As long as it is a girl, I love the non-mainstream classic funny quotations-growing up drinking pesticides?

I heard that the more my mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the more she likes it. No wonder every time I have a parent-teacher meeting, my aunt always giggles at me.

Once a very sincere feeling was placed in front of me, and I didn't cherish it. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't cherish it.

The goose asked the goose, "Why do you call your father Huang Ama?" The goose said to the gosling, "Because I am your mother goose.

After running, the teacher shouted: 1 Don't talk on the road. I silently said: Can you talk on the road?

Love is a fever, a silly fever, marriage, a fever and divorce, and it is still burning.

When I was a child, I thought that learning would have a future. When I grow up, I know that relationships are the way out.

I didn't know what regret was before. After marrying you, I finally know what regret is.

The person I love has been taken away, and the person who loves me is terrible.

Tidy up well, don't let a school-age girl look like she is hoarding goods.

Don't make me angry. I'm scared when I'm angry.

How can there be true feelings in the world? I love all girls.

Just because I don't cry or make trouble doesn't mean I don't hurt.

Be a faint woman, not floating or impetuous, not arguing or grabbing, not caring about flashy things.

In the end, only an empty city was left for me.

You are always perfunctory and tired. It's time to stop and have a rest.

What are you thinking about? What are you thinking about? What am I thinking? What am I thinking? What am I thinking?

I intend to save money. My classmate is having a birthday. I will give her a month's membership.

I believe you every time, but you lie to me again and again, damn weather forecast.

I'm tired of living. Who will love me to death?

Put on your glasses after cutting, scold shit silently, and then calmly tell the buddy who cut his hair that it's okay.

The biggest tragedy of myopia is that you can't see clearly when you cut your hair.

Your mouth is really poisonous. Did you grow up drinking pesticides?

I told you to keep a low profile, and you have to applaud me.

I once sang change of heart, but I still didn't sing you back.

Traveling is going from a place where you are tired of living to a place where others are tired of living.

When I sing my heart, tears will flow down.

Behind every snobbish woman, there is a snobbish mother.

When I die, Tencent can stop camp for me for one day.

The world is coming to an end, and there is something I have been keeping from you. Actually, I am Altman.

Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

You said, I'm sorry I don't love you. Please forget me. I said, I never remember, let alone forget you.

Your shortness is lifelong, and my fatness is temporary.

We don't need cotton-padded jackets this winter, which makes children who want to be polite very happy.

When I go to bed at noon, I set the automatic reply to "and then?" As a result, a classmate chatted with it all noon. ...

Every time QQ makes a "cough" sound, I think it's a beautiful woman who adds me, and I'm kicked out by the group owner.

Non-mainstream classic funny quotations, as long as you dare to die, I dare to bury them.

1, I am a mediocre person. I expected the pie to fall from the sky and fall into my mouth, but the discus fell and hit me in the face. Oh, my God! It hurts!

Although I can't be the descendant of the rich, I must be the ancestor of the rich.

3, I want to puppy love, but it's already late. ...

4. Ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school. I was named the most familiar face in the school. When the new teacher came, he asked me the inside story of the school. ...

5. I want to let the world know that I am low-key!

If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss.

7. When I have a son named "Shuai", others will say, "Shuai Dad!"

I allow you to walk into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

9. My name in my girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". After breaking up, I became "it".

10, I am the most honest person. Never lie. Except this sentence.

1 1. I really hate to despise you with my toes. But, man, you made me do it.

12, I really want to control your grandfather's crying myself: "Dad!"

13, I didn't overtake the BMW after all, just watching it fly away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

14 I always wander between A Niu and Niu C.

15, I'm really busy recently, and it's hard to guarantee even one 16 hours' sleep!

16, I left Qinglong and right Baihu, and I have a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

17 I sat on a stone 150 million years ago and spent an afternoon …

18, Wu Tenglan and Master Kong accompany me for the New Year …

19, prices are in line with Europe, house prices are in line with the moon, and wages are in line with Africa. ...

20. The system actually suspects that I am watering, and there is no faucet around me. Oh … I see, I have a …

2 1. Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

22. Flowers often don't belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

23. The current tutor is not called a tutor or a boss, but a research contract worker!

24. The current master's degree is like a grain of rice on the soles of your feet. You can't eat if you are uncomfortable.

25. Now the more clothes a girl wears, the more she shows. The less clothes, the less exposed!

26. Girls in People's College of Literature have many inexplicable elements, and their thighs are still exposed; The girls in our institute of technology wear coats and trousers, and the two of them wrap themselves tightly!

27. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

28. Miss's beard looks so euphemistic that she must be a good family!

29, little ye lacks money and women's simpletons, that is, * * * is not wicked!

30. unload the baggage that can't be unloaded, and the road that can't be retired. Endless tears chase the untraceable future.

3 1, thank you, thank you uncle, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations.

32. Be big-minded and small-minded.

33. If the heart has no place to live, it will wander everywhere!

34, the heart turns with the environment is an ordinary man, and the environment turns with the heart is a saint.

35. The heart is full of love, and all the beautiful women in the world are lovers.

36, "trust" relationship, although only a dime, but at least I cheated you in my life!

37. Faith is not spoken, but made. Glory lies in dullness, and difficulty lies in eternity.

38. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it itches but I can't catch it. What's more, for a long time, my soul and * * didn't feel itchy.

39, the hair is gone, and dandruff is more prominent!

40. Not much is needed, but too much is wanted.

4 1, the beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

42. Stress usually comes from paying too much attention to external things and at the same time paying too much attention to other people's judgments.

43. The existence of tears proves that sadness is not an illusion.

44. Shake, shake and shake to Naihe Bridge.

45. What would face do if it weren't for making money …

46. If you can let go, you can lift and lift freely, and you are a free person.

47. Choose a mature woman with a good skirt.

48. If you want to mix rivers and lakes, you'd better be single! !

49. There is always time and opportunity to do things, and there is always an excuse not to do things.

50, must be confused, don't pursue the truth ... Truth is a bitch!

5 1, porridge for a penny!

52. A male classmate who got married not long ago called … often hangs around in the kitchen and can't cut his hands …

53. A person is not alone, but when he misses someone.

When I woke up, it was already dark.

55. You can't eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man eats it in one bite!

56. A woman said to a man, Come to my house and I'll give you something to eat.

57. The doctor told me 100 seconds, and then generously prescribed me more than 200 kinds of drugs.

58. Hot-blooded youth used to be popular, but now it is a dog-blooded youth.

59. Use wisdom to correct deviations from time to time, and use compassion to give people convenience everywhere.

60, cans pull ring love cans, but the cans are filled with cola!

6 1, you should work in a busy and orderly way, and don't rush for time.

62. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

63. Hugging is really a strange thing. When we get so close, we can't see each other's faces.

64. People who use the iphone have one thing in common: I'm sorry to say that it doesn't work.

65. Handle things with wisdom and care for people with compassion.

66. Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?

67. For the rich, everything is fine if it ends well.

Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

Sometimes, when waiting in line for meals in the canteen, the greatest comfort is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people waiting behind.

Some things are beyond our control, so we must control ourselves.

7 1, there is a very old legend-people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever. ...

72. When arguing with others, take a step back and broaden your horizons; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

73, Yuanyang playing in the water, all fucking drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

74. It turns out that when you are lonely, you are your own hand, index finger and toe; It turns out that even breathing hurts when I miss you; It turns out that a person is a lifetime. ...

75, the word fate is a contradictory individual, fate, points?

76. Chopin of Niu B can't play the sadness of Lao Zi!

77. In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners.

78.* * * Continue to review, the rise in property prices is under control!

79. The short proposition between sleep and death pales in the face of a lot of peace and silence. Before it became a cosmic hole, everyone was forced to take part in this poor essay contest.

80. On the way to becoming awesome, I was in running all the way!

8 1, the early bird gets the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.

82. I can't afford to sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

83. In this life, are you here to borrow money or pay off debts?

84. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

85. People who hang up QQ all day these days have nothing to do but go to work, that is, people who are not loved after work. ...

86. Pigs have gone up in price these days, and they want me to reduce the price! ?

87. Cherish drugs and stay away from life.

88. Cherish life! If God keeps you alive, you must have his plan!

89. True good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed.

90. When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

9 1, personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

92. You can find 100 reasons to prove your misfortune; Prove that you are lucky, and you can also find 100 reasons.

93. Gratitude comes first, and benefiting others is self-interest.

94. It takes only a minute to meet someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

95. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that can't be dug down?

96. As long as you dare to die, I dare to bury it!

97. People who only know justice are bound to be broken; Only a soft-hearted person will eventually be a coward.

98. For young people: Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

99. To young women: Marry Tang Priest as a husband, play if you can, and eat meat if you can't.

100, the crux of China's film is extremely disgusting-only struggle without fighting; Only sadness without anger; Only tears didn't cry!

QQ is very funny. Your mouth is really poisonous. Did you grow up drinking pesticides?

Before 1, I didn't know what regret was. After marrying you, I finally know what regret is.

Travel is to walk from where you are tired to where others are tired.

Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

The person I love is very famous, and the person who loves me is terrible.

You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human.

You said, I'm sorry I don't love you. Please forget me. I said, I never remember, let alone forget you.

When I was 7 years old, I thought there would be a future in my study. When I grow up, I know that relationships are the way out.

We don't need cotton-padded jackets this winter, which makes children who want to be polite very happy.

In glorious days, all friends _ In desperate days, there are no dogs.

10 mouth is so poisonous, did you grow up drinking pesticides?

1 1 It is said that the more a mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the more she likes it. No wonder every time I have a parent-teacher meeting, my aunt always giggles at me.

12 I told you to keep a low profile, but you had to clap and scream for me.

13 as long as you are still on the earth, don't underestimate yourself too much.

14 I have been stunted since I met you. ..

15 You know my length and I know your depth.

16 Don't make me angry, I get scared when I get angry.

17 I am not a bone. I can't let every dog run after me.

18 the highest level of cold, blowing bubbles with your nose. . .

19 lovers who separated the two places, you have no result.

When I woke up, I thought the time had stopped and there was no need for class. I didn't expect the alarm clock to be broken.

2 1 It is not necessarily your angel who wears a ring on his head. Maybe it's Wukong!

I know from your appearance that your parents were not serious when they made you.

If my leaving can make you happy, I'd better not leave you.

The advantage of news simulcast is that you can watch a whole news, because you are constantly changing channels.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why not look for them in this class? There are few beautiful women in this class, and the quality is not good.

I am lonely, and no one needs comfort and hug at this time.

Find the person you love, so that you can find the person who loves you, but you can't.

Brother 28 is a civilized man, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.

Don't think that tanning can tear off the fact that you are an idiot.

No one can control its direction, no one can adjust its melody, no one can calculate its frequency …

3 1 The person I love is annoyed that he doesn't love me and the person who loves me.

Non-mainstream classic funny sentences

I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies won't fall from the sky, let alone money.

Buy me 10 cigarettes, why don't you go to a nightclub?

Getting married on August 8, 2008 is a good idea.

It is better to lie in bed and sleep while watching TV.

Give me a fulcrum, and I'll put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I'll resign. I'll give him two Chinese coins and kill him before I resign.

I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

In Egypt, a man can have four wives, which is very tiring. China is better.

You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is unbearable!

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

Life is sometimes like being raped by a eunuch-resistance is pain, not resistance is still pain!

Don't mess with me, or I will let you die rhythmically.

It doesn't matter that you can't get every apology.

I will come to you in my next life, because you are the stupidest person besides me.

I'll miss you after you leave. Why don't you leave?

I would rather be proud and moldy than humble in love!

A woman's wardrobe is like a harem, with countless beautiful women and only a few who like it.

Success is 10% talent plus 10% not being distracted by the internet.

You will be bored if you go out to play.

Smart women deal with men, stupid women deal with women.

I donated a month's living expenses for fighting in Taiwan Province Province, a year's living expenses for fighting in the United States and a fucking life for fighting in Japan.

Is the departure of the stool the pursuit of the toilet or the failure to retain the ass?

You can see the words I typed on the screen, but you can't see the tears I dropped on the keyboard.

You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

Women often miss men so much; Men are often fickle with women.

Most beautiful women are similar, but ugly women are different.

A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard and all you get is a fart.

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card.

Don't look back, I only love your back.

There may be several women who don't eat, and none who are not jealous.

Dissatisfaction is a substitute for vacancy, which makes people have the desire to climb up constantly in comparison.

I would rather be proud and moldy than humble in love!

Women often miss men so much; Men are often fickle with women.

Most beautiful women are similar, but ugly women are different.

A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard and all you get is a fart.

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card.

Occasionally, living silently will feel great, and living silently will feel miserable.

When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

Men fantasize about me and I fantasize about heaven.

When I was dizzy, I finally understood what love was.

Grandpa was handed down from his grandson.

God, you let summer and winter share a room, right? Give birth to this damn weather!

Vulnerabilities and patches Qi Fei, blue screen * * * crash!

A temporary impulse, a crisis for future generations

The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

In fact, I am a genius, just jealous of talents!

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

Buying a computer without broadband is like becoming a monk without eating.