Humorous joke: Don’t you have a vase at home?

1. Xiao Ming called the doctor: "Doctor, my son has an infectious disease." Doctor: "I understand. I went to see him yesterday, and you happened not to be at home. Isolate him, don't Just contact her family." Xiao Ming added, "Hey, you didn't know, he kissed the maid." "It's too unfortunate that she also has to be isolated." Xiao Ming lowered his voice and said, "But I kissed her again, doctor." "That's not easy. You might have been infected too." Xiao Ming sighed and said, "Yes, but then I kissed my wife again." "What?" the doctor yelled. He may also be infected."

2. Jack complained to the doctor that his feet often felt cold after going to bed at night. "Yes," the doctor said, "I often have this phenomenon. Whenever I hold my wife, my feet will warm up!" Jack mustered up a lot of courage and asked, "This is a very important thing." A good idea, but - when will it be convenient for your wife?"

3. Mary: "Since you can't type, sketch, or organize files...then why does your boss pay you so much? "A high salary?" Alice: "Because I can't get pregnant!"

4. Woman: "Why were you so obedient to me before, but you quarreled with me just three days after we got married?" Two days of fighting?" Man: "Because my patience has its limits."

5. Wife: "I am your wife because no one else sympathizes with you." Husband: "You. I finally succeeded in something. Now everyone sympathizes with me because of it." 6. There was a widow who had been widowed for a long time and could not bear to be lonely. So she decided to get married, so she put forward the conditions for marriage: 1. You can't hit her; 2. You can't leave her; 3. You have to be good at doing that. The next day, a man with no arms or legs came to her. The widow was surprised and asked him what conditions he met. The man replied: "Look, I can't hit you without my hands, and I can't leave you without my legs. As for that... can you think about what I used to knock on the door just now?"

7. A man went to drink and saw a donkey standing in the bar with a jar of coins on it, so he asked the shopkeeper why. The shopkeeper said: "If you put a coin in the jar and make the donkey laugh, you can take the whole jar of coins." The man agreed, and he put a coin in the jar and led the donkey out of the store. After a while, the donkey was brought back again. At this time, the donkey kept laughing. The shopkeeper said, "Okay, the money is yours." A week later, the man came to the bar again and saw another jar of coins in the shop, so he asked why. "Well," said the shopkeeper, "the donkey hasn't stopped laughing since you last came here, so if you can make the donkey stop laughing, this jar of coins is yours."

8. So the man took the donkey out of the bar again. When he came back, the donkey was crying. "Okay, this pot of money is yours, but how did you do it?" The man replied: "The first time I took the donkey out, I told it that my thing was bigger than itss, and it immediately I laughed out loud; after I went out for the second time, I took out my thing and showed it to it.”

9. A man came home from get off work and gave his wife a dozen yellow roses. The next day, while his wife was drying laundry in the backyard, she chatted with the woman next door through the fence. "Yesterday," she said, "my husband gave me a dozen yellow roses. I guess he wanted me to spread my legs and lift them into the air for a whole week!" "Why?" Next door The neighbor asked: "Don't you have a vase at home?"

Copyright statement: The article is reprinted from Baijia account "Brilliant Pig and Eight Beggars"