How to help children regain their confidence after losing the game?

Last weekend, the eldest daughter just participated in her June-June 17-year-old European Youth Team Sabre Hungarian Round Robin. The competition is divided into team competition and individual competition on Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday, her daughter's British team A narrowly beat Ukraine's team A, but still got the seventh good result. However, in the individual group competition of 202 female players from 26 countries on Sunday, one hour after the start of the competition, her daughter was directly out with a score of 1 win and 6 losses, and she missed the promotion.

The eldest daughter took part in the competition as a member of the British team A, ranking fourth in the British women's individual competition. This is the first time she has participated in an international competition in a non-British country. It can be said that the coach has certain expectations for himself.

After she came down, her eyes were red and she kept wiping her tears with gloves. Her coach looked heavy and whispered to me, "I'm disappointed." I've never seen her compete like this. When it's fast, it's unhappy, and when it's slow, it's not slow. The rhythm is completely wrong. It is not her level at all. "

At that moment, of course, I was disappointed and surprised, but I was more concerned about my daughter's mood. Hug her gently and pat her on the back slowly: "It doesn't matter, if you lose, you lose." Let her cry for a while.

Silently wiping away tears for a long time, she said, "Come back next year." At this time, I knew that she had begun to resist this failure.

Support drama, not just parents singing.

Continuing to appease her, I went to talk to the coach, because I could see that the coach was also depressed at that moment.

I asked the coach, "Don't you think this just exposed her shortcoming: the 5-point match in the group stage is not tough enough to fight?" It used to be a domestic competition. Because she is familiar with her opponents and confident in her own strength, it doesn't matter if the team doesn't play well. She is in the top 64 and top 32 15, so she has a good chance to win back. Besides, her personality is like this. She likes to take the lead and try to grasp the overall situation. So when she meets an opponent, she is used to letting him attack first, then defending herself and fighting back, and winning with different skills. This fitness level is similar to or lower than her. In international competitions, if there is no momentum, the opponent will have a great opportunity to guide and control the audience, and she will lose more and more, which will affect her judgment and play. Unless the skill is much higher than the opponent, this habit is very unfavorable for the team to score 5 points. "

The coach nodded frequently. "Yes, she needs to hone in this respect, be more aggressive and decisive." Looking at the ranking on the day when I spoke to the coach, the coach asked, "Are you sure? This is not her best result. "

I smiled, felt his reluctance, and replied, "Of course, isn't that her achievement?" He paused and nodded. "Yes, I had this moment when I was an athlete." He also listed the names of several outstanding British swordsmen we all know, saying that they also had their lows.

I think the coach had abandoned all kinds of bad emotions and looked at them more calmly.

Because of the authority and professionalism of the coach, and because of his daughter's respect for him, a coach who is willing to fully support him is actually very important to his daughter at this time. Children who grew up in England are really rational and emotional. For adolescent daughters, playing emotional cards seems to be far from enough. She prefers a point of view independent of her parents. At this time, if other parties and parents agree, it is easier to get the approval of children.

Let the emotions vent first, and then control them.

I went back to my daughter and saw that she had calmed down and continued to watch the game. I don't want the environment to affect her, but I still ask, "OK? Do you want to leave? Anyway, there is still time in the afternoon. We can go to see the city or go back to the hotel. " She replied, "Nothing, I still want to see it."

I accompanied her to the stadium one by one, and deliberately said a bunch of "discouraged" words: "Fencing is not everything to us anyway, so I won't watch it today. Budapest, Hungary is particularly beautiful. It's 25 minutes' journey from this train. Let's go to see the scenery and eat cakes. "

In fact, these words were deliberately said in her heart, probably "giving up on herself". It didn't take long for her to say "I'm bored to death": "Mom, don't disturb me to watch the game, there are other English girls in it."

Well, everyone is in the mood to care about this, as if they have climbed out of themselves. Not venting your emotions is not good for your health, but if you feel too sorry for yourself, or even anesthetize yourself, it is not a balanced way.

Now that she can control her emotions, ask her what happened today. At that time, she was actually a little confused, that is to say, she felt that her opponent was fast or chaotic, and the referee was very strange. (The referee gave her two yellow cards on the spot, 1 red card. Although I didn't give her any, it definitely had a great influence on her. Her swordsmen should be a little afraid of "hitting the line", so I don't know what to do, and I played in a big mess.

"It doesn't matter now, my mother has recorded it, and I'll watch it when it's not chaotic in the future. Fencing has been going on for almost five years. You've never played like this, have you? But don't you think that's a good thing? The worst part is this. Even if you go to the World Cup, you won't win at most. The final result is no different from today. " She nodded.

Then I said, "Do you know what I like best about the bottom of the valley? But everything will go up in the future. I have seen the lowest valley and I am still afraid. " She continued to nod.

In the afternoon, I accompanied her to watch the game, cheered for the British men's team and watched the semi-finals and finals of the women's team. The injuries suffered during sports can actually be found in the charm of sports, which is her favorite sport.

Review the analysis and find the greatest value lost.

At dinner in the evening, the coach named his daughter to talk about his thoughts on the game and put forward his own views. I can see that my daughter has returned to her usual state.

I talked to her about three examples and the results of the day. The most famous British JE, who ranked second in men's sabre, only won the 30th place in this competition, and now has fallen to the 5th place in China. You also saw his performance in the league, so will today be his unlucky day? The ups and downs of athletes' competitions are normal, and everyone wants to avoid them as much as possible, but they can't. The female player behind you, PH, won 4 wins and 3 losses in this group, and finally ranked 60 in front of you. If you play like her, it is estimated that the coach and you will be a little satisfied, but in fact, you still didn't get points in this competition, and now the domestic ranking is still behind you. You are satisfied. Will your shortcomings be covered up this time? So, losing in the end is a good thing, right? ! The coach said that among the top four, LM was the one he didn't like the most, because she only had two moves, and the team might play well, but if she played 15, she would be immediately analyzed by a strong player and then stopped. Shouldn't we learn from her five-point play? These five points are still very effective whether it is a team or an individual.

She was also completely immersed in the "technical discussion", taking Liu Yiwen, the champion of the day, as an example to analyze five points. Liu Yiwen is the new champion of women's sabre in this year's World Youth Fencing Championships. That night, she fell behind the Russian player 0: 5 and ended the first half with 8: 6. In the end, she won the championship cleanly with 15: 7.

The boss said that he could see that the Russian coach was very experienced and stopped Liu at once, but Liu's strength surpassed the opponent's, especially in the second half, he suddenly adjusted his rhythm and completely knocked the opponent out. Russian players often go back to the coach for help, which is basically a state of giving up. Therefore, when the strength exceeds the opponent, the first few points can be ignored, and I don't have such good strength, so I must play every point carefully, especially aggressive, in order to achieve results in international competitions. This time, half of our players were brushed off in the first round, which was too aggressive.

But this time I felt the feeling of failure. What a shame. I won't do it again.

That's right, little girl. If you don't play to your due level, you should shed tears and regret it. But finding mistakes and learning from failures is the real growth. Although, mom is sure that you will taste failure again. But so what.