Stories and jokes that amuse your girlfriend.

funny stories and jokes

funny stories and jokes. In daily life, when our girlfriend is unhappy, we can find some stories and jokes to make her happy. Then I will take you to know more about the stories and jokes that amuse your girlfriend. Stories and jokes that amuse your girlfriend 1

1. What brings you bad luck every day is "sweeping the stars", what ignores you every day is "meteor", and what chases you every day is "star". In fact, I am your favorite guiding star in the night sky-the Big Dipper!

2. Women's Day has just passed, and April Fool's Day is coming. The sad reminder is: Valentine's Day, he turned you into a woman … April Fool's Day comes after Women's Day, and when you become a woman, you find yourself cheated … April Fool's Day comes after Labor Day, and it's too late to find yourself cheated, so you can only make a cow and a horse for him … After Labor Day, it's Children's Day … Damn it, you have to give him a baby!

3. One day, classmate A went to the office to talk to the teacher. After a while, she came back and said to her classmate B, "It's a waste of time. There is no one in the office, just two teachers." Classmate B thought: Oh. So the teacher is not a person.

4. Recently, the weather is like a girl's face in love, and it changes when you say it; Like the face of a lovelorn girl, cold; Like a girl's face when she broke up, gloomy. Therefore, love depends on the face, go out to see the sky, friendship depends on the color, I wish you a colorful life!

5. After fighting for five days a week, your physical strength value has approached zero, your mental strength has approached zero, your dexterity has gradually disappeared, and your agility has gradually weakened. Hurry up and recharge your batteries. Let's have a happy weekend together!

6. In summer, I invited small animals to have a love trip. Nurse bee injects you with trouble vaccine, Miss Mosquito gives you pieces of red envelopes, and Prince Frog croakes for you. SMS blessing received, please reply loudly: Got it! Got it!

7. Something bad happened. I was followed by the police because I kidnapped a man named "Fu". I'm going to give him to you. If the police catch me, I won't give you up. Don't worry, put away the "blessing" quickly!

8. To be a workaholic, work hard to shine, and be stubborn and tough like the "fighting king kong". The professional boss will definitely appreciate it, but we must also take care of our health, and learn from each other's strengths is the best way to work!

9. Assembly number: Please pay attention to all media friends. In line with the principle of if you are the one, please report to your most sincere friends. This night banquet will not be closed, and the whole article will be written in gold! The TV stations that sponsored and supported the live broadcast throughout the whole process include: Hee Hee Kick, Tripping TV Station, Voice of Sister Country, Peanut Stewed Oil Explosion and other global heavyweight media. Thanks for this!

1. When Tang Priest came back from the Buddhist scriptures, the media came to interview him one after another and asked him: How did you keep calm in front of many beautiful women? Tang Priest smiled helplessly: I can't help it. I have no heart or courage in the face of billions of audiences all over the country! Stories and jokes that amuse your girlfriend 2

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1. A beautiful female colleague has arrived, and a male colleague coughed twice in front of her. She said very gently, "Have a cold?" My colleague was a little excited: "Well, a little!" Female colleague: "Then you stay away from me."

2. My son and his father are watching TV. After watching the Youlemei advertisement, my son learns from the heroine and asks his father, What am I to you? Dad said: You are my impulsive punishment.

3. While watching TV with my husband, a man said to a woman, Don't be so fierce. Do you know that gentleness is the most beautiful dress for a woman? After listening to this sentence, my husband looked at me faintly and said, daughter-in-law, you don't even have a pair of underpants! Me: ...

4. Today, my roommate complained to me that I had been looking for the key in the dormitory for a long time, and it was going to collapse. I said, "Understand this feeling, keys, glasses, wallets, and mobile phones. Everyone will have an experience of looking for them but never finding them, and then they will be crazy and close to collapse." Roommate nodded, and then said, "There's another thing that is far more broken than them." I asked what it was. The roommate said with tears in his eyes, "Object!"

5. on wechat, I: hello, look at your photo. Your figure is so good. How do you keep it in your daily life? Weiyou: P's. Me. . .

6. W: What are you doing? M: I'm studying together for a happy event. I'm so bored. Woman: How can it be boring? There must be a lot of people, right? M: It's no use talking too much. They like playing cards, and they like drinking. I'm the only one who's free. W: Then what do you love? Man: I love you!

7. A girl asked me to send a courier for her and gave me an empty carton for me to pack. I asked her curiously, "Who is this for?" She said, "A boy I have liked for a long time." I was puzzled. "But there was nothing in it. She said that only I could see something. I was even more puzzled when I heard it. She asked her mysteriously," A box of wishes! "

8. Life is a practice. What good things have you done to benefit others and yourself? ""I always watch the selfie P before sending it out. " "Your merits are boundless."

9. My son is in a big class, and his aunt comes to play at home to tease him: He is in a big class in kindergarten. Do you have a girlfriend? Son: haven't you found it yet? Aunt: Why are you pinching? Son: I'm going to primary school soon, and I have to re-divide classes. Now I can't find stability. . . Me. . .

1. Every time my relatives and friends ask me, "Are you looking for someone?" I will be very tactful and quietly look for his children, and then kindly ask: "How much is the final exam?" You know, pain needs to be transferred. . . The child said, "Uncle, my girlfriend got the first exam and I got the second. By the way, uncle, do you have a girlfriend? . 。” Me. . .

Article 2

1. In every dormitory, there is a person who grinds his teeth, a person who snores, a person who talks in his sleep, and a person who sleeps the latest but looks at the whole room.

2. I was a dog in my last life, or I wouldn't be poor, ugly, busy, tired, fat, short, crying and frozen.

3. Daughter-in-law: If Fan Bingbing and I fall into the river one day, who will you save first? Husband: save you first, of course. She has nothing to do with me! Daughter-in-law: What if she says she will marry you if you save him first? Husband: That won't do either. What if she lies to me? Daughter-in-law: what a special code to protect capital!

4. I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late on the Internet. The biggest change for me is that I have changed from a happy staying up late to a fearful staying up late.

5. My wife sent me a text message asking: Honey, what are you doing? I'll go back: I'm exhausted from work. When will you come back from a business trip? She: I'm back. I'm standing behind you. Your uniform beard was great just now! Oh, I'll go!

6. Many people say that if you can't tell fortune, it will get thinner and thinner. However, sometimes we have to believe. In the past, the fortune teller said that I was 27 years old and I was wearing a yellow robe. I was accompanied by delicacies every day, and I had transportation when I went out. Now I am delivering takeout in the US Mission, which is too accurate!

7. When my wife saw her son playing, she said, "Mom will test you. If you know it, I'll let you play. If not, I'll do my homework." The wife then asked, "How much is 4 plus 16?" Son: "2" daughter-in-law took out a dollar and said, "That's clever, even if it comes out so soon. Give you a dollar to buy popsicles. " Son: "mom, please ask a few more questions!" I asked my dad to do the math. "I heard a sour nose. It's really my son. I know that my distressed dad doesn't have pocket money.

8. Ideal is like underwear. You should have it, but you can't prove it to everyone!

9. When I say "whatever", I mean: I'm too lazy to think about it, and I can't think of anything good. Although it's up to you, you must think of something that I'm satisfied with.

1. The boy and the girl sat together, and the girl fell asleep by the window. The boy kissed the girl's face and the girl woke up. What a beautiful picture, if they know each other.