A short English joke

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. Here are some short English jokes for everyone. Come and have a look.

Short English joke 1 In a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees:

"The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! This is the key! If you have a product to sell, repeat it as much as possible. Repeat it; Stuff it down people's throats. Even make yourself sick and disgusting if necessary, but never forget to repeat, repeat, repeat. This is the only way to get results and sell our products! "

So, the employee said, "Yes, sir!"

Then the boss said, "Now, what did you come to see me for?"

The employee replied, "well, sir, this is about a raise, a raise, a raise!" "

A short English joke A man went to the police station and wanted to talk to the hamburger that broke into his house the night before.

"You will have a chance in court." The police officer on duty said.

"No, no,no." The man said. "I wonder how he got into the house without waking my wife. I have been trying to do this for many years. "

An artist asked the gallery owner if anyone was interested in the paintings he was showing. "I have good news and bad news," the boss replied. "The good news is that a gentleman asked about your work and wanted to know whether it would appreciate after your death. When I told him I would, he bought all your 15 paintings. "

"That's great!" The artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?" . With concern, the gallery owner replied, "That guy is your doctor."

There is a nerve. I don't know where to get a handy pistol. He is walking in a small black alley. Then suddenly a young man, a psychopath, pointed a gun at his head on the ground without saying anything. Ask one plus zero. The young man was frightened and thought for a long time. Answer, equal to two. He didn't hesitate to kill a psychopath. Then he pulled him in his arms and said coldly, you know too much. ...

A madman got a gun from nowhere. He is walking in a black alley. Suddenly, I met a young man. Without saying anything, the psychopath pressed him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head. Q, what is one plus one? The young man was frightened and pondered for a long time. Answer, equal to two. The psychopath killed him without hesitation. Then I pulled the gun in my arms and said coldly, you know too much …

Give your seat to a lady.

Little Johnny said, "Mom, when I was on the bus with my father this morning, he asked me to give up my seat to a lady."

"You did the right thing," mom said.

"But Mom, I'm sitting on Dad's lap."

Give your seat to the lady.

Little Johnny said, "Mom, when I was on the bus with my father this morning, he asked me to give up my seat to a lady."

Mom said, "You did the right thing."

"But, Mom, I'm sitting on Dad's knee."

We drove through the mountains of Texas north of San Antonio and watched the sky turn bright orange at sunset. At the pleading of my wife, we stopped and walked to a hill, which turned out to be the top of a cliff. In front of us is the picturesque postcard we have been looking for.

During our whole holiday. Below is a big green valley surrounded by mountains. The orange-red sky, the long shadows and the breeze with the smell of grass excited my wife. She suddenly shouted, "Thank you, Mother Nature, for giving me so much beauty."

Drive through the mountains of Texas, just north of San Antonio. At dusk, we saw the golden light shining in the sky. At the request of my wife, we stopped and went to the soil on the hillside. This is just the top of the cliff, showing us a kind of scenery on postcards. This is exactly the place we have been looking for all the holiday. Under the hillside is a green valley, surrounded by mountains, an orange sky and patches of green grass. A breeze blew, bringing the fragrance of grass. My wife suddenly shouted, "Thank you, dear nature, for giving us such beautiful scenery."

Then, a distant voice came from across the valley: "No charge!"

Then, a voice came from far away in the valley, "Don't pay."

Although my mother is Japanese and has lived in the United States for 55 years, she has not fully adapted to the cultural changes here. This is especially obvious when she visits big cities occasionally.

My mother is Japanese. She has lived in America for 55 years, but she still hasn't fully adapted to this foreign culture. When she goes to a big city once in a while, this inadaptability is even more obvious.

One day, she got on a bus in Los Angeles, put a $5 bill in the coin box, and reached out for change. Because the coin box is not used to accept paper money, the bus driver growled, "All right, madam. If you take out the bill, you can ride for free. Otherwise, we will have to open this coin box. "

One day, she got on a bus in Los Angeles. She took out 5 yuan's paper money and stuffed it into the cash register. Then she waited for a change. Because the cash register couldn't receive paper money, the driver shouted, "well, it's too big, if."

You can take out that bill, and you can ride for free today. Otherwise, we must dismantle the machine. "

My mother hesitated for a moment, then opened her purse, took out a pair of chopsticks, picked up the bill and sat down with a smile.

My mother hesitated, then opened her handbag, took out a pair of chopsticks, and took out the money with it. She found an empty seat and sat down with a smile on her face.

One morning, my next-door neighbor began to work with an electric hedge trimmer. Halfway through the work, a neighbor appeared, still wearing pajamas. He brought his own electric scissors and offered to help, which was readily accepted. After the work was finished, my neighbor thanked his benefactor and commented that it was "a real neighbor's behavior".

One morning, my neighbor next door was mowing the grass with an electric lawn mower. When he was halfway there, another neighbor came. He is still wearing pajamas and holding his own electric trimmer, saying that he is here to help. This request will certainly not be rejected. When the work was finished, all my beneficiaries thanked him and commented, "This is a real department."

"You're welcome," another man replied. "I think I can go back to sleep in half the time by helping you!"

Another neighbor said, "You're welcome. I calculated that doing you a favor would save you half the time, and then I could go back to sleep. "

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