Depression is a hurdle that people need to go through to truly grow.

Depression is a hurdle that a person needs to go through to truly grow up

Depression is a hurdle that a person needs to go through to truly grow up. Let’s learn together why we say this?

If you can make a cocoon and bind yourself, you will be able to break out of the cocoon and become a butterfly.

An unexamined life is not worth living. ?Socrates

Symptoms are just a way for a person to defend himself against internal and external pain. ?Floyd

Please wait patiently before the seeds break the ground. ?Jung

Every person who wants to truly know himself needs to pay a corresponding price.

1. Symptoms are not important

Symptoms are just a way for a person to defend against internal and external pain. (Freud)

Symptoms are labels, and they are certificates used by hospitals to prescribe medicines. They can give you depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, phobia, etc. It is best to use symptomatic medicine. Convenient means for doctors.

People are very complex, and a description of symptoms cannot summarize a person at all. The symptoms themselves are only the outward manifestation of a person's inner pain and subconscious conflicts. For psychological counseling, the symptoms can basically be ignored. The main purpose is to explore the reasons behind the symptoms, how your problems came about, and what kind of impact you suffered. Psychological trauma, what impact did your family of origin have on you from 0-6 years old, why did you use this defense method to protect yourself, how to repair the deep inner trauma, and form a new personality and model to face life. These are The most basic psychological counseling needs to explore the scope of depression instead of using the label of depression, which is mental violence and shackles to the client. Therefore, the first step in psychological counseling is often to de-label: you are not sick; Instead of depression, we work together to see what lies beneath the problem, why you need this state and are causing you so much pain.

There is a joke in the psychological counseling industry: Hysteria (hysteria) is a pit, and anything can be thrown into it; neurasthenia is a pit, and anything can be thrown into it; depression is a pit, and anything can be thrown into it; Throw it in; borderline personality is a pit, and you can throw anything in it. ?According to the broken windows theory, symptoms are like a trash can, and the public adds all kinds of unacceptable projections into it, causing the concept of symptomaticity to become more and more complex.

This article needs a word to express, so I use "depression" to express the meaning, but it does not emphasize depression. This depression is not depression, it is just called depression.

2. Depression is not scary

Many people in society now terrorize psychological problems and demonize depression. When they hear the word depression, it seems like Just like if you have a terminal illness, this person will commit suicide or die, and avoid it immediately. It is completely nonsense!

The so-called suicide probability in depression research is actually lower than the probability of a plane crash, but it is It is exaggerated to the point that everyone will commit suicide. In many cases, this kind of propaganda and words themselves will have a suggestive and inducing effect. Of course, it is also related to social news media propaganda. The news media pursues attention, including celebrities suffering from depression and committing suicide. They treat individual cases as news reports and exaggerate the hypnotic connection between depression and suicide, leading to public misunderstanding.

This kind of influence makes uninformed people look down upon the word "depression", and they are wary of so-called depressed people, for fear that if they say something wrong, the other person will become depressed and commit suicide. Sometimes such a reaction is actually It is an additional psychological damage to the other party.

?Depression? is not terrible, it is just the manifestation of a subconscious psychological trauma state. On a fundamental level, each of us has psychological problems, but some people hide them well and some people do not. Realize that some people suppress well, some people are not aware of it, and some people just show it. From this level, we are all equal. Because each of us has problems in our original family, we all have a bloody history of trauma.

(You can listen to the first lecture in Asu's series of lectures on "The Tao and Skills of Psychological Counseling", which talks in detail about why people have psychological problems. So? Depression? is not terrible, it is just a way of presenting psychological problems. , is also an opportunity for psychological growth. Don't be afraid of depression, don't talk about depression, and don't treat depression as a big deal, because depression is nothing to be afraid of, because it is the real growth of people. The best opportunity is a crisis, an opportunity in danger

3. The three-stage process of depression 1: Reflection on the self-imposed confinement caused by introspection

? People who look outside are. Only those who dream and look inward are awake. In Jung's words, "depression" is a form of introverted thinking, a state of clarity accompanied by pain.

Expansion and contraction are the two basic states of the human mind. Expansion extends outward, and motivation is a manifestation of expansion; contraction extends inward, and depression is a specific manifestation of contraction. Depression can be said to be one of the highest forms of introspection in life. , it can be said that some people in the human race have very strong ability to experience and feel. When many people are numb and confused, these people have deeply felt the pain and depression. Their introspection ability allows them to start thinking, I find that I have problems, there are problems in my relationships, there are problems in society, and there are problems in the world, so I start to feel pain inside, start to feel uncomfortable, start to shrink, start to struggle, start to search, start to search, and start to understand and understand the inner meaning. Only true wisdom and sobriety. Only those who live in dreams all day long and never think about themselves will not understand the meaning of depression.

? An unexamined life. It’s not worth living. Socrates said.

When you find yourself living in a dream, it is easy to feel depressed. It can be said that depression exists in many people. However, please think carefully about your life trajectory and experiences.

When you think about the meaning of life, when you are dissatisfied with real life, when you are dissatisfied with yourself, when you start to look at your inner self. When you are unable to cope with the external environment, when you feel powerless, when you are very afraid, when you find that interpersonal relationships are false and hypocritical, when you find that so-called family and friendship are not very reliable, when When you find that no matter how hard you struggle, you end up dead, when you find that everything is meaningless, when you discover a lot of truths, you will fall into a painful state of depression, making you unconsciously Think, pursue, discover the meaninglessness of real life, the meaninglessness of life, the meaninglessness of living conditions, the meaninglessness of pursuit, and become more and more disappointed, disappointed with myself, disappointed with life, disappointed with life, and thus Losing confidence in life, confidence in oneself, confidence in life, having no interest in anything, feeling that everything is meaningless, and there is no need to do it. The world in real life is fake, and it is not what you really want in your heart. , so we adopt a state of contraction and giving up, give up ourselves, give up life, wrap ourselves tightly, and become a "cocoon" to tightly wrap the soul and give birth to new life.

Four: Depression process two: Contemplation in the dark (gestation in cocoon)

When the meaning of everything is uncertain, life and death are one, if the facts and truth are like this , then how should I face my life? This is the question that people are struggling to think about in their cocoons. As the old saying goes: Put it in the place of death and then live; put it in the place of death and then survive. ?

Everyone needs to find their own answer.

Only by seeing clearly the original me (mask and disguise), recognizing the false, empty and wrong things that I originally pursued, and facing the fact that life is meaningless, everyone will die, no one Only by being at the center of the world can we slowly shed our heavy burdens and baggage and move forward solidly.

Because your mind is very tired and tight, and you can no longer breathe. You need to breathe real fresh air, and you need to breathe. Because you have oppressed your inner soul too much, and your inner wisdom tells you that this cannot continue. The original way of life is problematic, and it will really destroy yourself if you continue like this, so you have adopted a smart way to protect and grow yourself. It can be said that depression is an arrangement of inner wisdom, one of the best arrangements.

Most of the wise men, philosophers, writers and artists in human history have been depressed. It is not because they want to pursue fashion and depression is popular, but because depression and contemplation encourage people to think internally and return to their hearts. The best and most effective way is also a necessary stage. Only pain can awaken the soul. Only by experiencing the state of "chrysalis" (cocoon) and sublimating into "butterfly" can a person truly grow, establish a real connection with the inner subconscious, understand why I am like this, and thus find the individual meaning of life and become complete. of myself.

5. Depression Process 3: Breaking out of the cocoon and becoming a butterfly

Continuously thinking and struggling in the cocoon, everyone who finally thinks out the meaning from the meaninglessness will slowly You will establish a solid foundation for your life and eventually emerge from the cocoon and become a butterfly.

The process from "pupa" to "butterfly" is often very painful. What you face is the suffering of the whole world, the suffering of the times and society, and the suffering of the family. Individual situation and inner suffering, so depressed people are keen, strong, brave, and wise, but they are also struggling, contradictory, fragile, and entangled. I respect and admire depressed people very much. .

I have gone through such years myself. When I first entered college, I kept thinking about who am I? What is the meaning of life? Why do people live? I read a lot of philosophy books and psychology books. I couldn't find the answer even though I was studying books. I kept struggling and couldn't extricate myself. In the end, I found that everything was meaningless, because no matter what you do, people will die and everything is empty. I fell into deep despair and pain. At that time The sky was always dark, gloomy, and desperate, because it was meaningless and I would always die. There was no difference between what I did and what I didn't do. I wandered by the river several times and wanted to end my life. In the painful process, after a long period of studying, seeking knowledge, thinking and understanding, I finally understood the word "alive" and came out of it. This period of time is very important to me, just like rebirth. I can deeply feel the pain and struggle involved, and I can also feel the resistance of the soul to break free from the rope, and the struggle of the soul that longs to fly and long for freedom. When those barriers and constraints are broken through, the vastness of heaven and earth, the breadth of the world, and the beauty of the soul are all before your eyes.

For Asu, who has gone through this period of time, everything is indeed meaningless. Life depends on one's own choices, not to pursue meaning, but to create the meaning of one's own existence in this world. I deeply understand that Sartre said that existence precedes essence. My life (existence) is created by myself, and my essence is created by my life. It is not determined by fate. I have to be responsible for every choice I make. Responsible.

6. Difficulties and hardships, Yu Ru Yucheng

Jung said: Please wait patiently before the seeds break the ground.

Everyone who wants to truly know themselves needs to pay a corresponding price.

Drugs cannot solve psychological problems, let alone problems of inner meaning, nor can they solve relationship problems. Psychological problems need to be addressed from the psychological level.

Most of the current methods of treating depression use medication, which seldom helps the true inner growth. Heart medicine requires heart medicine, psychological problems need psychological methods to solve, and the cry of the soul requires the soul. It’s hard to help people with depression who cannot understand the meaning of depression. Psychological counselors are sometimes just “lantern-carrying people” who light up the road deep in the soul. The road ahead is unclear and the road is long. Far away, accompany these brave and wise men, walking through the swamp and darkness of life, welcoming the rebirth and nirvana of the heart, completing the new integration, and facing a different world.

Although this period may be difficult, may be tortuous, and may have many changes and accidents, let us move forward hand in hand. ?Although it is hard work to search for thousands of pounds, you will only find gold after blowing away all the yellow sand. ?

The sun always comes after the storm. Only by being reborn from the ashes can we achieve phoenix nirvana. This process is long, take your time, it takes time in the cocoon to think and experience the feelings, struggle and grind, settle in the pain, become aware in the suffering, continue to understand yourself deeply, understand the inner subconscious prompts, and face To repent of one's own karma and grow and develop in the cocoon until the day when it breaks out of the cocoon and becomes a butterfly? This is the meaning of depression.

(The relationship between "depression" and the subconscious and the family of origin is not elaborated in this article. This article is not more about describing it from a height and process, and it is not about exploring the subconscious core principles of symptoms)

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Original title: Asu: Depression-the best opportunity for growth, the process of emerging from a cocoon and becoming a butterfly

About the author: Asu, who has been walking on the path of psychological growth for 15 years, Taking psychological counseling as a lifelong career. Founder of Beijing Phoenix Psychological Counseling Center, founder of Changsha Asu Psychological Studio, psychodynamically integrative counselor, and Yi Psychology columnist. Silently search for the wisdom of the East and the West, understand the way of psychological counseling, integrate the techniques of psychological counseling, and live out every bit of psychology gained in life

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