Contribute some funny or boring jokes.

1. In Chinese class, the teacher called up a sleepy classmate to answer the question, but the classmate was in a daze. The teacher said helplessly, "Will you?" I won't scream either! This classmate: Teacher Zhi is sweating profusely.

2. In junior high school, a biology teacher talked about the ecological environment on the African grassland. No one in the class listened and said, "Look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know what African wildcats look like? "

A teacher came up with an idiom to describe a person's ugliness. There are many strange answers when marking papers: "ugly", "cow's head and horse's face", "pointed mouth and monkey's face" and "Frankenstein" ... no one answered correctly. When I changed to the last one, it actually said "I like you"

The students are trying to prepare for the exam next week. They are dizzy with fatigue. The monitor ran into the classroom and announced loudly, "Tell everyone a good news and a bad news. The good news is that the exam next week has been cancelled! " The whole class suddenly boiled, and some people danced happily. The monitor finally calmed down the situation and said with a depressed face, "There will be bad news in the future. Next week's exam has been-moved to today. "

5. As soon as you fill in the picture in the biology exam, ask what a cell picture is, and the correct answer is "female fruit fly". One person in my class answered "female fruit fly". The biology teacher held a meeting to study n for half a day and decided to give 0 points.

6. junior high school Chinese exam, the title asks the name of Mr. Lao She's masterpiece. A classmate couldn't remember, so I whispered to him: teahouse. As a result, the man heard it: teapot lid. Be scolded by the teacher.

7. Mr. B wants to describe a person's appearance in his composition. Unable to say a word, I asked my deskmate in a low voice, "How do you write a pair of glasses?" The deskmate told him, "It's just a pair of checkers." After reviewing Mr. B's composition, the teacher saw that it said, "He has a pair of checkers on his high nose."

8. There is a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich sent them away. Only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

9. A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . .

10. The boss and the second child are flying, and the second child is airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half a bag and throw up."

1 1. One day, the eldest brother and the second son went to the theater again and saw that they were arguing about the plot development in the middle, so they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown. The two then bet on the following plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and drank fifteen gulps. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "

feel sick ..