Crosstalk jokes daquan hilarious Sanjiang Guo

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It is said that there is a nationality in northern China who rides and shoots well. By the end of the Ming Dynasty, it developed vigorously, from Nurhachi to Huang Taiji, which laid the foundation for the Qing soldiers to enter the customs. After Dourgen led the troops into the customs, he dominated the Central Plains, unified the whole country and stabilized the inheritance of the Qing Dynasty.

There were twelve emperors in the Qing Dynasty, which could be counted thirteen times, and they were called "Thirteen Dynasties".

In the 13th Dynasty of Qing Dynasty, the most stories and jokes were Qianlong. Ganlong is the year number. His own surname is Essien Joro, and his name is Li Hong. His temple name is Qing Gaozong. Anyway, Qianlong, Li Hong and Qing Gaozong are all his own!

Judging from the "jade spy" in the Qing Dynasty, that is, the "genealogy", his father was Yongzheng and his mother was a jade princess-Niu Land Rover. It is said that Yongzheng is not Qianlong's real father. In Dear Dad, his surname is Chen, Han nationality. I was in nave during the Kangxi period. Wow, Yu Guifei gave birth to a girl. At that time, men were superior to women, and she was afraid that other concubines would have sons for life and became the prince of the East Palace. Isn't she sitting sideways? What a coincidence! Chen gave birth to a son at home, but somehow he was so small. The girl born with Yu Guifei is the same year, the same month and the same day.

Hey, we're all in a hurry!

Yu Guifei privately asked Chen to take his son into the palace to have a look, and then took him out after reading it. Hey, changed! This is the "phoenix for dragon" in folklore. Later, when Gan Long grew up, he heard about it, but he didn't take it seriously. You don't think he is serious, and no one else cares about that!

After all, he can't be serious himself. How come? You shout, the emperors' fathers. Oh, that's ... how ugly! On second thought, forget it, I'm just bored. Gan Long put up with it.

Someone asked why there were the most stories and jokes in Qianlong period.

Because he is in the middle. In front of Qianlong are six titles: Destiny, Tiancong, Chongde, Shunzhi, Kangxi and Yongzheng. Followed by Jiaqing, Daoguang, Xianfeng, Tongzhi, Guangxu and Xuan Tong, which are also six titles. He is a waiter. Generally speaking, the best is the essence. You see: jiaozi is a pill; Eating steamed stuffed buns is stuffing; Eating hazelnuts is benevolence; Eating oranges is a petal-by-petal interval; Eating peaches is ... the core!

Anyway, most things are good as rooms. Qianlong was arranged in the Qing Dynasty, which was called "the heyday". After he ascended the throne, two competent ministers were employed under him. It's martial arts and literature, Manchu and Han. A sit is full of nave, Wu Yingdian university, ministry of war history, do magistrate-and shen. Nickname, wax head!

what did you say ? Oh, why is he called Chief Wax?

Here's the thing. It turns out that this and Nash are both guards in front of the headquarters, playing "angry storm lights." At that time, he was only eleven or twelve years old and was not tall. Everyone gave him a nickname, wax head. Calling around, alas, really spread. And Shen went to the main hall, and some people privately called him boss wax!

The other is Liu Yong, a college student in Hanzhong Pavilion and Wenhua Pavilion, a heavenly official in the official department and a suggestion in Zuodu.

Having said that, I know Liu Yong's nickname. His name is Luo Guoer!

You are really wrong. This Liu Yong is not a trap, not a trap. If it is true, Luo Guoer can't enter the cabinet or the main hall. According to the rules of the Qing dynasty, anyone who has six defects-one disability-can't be an official. Liu Yong, what immortal? Dangchao Yipin, a college student in Wenhua Hall and Hanzhong Hall. Could it be Luo Guo? If it is really Hanzhong Hall, what about nave? No arms, the emperor has no nose, and the queen has only one eye! Then it is not the Great Qing Dynasty. It's time to change it into a hospital for the disabled!

An official as big as him, Liu Yong can't be Luo Guoer!

So why do people call him Liu? There is a history here. Because the emperor named him "Luo Guoer". Do you have an official seal? Male ... It's ... It's not really sealed. He asked the emperor for it. After talking for a long time, what happened Because Liu Yong is a person who can write and draw, and he has a wide range of knowledge. Always reading and writing on my desk, after a long time, alas, a bit like a snake. One day, he went to the temple to see the emperor, knelt in front of the stage, looked at it and said smoothly:

"Liu Yong, if you kneel down like this, aren't you a trap?"

Liu Yong a listen to these words, hurriedly kowtow:

"Thank you, Lord Long En."

The emperor one leng:

"hmm? What are you thankful for? "

"Thank you for calling me Luo Guoer."

Dry long le, said:

"Hey, what's the use of sealing you up?"

"Useful, I can get an extra salary of 22 thousand silver every year."

What's going on here? There was a custom in the Qing Dynasty that the emperor personally sealed a word and received an extra 12 thousand pieces of silver every year. Take the Empress Dowager of Guangxu as an example. She receives162,000 "rouge powder silver" every year. 160,000 taels of silver to buy rouge powder, not burying people? It's called "rouge powder silver", which is not necessarily earmarked! Because she was sealed with sixteen words, that is, "kindness, happiness, end, kindness, health, kindness, Zhao, Yu, Zhuang, sincerity, longevity, courtesy, Qin, dedication, worship and blessing." Ten thousand words, sixteen words, one hundred and sixty-two thousand pieces of silver.

One of the cleverness in the Golden Palace is to ask for the seal of Luo.

Today, Liu Yong said that the emperor named him "Luo Guo" and "Luo Guo". Hey, you can get 22 thousand more silver every year. Gan Long a listen to, oh, that's the way it is. Heart said, I have money, I can't spend it like this! The emperor wants to argue:

"Lu Yong, United for not call you Luo Guoer? I am, for example, joking. "

Liu Yong said:

"Long live, you're kidding. What you said doesn't count. This sentence doesn't count, and what you say in the future won't count! "

The emperor hurriedly said:

"Forget it, forget it!"

You think, what the emperor said doesn't count, that's the opposite! Forget it. It costs an extra 22,000 yuan a year.

On second thought, I really can't talk to him casually. I said "Luo Guoer" and asked him to get a seal. I don't have twenty-two thousand pieces of silver. You can't spend the money like this Well, ... here's the thing:

"Liu Yong, the Qing ancestor system, six is not all ugly, can't be an official. Since you have been awarded the title of' Luo Guo', Luo Guoer is a disabled person. I don't think Ai Qing can use it anymore. Please resign and go back to your hometown. "

It means, you, go home and hold the baby. I don't need you anymore. When the immortal left, the word "Luo Guo" was actually cancelled. Hey, I also saved 20 thousand silver.

You see how well the emperor calculated.

How clever Liu Yong is. You'll understand as soon as you listen. Oh, you want to get away with it without spending money. That won't do!

This has to be said:

"Long live, Luo Guoer is not disabled ..."

Gan Long said:

"Even if you don't have a disability, you are ugly. Since ancient times, how can an ugly person be a big official in the DPRK? "

Liu Yong said:

"That ... ah, yes. Pang Shiyuan, Pang Tong. Health: black face, short beard, bald eyebrows and nose, is it ugly? Can be officer to corps commander, deputy strategist, and closed. Ugly and talented, I don't want to be worshipped! "

Gan Longxin said, hey, he really found such a one! Pang Tong looks miserable enough. Later, I really became a big official. Ah, there's something else:

"Liu Yong and Pang Tongguang have handsome talents. With all the soldiers and formations, we took six towers. But there is no literary talent. Look at Zhuge Liang. He is an unprecedented model. How often do you read Pang Tong's poems and articles? Such an incomplete talent is not worth mentioning. "

Oh, Pang Tong is handsome but not literary. Um ... Lu Yong eyes a turn, had to say:

"Long live, Tao Qian Tao Yuanming of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, known as Mr. He is the author of Home and Peach Blossom Garden. He used to be a soldier and a county magistrate. Is it omnipotent enough? "

Gan Long said, "Not bad."

Liu Yong said, "Long live, Tao Yuanming is squint."

Huh? ! Is Tao Yuanming strabismus? The emperor leng let Lu Yong to gas music:

"Liu Yong, when did Tao Yuanming become a squint again?"

"Long live, he was born with squints."

"hmm? Who said that? "

"He said it himself!"

Gan Longxin said, did he say it himself? What did you hear?

"Lu Yong, Tao Yuanming said he was squinting. What proof is there? "

"Long live, Tao Yuanming has a poem called" Chanting Chrysanthemum ". Do you remember? "

Gan Long said: "Of course I am familiar with it, and I often recite it-'Picking chrysanthemums under the hedge, leisurely seeing Nanshan' ..."

Liu Yong said, "Ah, yes! These two sentences are enough to prove that he is squinting. "

"What?"

"Do you think long live, he picked chrysanthemums under the hedge and saw Nanshan leisurely. You can see the mountains in the south under the east fence of picking chrysanthemums. Isn't this squinting? "

Hey!

Gan Long a listen to, hey, how did you come up with it!

Come on, have no words, so we have to say:

"Since Tao Yuanming is a squint and can be an official, then ... you immortal, continue to be an official."

"Thank you for your kindness, Minister."

Alas, Liu Yong, the immortal, has been saved. Once the immortal is saved, even if the word Luo Guo is occupied, twenty-two thousand pieces of silver will not run away.