If others smoke, they will only give you a lift. What can I do to avoid embarrassment?

The four of us were having dinner when suddenly a new friend came. He smokes for three other people, but not for me. But I made a gesture later, which not only avoided my embarrassment, but also made him lose face.

Last year in 65438+February, one of my high school classmates (Brother Yang) came to Shenzhen to play. I thought that as the owner, I should do my best as a landlord, so I planned to invite him to dinner to catch up with this old classmate who I haven't seen for a long time and get in touch with my feelings.

Because there are two other high school students in Shenzhen, I invited them to have dinner at a grilled fish shop in Futian with my classmates who came to Shenzhen that Sunday afternoon.

On Sunday afternoon, I met three classmates in Futian, and then went to the reserved grilled fish shop to find a table for four and sat down. When ordering, I told them that this meal was on me, and it was not easy for Yang Ge to come to Shenzhen. Today, the four of us have a good drink.

Then two other students said that they didn't want to invite three students from Shenzhen to invite Yang Ge. I said, "Nothing, my salary is higher than yours. I can invite you to dinner. As far as our relationship is concerned, let's talk about AA system. If you really feel embarrassed, please invite me next time. "

When they heard me say this, they couldn't think of anything to refute, so they had to give up and let me sit alone and treat them. Then we began to order. I ordered a grilled fish at 168, and then they ordered other dishes. They also ordered five or six side dishes, and then ordered several bottles of beer.

After the food was served, we had a drink together to celebrate the reunion of the four of us, and then we started chatting. I asked Yang Ge what it was like to be a civil servant in his hometown. He said yes. That's it anyway. There is no pressure at work, but the salary is not high and there is enough to eat and use. Moreover, his family bought all these houses for him, and he didn't have any pressure. This time he just wants to take time to come to Shenzhen to experience the prosperity of big cities.

Then I recommended some places suitable for him to play in Shenzhen, saying that the window of the world, Lotus Mountain and Shenzhen Bay should all be visited. If we have enough time, we can visit the greenhouse where the scenery is better. He listened to my words and nodded in agreement.

After eating for a while, Yang Ge's phone rang. One of his college classmates called him and asked him where he was. He said that he was having dinner with friends at a grilled fish shop in Futian. Then his college classmates said that they would also come over for dinner. I haven't seen you for a long time. I just had time to meet you that day, otherwise I wouldn't have time to go to work on Monday.

When Yang Ge called, I probably heard the conversation between him and his college classmates, so I said directly to Yang Ge, "Please ask him to come over. We can wait for him to finish eating later. " When Yang Ge heard me say this, he directly told his college classmates our address and asked him to take a taxi.

Twenty minutes later, his college classmates came, nearly 170, wearing a black jacket, a buzz cut and a pair of black-rimmed glasses. Seeing him coming, we immediately asked the waiter to add us a stool and a pair of chopsticks, and then motioned him to sit down.

He went to the table, and before he sat down, he took out a box of "Double Happiness" cigarettes from his pocket, ready to smoke, first lit Yang's cigarette, and then gave it to two other students. Because I was sitting in the corner, it was understandable that he finally gave me a cigarette, but I don't know what happened. While I was waiting to collect the cigarette he handed me, he gave it to two other students, put it in his pocket, gave it up, and sat down to prepare for dinner.

I felt embarrassed at the time. All three of them received his cigarettes, except me. Then when they all lit cigarettes, I watched all three of them smoke, so I took one of my Andy's pants and smoked it. By the way, I asked Brother Yang, is my Andy a heavy smoker or his double happiness a heavy smoker?

Brother Yang also said openly, "I'm sure Andy smokes a lot." At that time, his college classmates suddenly changed their faces when they heard this. They took two sips of the cigarette they were smoking and threw it on the ground, embarrassed to smoke again.

What needs to be explained here is that when I first met with Yang Ge and two other students, I gave them my doll and lit it on the spot. At dinner, we were going to just drink and quit smoking, but his college classmates came and smoked again.

After that, we just ate and chatted normally, and I didn't give my Andy to Yang Ge's college classmates again. He threw away his cigarette without smoking a few mouthfuls, so I let him watch us smoke.

When eating, I basically don't chat with Yang Ge's college classmates. At most, I just echo a few words. It's basically young talking to him. While Yang Ge was chatting with his college classmates, I was chatting with two other classmates. Brother Yang stopped talking, so I went up to chat with him.

After dinner, I still pay the bill as usual. After all, it's my treat, and I can't go back on my word easily. As for young's college classmate, I don't mind him coming to dinner. But I can clearly feel that he didn't enjoy his meal, probably because he lost face by smoking.

From Yang Ge's chat with him, we can know that he doesn't get along well, but judging from his words and deeds, it is normal to get along badly. I really don't know what he thinks of such an embarrassing scene, because such a scene of rubbing friends' rice.

Others smoke but don't send you. They are usually the following two types of people.

The first kind of people, that is, people with low emotional intelligence, know nothing about the world. Some cigarettes were sent to you when they were gone, so they were not sent. Some cigarettes were not sent to you, but you were forgotten. Whether the cigarette is gone or you are forgotten, it is a sign of low emotional intelligence. They don't know that smoking in public places is seriously related to the face of others, but not smoking for others is disrespectful to others. Whether in the workplace or in society, these two kinds of people will not get along well.

The second kind of person is someone who suspects hostility to you. They just look down on you and give you no face. Such people don't give you cigarettes on purpose. They look down on you, full of contempt or provocation. If we can't afford to offend such a person, we'd better stay away from him and cut off all contact with him.

Why not be embarrassed when you meet someone who doesn't smoke?

In this case, many people may take a more extreme approach, either questioning each other on the spot or swallowing up, but this is not a good way to deal with it. Questioning each other on the spot will not only offend people, but also make them look low in emotional intelligence, so pay attention to the details. And submit to humiliation, can only make yourself lose face in vain.

What's the best way? If you have a cigarette, take it out and smoke it. If your cigarette is better than the other person's, it will make the other person look humiliated. At this time, if the other party loses face, you can't blame him. He has only himself to blame. He is unreasonable.

What if you have no cigarette in your hand? If the other person is an acquaintance, say to him, "Brother, you know me best and know that I don't smoke." Or "Brother, you know me best and know that I quit smoking." If the other person is a stranger, say to the other person, "I didn't expect you to know me so well and know that I don't smoke."

By following the above two steps, you can avoid embarrassment.

Concluding remarks

In short, when we meet people who smoke, we should not make ourselves angry. No matter whether the other person is low in emotional intelligence or secretly hostile, we should not submit to humiliation, which will only make us more embarrassed and lose face in vain. Of course, you can't take extreme measures to denounce others for being impolite. But to help you save face euphemistically.

There are only six people standing here, and he wants to take out five cigarettes. What do you mean?

He didn't dare to give me this cigarette, so good, then you wait, I will definitely give you a hard time, and I will definitely get back at you. Who told you to look down on me first?

If you really have such a performance, even when others hand out all the cigarettes and don't give them to yourself at first sight, you drop your mobile phone on the ground without saying a word and then point it at others' noses, then congratulations, you have simply become a joke in the workplace.

Others think: it's just distributing cigarettes. Don't give it to me, don't give it to me. I'm not good at it anyway. This idea, if dealing with people in the workplace, may have a good relationship, but it is only so. Because this honest character will be accompanied by you flinching again and again and losing all the opportunities. Please note that I am talking about all the opportunities.

What I fear most these days is not widowhood but inequality. Everyone has it. Why don't I? Nobody has it, so it can't be. When countless people have this idea, how to divide this cigarette? I haven't tasted the sweetness, and people may not think about it, but if everyone else tastes the sweetness except me, and I am an exception, then at this time, we will start to think more.

In this case, we suggest to analyze the specific situation first, and we must find out why the other party does not give himself a cigarette.

In the first case, the other person is a careless person. We often encounter this situation in the workplace. No matter what the reason is, no matter what he does, he simply does bad things with good intentions. He does one thing today and another tomorrow. On the surface, he seems to have made a lot of contributions to the company and is very active in dealing with people, but he is always careless, not only careless, but also careless.

A file has to go back and forth five or six hundred and seventy-eight times. I have a meal, either my mobile phone or my wallet is lost. I occasionally meet my colleagues and forget whether I have to complete any tasks before I meet them. In a word, he can't hold anything in his mind, and he always does whatever he wants when dealing with some things.

It means nothing to him. The boss of the company has a headache when he sees him, and all his colleagues in the company stay away from him. So it is a great achievement that this kind of person can still think of taking a pack of cigarettes and a lighter when he goes out, and you don't need to ask him for anything.

It doesn't matter that he gave bituminous coal to his colleagues around him and didn't give you cigarettes. At best, it only means that he has forgotten you. Although it sounds harsh, considering his personal state, it seems to be a very normal thing.

After all, this belongs to the company's pure carelessness, weakness and failure, as long as he doesn't make trouble for himself, that's thank God. As for how to divide this cigarette, it doesn't matter to us who he gives it to or who he doesn't want to give it to.

In the second case, the other party is hostile and makes it clear that they will not smoke for themselves. In this case, we should put out the fire first. We need to be clear, why does the other party give itself hostility? If the other person is a sinister villain, it doesn't matter. Just take this opportunity to sever all contact with him.

But what if the other person just has a purpose, aiming at himself? Then this matter becomes extremely dangerous. Where is the danger? The danger is that he may regard us as imaginary enemies. Then it's time to think about it. Have we ever offended him on the job?

If you have offended him, under what circumstances did you offend him? Under special circumstances, did you give smoke to other colleagues in the company and let him go? Did he make a mistake before, which caused him to hold a grudge, and it was precisely because of this that this behavior was caused?

If this is the case, then I must correct my attitude at the first time, which is nothing more than apologizing to him, because it is often difficult for me to know what I did wrong and when I offended my colleagues.

But we only know that offending this person is a great misfortune in our workplace.

In the third case, the person who smokes is the leader. If the smoker is a leader, be careful. Nine times out of ten, you are targeted by the whole company. Why?

A leader may not know how well-connected he is or how skilled he is. We have to admit that some people become leaders through the back door based on relationships, but almost all leaders will act according to people's glances, and almost all of them can handle things from a relatively fair or objective perspective.

He can't do things in a watertight way, but he is at least twice as tall as most employees.

Therefore, if your company leaders have a hard time with you, you should be careful, and it is likely to bring you some fetters, including but not limited to promotion and salary increase. You can't get the year-end bonus, when to ask for leave and so on.

If you really encounter such a situation, you can't say that you have a little back. I can only say that drinking cold water will get stuck. Take the time to ride a donkey and find a horse to find a home, and then jump ship is the best policy.

Interesting workplace issues I don't know if you have heard such an interview question, which should be a particularly hot topic three or five years ago:

You have three apples in your hand and five bosses at the same time. How do you divide these three apples?

Holding three bottles of drinks in hand, four bosses came face to face. How do you distribute drinks?

You have three benches and five leaders at the same time. How to divide these benches?

After hearing this topic before, I felt completely at a loss. The boss asked this question just to spite me. They won't be satisfied with my answer, so I'd better not answer. Such questions have ruined most job seekers, which is more or less inappropriate.

But when we discuss this issue, it is not difficult to find that it belongs to the problem of workplace inequality.

The most effective solution When this happens, we should control our emotions in step 1, no matter whether the other person suddenly forgets himself or for some special reasons, the other person is aiming at himself and just doesn't want to give us cigarettes. In any case, you must first control your emotions.

If a person can't even manage his emotions, it is difficult for him to become a leader in the workplace. If he feels really embarrassed, then look in his pocket for cigarettes.

If you have a cigarette, light it for him. First of all, remind this colleague that you didn't give me a cigarette today. Second, I have to tell you that I smoke, too. The third and most important point. At least let colleagues who didn't give themselves cigarettes know that they were wrong.

But what if there is no cigarette in your pocket and you just can't smoke? Finally, let's add: Alas, this colleague knows me and knows that I quit smoking early and don't smoke.

Then someone asked, must this be pointed out? I just turned my head and left when this happened, didn't I?

Of course not. If you leave without saying a word, or without saying a word, it is easy to give people a misunderstanding. This misunderstanding is that you keep this matter in mind, and you are likely to get back at him or you two have problems.

Instead, make fun of it generously. In any case, it is also a good choice for us to show our mind by teasing.

So, friends, what will you do if your colleagues dump you next time and don't give you a cigarette? Welcome everyone to leave a message in the comments section.

In today's society, courtesy is reciprocal and the world is worldly. On many occasions, smoking is inseparable. It is also polite to have a cigarette when you meet an acquaintance. If you smoke for others, you will be left out. This situation is really embarrassing, really embarrassing. Besides, so many people are watching you here. In order to ease the embarrassment, if you smoke, take out one and make him feel uncomfortable. And there can be no emotions on the surface, even if you are unhappy, you can't show it on your face. Smile and reflect in your mind. Did you offend this person at ordinary times, or did you have any holiday disputes? If not, you should be open-minded. It's your duty to give you a cigarette, not to give you a cigarette, so don't haggle over every ounce, but at this time, you can also take it out.

This happened to me two days ago. Look what I did!

I am an amateur. I was talking to the leader of the unit that day when suddenly the second in command came in. So we changed the subject and chatted. That guy didn't even notice. He sat down opposite the boss, took out a cigarette while talking about work, dumped one on the boss's desk, and then lit one himself.

I know, this guy is crazy, but he didn't see me? In fact, although he is a leader, I have never regarded him as a leader. Maybe he can detect it on purpose, too I didn't pick up the cigarette butts thrown by my second child. I stood up slowly from the sofa, took out a cigarette from my pocket and handed it to my boss. Then I took out my lighter and lit it for my boss. Finally, I lit one myself. The cigarette butt thrown by the second child is still lying alone on the table. I glanced at my penis out of the corner of my eye, and he said, "I k, I forgot …" (in fact, he meant sorry for not giving me a cigarette [covering my face]). In fact, everyone knows what happened, and I didn't speak. I just smiled at him and sat back. Then I talked to my boss about some unimportant things at work. He didn't leave after smoking. The boss hinted at him several times to implement it quickly. The guy couldn't hear what it meant. He is always inseparable from the stool. Finally, the boss got impatient. "Well, go to busy. Let's talk about something! " The guy let out a whoop of "Oh" and left despondently. I know, it's fucking cool! My heart was filled with joy, and I said, "This guy is so far-sighted, so sad." But he pretended as if nothing had happened and smiled ... [cover your face] [cover your face] [cover your face] [cover your face], which killed me.

I am very interested in answering this question. "When we get together, everyone smokes for others, not for you." It's really embarrassing. Except for one percent carelessness, I ignore you, intentionally embarrass you, and consciously make you angry in front of everyone. In my opinion, smokers belong to villains. It is one's basic etiquette to propose a toast to every guest present. There is always a scheming person, not ignorant, but deliberately embarrassing you in front of everyone with ulterior motives. He looks down on you. He can't see you. How much hatred do you usually have? How could your relationship be lost to a trivial cigarette?

It can be seen how insidious and cunning this person is and how haggle over every ounce when dealing with people. Why do you care about a cigarette? In fact, what really matters is not a cigarette, but a matter of self-esteem and face. Who in the world doesn't care about face and deliberately hurts your self-esteem and face in public? Can such a person still be friends? Or your own relatives? Is it still worth dating? Perhaps because of a small cigarette, what will it look like when there is a big conflict of interests? What is the touchstone of subtle feelings between people, and how can we really understand a person? It's all reflected in some small things. Moreover, a few people can do it without losing face. Although cigarettes are small, the problem of reaction is not small. People who replace the pain and anger of others with their own happiness and satisfaction are looked down upon. They are people with distorted personality and psychology, and even more insidious villains. They despise such people and will be quieter if they leave.

In this case, you can be indifferent and don't have to take it to heart. He may ask you to stop next time. You should be glad to see a person's face clearly and have a good look at your relationship with him. This insidious little man is always thinking about how to calculate others. As long as there is a little gap, he is thinking about how to make others unhappy, how to hurt others, how to satisfy his hypocritical and selfish heart, and how to be jealous and selfish. You will feel that you are acting and tired when you associate with such people. In reality, this kind of person is not absent, his actions have been shown, and he is still a heartless person. You can also break up with him, stay away from him and each other.

But there is one thing I don't understand. Have you ever treated others like this when dealing with people and people? He will repay you in this way, or maybe you need to reflect on yourself.

This boy didn't realize his dream of being a soldier, but I don't know if he did, because I haven't been to the recruitment office since then.

However, I got the notoriety of a cigarette in the circle. The minister who owes me a cigarette is said to have broken up with his old comrade-in-arms. At the end of the year, he became the deputy head, and there has been no intersection since then.

Frankly speaking, it's really not revenge for a cigarette. One is that I'm really not that cheap, and the other is that I'm not that cheap, even though I was very, very angry within a day or two afterwards.

Note: This story is absolutely true. I've dealt with the people, time and place. Please don't sit in the right place in reality. If there is any similarity, this answer is harmless. Please let go. thank you

Buy a better bag than him before sending it, but don't send it to him.

That's perfect. I don't like smoking either. If I am allowed to smoke, I will feel blindfolded, dizzy and untenable.

Others smoke, but they don't send it to me. This is the meaning of loyalty to me. There is nothing embarrassing. I express my heartfelt thanks. [Smile] [Shake hands] [Bow]

When such a thing happens, it happens in the "chess room"; Just for a cigarette, fighting.

There is a mantra when handing out cigarettes: don't separate alcohol from tobacco. No one will blame you if you smoke in public. That is your freedom; If you pass a cigarette in public, you will only not send one person; Obviously look down on people. Just bear it and it will pass. If he can't bear it, there will be unnecessary misunderstanding. You must pay attention to smoking in public places. A cigarette is not worth a few pence. If you do, it will happen often.

For example:

20 15 a chess room in the afternoon

When Lao Zhang was playing mahjong, he took out his cigarette and saw someone smoking, but a card-watching "Pan Mou" didn't give him a cigarette. Everyone knew each other, and Lao Pan was also very proud. When such a thing happened, he was angry; Just ask Lao Zhang what this means. Do you smoke like this?

Lao Zhang smiled and said nothing. ...

Lao Pan lifted the chess table and scolded: Fuck you, I'll let you play.

In this way, Lao Zhang stood up and said, if I don't give you a cigarette, I just look down on you. ...

Lao Pan said: I won't smoke your cigarette, but I will beat you up so that you can learn to be a man in the future. ...

In this way, the fight broke out. Fortunately, everyone stopped the fight and pulled the two people away to prevent things from continuing. ...

Dispersed

From then on, Lao Zhang never came to the chess room to play mahjong again; Because all the people present at this time criticized him for doing something wrong, all of whom were known in the neighborhood and all of whom were adults with children; You shouldn't do such a stupid thing. ...

When Lao Pan's anger subsided, he pointed to Lao Zhang and said, What you did is too hurtful. Don't come to play cards in the future. If you dare to come, I'll call the police station and arrest you. ...

Because they always win or lose hundreds of dollars playing mahjong, which belongs to gambling.

If you can do grade one, I can also do grade five; I won't let you play.

Really, Lao Zhang hasn't set foot in the chess room since then.

Stay on the side of being a man and doing things for later discussion; Never be conceited and look down on others; Maybe, how did he die ...

Little things that don't have the heart to get into trouble, are there still few things happening in society?

A true story happened in the chess room next to our shop.

It's not that you are embarrassed, it's that others are embarrassed. It's really impolite not to send you cigarettes. To put it bluntly, I look down on you. Under such circumstances, educated people just don't pay attention to such things. They want to take them out of their pockets. People learn to be patient when they are not equal, and they don't mix well. Don't idle in inappropriate circles. You know, you are not qualified to enter other people's circles now, as long as you are strong that day! Everything will come naturally. If you have money, you don't have to go around to prove that you have money. It is really best to be quiet and not arrogant. Live your own life and be content.