Laugh till your stomach hurts.

Joke Daquan laughs till his stomach hurts.

When listening to other people's jokes, I feel funny and cold, but when I watch them, I laugh too hard. Have you ever had such an experience? Here are the jokes I arranged for you. I laughed until your stomach ached and made you laugh.

Laugh till your stomach hurts. Xiao Ming 1 1. Teacher: Who knows the multiple of 240?

Xiaoming: 480

Teacher: What about multiples of 480?

Xiaoming: 960

Teacher: What about 960?

Xiaoming: 1920

Teacher: Wow, Xiao Ming is not bad, so the teacher gave you the last one …

Xiao Ming: Teacher, don't take the exam. At most, I only have six cards to blow up the family, but I haven't played seven cards to blow up.

2. Teacher: What are the two purposes for people to live? Guess a natural phenomenon?

Xiaoming: Eclipse!

Teacher: What about idioms?

Xiaoming: Three meals a day!

Teacher: Get out!

3. Teacher: What's the difference between investment and speculation?

Xiaoming: One is Mandarin and the other is Cantonese!

Teacher: As far as you know, get out!

4. The math teacher assigned an assignment to calculate the monthly water consumption at home and design a water-saving scheme.

Xiaoming's homework says: the water bill used 18 tons of water a month. Water saving scheme: buy water outside.

5. Teacher: "Students, the idiom' stormy waves' is all around the three-point water. Give an example! "

Xiaoming: "Bladder swelling"

Teacher: "Get out!"

6. Xiaoming is always kicked out by the teacher, so Xiaoming's father bought some fruits for the teacher to send. The teacher always refuses: "No,no."

Xiao Ming said, "You can eat without it."

Teacher: "Get out!"

7. Xiaoming: Teacher, you are so beautiful!

Teacher: The child's speech is really pleasing. What kind of immortal is he?

Xiaoming: The barefoot fairy.

Xiaoming died at the age of 12.

One day, when I was studying by myself, there were dozens of people talking in the class. Finally, the teacher couldn't bear it anymore and said, You write your homework with your mouth!

The voice in class is a little low. Suddenly, Xiao Ming's voice came from behind: It is because of handwritten homework that people can make their mouths speak freely.

Teacher: Get out!

Laugh till your stomach hurts. Xiaoming 2 1, the baby's dream is very sweet.

I am a kindergarten teacher. I taught the children a nursery rhyme in class yesterday. "The baby sleeps in a crib, and the baby's dream is sweet."

I asked, "Little friend, why is the baby's dream sweet?"

A loud voice came from the corner: "I fell asleep because I touched my boobs!" "

I was stunned in an instant, son. What a sharp answer!

2. How tired it is to bring those.

My daughter came home from school and said to me, "mom, there will be an autumn outing at school tomorrow, and our class will organize a barbecue." The teacher said that everyone should bring something. "

I asked her, "What do you want? Chicken wings? Beef? Or sausage? "

The youngest daughter winked and said, "How tired it is to bring those! I will take a napkin to wipe my mouth. "

3.fresh milk?

Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is a respectful name for the dead."

The bottle said, "Would the deceased grandmother like to be called' fresh milk'?"

Step 4 cover the sky with one hand

Sheng: Tathagata's hands are really big. The Monkey King did some somersaults, but he didn't.

B: That's not as big as my father's hand.

Sheng: You really brag.

Who's bragging? My father's colleagues say that my father is the leader of the company.

5. Nephew worships God

One day, I took my little nephew to the temple to worship God.

I am burning incense and his father is lighting candles.

As soon as the nephew saw the candle, he immediately sang to the idol: "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! "

6. Tear down that uncle.

I have a naive little brother who has been interested in unpacking since then.

One day, an uncle came to my house. My brother secretly said to me with a screwdriver, "I am very interested in that uncle." Let's tear him down! "

7. Why did you eat him?

When a little girl was playing in the park, she saw a pregnant woman with a big belly, so she went over and pointed to the pregnant woman's belly and asked, "What's in it?"

"It's my baby." The pregnant woman replied.

Do you love your baby? The little girl asked again.

"Of course."

Then why did you eat him! The little girl scolded loudly.

8. Children speak recklessly.

Six-year-old Tintin jumped around in the study, which made his father frown while reading. Mother came over, grabbed Tintin and said, "Good boy, go outside and play. Dad is studying here! "

Tintin cocked his head, looked at his mother and said, "No, my father's reading here doesn't affect my play!" " "

9. Children speak recklessly.

There was a pupil who had a crush on the teacher for a long time, and one day he finally got up the courage to confess to the teacher. The teacher keeps telling him that he is wrong, but the pupils are stubborn and just don't listen, saying that love is regardless of age.

Finally, the teacher couldn't stand it anymore and said, I don't want children!

I saw primary school students say with a satisfied smile, teacher, I will be very careful!

10, don't let them find out.

One day, I took Niuniu to the self-service bank to withdraw money. I saw a little boy shouting in front of the ATM: "Dad, don't put money in! Why should we give it money for nothing? "

When it was my turn, Niu Niu, who saw me take the money, suddenly glanced nervously at the little boy who was still at the door, motioned me to bend down and whispered, "Dad, we will come here to get it when we have no money." Don't let them find out. "

1 1, toys

The child entered the toy store with toy paper money and wanted to buy a toy plane. The man told him that his money was not real.

The child replied: Is your plane real?

12, forgot to listen.

My daughter is reading aloud, and my mother asks, "Honey, what are you reading?"

"I don't know!"

"You read so loudly, how could you not know?"

"I read aloud, but I didn't mind listening!"

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