Where is the sick composition revised by the teacher?

Writing in the examination room requires one go, but due to the limitation of time and environment, mistakes and omissions are inevitable. Therefore, it is necessary to arrange the time reasonably in the examination room and set aside some time for quick review as much as possible. Here are several ways.

First, amend the law silently.

This is an effective method. When the article is finished, you should meditate for yourself first. When writing a narrative, we should check whether the six elements are clear, whether the characters are chaotic, whether the transition and connection are natural, and adjust them quickly after discovery; In meditation, with the help of language sense, we can find out the language errors in the article, the sentences that are not fluent or difficult to read, or the sentences that are out of breath in the next sentence in time. Pay attention to find out sentences with unsatisfactory keywords and correct them quickly.

[Typical example]

The following is a middle school student's argument about "generosity is the most valuable", written from the opposite side. Please modify it according to the requirements to make the point more clear and the article more convincing.

Today's society is a knowledge society, a civilized society and a legal society.

It is common in life that some students have made some so-called generous friends, and such people are mostly students who are not motivated, have poor academic performance, and are overbearing at school. They often eat, drink and have fun together, fight and fight, and they are lawless. They are simple-minded and reckless, and regard the so-called buddy loyalty as an important part of life. As long as the "buddy" is wronged, he will disregard the law and fight, often brewing many tragedies. (5) Individuals often steal chickens and touch dogs, which makes students nervous and afraid.

This feeling of "generosity" is really unacceptable.

[revised]

1. The first paragraph is inconsistent with the following and should be changed to: Ignorant "generosity" is unacceptable.

2. The fifth sentence in the second paragraph should be deleted. Because this sentence has nothing to do with the debate

At the end of the second paragraph, a sentence should be added: "Such a small group is extremely harmful on campus, harming others and harming themselves."

4. The second paragraph "often produces many tragedies" is a sick sentence and should be changed to "often produces many tragedies."

Second, the method of cutting head and changing tail.

This is an effective way to remedy the composition in the examination room in time. The Chinese test paper for the senior high school entrance examination is generally 150 minutes, and the composition should be completed within 70 to 80 minutes. If the candidate finds that the composition is off topic after writing the article, the time is not allowed to make major changes in content and structure. At this time, the appropriate remedy is to modify the beginning and end of the article, that is, to use words with the same meaning as the topic to point out and deduce the topic, so as to try to deduce the topic as much as possible.

For example, a test question is friends, but a candidate misspelled "between friends" and wrote about the communication process between "me" and friends and their friendship, but did not focus on "friends". Obviously, this article is beside the point. After the inspection found problems, some modifications were made during the copying process:

Directly point out the object to be written at the beginning:

"On the journey of life, everyone has his own friends, and my primary school classmate Li Guangming is my best friend."

Add at the end:

"This is my friend, an honest friend, a friend I will never forget."

To do this, the article basically deducted the topic.

Third, grasp the "two investigations" method.

The first is to find the common ill sentences. If someone uses the structure of "zai ……", it is easy to find the subject. If you know something about common sick sentences, you can find them and correct them in time. The number of ill sentences in a composition is an important criterion for composition scoring. Too many ill sentences will lower the category and affect the grades.

The second is to find the wrong word. The first draft has just been written, and there are inevitably mistakes and omissions, but it must be corrected and supplemented when it is finally revised. Unfortunately, some candidates have good compositions, but they lost 2-3 points because of typos and missing words.

Finally, we must pay attention to keeping the surface of the paper clean. Whether correcting wrong sentences, words, missing words, or changing or replacing the original text, don't lose points because of messy smearing.

Fourth, the disease text modification

My family's "barber"

Original text:

I have a good father who loves me very much and cares about my study. In my mind, he is a kind father.

No, I have long hair, but I'm very nervous about studying these days and I'm nearing junior high school graduation, so I don't have time to get a haircut. Unlike in big cities, the barber shop in our town closes as soon as it gets dark, and my father borrowed a hair clipper to cut my hair himself.

At night, there are shining stars in the sky, and the lights in my room are on. I sat under the lamp and asked my father to cut my hair. I sat in a chair, and my father took the clipper in his hand and began to cut my hair. But he borrowed his neighbor's barber scissors and always got into trouble. Sometimes it gets stuck in his hair, and sometimes it won't come out. I was anxious and said, "Dad, when can I finish cutting?" Come on. "I looked up, and my father's head had oozed sweat, so I could know that he was also in a hurry. But he said, "What's your hurry? You think I'm not in a hurry? I'll fix the hair clipper and cut it for you. "After a period of time, my father repaired hair clipper, and I can cut my hair from my head smoothly, but this is my first time to cut my hair, so it took a long time to finish it. I took a long breath and went to the mirror where my mother combed her hair. Ha, what kind of head am I? It's a hijab. I hope this is great. When I get to school tomorrow, my classmates and teachers will laugh at me. What should I do? Mother said, "Don't be afraid, just wear a hat! " "

The next day, I wore a hat to school. Everyone saw that it was June, and I wore a hat and smiled. My deskmate Li Yuming took off my hat, and the classroom was full of excitement. Some said, "Look at this super potato!" Some said, "hijab, hijab, imported hijab!" " "Others said," jump, jump! "I was too ashamed to lift my head for a long time, so I grabbed my hat and put it on my head.

Dad, dad, you lame barber! My head, when will you grow?

Comments:

The opening paragraph of the article is extremely inconsistent with the title, such as "I have a good father", which has nothing to do with the center and can be deleted.

Underlined sentences have little to do with the center and can be deleted.

There are many mistakes in these sentences. The description of the scenery at the beginning has nothing to do with the haircut, which is really redundant. The following sentences are wordy enough to be concise.

The above sentences are not fluent either. For example, the underlined sentence can be changed to "Dad fixed the scissors and pushed them much more smoothly."

There is a big problem in this paragraph, that is, lack of care. The former mentioned that "my classmates and teachers will laugh at me when I come to school tomorrow", while the latter only wrote about my classmates and didn't mention the teacher. Either delete the word "teacher" or write a paragraph where the teacher sees his hairstyle, so that the article can be balanced.

The content of this article is relatively thin and lacks vivid and specific description. For example, when dad cuts his own hair, he should add some movements and psychological descriptions to enhance the vividness of the text.

Revised text:

I had my hair cut for a long time, but I graduated from junior high school. I'm so nervous about my studies these days that I don't have time to go to the barber shop. Dad borrowed a hair clipper to cut my hair himself.

In the evening, my father cut my hair. I sat in a chair, and my father bent down with a pusher in his hand. However, this is a "master" push, and a few hairs can't be pushed down after a long time. Sometimes the pusher sticks to his head when he pushes it, and he can't get up or down. Pushing up, like plucking hair, makes me scream with pain; Go back, but I can't go back. It took a lot of effort to cut my hair, and a lot of sweat has seeped from my father's head. I asked anxiously, "When will it be finished?" Hurry up! "Dad was also anxious, but he patiently said to me," Don't worry, I'll fix hair clipper, and I'll give you a haircut when it's fixed. "

Dad's hand was quite clever, and it was repaired in a short time. Dad cut my hair for the first time, and it took me a long time to finish it. After cutting my hair, I immediately ran to the mirror and looked at it. Ah! What kind of hairstyle is this? Both sides are bare, and there is a big black cover. Isn't this a "hijab"? When I saw how funny this hairstyle was, I couldn't help laughing. Mom joked aside, "You don't have to wear makeup to play any role." . But don't be angry, just wear a hat. "

The next day, I came to school and took off my hat when I entered the classroom. My classmates looked at my head strangely. Because I have an early class and a teacher, everyone looks at me and wants to laugh but dares not. After class, students flocked to look at this and touch that. Some students asked curiously. "Hey, why did you cut a potato head?" Some laughed and said, "Who cut such a hijab for you?"

After class, I went to the teacher's office to hand in my homework, and the teachers all turned their eyes to my strange head. Miss Li smiled and asked me, "Who cut your hair?" Go to the barber shop and ask the master to fix it for you! "I said indifferently," nothing. "I thought: Why all the fuss? Dad will manage it better next time.

Hair, I hope you grow faster, so that you can give dad another chance to exercise.

The ability to quickly revise a composition is cultivated through long-term training. The important thing is to lay a good foundation, write more and practice more.