Angry mother of "Fung Wong-Nui" after 1990s: I can't control my brother's marriage. Is it wrong for me to be 30?

Educated by parents to be a good girl since childhood. My mother taught me to cook with fire when I was in primary school. Growing up in the countryside, I suffered a lot. The elders in the village say that I will be a capable daughter-in-law when I grow up, but I was born in 1990, and I am still single and a leftover woman.

Am I not good? My height 166 and weight 1 10. When I was in college, I was the flower in my class. I have a good undergraduate degree and work in a state-owned enterprise. It's nothing in a big city, but in my hometown, I am the "golden phoenix" in my village. My parents are proud of me, and I thank them for their cultivation.

In the eyes of my mother, I am an obedient child. My mother has always taught me not to argue with my brother and not to rob him since I was a child. When I am in trouble, I should help my brother unconditionally. You are a sister, you are an adult, and it is your responsibility to love your brother. At that time, I thought I was five years older than my brother, so I really became an adult and began to take care of my brother.

I remember when I was a child, my brother always wore new clothes, and my clothes were always worn for several years, and I had to sew and mend them. When I grew up, I realized that my mother only preferred sons to daughters, and my younger brother wanted to carry on the family line. I was destined to be the water spilled by the married girl.

I only blame my brother for disappointing, and my grades have been very poor, while my grades have always been among the best. I think if it weren't for this reason, I would have dropped out of school. However, my mother's choice is wise. I changed the fate of my whole family through my study, and my brother went out to work before finishing high school.

After work, I basically send everything to my mother except a little monthly living expenses. My mother said, "I'll keep this money for you." I obeyed and gave it to my mother. Slowly, I learned to dress myself and sell beautiful clothes. I send less money to my mother. She says I can't spend money recklessly, but I pay a fixed sum every month. I really don't have much left except living expenses.

When I was in college, my mother wouldn't let me have a boyfriend. First, I spent money. Second, I am afraid of being cheated, doing things I shouldn't do, and I can't find someone in the future. When I was old enough to talk about marriage, my mother set the conditions for me to have a boyfriend. I want a city hukou, a house, a car, and preferably a good job. I have passed many men who chase me, and I just hope my mother will be satisfied. Finally, my colleagues at work became my boyfriends. Besides his mother's condition, the key is that he still loves me.

Love is unconditional, but marriage is conditional. My boyfriend has repeatedly advised me that there should be a limit to the subsidies for families of origin. But under my mother's words, "You should repay us well, don't be a blind wolf", I am still as usual, and my boyfriend's love for me is beginning to fade. When we parted, he said to me, "Your house is like a bottomless pit. I will marry you, and sooner or later you will stick my house upside down. "

When I went home for the Spring Festival this year, my brother talked about 300,000 bride price. My mother gave me another look and said, "Daughter, your brother is almost 25, and the boss is not young. If you want to get married, you have to give a bride price. Don't give all the money saved to your husband's family. "

After listening to my mother's words, my heart ached and I cried and said to my mother, "Mom! Please don't bother me. Have you ever thought about my daughter? I am 30 years old and still single. What is the reason? I paid almost all my wages for my family. For my brother, I have no childhood. When I grow up, I have to subsidize my brother endlessly. Even my love was torn apart by "home". I still have money to help my brother. In this home with father, mother and brother, without me, I am just a tool for you to make money. Do you really care about me? Even if I had money, I gave it to my brother this time. And after that? Is it necessary to take care of my brother's work and children? As my boyfriend said, our family is a bottomless pit, so mom, I can't take care of my brother's marriage. I'm 30 years old and I'm going to find my own love. In the future, when you are old and gone, don't I even have a home? "

For this reason, my mother and I had a quarrel. Anyway, I won't live like before, and I will be filial at home, but I won't be so ignorant anymore. (Emotional narrator: Li Nan)

Emotional conclusion:

In some "Fung Wong-Nui" families, the bride's family always regards her daughter as a cash cow and the most direct way to change the family's fate. They are insatiable, blindly demanding, regardless of their daughter's happiness, and regard their daughter's love and marriage as a child's play; There are also some parents who prefer boys to girls. A daughter's status is much lower than that of her son, who can enjoy it as soon as possible, and her daughter only has to pay, which has caused psychological scars to her daughter.

As a phoenix woman, living in such a family, you should learn to say no. What you pay is natural, which will only make your parents feel that you are capable and can do it. If you refuse, you should make up your mind. Maybe parents can fundamentally understand the seriousness of the problem.

Love for the family is right. However, women should pay more attention to the love of the newborn family, so as to achieve a balance between the two, which can lead to a stable and happy marriage.