Why is there a generation gap between us and our elders

The generation gap is a common social phenomenon, which hinders the exchange and communication of ideas, feelings and life between generations. How did the generation gap come into being? How to eliminate or reduce the generation gap between the two generations?

The elders and the younger generation are active in their own life circles, with different people and things, and their thoughts and behaviors are different. If this difference is not mended and allowed to expand, the invisible wall between the two generations will accumulate thicker and thicker, and misunderstandings will occur more easily. This is the generation gap in psychology. To paraphrase a modern language, it is the so-called "generation gap".

the word "generation gap" is literally translated from English generation gap and has become a common language. The "generation gap", as its name implies, means that there is a gap between generations, which hinders the exchange and communication of ideas, feelings and life between young and old.

The "generation gap" is a normal social phenomenon, an inevitable historical event in time, and a biological event at the same time. With the development and change of society, the older generation and us emerging human beings have different social experiences. With the development of history, people's social environment and social tasks are bound to be different. From youth to old age, physical changes will inevitably bring about psychological and behavioral changes.

Speaking of the generation gap, maybe we should introduce some knowledge of pedagogy. Seeing Liang Shiqiu's The Generation Gap, I think it is worth reading, which may inspire the communication between the two generations:

The generation gap is a relatively new term translated, but it has existed since ancient times. Since people are divided into young and old, there has been a gap between the older generation and the younger generation, which may be a deep trench that is difficult to fly over, or a small sewer that has been crossed in one step. In short, there is a boundary between them. People on this side of the ditch don't like people on that side of the ditch, and people on that side of the ditch don't like it. Maybe they blow their beards and stare, maybe they beat the table and roll up their sleeves, maybe they say bad words, or maybe they actually make a murder case, depending on the temperament and cultivation of both sides.

Although it is inevitable that there will be a ditch in each generation, it is generally peaceful. This is because there are so-called traditionalists who stick some ideas of people in a fixed category. "If you don't follow the rules, you can't make a square." Everyone follows the rules, especially the younger generation. "Big shoes and small shoes, don't go away!" Naturally, the younger generation will have to hold back their grievances, but don't be busy. "Years of daughter-in-law make a woman, and years of roads become a river." In a blink of an eye, Huang Kou's children have become old and tired, and it's their turn to sigh and complain that their stomachs are out of date.

Under the extended family system, the generation gap between parents-in-law and daughter-in-law is the clearest and saddest. When the son comes back from outside, he can't plunge into the boudoir. Not only will his in-laws stare, but everyone will raise their eyebrows. He must go to the house to pay his respects first, talking and laughing for a long time, and then his in-laws (mostly women) showed mercy and said, "Go back to the house and have a rest", and his son was ordered to return to Hong Kong. Daughter-in-law can't follow up later, but also has to play around in front of her in-laws, and then her in-laws show mercy again, "You go too", so that the daughter-in-law can go and walk slowly. If the daughter-in-law is washing clothes in the courtyard, the son goes to help, draws a bucket or two of water from a willow jar in the backyard well, and sends it to the past for later use. As a result, he will also be scolded by his elders: "Go away, this is not what you do." I remember more than half a century ago, there was a young couple in a big family, who were very loving and died suddenly. The wife felt that she had no life in that family and took poison to die. After the funeral, on the day of mourning, the government presented a plaque saying, "Tong Guan Yang Fen", and the white cloth from the woman's family said, "Look at my lintel!" We can hear the ghosts of the generation gap crying, although people on the other side of the generation gap are still trying to be brave.

what I said above was 6 or 7 years ago. There is a small storm in the generation gap, but there is no big flood. Although the generation gap exists permanently, its phenomenon may change at any time. There are many troubles in life, and there are only two things to talk about: money and color. Regarding money, the older generation tends to be a little stingy. Being stingy is not necessarily all faults. "According to the amount of money and save it, the rich have no money to hide, and the poor are not false loans, which is called increase. If you accumulate more, you can't divide people, but you are generous and self-supporting, which is called stingy. You can't divide people, and you can't support yourself, which is called love. " This is the saying in Yanzi Chunqiu. Love is a miser. But someone seems to hang Brother Kong Fang on his ribs one by one, and the next one is all bloodshot. English slang, barely taking out a dollar, is called "coughing up a dollar", which probably means that money is hidden in the heart and needs to be coughed hard to jump out. When the younger generation saw this situation, the boss didn't think so, and thought to himself, "This is really a' man of the past, ignorant'. If you don't have money, you will suffer and forget that you can't take any money with you in the coffin." There is such resentment in my heart, and sometimes I have to vent it. Therefore, there was once a son who asked his father for fifty yuan of pocket money, but his father refused. He was dragged on by harsh words. The son was more athletic and grabbed his father's tie. (Alas, the tie was really a mistake.) The father couldn't get up in one breath, rolled his eyes and died. This case, as it should be, is based on the reason of "mental loss", leaving a tragic record in the history of the generation gap.

when people reach adulthood, they are not only anxious about their own courtship, but their parents are even more worried. However, the so-called generation gap has emerged. On the one hand, it is my business, and on the other hand, it is said that how can we not ask about the important events of carrying on the family? Whether a person is good or poor, dignified or feminine, it is difficult to make a definite comment. "Look at that, long hair, jeans, loafing and lazy, probably not good." "Mountain climbing, camping, playing ball games and dancing are all the entertainment of young people. Do we have to spare time every day to sleep in the morning and enjoy ourselves?" The opposite is true, and the more you talk, the farther you go. In fact, the concepts of "raising children to prevent old age" and "I raise you young and you raise me old" have long since been abandoned by most modern people. Feathers are abundant, each goes his own way, and the upper and lower generations can maintain a friend-like relationship, which can be sparse and dense. Isn't it wonderful to ask questions and treat each other with courtesy when you are old? No one needs to be arrogant and indulge themselves, and blame the generation gap. Ditch is dead, people are alive! The generation gap needs communication, and it can't be as easy as Alexander's sword in Greek mythology to cut the knotty knot, because people are people after all.

In recent years, the problem of "generation gap" has become increasingly serious and obvious in our life, which makes us have to pay attention to this problem. So, how can we slow down or eliminate the gap between the two generations?

As parents, they should take the initiative to communicate with their children. Don't neglect to communicate with their children more because of work and other reasons. They can often have a heart-to-heart talk with their children, so that they can also understand their thoughts, who they associate with and what is happening around them. Do this often, and your child will take the initiative to communicate with you.

As parents, they should not only actively communicate with their children, but also think from their point of view, instead of talking, training and scolding blindly, singing "one-man show", and more should listen, forgive and teach, be a loyal audience, properly correct their children's misunderstandings and express their different views. "Don't treat children as children, we have thoughts and ideas, please respect us!"

everyone has his own way of thinking, even if he is an eight-year-old child. No matter how wrong and unrealistic his views are by the standards of adults, he always thinks he is right from his own standpoint.

and in fact, if you really stand from his standpoint, he does have some reasonable points. Even if he is wrong, try to persuade him bit by bit from his point of view. Don't worry or get angry. He will understand that you are right sooner or later. If it's really a matter of principle, tell him that you want him to keep his opinion and think about it later. I believe that if we communicate on the basis of real respect and understanding, children will feel it.

The generation gap exists not only between parents and children, but also among the elderly.

Old people emphasize inheritance more than innovation, and there are great differences between them and the next generation in many concepts. The younger generation at home often emphasizes keeping up with the trend of the times and thinks that their parents' ideas are old-fashioned and dead-headed. As a result, the two generations often disagree on the inheritance and innovation of ideas, and the cognitive differences often affect the emotional harmony and psychological compatibility of the two generations, and even the psychological distance may be widened. To this problem, the correct attitude and handling methods are: to encourage the elders and the younger generation to learn from each other, communicate with each other and respect each other, and to strengthen their learning in the process of transforming the old and new concepts. Old people should learn new things and new ideas, and the next generation should not abandon some good ideas in traditional ideas. Only in this way can the two generations reach the same understanding, and the family relationship will be more harmonious and the spirit of the elderly will be more pleasant.

In an ordinary family, children can't exchange views on society, life and other issues with their parents on an equal footing. To the average parent, adults always seem to be right. "What do you know!" This is the mantra of many parents reprimanding their children. Yes, because of knowledge, experience and practical experience, parents will know more than children.

However, this is also relative. Sometimes, what children know may not be fully understood by adults. Therefore, exchanging views with children on an equal footing, obeying whoever is right, completely conforms to the law of understanding, and there is no problem of losing face at all, so there is no need to pretend in front of children.

The negative psychological impact of parents' arbitrary and undemocratic behavior on children deserves more attention, and children may become timid, depressed or equally unreasonable. Why do some children refuse to accept the education of adults, and their rebellious attitude has reached an incredible level? An extremely important reason is that parents can't treat them equally.

Therefore, no matter how "knowledgeable" the elders are or how "ignorant" the children are, they should treat their children equally. Even if children's understanding is wrong, they should be good at guiding them, because some things are difficult to understand when they have no personal experience.

Some parents don't show mercy to their children, and the children are slightly wrong, regardless of the occasion and the influence, and it is a reprimand; And if I made a mistake, not only did I not allow the children to criticize, but the children were a little disrespectful and flew into a rage. This will also cause children's sense of inequality. Without equality, there will be no normal interpersonal communication.

Both adults and children are in an equal position in personality, and they should love and respect each other. According to the principle of "exchange", giving respect is also respect, and giving love is also love. Although awed by majesty, children dare not openly show disrespect to you, but they are not convinced, and this inner dissatisfaction will one day break out, causing family discord. Giving children full equality is an important condition for establishing a good intergenerational relationship.