Selected Recommendations of 2017 Classic Jokes

The material of the joke comes from reality, but it is exaggerated than reality. Below I share some classic jokes with you, I hope you like them.

Collection of classic jokes (humorous category)

1 A young man cried to the master: Master, I failed the college entrance examination and could not go to college. My parents scolded me. My girlfriend also left me, please accept me and convert me to Buddhism!? The master took out a stack of college entrance examination materials, and the young man suddenly realized: The master told me not to give up the college entrance examination and fight again next year, right? The master shook his head and said: "Donor, we only recruit undergraduates and above. You should go back and get a bachelor's degree first and then come here for the interview!"

2. In the Chinese class, the teacher: Xiao Ming, please tell me if every drop of water If every flower represents a blessing, then I will send you an ocean? Do an imitation sentence exercise!

Xiao Ming: If every flower represents a blessing, then I will send you a wreath!

Instantly the whole class was in shock!!!

Teacher: Go, go, go now!!!

When I was 3 years old, my mother told me more than once that kissing will make you pregnant. I will be pregnant, but when my cat jumped up to grab the meat, she managed to kiss me on the mouth. A few months later, she gave birth to three kittens? Out of a sense of responsibility, if I eat a bite of meat, I will not I will make those three kittens vegetarian!

4 It is said that if their daughter finds a boyfriend, her parents will feel sad that the cabbage they have worked so hard to grow has been stolen by a pig. But since my brother found a girlfriend, he doesn't even come back to live at home. My mother-in-law prepares delicious food every day, and I feel so happy. My 45-year-old mother looked up at the sky and said, "I don't know if the cabbage is sticking up. Anyway, the pigs that have been raised for more than 20 years must be lost." . . ?

5 When I was studying in the West, a six-eared macaque came in. Only Tang Monk could tell the real Monkey King from the fake one. Tang Monk said: "Master, I want to eat peaches." ? The two monkeys hesitated for a moment and both turned into peaches. Suddenly Tang Seng shouted: "Bajie, get that kiwi fruit for me!"

Teacher 6 called Xiao Ming outside the classroom.

Teacher: Your homework is getting worse and worse. What’s going on?

Xiao Ming: Teacher, let me find out the reason and tell you this afternoon, okay? ?

Teacher: ?Okay!?

In the afternoon, the teacher called Xiao Ming outside the classroom again. Teacher: Have you found the reason?

Xiao Ming: You have found it. My grandfather said that the homework is getting more and more difficult, and there is nothing he can do about it. ?

Teacher: ?Get out!?

7 One person asked: If the rope breaks during bungee jumping, you will fall into the bottom of the cliff immediately. You are only asked to say three words, What would you say? Someone replied: Help me, help me, I'm dying. . . Something like that. At this time, the Great God silently replied: Somersault Cloud. . . Instant kill!

8 It was the first time I went to my girlfriend’s house. During the meal, my second-rate girlfriend kept praising her mother’s cooking skills, and I also smiled and agreed with her about the various dishes. How delicious. Suddenly my girlfriend said: "Do you know how my mother tied my father up at home?" Absently, I opened my mouth and said: "Do you use a dog leash?"

Collection of classic jokes (philosophy) < /p>

1. A young man went to apply for a job. He picked up pieces of paper from the corridor and put them into the trash can. A passing examiner saw it, and he got the job.

Insights: It turns out that getting appreciation is very simple, just develop good habits.

2. There is a store that is always brightly lit. Someone asked: What kind of light tubes do you use in your store that are so durable? The shop owner replied: Our light tubes are often broken, so we just need to replace them frequently. . ?

Insight: It turns out that the way to keep it bright is very simple, just update it frequently.

3. There is a younger brother who works as an apprentice in a bicycle shop. Someone brought a broken bicycle. In addition to repairing the bicycle, the younger brother also wiped it to make it as beautiful as new. The other apprentices laughed at him for doing this unnecessary thing. The day after the owner took the bicycle back, the younger brother was hired to work in his company.

Insights: It turns out that it is very simple to get ahead, just be diligent.

4. A child said to his mother: Mom, you are so beautiful today. ?The mother asked: ?Why? The child said: ?Because mom is not angry today. ?

Insight: It turns out that being beautiful is very simple, as long as you don’t get angry.

5. There was a ranch owner who asked his children to work hard on the ranch every day. His friend said to him: "You don't need to make your children work so hard, the crops will still grow well." ?The ranch owner replied: ?I am not cultivating crops, I am cultivating my children. ?

Insights: It turns out that raising children is very simple, just let them endure some hardships.

6. The frog living in the field: It’s too dangerous here. Come and live with me. ?The frog on the roadside said: ?I am used to it and I am too lazy to move it. ?A few days later, the frog in the field went to visit the frog on the roadside, only to find that he had been run over by a car and his body was lying on the roadside.

Insight: It turns out that the way to control your destiny is very simple, just stay away from laziness.

7. When a chick hatched out of its shell, a turtle happened to pass by. From then on, the chick lived its whole life carrying the eggshell on its back!

Insight: In fact, detachment A heavy load is simple, don't simply imitate, just give up your stubbornness and prejudices.

8. There was a tennis coach who said to the students: If a tennis ball falls into the haystack, how should you find it? Someone said: Start looking from the center line of the haystack. ?Some people say: ?Start looking from the deepest part of the haystack. The coach said: Search step by step from one end of the grass to the other end of the grass. ?

Insights: It turns out that the way to find success is very simple. Just count from one to ten and don’t try to find shortcuts.

9. There was a gold mining team walking in the desert. Everyone was walking heavily and in pain. Only one person was walking happily. Others asked: "Why are you so comfortable?" He smiled and said: "Because I bring the least things." ?

Insight: It turns out that happiness is very simple, just have less.

10. Where is the brilliance of life? When you wake up in the morning, the brilliance is on your face and welcome the future with a smile. At noon, the brilliance is on your waist. Stand straight and live in the present. At night, the brilliance is on your face. Keep your feet on the ground and be yourself.

Perception: It turns out that life is also very simple. As long as you know how to cherish and be natural, you will have the brilliance of life.

Collection of classic jokes (emotional)

When one day we grow old, will even our memories fade away?

Growing through the thorns of time, I broke the wings of my dreams.

Lingering is just a moment of beauty, and the lost love cannot be taken back.

The pale and weak smile hides the sadness behind it.

Smiling just hides the pain behind it.

Relationships are usually based on money.

The cruelest thing is not separation, but that we are all in love but cannot be together.

Before that, there will be no future after all.

Love to the point of losing personality. Like one of his belongings. Once you get it, throw it away.

Life is like a play, and the final point is often the ending of the play

Don’t wait for me to disappear before you know my existence

One said I love you and the era of casual breakup, tell me what the fuck is true love.

Recalling happiness, breakup is as false as an illusion.

Women should not have too good a memory. The more memories they have, the less happiness they will have.

Habits are habits, and no one can throw habits out the window.

Forgetting everything should be the best choice.

The corners of your smiling mouth cannot hide the humbleness of life.

You gave me the beginning of the story, but you didn’t write the ending with me.

Many people don’t need to see each other again because they are just passing by.

I don’t know why my heart hurts so much. Maybe it’s all caused by you?

I am a flower, dazzling on the outside but decadent on the inside

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