I want some jokes.

(1) Once upon a time, there were three people whose boat sank, and then they drifted to an island. I didn't know there was a giant and a group of hungry wolves on this uninhabited island. The giant said, "Look for ten melons and fruits from this jungle. I won't let these wolves eat you." So, in order to save their lives, they must leave. After a while, the first man came out and took ten apples, so the giant said to him, "If you eat these ten apples in one breath, I won't let these wolves eat you." However, when he ate the sixth one, he was in tears. When these wolves heard the sound, they ate the first man. Later, the second man came out of the forest. He took ten strawberries. The giant said the same thing to him as the first man. Ten strawberries were easy for him, but when he ate the eighth, he smiled. The wolf heard the noise and ate him. Soon, in heaven, the second man met the first man. The first man asked, "You are almost finished. What are you laughing at? " The second man said, "I saw the third man take out ten big watermelons." (2) Li Hongzhang has a relative who is unlearned. This year, he went to Beijing to catch the exam and was admitted. He can't even solve this problem, let alone write an article. Anxious, he thought, I am a relative of an adult in the main hall. Why don't you pull this relationship and the examiner dare not admit me? So, he hurriedly wrote the words "I am a relative of nave's adult" on the test paper. But I can't write the word "qi", But I wrote, "I am real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real Real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real "(2) A woman works the night shift and a man follows her. This woman is scared. She passed by the cemetery and had a brainwave. She said to the grave, Dad, I'm back. Open the door. The man was frightened and ran away screaming. The woman was relieved and was about to leave when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: Daughter, you forgot your key again. The woman was frightened and ran away. At this moment, a grave robber emerged from the grave and said, Shit, I delayed my work and scared you to death! As soon as the voice of grave robbery fell, I found an old man carving a tombstone with a chisel. I was curious, so I asked him. The old man said angrily: NND, they carved my name wrong ... The great fear of robbing the tomb screamed and ran away. The old man sneered: "Shit, you dare to rob my business, it's still tender ..." Just then, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground and the old man was about to pick it up. When he bent down, he found a chisel in his hand in the grass. The old man was shocked, and suddenly a voice came: "You want to die! Change my house number! ".The old man, don't fool me, roll down the hill! Then a street sweeper crawled out of the grass. "Damn, it takes such a great god to make a piece of iron ... (3) An 80-year-old woman and a 93-year-old man are dating. After coming back, the old lady said to her daughter, "I slapped him!" " "The daughter said," What, did he flirt with you? " The old lady said, "No, I thought he was dead! 1. The hunter hunted and saw two birds in the tree. He raised his gun and killed one. He found it hairless. While he was wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter, damn it, I just coaxed her to take off her clothes and you shot her down. . . 2. The farmer wanted to kill the rooster but couldn't catch it, so he grabbed the hen and said to the rooster, Don't come down, let you be a bachelor! Rooster: You fucking think I'm stupid. If I fall, she will become a widow. . . There is a parrot hanging in front of the hotel. When the guest arrived, he said, hello, welcome! A regular customer thought, I'll go in quickly and see how you react. One day he ran in and the parrot said, fuck you! You scared me! ! ! In a military exercise, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and Tian Zhongzheng stood with you. Your clothes are torn, and your face is dark and full of tears. You said: Is it worth stealing a cabbage and frying it with shells? 5. The restaurant fly said to the toilet fly: You chase the fishy smell all day, and I eat spicy food all day. Come here! Toilet flies: no common goal, no common goal. What's the use of eating well? How many beautiful women have you met? 6. The Beijing-Kowloon Railway was opened to traffic, and farmers along the line watched. A female passenger on the bus changed sanitary napkins and threw them out of the window, sticking them on the farmers' faces. The farmer took it and said, fuck! This car is so fast that a piece of paper can make your nose bleed! ! ! 7. Have you ever heard of it? I looked back 500 times in my last life to get a brush in my life, and I looked back 1000 times in my life to get a smile at each other. Friends like us didn't do anything else in their last lives, but turned around. . . 8. A woman urinated in the toilet, and a drunk went by mistake after drinking. He heard the sound of urinating and said, don't pour it, I really don't drink it! The woman was too frightened to pee. She couldn't hold back and farted. The drunkard said, fuck, why did you open another bottle! 9. Get up early in the morning, the rooster beat the hen and asked the hen: Why did the rooster beat you? The hen said she didn't know, so she asked the rooster. The rooster said, fuck it, I got up this morning and laid a duck egg! ! ! 10. Ducks and crabs race and reach the finish line at the same time. It's hard to say who is the winner. The referee said, come and cut the cloth with stones! Duck is furious: Shit! Black whistle! Set me up. It was cloth when it came out. When he comes out, he always cuts scissors.