How can you relieve trouble?

Don't trust probability, many things won't happen.

There is an old saying in China: "If you are not born 100 years old, you should always worry about whether you are chitose." There is also an idiom in China called "worrying about the sky". In real life, everyone inevitably has a lot of troubles, just as some people say, "life is pain." So many people hope to find a panacea for "how to get rid of troubles". In fact, the right to choose pain or happiness is in your own hands.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. If a person can't face his troubles correctly, he may always be in trouble. In fact, 90% of what people are worried about will not happen. Many people don't understand this truth, so they often have some unnecessary worries.

When we think of God, it is often the time when we encounter misfortune and vent our dissatisfaction and resentment. Actually, let's calm down and think about it. God has given us not only misfortune, but also many beautiful things. If we calculate our happiness and use some ideas, we can overcome our worries. In our life, about 90% of things are good, and only 10% is bad. If we want to be happy, we should think more about 90% of the good and ignore the LO% of the bad.

Carnegie, a famous American success master, once said, "When I was young, my heart was full of worries: I was afraid of being buried alive, being chopped to death by lightning, going to hell after death, and being afraid that a big boy named Zhan Mu White would cut off my ear-Zhan Mu White once threatened me like this, and I was afraid that I would not marry my beloved girl in the future ..."

He often spent hours thinking about these "earth-shattering" "big problems", but as the years passed, Carnegie found that 90% of what he was worried about would never happen.

Maybe you are worried about being struck by lightning and that your train will derail. But when you think about the probability of these things happening, you will find that the probability of these things happening is small enough to laugh to death. We are worried about how ridiculous such a thing is.

In fact, many people's worries are ridiculous. If we evaluate whether our worries are worth it according to probability, 90% of them will be eliminated.

Lloyd's Insurance Company in London, the most famous insurance company in the world, has made countless money because it is worried about the uncertainty of some things. This company is gambling with others, but this kind of gambling is only under the brand of insurance.

In fact, this is a gambling based on probability. This big insurance company has a history of 200 years. Unless human nature changes, it will last at least another 5000 years.

If we calculate the probability, we will be surprised at what we find. There is a couple in the Canadian Rockies-Herbert scharinger. Mrs. Salinger is a very calm woman, giving the impression that she has never been worried.

One night, someone asked her if there was anything on her mind. She said that she used to be an extremely worried person, but later, because one sentence changed her life, she stopped worrying.

You won't believe it. My life is almost ruined by worry.

Before I learned to conquer my troubles, I lived in misery 1 1 year.

At that time, I was bad-tempered, impatient and nervous. When I go shopping, I think of many terrible things: maybe the house burned down, maybe the servant ran away, maybe the children were killed by a car ... I often get cold sweat from these terrible things, so I have to rush out of the store and run home at once to see if everything is all right. In fact, nothing happened. My situation led to the failure of my first marriage.

My second husband is a lawyer. He is very steady and analytical. He never worries about anything. Whenever I am nervous or anxious, he says to me, "Don't panic. Let's think about it. What on earth are you worried about? " ? Let's analyze the probability and see if this kind of thing is possible. "

I remember once, we were caught in a storm on a highway in New Mexico. The road is slippery and the car is difficult to control. I think we will definitely slide into the ditch by the side of the road, but my husband keeps telling me, "I'm driving very slowly now, and nothing will happen." Even if the car slips into the ditch, we won't get hurt. "His careful and calm attitude calmed me down slowly.

One summer, we went camping in the Rocky Mountains. One night, we set up our tent at an altitude of 7000 feet, and suddenly we were caught in a storm. The tent shook in the strong wind and whistled sharply. I think every minute: the tent will be blown down and fly into the sky. I was really scared at that time, but my husband kept saying, "Dear, we have several Indian tour guides who know this place like the back of their hands. They said that they had camped in the mountains for sixty or seventy years, and never a tent was blown away. According to the probability, the tent will not be blown away tonight. Even if the tent is really blown away, we can hide in other tents, so you don't have to be nervous. " I relaxed, and as a result, I slept soundly that night. Nothing really happened!

"According to the probability, this kind of thing will not happen", this sentence reduced my anxiety by 90% and made my life in these 20 years very beautiful and calm.

General George Cukor once said, "Almost all worries and sorrows come from people's imagination rather than reality."

Zhan Mu Grant said that his experience was the same. Every time he transports fruit from Florida, he often has some strange ideas in his mind, such as "What if the train hits", "What if the fruit rolls all over the floor", "What if the bridge suddenly collapses when my car passes by" and "What if ..."

Although these fruits are insured, he is still worried about what to do if the train is late and his fruits cannot be sold. He even suspected that he had a gastric ulcer because of excessive anxiety.

So he went to the hospital for examination. The doctor told him that he was healthy, but he was too nervous.

So Zhan Mu Grant began to ask himself some questions:

Q: Zhan Mu, how many carts of fruit have you sold over the years?

A: About 25,000 vehicles.

Q: How many car accidents have you had after delivering so many fruits?

A: Only five times.

Summary: What does this mean? The probability of an accident is one in five thousand!

Q: How many of the five car accidents were caused by bridge collapse?

A: Not once.

Then he said to himself, "Isn't it silly to ruin your health for a bridge that has never collapsed and for a one-fifth chance of a car accident?"

When he asked himself and answered these questions, he found himself really stupid in the past. So he no longer worried about things with a small probability, and he no longer worried about the nonexistent "gastric ulcer".

We can learn from Zhan Mu Grant, ask ourselves what is the probability of what we are worried about, and see if our fears are justified.

After reading the above story, we should also reflect on the probability of what we are worried about. In fact, most of the things we worry about will not happen, so we should not worry about these extremely unlikely things.

Of course, not all the things we worry about will not happen, and a small part will. However, we often say "where to go to cut wood", that is, take a step by step and don't worry about what hasn't happened yet.

Does this mean that we should be worried when things happen? No. We should face the fait accompli calmly, just as willow trees bear the wind and rain. We should dare to face the facts and adjust our mentality. Now that things have happened, it's no use worrying. The only thing to do is to recognize the facts and avoid similar things from happening again.

We often face things that bring suffering to our lives, which are beyond our control, because suffering is a part of life and no one can escape. We should learn to adapt to and accept the inevitable fact without worrying about it, because worrying will only do us more harm.

By studying the data of some famous American businessmen, it is found that what these people have in common is that most of them have the ability to accept the inevitable facts without worrying about them. It can be concluded that if they don't have this ability, they will be overwhelmed by the great pressure of business.

Penny, who founded chain stores all over the United States, said, "Even if I lose all my money, I won't worry." Because I don't know what worries can bring me. I will try my best to do the work well, and the result will depend on God. "

Psychological fatigue has become a "hidden killer" in modern society. It quietly lurks around people, eroding people's body and mind bit by bit. Although it won't kill people in a short time, it is like a chronic poison, which hurts people unconsciously day by day. Once this kind of injury accumulates to a certain amount, it will lead to major diseases, and then it will get out of hand. So we should be vigilant about this.

So, how is psychological fatigue formed? Medical and psychological research shows that psychological fatigue is gradually formed by long-term mental stress, repeated psychological stimulation and bad emotional influence. Psychological fatigue will not only make the spirit depressed, but also cause great harm to the body. If psychological fatigue exceeds the individual's tolerance limit, various diseases will take advantage of it, which will not only cause psychological out of control, even psychological collapse, but also cause various diseases of the body.

If there are psychological obstacles, a person will show nervousness, dyskinesia, insomnia, dreaminess, memory loss, inattention, decreased work efficiency and so on. Physical diseases are manifested as migraine, hypertension, ischemic heart disease, peptic ulcer, bronchial asthma, menstrual disorder, loss of libido and a series of other physical diseases.

If we can face life optimistically and positively instead of worrying about this and that every day, then our psychology will remain healthy. In fact, as long as we treat all kinds of problems in life correctly and objectively analyze the probability and possibility of anxiety and trouble, we will certainly live healthier and happier! Those so-called mental diseases can't be reproduced.

Probability is only a possibility, and you are a real individual, so you are not necessarily an option in this probability. Even if you are an option, don't worry, because it is independent of people's will, and worrying has no effect! Many people are afraid of cancer, because cancer is an "incurable disease" for many people, and some are just "painful", but it may not be.

In order to bid for the 2008 Olympic Games, Beijing held a grand concert in the resplendent Forbidden City, and all three tenors in the world made their debut, which attracted worldwide attention. Jose carreras is one of them.

But no one knows that he once had cancer.

1July, 987 13, jose carreras felt weak and couldn't get out of bed. He picked up the mirror and found himself as pale as he had just climbed out of hell: his face was haggard. ...

He decided to go to the hospital to have a good look. /kloc-in July of 0/4, the world-famous hematologist Jones bernat said to carreras with a bone marrow test sheet, "You have leukemia."

As we all know, what is leukemia? Leukemia is a hematological cancer, and many people die from leukemia. Hearing this news, carreras, like other patients, soon began to have adverse reactions: he lost weight, his hair fell off, and he was weak and unable to take care of himself.

But after a while, carreras's condition improved, which is extremely rare.

Later, carreras said, "I love everyone around me. When I was sick, they kept comforting and encouraging me. In this way, I gained the confidence to overcome cancer. "

As carreras's sister recalled: "At that time, he was in pain, but he never complained and never showed the feeling of being world-weary. Whenever we go to him, he always smiles and gives us a thumbs up. " Obviously, positive psychological suggestion has played a great role in carreras's fight against cancer.

In order to treat his cancer, the doctor decided to transplant carreras with autologous bone marrow. Compared with ordinary bone marrow transplantation, this operation is much more dangerous.

Carreras's good friend, Pavarotti, one of the three tenors in the world, has been calling him in Italy to encourage him to overcome his illness. Pavarotti said humorously, "I wish you success, you have no competitors here!" "

Domingo, one of the three tenors, went to the hospital to visit carreras and stayed with him for more than an hour.

With the positive encouragement of these relatives and friends, carreras faced the disease with a good attitude.

1February 27th, 988, carreras finally overcame cancer and was discharged from the hospital! He flew to Barcelona and was welcomed by thousands of enthusiastic fans. After a period of rest, his hair grew back and his weight recovered.

On July 2 1, carreras held his first solo concert near the Arc de Triomphe. In 90 minutes of singing, his singing conquered 654.38+0.5 million audience. The income of this solo concert is 40 million pesos, and carreras used the money to set up a fund to help those who have cancer.

Carreras's victory over cancer depends on his own good mood, which is not from others, but more from himself. The difference between people is actually very small. The reason why a loser fails is not because of his lack of ability, but because he is not in a good mood. Good mood is the support point of mentality-a balanced mentality can overcome many things that are considered insurmountable by probability.

Face difficulties bravely and overcome troubles at any time.

Life can't have so many troubles. Even if something unpleasant happens, as long as we can treat it correctly, analyze it calmly, find out the reason and solve the problem immediately, then the trouble will go with it.

But some people encounter problems precisely because they can't calm down and analyze the problems and find the reasons. In this way, they fall into a more worrying and chaotic situation, so that they eventually reach the point of psychological collapse and paranoia.

It doesn't matter if you are troubled. The important thing is to find the cause of trouble immediately, find the cause of trouble, and face it bravely. I believe that nothing can stump a living person. China has a ridiculous saying: "Will the living be suffocated by urine?" Therefore, no matter what difficulties you encounter, you should face them bravely. Even if the sky falls, there will be people taller than you. As long as we are full of confidence and courage in life, what kind of troubles can make us yield?

Arthur Sulzberg, a world-famous The New York Times publisher, said:

When the war of World War II spread to Europe, I was very surprised and scared, and my worries about the future kept me awake all night. So I often get up in the middle of the night, holding canvas and paint in front of the mirror, hoping to draw a self-portrait. Although I know nothing about painting. But in order to stop worrying and worrying, I have been painting. Finally, I use eight words in a hymn as my motto. Finally, I eliminated my worries and got peace of mind. These eight words are: "only consider the next step."

Also during the Second World War, somewhere in Europe, a young officer also used this method to solve his anxiety and troubles. He introduced his personal experience:

1April, 945, I was very upset, so I got a disease called colon spasm by the doctor, which was very painful. I think if this war is not over by then, then I will be completely destroyed.

I was completely exhausted by then. I am a noncommissioned officer in the 94th Infantry Division, responsible for reporting casualties and missing persons in battle, and also helping to dig up soldiers who were hastily buried after being killed in fierce fighting and return their relics to relatives and friends.

I've been worried that something will happen to me, that I won't make it through this period, and that I won't be able to come back to the United States alive to hold my 16-month-old son. I am worried, sad and tired all day. I lost 34 pounds and almost went crazy. I watched my hands become skinny, and I was scared to death at the thought of being thin. I have a complete breakdown and often cry all over myself.

For a time, shortly after the last German counterattack began, I often cried and almost gave up hope of returning to normal life. Finally, I was admitted to the hospital, and a doctor gave me some advice and began to change my life. After I finished my comprehensive physical examination, the military doctor told me, "Your problem is completely caused by mental illness. I hope you can imagine life as a sand funnel. In the upper part of the funnel, there are thousands of grains of sand passing slowly and evenly through the middle slit. Neither you nor I can let more than two grains of sand pass through that narrow gap at the same time except the sand funnel. Each of us is like this funnel. At the beginning of the day, there are many things that we need to finish as soon as possible, but things must be done one by one, so you must let the work pass slowly and evenly like sand, otherwise it will damage your physical and mental health. "

From that day on, I have always taken the doctor's words as my motto: "There is only one grain of sand at a time … there is only one thing at a time."

It was this advice that saved me.

……

In modern society, the fear brought by worrying too much is terrible. The data shows that more than half of the beds in this hospital are reserved for people with mental or neurological problems. These people are overwhelmed by yesterday's melancholy and tomorrow's worries. Most of them, as long as they can remember what Jesus said, "Don't worry about tomorrow", can walk in the streets carefree and live a happy and lively life.

The past has passed, and the future has not come yet. In this case, the only thing we can really grasp is the present, so as long as we live the present well and seize it, then life will be much simpler.

"Grasp the present" is a simple and profound truth. If we can grasp this moment, we can fully release our potential, face life bravely and do everything well today!

Establish a positive mental image and induce the power of thinking.

In this world, nothing can go smoothly. If there is happiness, there will naturally be trouble; There are lucky things and unfortunate things-this is life. Life is fair to everyone, but people have different attitudes towards troubles and setbacks.

Some people will only become dejected and despondent in the face of setbacks; Some people know how to face optimistically, solve problems calmly, and turn troubles into a driving force for progress. As long as you know how to adjust your mentality effectively and keep a positive mental state at all times, you can turn the tide even if you encounter big winds and waves, "and set my cloudy sail straight and bridge the deep, deep sea"!

A female typist found that pretending to work is interesting and can make people get a lot of rewards. Her story can give us a good inspiration:

There are four typists in our office who type letters for several people respectively. We often work overtime because of the heavy workload.

One day, an assistant manager insisted that I type another long letter. I told him that he only needed to change it and didn't need to type it all out. But he said to me, "If you don't start over, I'll hire someone else."

I was so angry that I had to pretend to like typing this letter again for this position and salary. Working hard, I found that if I pretended to like my job, I would actually like to do it unconsciously, and then my work speed would be accelerated.

This kind of work attitude has made me well received by everyone. Later, a supervisor asked me to be a private secretary because he knew I was willing to do some extra work without complaining.

……

The change of mental state brought me good luck.

Miss used the technique of "pretending", which made her very happy.

If you "pretend" to be interested in work, this little "pretend" will make your interest real and reduce your fatigue, anxiety and boredom.

Through constant thinking, Major James Nasmesser spent a narrow escape in a Vietnamese prison camp and made his golf skills reach a new level.

James Nasmesser dreamed of making great progress in golf. He invented a unique method to achieve his goal. Before that, he played like an amateur who usually practiced on weekends, and his level was in the middle and lower reaches-about 90 shots. How is his golf skill after seven years without touching the club?

The first time he set foot on the golf course after his comeback, he hit an amazing 74! Although it is more than ten strokes lower than the previous average, he has not played for seven years! It's unbelievable. Not only that, his physical condition is much better than that of seven years ago.

What's Major Nasmesser's secret? It exists in the "spiritual image".

Nasmesser spent seven years in a prison camp in Vietnam. He was kept in a cage that was only four and a half feet high and five feet long.

Most of the time, he was imprisoned, unable to see anyone, speak or engage in any physical activities. A few months ago, he did nothing but pray to leave quickly. Later, he found that he had to find a way to occupy his mind, otherwise he would go crazy or die, so he learned to establish a "mental image"-he chose his favorite golf ball and began to play golf.

Every day, he plays 18 holes in his dream golf country club. He has experienced everything, including every detail. He imagined himself wearing a golf suit and smelling the fragrance of green trees and grass. He even experienced different weather conditions-sunny spring, dark winter, sunny summer morning …

In his imagination, tables, green grass, green trees, crowing birds, jumping squirrels and the terrain of the stadium are vivid.

He felt his hand holding the club, practicing all kinds of putting and swinging skills. He saw the ball land on the mowed lawn, jumped a few times and rolled to the specific point he chose. Everything happened in his mind.

In the real world, he has nowhere to go. So he walked step by step to the little white ball in his heart, as if his body was really playing golf. In his mind, the time to complete the 18 hole is the same as in reality. Not a single detail can be omitted. He never misses the opportunity to swing the left curve ball, the right curve ball and the putter.

Seven days a week, 24 hours a day, 18 holes, seven years, it seems that he did nothing, but psychologically, he played golf for seven years, which made him score 74.

A person's body may be controlled, but a person's mind is uncontrollable. Spread the wings of your imagination, let your thoughts fly with the wind, and open your potential with a positive image. Everything may be better for you. Everyone can do this, and so can you!

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Suppose we are so depressed that it is impossible to make our lemons into lemonade. So, here are two reasons why we should try-these two reasons tell us why we can only make money without losing money.

The first reason: we may succeed.

The second reason: even if we don't succeed, just trying to turn negative into positive will make us look forward, not backward.

Therefore, replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts can stimulate your creativity and make us have no time to take care of what has been done and done.

Once, the world-famous violinist Ollie Bull gave a concert in Paris, and the A string on his violin suddenly broke. But Ollie Bull finished this piece with three other strings.

Afterwards, Harry Emerson Fosdick said, "This is life. If your A string is broken, use the other three strings to play music. "

This is not only life, but even more valuable than life-this is the victory of life.

If we can do it, we will engrave William Poliso's words on a copper plate and hang them in every school: "The most important thing in life is not to regard your income as capital, only stupid people will do it. What is really important for us is to profit from your losses, which requires wisdom, and this is the difference between a wise man and a fool. "

Therefore, to cultivate a mood that can bring you peace and happiness, please follow this rule: "When fate gives us a lemon, let's try to make a glass of lemonade."

We call those negative emotions negative emotions, because these emotions reduce people's efficiency, reduce people's positive mentality, make people look down on themselves, think they are immature, and even cause others to hate themselves, causing their anxiety, worry, anger and sadness.

One should learn to turn negative emotions into positive factors and let negative emotions have a positive effect.

From a physiological point of view, some emotions, such as anxiety and anger, will prompt brain cells to release adrenaline, corticosteroids and other substances, which will make the body enter a state of mobilizing energy to deal with threats. If you keep this state for a long time, it will cause health problems, and the ability of the brain will naturally be discounted.

However, the function of negative emotions can help us get rid of threats, which is a necessary function for survival, and it is not a negative effect in itself. The question is what state the brain responds to threats.

Positive emotions can induce the brain to produce happy biochemical substances, while negative emotions can cause the brain to produce painful biochemical substances. To make negative emotions have a positive effect, the basic point is to change ideas.

This is a very broad question, involving many aspects. For example, parents or teachers generally require children to finish reading books and homework before they can play; Leaders often accuse young people who have just joined the work of being careless and playful. In the eyes of ordinary people, reading, doing homework and working are serious things, while playing is a minor subject, but many children and young people regard doing serious things as a painful thing and playing as a happy thing.

In fact, this is a misunderstanding: happiness or pain are subjective, and you can't suffer because of work or study, and you can't be happy because of play. The key is, where is the interest! There is interest in playing, and there is interest in working. Only by combining work and rest can we achieve maximum efficiency.

It's not that people don't have the enthusiasm to work and study, but that China people are used to linking success with pain-"You can be a master only after suffering" and "Plum blossoms come from bitter cold" is a good proof. Over time, study and work have become the burden of life. People subjectively associate "negative emotions" with work and study, which is naturally a big misunderstanding. At the same time, people think that "playing with things is a crime" as long as they are playing-just look at the children playing games in the game hall and you can find out how happy they are.

Our view is: turn negative emotions into positive emotions, and link work and study with happiness. Work and study need to be serious, but they can also be happy, and they can be serious and happy. In other words, as long as the interest in work and study is cultivated, happiness will follow.

As long as we think carefully, every negative emotion can give people a kind of motivation-push us to deal with it correctly. You were robbed, but you weren't hurt. You must be very depressed, but you should think that this is a blessing in disguise, because your body is not injured. This is to find positive factors from negative emotions. Not to regret, but to actively find ways to eliminate this emotion.

Turning bad things into good things is the basic principle that negative emotions play a positive role. Turning negative emotions into motivation can guide you and give you strength. If you can understand the positive meaning of negative emotions, find out past emotional experiences and study the positive meaning of those negative emotions, you will get a lot of inspiration.

Sherlock Holmes, an American humorist, attended a meeting at which he was the shortest man.

A friend blurted out, "Mr. Holmes, do you think you are the best among us?"

Holmes said, "I feel like a coin in a pile of pennies." The face value of a coin is ten cents, but it is less than one cent. "

No matter what kind of situation you encounter, most of the time you can't change it. The only thing you can change is your attitude. Therefore, as long as we can adjust our mentality in time and cheer ourselves up more, everything will be fine. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.