The urgent script happened in the canteen. The funnier the script about waste, the better. ! ! !

1. I believe that all the friends who have eaten in the canteen have had the experience of drinking free soup, that is, the soup in an oily vat in the corner with a lot of stolen goods. Because it is free and the taste is passable, there are still many people who drink it. When I first entered the school in Wuhan University, I queued up in the canteen to make soup one day, and as a result, a girl grabbed the big spoon in front and fished it in the bucket. We who were behind were also of some quality. We didn't say anything. Plus, this MM is pretty. So a group of boys put this basin behind that MM. Ten seconds, 2 seconds, 3 seconds ... Half a day passed, and the girl was still fishing. The boy behind her couldn't stand it, muttering: It's almost enough, why do you still fish ... The MM who was almost ready to take off her shoes and go fishing gave the boy a fierce look. Turn around and continue fishing with a big spoon. I guess people around me at that time were all thinking: Why is this MM like this ...

As a result, that MM was still fishing, and when she stopped, she fished out a pair of glasses.

2. The joke that happened in the university cafeteria

1) Can you not hide my change in the dish next time?

2) After eating stockings in the chili soup, the boss responded sensitively and said, "Why didn't you cut the kelp?"

3) Can you stop the cook from sticking his finger into my dish ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

4) Stir-fry the ribs with the heat of frying the vegetables, and then you can eat them.

5) The leeches in the water spinach taste good, so it's recommended to cook them medium-well in the future.

6) Are all the shredded chicken in Beijing sauce, chicken in curry, chicken in coke, diced chicken in kung pao, fried chicken chops, diced chicken in cucumber, diced chicken in green beans ... all the pigs, cattle, sheep, shrimps and fish dead?

7) shredded green pepper, braised eggplant, bitter gourd slices, vermicelli powder, fried onion slices, radish stew ... I haven't seen something for a long time.

8) People in the canteen know that they are kind-hearted and afraid that our teeth are not strong, so in order to exercise our teeth, we specially add a lot of pebbles to the rice ...

9) Today's dish: stir-fried tomatoes, green vegetables, noodles, towels, old meat and green beans ...

1) If your appetite is 4 Liang, I suggest you don't beat 4 Liang at once, it should be- In this way, your "4 Liang" is definitely more than others' 2 Liang, which is the classic canteen 2+2 > 4 theory, which strongly requires mathematicians to give detailed proof.

11) If you are hungry, it is strongly recommended that you don't order a meat dish, because in this case, you will feel that the loss outweighs the gain. Spare ribs are "bones". Before you fill your teeth with minced meat, the rest can be given to you, and he will

thank you very much. As the saying goes, saving a life is better than building a 7-level pagoda, not to mention "Wang Cai"? So the only thing you can do is to use 2+2 >; 4 theory, and then order a shredded potato. If you are still hungry, you can order another shredded potato. If you are still hungry, you can basically meet the requirements until you feel like vomiting. Have a good appetite!

12) I once asked in the guest book whether the staff in the canteen were cooks or breeders.

13) Why are there so few cockroaches in fried green peppers and lean meat?

14) Please replace the loser in the vegetarian window over there with a beautiful girl. We boys are so disadvantaged. It's always our turn after all the girls in the school have finished eating. It's all soup!

15) I don't know what it means to save the leftovers at noon and eat them at night, and the leftovers at night can be used as dumplings the next morning.

16) On the guest book of the flavor restaurant: It is suggested to cancel the flavor restaurant!

17) Dialogue heard in the canteen: (A boy finishes his meal) What is this?

fried meat with potatoes

what is fried with potatoes?

fried meat with potatoes

what is fried with potatoes?

fried meat with potatoes

what is fried with potatoes?

Meat ... (Finally, the cook woke up and added some meat to the boys)

18) Why is the cooking used so much like my missing ear spoon? Where did you buy it?

19) The funniest thing in the canteen suggestion book is "No feeding!" (ggmm feeds each other)

2) We learn chemical drip, or we can tell the difference between drip and detergent. We all use drip in the canteen!

21) There is a big difference between cucumber with stinging skin and cucumber with stinging skin ...

22) There are caterpillars in vegetables and barbed wire in vermicelli. Is this fishing? Or feed the fish?

23) There are too few stones in the rice. Can you add some more?

24) The laver, egg and mouse soup is good tonight! Message from a classmate who ate a mouse from soup

25) What's the name of the girl who sells Hu spicy soup?

26) once, my classmate went to eat noodles, and when he was halfway through, he seemed to eat a piece of meat. He was so happy (because he ordered plain noodles) that he didn't bite it off for a long time, so he took it out to see if it was a band-aid or a used one. After I heard him talking about this at that time, I had to turn over noodles two or three times before I dared to eat them.

27) In order to avoid the concern about pesticide residues, it is proved that the vegetables in the canteen are absolutely green vegetables, and there are caterpillars in the stir-fried spinach!

28) Why is there rice in the sand in your canteen?

29) You don't need to add another wool of sand to me every time I hit a four-wool board.

3) although I like money, I don't always have to use my money-finished hand to fetch food for me.

31) Speaking of it, it's really a common occurrence that a dish can only cover the bottom of the bowl. On another occasion, Xiaoqiang in my dish was missing a leg, so the price should be generally reduced, at least in 1 yuan. I can recite the menu. Anyway, I've eaten glass slag, broken iron pieces, stones and magnetic disks, and I've sold rice ... < P > 33) What I spit out after eating too much is fresher than what they just cooked.

34) The flies are not cooked, so remember to sprinkle more salt in the caterpillar soup.

35) Can you not drown the flies in the tomato soup! !

36) canteen = chemistry laboratory

37) Can we change the stewed beef with potatoes into stewed beef with clods?

3. I went to the canteen to cook in the evening, but I didn't find anything to eat, so I wandered around the canteen and walked to the ground floor where sweet potatoes were sold. I originally wanted to buy a cake, but when I saw that there were triangular stickers over there, I was confused because of reading and reading these two days, and said, Boss, give me a cake. The boss asked, "What kind do you want?"

"Just the underpants.". The boss immediately fainted:) Hey hey! !

38) We are not chickens, so we don't need to eat sand to help digestion!

39) When the canteen is renovated, there will be no shortage of nails in my bookshelf. If the canteen is disinfected, I won't be upset. If the canteen is reformed, my wallet will be hungry. Every day the canteen is open, the flies and cockroaches around us will face extinction. The canteen is very good, and it provides whatever we lack. Hehehehehe, I am not afraid of playing basketball without a band-aid, because the garlic table must be injured, too, wrapped in a band-aid.

4) I ate another fly today, so high!

41) How about changing the name of Chili fry meat to Chili fry Chili?

42) One hot day, I went to the canteen to cook. I saw the doors and windows closed. I asked, "Why not open the doors and windows to cool off?" Someone replied, "Don't you see flies outside?" I waved my hand and killed two flies on my head: "Is there one in here?" "They are full, and the outside is still hungry ..."