How difficult is it to take care of an elderly person for a long time? What problems have you encountered?

My husband’s mother suffered from cerebral infarction and was paralyzed in bed for five years. Later, she developed squamous cell carcinoma on her skin. During the past five years, she basically spent her time in bed, eating and urinating on the bed.

Because my husband is a filial son, he has to go back to his hometown to take care of his mother personally. For five years, with her husband as the main force and his three other children as assistants, they ensured that there were two or three people around the old man at all times. If an elderly person is hospitalized, other children will have to come over and take turns guarding him.

In order to allow the elderly to eat smaller meals more frequently and increase their nutrition, the family specially arranges for a person to be responsible for buying groceries and cooking, and cooks five meals for the elderly every day.

My husband is responsible for feeding the elderly, giving her medicine, applying and changing her dressings, doing functional exercises, catching feces and urine, helping her turn over, and watching TV with her.

My husband and his mother lived in the same room at night. He got up in the middle of the night to give her water, change diapers, and help her turn over countless times. Basically, she couldn't sleep.

The old man lives upstairs and has not been out or downstairs in five years.

During those five years, my husband, his sister, and brother-in-law devoted all their energy to taking care of their paralyzed mother. The three of them were busy from morning to night, with little time to rest.

Especially in the later stages, when the old man's condition becomes serious, even the hospital is unwilling to accept him. I have to change medicines and diapers countless times a day, and the skin cancer areas on my body are all smelly. In addition, there is no perfect disinfection method, and the stench fills the house. The family members have been living in this environment for a long time, and they continue to get sick.

What is even more troublesome is that after taking care of such a seriously ill elderly person for a long time, the family is close to the edge of collapse, both physically and mentally. In five years, I couldn't take care of my small family and the children at home.

In the past, families had many children, and they could take turns taking care of the elderly. Nowadays, most of them are only children, and the pressure of social competition is high. If the elderly in the family are really paralyzed and bedridden, can one child bear such a heavy responsibility?

I saw that in the nursing home where my parents lived, the paralyzed old people were cared for by professionals and disinfected with professional equipment. The old people were clean and smellless. Every day, the nursing staff pushed the elderly out in wheelchairs to bask in the sun, chat, and play games. The elderly lived happily. Seeing these old people, we are thinking about it. Should the old people who are paralyzed in bed be sent to a nursing home with more professional and hygienic care? Or is it better to live in a home where all conditions are not met?

At the beginning, you will encounter many new problems, and you need to learn a lot of knowledge, such as disease control, psychological counseling, various housework, cooking, nutritional matching, etc. You need to adjust your mentality to ensure your own health. Your body is in good condition. You can adapt quickly as long as you work hard. Encourage yourself. I can do it. I am a man. I don’t want to trouble my children.

Put yourself in my shoes. No parent would be like you. Today?

I have great respect for everyone who takes care of bedridden parents for a long time. They all deserve respect. Because: there is no filial son in front of a long-term illness. This is a sad saying. But it also spoke of the hard work.