April 1 April Fool's Day funny jokes

1. In the past, customers needed to fill out a deposit receipt. In order to clearly tell customers how to fill it out, we filled out a sample deposit slip, with the account name temporarily written. Wang XX? . A customer came to handle business, wrote it to us according to the sample, and smiled. The account name column on the receipt actually says? Li XX? . Afterwards, for no reason? Misleading? Customer, we decided to write all the account names on the sample, so we made up one? Do you want to save money? Who knew there was someone behind the scenes, someone outside, and a customer actually filled out a receipt? Money to pick up? And wisely said: Is it on your deposit slip? Do you want to save money? Do I have to write when I withdraw money? Money to pick up? Yes ? Admire, admire.

Second, one day, the phone suddenly rang and the teller picked it up. The other party asked: What's your name, please? The teller surnamed Zhao panicked and calmly replied:? Free from Zhao? .

Thirdly, I repeat those words fluently every day, but in the afternoon, or sometimes I am absent-minded, I start talking nonsense. As soon as the phone rang, he said, hello, what business do you handle? When asking the customer to sign, you should say:? Please sign your name in the lower right corner. ? But while handing over the receipt, he said smoothly: Please have a good look and check it for you again. ? When it was time to get more cash for customers, he said, Take a good look and check it again in the lower right corner. ? That's great. I forgot to mention the lower right corner just now.

One day, the lobby manager recommended our online banking to a customer: You come to see the market every day. Why don't you use our online banking? The customer said:? No, I have no time at night. ? The lobby manager said that his face hurt when he laughed that day.

The account manager's place is crowded every day, and one day another customer came. When he arrived at the account manager, he sat on the computer mainframe next to the desk without looking. The account manager is embarrassed to say: Hello! You can't sit on it. ? The customer stood up and said, I thought it was a stool. It is warm to sit on it. ?

One day, when I asked a customer for his autograph, he looked blank. I pointed to the name printed under the serial number on the receipt and said, just press these three words. He took it for a long time, handed it over, and wrote three words on it: serial number? .

One day, a drunk staggered into the business hall, sat in a chair and stared at the rolling fund market table for a few minutes, and then said discontentedly to our lobby manager. Not good-looking, change the channel! ? The business hall is full of laughter.

Eight, another drunk came to handle the business and forgot the password. The bank staff reminded him to call his family and ask him. Oh? In tears, I immediately picked up the password keyboard, pressed a string of numbers and asked, where is the microphone? I laughed angrily.

9. When the customer deposits money, the teller asks: Do you have a time deposit? He immediately turned to his wife and asked, Are we going to be regular or are we going to die? The wife replied:? Die for three years first! ? Hold back from laughing.

During a break, a boy was teaching a girl to do math problems. Then someone asked him to play. He said, "I just finished teaching her, and I'm bored ..."

After about three seconds of silence, the whole class ... burst into laughter. ...

One day, I was chatting with my friend, and I just listened:

Me: Why are you wearing a condom?

He: What's the matter?

Me: How uncomfortable it is to wear a condom! Don't bring it!

He: Take it with you. Safety is not easy to break!

Me: No. I can't see anything with it on.

He: Wear a condom. It is very comfortable to use!

event

There is a classmate in high school who is very funny. He is usually greedy and happy. Once he went to study at night and suddenly the power went out. He only heard a loud cry of "I want to study" in the dark, which stopped the laughter of the whole class.

When I was a sophomore, one day it coincided with a Chinese exam. One of the dictation questions was Su Shi's "Niannujiao Red Cliff Nostalgia", which was given by Su Shi. Rocky wear empty, surf the shore _ _ _ _ _? Let me fill in the second sentence.

It should have been filled out, right? Roll up a thousand piles of snow? But we wrote it? Roll up a thousand layers of snow? !

When does the Chinese teacher use it? More and more emotional? Tone said to us: students! Xue Lu will have no successor!

Just one afternoon, the bell of history class rang, and all the students did it at once? Lie down? Action (treat history class as a sleeping class and do it for the next math class? Are you ready? ), the teacher asked strangely:? What happened to you today? Why are you all depressed? The whole class answered together:? A secret that can't be told! ? The teacher was puzzled, helpless and angry. ......

Then the teacher went to the podium and saw a stack of exercise books on the podium table, so he randomly asked a male classmate in the first row to help distribute them, which hindered the lecture.

Suddenly one? Sharp eyes? Our classmates shouted: Look, the English representative of history class is handing out Chinese homework! ? After 5 seconds, the whole class began to laugh!

Once I took a bus, there was a beautiful mm next to me, and a pervert harassed MM. I yelled back when I saw MM. You squeeze a JB! ? The whole car was silent, only to hear the pervert timidly say: a JB. ? The whole car burst into laughter, and then the pervert got off at the next stop

Grandparents were watching TV when the space shuttle Columbia crashed. Grandpa looked frightened and said, "The space shuttle is rotten in the sky!" " "My sister and I were speechless ... Grandma asked where the plane crashed, and Grandpa said, Colombia. ......