Who helps to collect "Ge You style" jokes?

Before you, I was not confused. After you, I was confused.

"Is this (poison) the most poisonous?" "no" "what is that?" "people's hearts."

"I don't learn from him. Our country is based on sincerity, and I will send a true gentleman. " -Ge You

"You are the queen, the mother instrument is the world, but you still sleep with the quilt." -Ge You

"I want to say three words, that is, to be loyal to principles, to be righteous in the Spring and Autumn Period, and to do justice for heaven." -Ge You

"Is the flame of revenge let you through the valley of death, or your melancholy touched the hearts of women, let them maintain your life? All kinds of calculations are not as good as a simple heart. Ah! Brother! Is your soul really protecting your son ... If so, then I will give you back your dignity! " -Ge You

Ge You: No, it's just a piece of ice. I have melted.

Zhang Ziyi: But it's a fire, a fire in your throat.

Ge You: Then swallow it. Warm heart

Even if everyone abandons you, I won't, and love won't-Zhou Xun.

dreamworks

The landlord has no surplus grain.

I won't tell you if you kill me!

A marriage without love is unhappy, and a marriage without a house is even more unhappy.

General, we haven't eaten ice cream for a week. Even coca-cola is not original! It is said that all the camel cigarettes supplied to us are in Antwerp, and those bad guys in the back wholesale them to Daoye, Belgium. Even our chewing gum is chewed in the mouths of those Italian prostitutes. Oh, our mouths stink. We can't kiss those Parisians who welcome us!

Excuse me, does your VCD player have super error correction function? Then I'm sorry. We don't accept advertisements with super error correction function ...! Super error correction is super piracy, and genuine VCD does not need super error correction! ! !

［said when making an appointment］ (let's) not leave without seeing each other/Be There or Be Square

You think striptease is just shameless? Everyone should be able to split upside down, how high a person can be easily lifted with one leg!

China people are used to putting their first names in the back and their surnames in the front to show their respect for their ancestors, while Americans, on the other hand, are used to putting their first names in front of their surnames to show their respect for themselves.

Is it XXX? It's XXX, and you're still here. The night gave me black eyes and I saw you looking at me. You are as transparent as ice in a glass ... my eyes are dark, and I can only see light in my dreams. Back to my glorious memory, I dreamed of you several times, and you stood in front of me so clearly. When I wake up, my heart ached.

Your greatest advantage is that you can be loyal to your family at a critical moment and turn your back when you say it. With a little training, a terrorist organization can be established, which is more than enough.

Ah, I see it again. This is the power of love!

The night gave me black eyes, but I greeted the light with my nostrils.

"This is the Himalayas, this is Nepal, and this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau. Due to the influence of the warm and humid air current in the Indian Ocean, the kingdom of Nepal is warm and humid, with four seasons like spring, while the northern foothills are covered with snow all year round because of the cold. If you open a passage along the mountainside and bring moisture to this side of the mountain, then the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau in China will become a land of fish and rice! "

Ge You's classic lines: endless.

"Good, good, good!"

-Viagra, do you want to throw up? -Yes, but I can't bear it. Thirteen, Louis's, 8000 yuan a bottle, I can't bear to throw up.

Look, this is a typical mania. You are like a good person when you are not sick. It is dangerous for such a person to join the society! Take it off!

Can you make it chronic? Now that medicine is so developed, it will definitely become chronic!

a sigh

When I was young, I had a wicked heart, but I didn't have the guts to be a thief. When you are old, you have a thief's heart and no thief's guts.

These are two feelings. When I sleep at night, I touch your hand, just like touching my own. I don't feel anything, but sawing your hand hurts as much as sawing mine. You girls are my relatives, she is my lover, both sides are equally heavy, and no one can replace anyone.

mobile phone

Be kind.

Sleeping in the same bed for more than 20 years does have some aesthetic fatigue.

Are you in a meeting? That's right. Is it inconvenient to talk? Ah. Then I'll say you listen. All right. I miss you. oh Did you miss me? Ah. You were really bad yesterday. Hello. Give me a kiss. Dare not? Then I will kiss you. Did you hear that? I heard you.

World without thieves.

Organized and undisciplined

2 1 what is the most lacking in the century? Talent!

I want to turn my heart to the moon, but the moon shines on the ditch.

Uncle Li is very angry and the consequences are very serious.

I hate you robbers, you have no technical content at all!

big shot

What is a master? Just eight words, maverick and grandstanding!

Anyone who wants to make money from e-commerce is a fool, and the website has to take money, and it is reluctant to let the children be caught. Hire a few swearing gunmen at a high salary, and then find a few cultural celebrities as targets. Whoever shoots will be destroyed! What does the website rely on? It depends on the click rate. If the click rate goes up, the next home will follow. How much money you throw in, plus a zero (sub), and sell it directly to the next home. I also tell you that some people talk about buying and cashing in immediately, and you can't even talk about giving you stocks. If you are interested in investing 8 million to10 million, I dare not say more, earning 100 million a year. I said dollars!

You must choose the best prime location, hire French designers and build the most upscale apartments. The elevator goes straight to the home, and the minimum size of the apartment is 400 square meters. What broadband, optical cable, satellite, can be connected to him, the roof garden (son), there is a swimming pool in the building, there is an English housekeeper at the door, wearing a wig, a special gentleman. When the host enters the door, he should say to others: Sir, what can I do for you, regardless of the matter? An authentic English cockney accent is twice as respectable! It will cost tens of thousands of dollars a year to build another aristocratic school in the community with Harvard textbooks. Building another American clinic, waiting 24 hours, is only one word (child) expensive, and it costs 18 thousand to see a cold. The neighbors either drive BMW or Mercedes. I am embarrassed to say hello when driving a Japanese car! How much do you think an apartment like this costs per square meter? I think it will cost two thousand dollars anyway. ) two thousand dollars? This is the cost, starting at $4,000. Not too expensive, and there is no discount! You have to study the shopping psychology of the owners. Owners who are willing to pay $2,000 for a house don't care about paying $2,000 more. What is a successful person? Successful people only buy expensive ones, not the best ones. Therefore, our slogan for real estate is: not the best, but the most expensive!

"No, he (the emperor) has many beautiful women. If he is in a good mood, he can change it every day without spending money. He was raised by the court. I only have one woman who divorced me. My life is miserable. No money, no women is a tragedy. How to say tragedy? "

Sunny day

Joke, what am I waiting for? Do you still want someone to hit me? Are you going to puncture my bicycle tire?

Can't you assassinate me?

If You Are the One

Bidai Sulan: Didn't you say you didn't care if the child was your own?

Ge You: I agree with orphans. Both parents are another matter. It is not appropriate to stick the Mercedes logo on the front of BMW. Something went wrong, Mercedes-Benz parts didn't match, and BMW didn't care to repair them. What should I do? "

Ge You: In the matter of getting married and having children, I'd better be self-reliant and not accept foreign aid!

Ge You: Why am I so unlucky? Anyone who looks pleasing to the eye is either selling cemeteries, being indifferent or having ulterior motives. Why is it so difficult to find a girl without a history of mental illness?

Ge You: What's wrong with finding a fairy? What's wrong with genetically modifying our old Qin family? Do you still have to find an ugly person who wants to escape from prison every day?

Ge You: You are not pleasing to the eye. You are a fairy. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the lover, but you are in the eye of the enemy. Transfer from huasheng forum

Ge You: You are so beautiful. It's a pity to eat it. Why don't you keep it for a bear?

Ge You repented for four hours, and the priest couldn't stand it.

Father: Our church is too small for his big sin. There is a bigger church in front of it.