Funny sentences 2018, funny sentences make people laugh and talk about their mood

Funny sentences 2018, funny sentences to make people laugh and talk about their mood

1. I am not a fortune teller in the square, and I can’t talk as much as you like to hear.

2. It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story!

3. Flowers often do not belong to those who appreciate them , but belongs to cow dung.

4. The difference between lies and oaths is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

5. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.

6. Sometimes, it’s not that the other person doesn’t care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

7. Even if you believe, there is a lie hidden in the middle.

8. Real good friends don’t have endless topics to talk about when they are together, but they don’t feel awkward even if they don’t talk.

9. There is no perfect partner, only two people with 50 points!

10. Usually the person who is willing to stay and argue with you is the one who truly loves you!

11. There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

12. Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.

13. Only women and heroes have trouble, only wives and jobs are hard to find.

14. After meeting me, you will suddenly find out - ah, it turns out that handsome people can be so specific!

15. Ask a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" Colleagues said: "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec!"

16. Ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked, "Is there any more unpalatable dish in the world than this?" After eating the second one, I cried, "There really is."

17. When mice show their power, everyone becomes a sick cat.

18. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

19. Listen to your words and save me ten books!

I debuted at the age of 20.0, and I am making progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals, and at the age of 30, you work hard to become stronger. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. Play mahjong when you are 60 years old, and wander around when you are 70 years old. 80-year-old Lala is doing homely things, and 90-year-old is hanging on the wall!

21. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

22. “Dear, I ...I'm pregnant...for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, you don't have to be responsible..."

23. You see, there are always so many things that make you sad: the clouds and the clouds come and go. , joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation. .

24. What are you unhappy about? Tell it to make everyone happy.

25. Sometimes a woman is like a walnut. As long as you can break the hard shell on the outside, you will find out how soft and fragile she is on the inside.

26. Women have a thousand reasons to do what they want to do, and there are a thousand reasons to stop men from doing what they want to do.

27. If you are a fish

28. I like people who are "half-hearted": loving me, confident in me, responsible for me; speaking politely Creativity makes me "satisfied"!

29. I thought that a bird cannot fly across the sea, because I thought that a bird does not have the courage to cross the sea. Ten years later, I discovered that it is not that a bird cannot fly across the sea. But on the other side of the sea, there is no longer any waiting...

30. Five hundred years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. I fell in love with you that day when I peeked at your posture of chopping wood from the window. Please don't blame me for not telling you at that time! Because there was no text message at that time!

31. I have been plagued by bad luck recently, and strangers must not approach, otherwise they will drink water. Stuffed teeth, wet shoes, and dry stools.

32. A heart that can’t be fucked all the time, your uncle can’t be fucked enough.

33. Wearing Hengyuanxiang’s sweater, carrying a melatonin gift box, holding calcium trispermine gluconate, sipping Tai Chi Jiji syrup, running wherever there are crowds of people - this is considered performance art, right? .

34. Men worship Guanyin sitting on a lotus, while women worship an old man pushing a cart.

35. If you like someone, there will be no pain. Loving someone may cause long-term pain, but the happiness they give me is also the greatest happiness in the world.

36. I miss you so much, find a painter to draw you, stick you in a cup, drink water and kiss you every day, how about a sample? Pour a cup of boiling water and I will burn you to death.

37. Because there is love, there will be expectations, so even if you are disappointed, it is also a kind of happiness, although this kind of happiness is a bit painful.

38. There was once a girl who said she could wait for me until the next life. When I told her that I liked her, she turned around and said to me: "You want to chase me? Wait until the next life!"

39. If a child refuses to eat and is picky about food, it is not only a digestive problem, but also probably a lack of heart.

40. When we are together for a long time, we will break up, and when we are apart for a long time, we will be together; if you drink, you will go crazy, and when you drink, you will drink.

41. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she walked over and whispered to him : "Be careful!" The patient said with a smile: "Baby."

42. The miser went out for business and was afraid that others would secretly drink the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I am here There was spit in the cup. After a while he came back and found a few more words on the note: I also vomited