If the daughter can't do these three things, don't ask her mother to help with the children.

Recently, my friends have been outspoken. She and her mother didn't make a big deal when they were young, and now her mother comes to help with the children, and they almost turn against each other. If they disagree, they complain to each other. My friend is really helpless.

Why does your mother come to help with the children?

The most direct reason is that I can't bear to see my daughter work hard. Although the children belong to both husband and wife, women in the family are born with several times more responsibilities and obligations than men, and the hardships they suffer are also doubled. If the man's family refuses to bring a baby, it is bound to require his daughter to sacrifice more; If the young couple pay for a nanny themselves, they will spend money first, and then the family will not be at ease; Grandma was reasonable, so she simply used her time to help her daughter and son-in-law reduce the burden on the young couple as much as possible.

Every mother helps to look after her children with good intentions. At first, her daughter must be grateful and guilty. There are still many daughters who secretly swear in their hearts that they must remember their mother's help in the snow at this time and be filial when their mother is old.

But the truth is, don't wait until your mother is old to be filial. Before she is old, her daughter can't help quarreling with her mother. Why does the conflict between mother and daughter increase when the mother helps to look after the children?

First, say what you want to say.

If it is a mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law will rarely point out anything wrong with her mother-in-law without paying attention to her way of speaking. More often, she will let her husband be a setter. But there is nothing to hide from your mother. It is passed around. In the long run, you can say whatever you want.

This grandmother is reluctant to part with it. She has an obligation to help take care of the children. Why is this daughter so picky? Grandma quit, and she also spit out her unhappiness, which led to the fact that although they both loved each other very much, their mouths were cut everywhere like a knife without eyes, and finally they did not cut off the affection between mother and daughter.

Second, the concept of educating children is different.

Grandma and daughter's educational concept for their children is definitely different, far from it. If the mother-in-law says, "I raised your husband since childhood, what do you think of him now?" Daughter-in-law can also roll her eyes and keep her hair.

But if grandma says so, her daughter can move out of a bunch of injuries about family background. "It is because you did this to me that I became like this. Now you still treat my children in that educational way. Isn't that to let my children follow in my footsteps? "

It stands to reason that we are practical, but my daughter still blames her grandmother for her serious deviation in education, not only unaware of it, but also complacent, completely denying her hard work and energy over the years. Can you not break the old man's heart?

Then, if the mother comes to look after the children, what should the daughter do to avoid the increase of contradictions?

First, you have to bear it. Although we are our own mothers, we can't hurt our mothers just because we are the closest relatives. Our own mother won't hold grudges, but she will be sad. Therefore, if you want your mother to help you take care of your children, you should be mentally prepared: grandma must not take everything like her mother, but she must be tolerant.

As long as it doesn't involve a very principled view of right and wrong, and it doesn't involve serious children's health problems, the daughter will say it once or twice, and the old man won't listen. There is no need to cling to small details and hurt the old man's heart.

Second, keep in mind a purpose. When you want to get angry or complain, you must remember that it is the mother's duty to help the baby, lighten your burden and be grateful.

Third, express your thoughts appropriately. Send a small gift to grandma on holidays. Although the old man will say "Don't buy it, it's a waste of money", his heart must be sweeter than eating honey. Because this means that both the daughter and the son-in-law are looking at their own hard work and thinking about their own good, which is an expression of their affirmation and gratitude.

If you really can't stand it, I still advise you not to ask your mother to help with the children, or you may really turn against each other.

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