The key to self-regulation is to regain a kind of self-control. Under the feeling of self-control, the mind will fly and have the ability to choose freely. When we are upset, we still know that our hearts are happy and relaxed. As long as you have experienced it, happiness, satisfaction and relaxation are still there!

Knowing this, self-psychological adjustment becomes.

How to self-regulate mood?

People can't always be in a good mood. Since there are setbacks and troubles in life, there will be negative emotions. Psychologically mature people are not people without negative emotions, but people who are good at regulating their emotions. So, how to be good at adjusting and controlling your emotions?

One is consciousness control. When anger is about to erupt, we should control ourselves with consciousness, remind ourselves to be rational, and hint to ourselves: "Don't be angry, it will hurt our health". Educated people can generally control it.

The second is self-encouragement. Comfort yourself with some philosophies or famous sayings and encourage yourself to fight against pain and adversity. Self-entertainment will make you feel better.

The third is language adjustment. Language is a powerful tool to influence emotions. If you are sad, reciting interesting sentences can eliminate your sadness. Self-reminding, self-directing and self-suggestion such as "controlling anger", "forbearing" and "calming down" can also adjust one's emotions.

The fourth is environmental constraints. Environment plays an important role in regulating and restricting emotions. When you are depressed, taking a walk outside can play a regulatory role. When you are in a bad mood, playing games in the casino will relieve your anxiety. When you are worried, the best way is to watch funny movies.

The fifth is comfort. When a person pursues a certain goal and fails to achieve it, in order to reduce his inner disappointment, he can find a reason to comfort himself, just as a fox says grapes are sour when he can't eat them. This is not self-deception, but it is very beneficial as a way to relieve emotions occasionally.

The sixth is transfer. When the anger rises, consciously changing the subject or doing something else to distract attention can relieve the mood. Playing ball games, walking and listening to pop music also help to transfer unpleasant emotions.

Seventh, vent. When you encounter unpleasant things and grievances, don't bury them in your heart, but tell your close friends or relatives or cry. This kind of venting can release the bad feelings of inner stagnation, which is conducive to maintaining physical and mental health, but the object, place, occasion and way of venting should be appropriate to avoid hurting others.

Eight is humor. Humor is a special emotional expression and a tool for people to adapt to the environment. Having a sense of humor can keep a positive and optimistic attitude towards life. Many seemingly annoying things, handled in a humorous way, can often make people's unpleasant emotions disappear and become relaxed immediately.

Nine is to walk into nature. Nature's uncanny workmanship can often shock people. Climbing mountains will make you feel open-minded. Looking at the sea, you will feel detached. When you walk into the forest, you will feel that everything is so fresh. This kind of affection is often an inducer of good mood.

Only by climbing to the top of the mountain can you see the scenery there.