Couples' humorous jokes are hilarious.

Couples' humorous jokes are hilarious.

Couples' humorous jokes make people laugh, and many people usually like to say some funny jokes. Most jokes reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. Let's take a look at the couple's humorous jokes and related materials.

Couples' humorous jokes are hilarious 1 1, a young couple who are ready to sleep: I'll do it right away. Woman: I'm going. Man: I'm comfortable up there. W: I'm realistic. M: Well, it's up to you! Woman: alas! When can I have a big house and stop sleeping here?

2. Chat with my husband at night and ask: What if we all die and go to hell? Husband said: I will pray to God to let you go to heaven. I am alone in hell. The wife said: You have a conscience. The husband said, I'm afraid we are all married in hell. For me, spicy is a real hell. ...

Like an ant who loves him deeply, one day he said excitedly, "Dear, let's get married. Last time we were in after making love, I was pregnant with your baby! ~ ~ ~ ~ "ant thought, now that you have children, you should get married, although it seems inappropriate.

However, what a strong son he will have in the future. Others will get married ... nine months later, as the ant wished, he gave birth to a son. However, the elephant said, "Dad, I will take care of our mother and son this month and get us 100 Jin of bananas every day!" " The ant fainted on the spot ~ ~ ~ regret it ...

4. Wife: "Didn't you call me an angel before marriage?"

Husband: "Yes."

Wife: "Why don't you call me that now?"

Husband: "oh, dear, you should be happy." Now my mind is much more normal. "

A couple went home by bus, and the bus was caught in a traffic jam. My wife asked, won't you do something for me? Go talk to the driver and tell him to hurry up. I am late, and my husband can't help it. He went over to talk to the driver. The driver is depressed, you are so stupid. If you can hurry, your wife will be my wife.

6. A couple rode a bicycle to the street, and the wife left her husband behind. After waiting for a long time, the husband did not catch up. The wife stopped to complain: You are getting worse and worse now. Remember when you were not married, you caught up with me in less than ten seconds! Oh, oh, oh, health is not a problem, my husband replied: the problem is that I am too lazy to chase now!

7. The husband and wife quarreled. When the husband came home from work, he found his wife was not at home. Only a note was left on the table, which said: Lunch is on the cooker page 2 15, and dinner is on page 3 17. "

8. A couple who want to divorce went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to go through the formalities.

On the way, suddenly, the husband said to his wife, "I beg you, just take my hand and put your head on my shoulder, and be happy, okay?"

The wife asked in surprise, "Why?"

The husband said shyly, "The woman coming in front is my ex-wife."

9. A couple went to the photo studio to take wedding photos. The woman wanted to take a theme wedding photo and asked about the price.

The staff said how much is this and how much is that.

The man listened impatiently: "Why is it so expensive?"

Staff: "The main reason is that clothes are expensive."

Man: "Then give us an Adam and Eve series."

10, female colleague, she was not convinced when we said she was a female Chinese paper. Today, I saw on the Internet that the best height difference between husband and wife is 12cm, so I told her. After listening to this, she replied, "Where can I find a boy with 160 like me?" .

1 1, the husband and wife lie down at night. The woman holds her husband's Yang Ju and says, "Everyone has a watch number, but this thing has no good name. You can give him a number." The husband said, "If the fake person's name is Mr. Jiao, the real person should pay a dime, but he can be called Mr." The woman said, "Since there is a museum here, please invite him to sit down." After making love, the next morning, my wife vomited chicken and wine. The husband smiled and said, "I know you are Mr. Xie. What about your husband?" The wife said, "Mr. Wang is perfect, but he is a little soft-hearted and can't sit still."

Wife: You promised me not to smoke. Why are you smoking again? Husband: Then you promised to give me pocket money yesterday. You haven't given it to me yet. Wife: Don't you have any money yourself? With private money, of course I can't promise you. Husband: OK, this is my private cigarette.

2. Woman: Ah … Be careful, your ring hurts me … Man: No, that's my watch!

3. The aunt of the boarding school saw that the anonymous classmate was eating instant noodles for lunch again, so she advised them: "Always eating noodles without nutrition is easy to lose weight!" The girl replied, "Aunt, don't look at me thin. I often eat meat below."

Several female colleagues usually like to chat together, and once they talked about how accurate their sixth sense is.

5. Man 1: "What my wife and I talk about most is democracy. If my opinion is the same as hers, she will obey me. " If not, then I will obey her.

6. A couple was laid off and their life was very difficult. They finally waited for liberation and wanted to eat something good, but they didn't eat well for a long time and ate too much.

7. On the morning of New Year's Day, the wife suggested to her husband: "Starting today, the New Year must have a new atmosphere and must respect each other.

8. A gentleman strolled around with his new girlfriend and passed an aunt selling fruit.

9. The husband has a bad temper and always scolds his wife. When his wife avoided seeing him, he called his wife's cell phone and scolded her. Later, he wanted to quarrel, which made him sad and broke his money. It's not worth it.

10 one day, little Lise saw a short man staring at a hedgehog curled up on the side of the road.

1 1. In a village, when they heard that a mountain thief was coming, the villagers hid all the young women in the cellar.

12, Wang became the general manager of the company by his wife's nepotism.

13, a white couple got married for many years and finally had a child.

14, I get rid of the bad habit of swearing, and you get rid of the habit of hitting people easily, okay? "The husband repeatedly said yes, and finally added," From now on, if you call names again, I will beat you flat! "The wife roared:" You are a fairy, I dare you! " "

15. At the dance, a lady kept staring at a man not far from her.

16. As soon as the season changes, my girlfriend suffers from amnesia. She doesn't remember buying new clothes at this time last year, and always feels that there is always one missing in the closet.

17, the wife suspected that her husband was having an affair, so she invited a private detective to follow her.

Husband and wife humorous jokes Daquan hilarious 3 that day! I am in the bedroom, and my husband will come in and give me a hug, then go out and come in and kiss me.

I said shyly, why are you so clingy tonight? !

Husband hesitated and said, "game update!" " "

Wife: Husband, please describe your feelings when you love me and don't love me.

Husband: When I love you, I think you are cute even if you eat shit. When I don't love you, even if you eat, I think you are eating-shit.

A: My son is over 1.8 meters tall, which is a whole head taller than me.

Be careful, this is not your son.

A: Impossible. I saw my wife give birth in the hospital.

B: You only saw it coming out, not going in.

My wife is going to jump off the roof. Pol。 ——ice urged me to persuade her to give up the idea of suicide.

Looking at the despair on her face, I smiled sadly, but the phrase "Your courier has arrived" in my heart has never been exported!

The wife touched her bulging belly: "Husband, come and give the baby prenatal education."

Husband came over and knocked on his stomach: "Hello, is anyone there?" I've said it several times. Why don't you talk? "

The wife's heavy slap is: "How can you talk to children like this? Too vulgar, don't screw it up in the future! "

Husband: Wife, I really want it.

Wife: No.

Husband: Honey, give it to me. I'm choking.

Wife: No, nothing.

Husband: I did all the housework this month. Give it to me!

Wife: That's more like it. Come on, buy it for ten dollars, save cigarettes.

He was informed by the hospital today that the medical certificate said that he was impotent.

I clenched my fist and held the diagnosis book in my hand, as if it were a precious document.

He jumped up with joy: "Finally!" This time, my wife will never suspect that I have someone outside! "

My wife looked in the mirror in the morning and suddenly said that she had freckles with a sad face.

I looked at it carefully and gently comforted: "Little fool, this is not a freckle!" " "Touched her head and said," that's just an age spot! "

The wife said: In this life, people have to endure or be cruel. So every time there is a domestic violence, I choose the former and she chooses the latter.

I overheard a young couple chatting in the street today.

Woman: Go and buy me something delicious. ...

Man: Let's go home for dinner. ...

The woman raised her voice: it is domestic violence that the husband does not buy delicious food for his wife!

God, hurry home and tell my husband that it's good to learn another trick when shopping.

My wife is quick-tempered. She throws things when she is angry, but she regrets every time she falls. . .

This day, my wife got angry again, picked up chopsticks and hit her husband several times. . .

Husband is annoyed: Why did you hit me?

Wife: How many times will you die?

Husband: No, but it hurts. . .

Wife: The pain will go away for a while, and it won't cost you any money. Think about it. If something falls, it will break. You have to pay for it. If you want to live, ...

"Wife, did anyone praise you when you went out?"

"Praise me for what?"

"boast that you have the figure of an athlete!"

"no! Which sport is my figure suitable for? "

"Weightlifting."

Husband: "If you hit me again, I will hit you!" " "

The wife took a kitchen knife and sneered, "Oh, have a try!" "

Husband: "Drink Uh-huh"

Mom is, you said it was cold and asked her to send two clothes. She can't wait to send them to your closet.

Dad is the one who immediately gives you money to buy it for yourself when you say it's cold.

Husband is the one who comes to hug you when you say it's cold.

A wife is someone who says "stay in a cool place" when you say it's cold!