About funny and understandable English jokes?

As a new linguistic phenomenon, cold jokes have attracted more and more attention, especially in the Internet, magazines, Weibo and movies. Cold jokes are different from ordinary jokes. With its unique joking mechanism, it can instantly create a special atmosphere. I carefully collect it for everyone to enjoy and learn!

The farmer's bull

Farmer: I have a bull. It will be out of production soon. It has to serve 300 cows, and it just wants to eat.

Vet: Feed it one of these pills in its feed and stand back.

Two weeks later, the farmer returned to the vet:

Farmer: Wow, what a good pill! I gave the medicine to the bull like you said, and bam! It jumped over the gate, ran into the alley and ate 70 cows in 30 minutes.

Vet: So, what's the problem-why did you come back?

Farmer: Well, I was thinking, I'm going to meet an old man 18 years old tonight-can you give me one of those pills? I'm not young anymore.

Vet: Oh, no! Sorry, it's too strong, but I'll give you a quarter.

So the farmer took the medicine and went to prepare for his date. A few days later, the farmer went back to the vet.

Farmer: Hello, veterinarian. That's great. Forty times.

Vet: So, why did you come back? Farmer: Ah! I need something for my wrist-she never showed up!

The farmer's daughter

There was a man lost in the forest in the storm. He came to a house and knocked on the door. A farmer came out and asked, "What do you want?"

The man asked, "May I spend the night here?"

Of course, but you can't touch my daughter.

The man was sleeping when his daughter came in. That night, they did it. The next night, they also did it. The next night, they did it again

Until one night, my daughter said to the man, "I'm tired of doing it in your room."

So the man went to his daughter's room to do it. The next night, they did it again, and the next night, they did it again.

They did it in every room in the house except father's room.

So one night, they decided to go to their father's room to do it. When they went in, their father had fallen asleep.

The man asked, "What the hell is that furry thing on his bed?"

The daughter said, "It's his hairy ass."

So this man and his daughter worked in his room for two weeks, and they loved it.

But unfortunately, one day, my father came to him and said, "We need to talk."

"What, I didn't have sex with your daughter!"

"To tell you the truth, I don't care if you have sex with my daughter again, as long as you don't use my furry ass as a scoreboard!"

: rooster

An old farmer thinks it's time to buy a new rooster for his hens. The rooster is doing well now, but he is old. The farmer thinks it won't do any harm to keep a new rooster. So he bought a rooster from the local rooster mall and put it in the yard of the barn.

Well, the old cock was a little worried when he saw the little cock strutting around. So, they want to replace me, my husband thinks. I have to do something about it. He walked up to the new bird and said, "Are you the new stallion in town? I bet you really think you're something, don't you? I'm not ready to accept the meat on the chopping block. I bet I'm still the better bird. To prove this, I challenge you to race around the chicken coop over there. We will run ten times around it, and whoever finishes first will get all the hens. "

Well, the young rooster is a proud species, and he must think he is more suitable than the old guy. "It's your turn," said the young rooster. "Now that I know I'm great, I'll even let you lead by half a lap. The young rooster said, "I will still win easily." .

So two cocks went to the henhouse to start the race, and all the hens gathered around to watch. The game started, and all the hens began to cheer for the rooster. After the first lap, the old chicken still kept the lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead declined, but he still persisted. Unfortunately, the lead of the old rooster is declining every time. By the fifth lap, he was just in front of the little rooster.

Up to now, the farmer has heard all the proposals. He ran into the house, picked up his shotgun and ran into the barn yard, thinking that a fox or something was chasing his chicken. When he got there, he saw two cocks running around the henhouse, and the old cock was still slightly ahead. He immediately picked up his shotgun, aimed at it, fired, and shot the young rooster away.

He said to himself as he walked away slowly. . . "Damn, this is the third gay cock I bought this month."

: pig

A farmer is worried that none of his pigs will get pregnant. He called the vet and asked what to do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer didn't want to look stupid, so he answered "all right" and hung up. Not sure what the veterinarian meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decided that he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he packed all the pigs in his minivan and drove them to the Woods to kill them all.

The next day, he called the vet again and asked him how he knew if the pig was pregnant. The vet told him that they would roll in the mud, but when he looked out of the window, not even one was lying. So, he put them in his van again, and then took them to the Woods to have sex with them again. According to him, they were all standing the next morning. So, he loaded the pigs into the truck again, drove them into the Woods and had sex with them for the third time.

The next morning, the farmer was tired, so he asked his wife to jump out of bed and see what the pig was doing outside the window. She said, "well, it's strange that they are all in the truck, and one of them is honking the horn."