What's your secret?

I have a secret hidden in my heart for more than ten years, and no one understands it. Very uncomfortable. At that time, in junior high school, the teacher asked a question, what is the dream when I grow up? Many people replied that it was my turn to be a scientist, a teacher and a star. I said I wanted to farm when I grew up. I remember a classmate said at that time, you farm and I want to raise pigs. Everyone laughed in succession. The laughter at that time was childish, but it was a little harsh. Later, a month before the college entrance examination, several friends looked forward to their future college time and talked about their future ambitions. Some people want to take the civil service exam, start a company, do scientific research and be a doctor, and study abroad. I said I wanted to go home and farm in the future. If you don't plant it, plant it for me. They all thought I was joking and didn't take it seriously, but my eyes made me feel bad. When I was in college, four people in the dormitory were bored one night. When chatting, they talked about their future jobs. One wants to take an examination of civil servants in his own town, one wants to make money and start his own company in the future, and the other rich second generation just wants to play games at home every day. I said that I want to go home to farm in the future, and the air in my hometown is good. My roommates told me with a smile that it is difficult to farm, make money and find a wife. These kind words silenced me. I talked about my girlfriend after graduation. One night, I talked about my future plans. She said that she wanted to teach art well and have her own studio in the future. I really appreciate the happy expression on her face when she tells her dreams. She asked me, and I said I always wanted to go back to my hometown to farm. She said something about mental illness. Although it was unintentional, it broke my heart. Farming is my childhood dream, which has not wavered for more than ten years. Maybe it's the environment. Maybe it's stubbornness in the bones. Although I haven't realized it yet, it has always been my dream. But every time I say it, I feel deeply frustrated. Then I stopped talking about my dreams. Later, when we talked about dreams, we stopped talking about farming. This dream has thus become a secret, which has been hidden in my heart, waiting for me to realize it one day.