Who has any cold jokes? It needs to be cold enough. ...

One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. Why? " "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

There is also a version:

A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice, and when he was really bored, he began to pluck his own hair. One of them was finally pulled out, and he suddenly shouted, how cold it is!

People will tell this joke: it's so cold; Then slowly, the word "cold joke" came into being.

//I heard the origin of the cold joke, and I don't know if it's true.

Let me write a most famous joke:

Penguins fight peas: that is, the Antarctic expedition asks penguins what they are doing. Penguins said they were eating and sleeping and playing peas, but they didn't write it later, and everyone knew it.

For example, once upon a time there was a eunuch who said, "Kill the pig first or the donkey first."

SMS jokes are basically cold jokes;

A person posted a boring post on BBS, and many people replied. These replies are either continued, or tampered with the landlord's post, or made up a similar but more boring one, colder than anyone else. This is a cold joke. The most classic is "Discover the Magic Cheats of QQ".

A polar bear was bored one day and began to pluck his hair one by one. It pulled and pulled, and finally pulled out all the hair. Then it said, it's so cold.

It is said that a polar bear has to wear sunglasses to see because the snow is too dazzling.

But he couldn't find sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, looking, climbing and playing.

Before I found sunglasses, my hands and feet were dirty.

Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find: Oh, I'm a panda.

The stone and the rice cake fought, and the stone flew and kicked the rice cake into the sea.

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who decided to join the army for life, so they made an oath with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and agreed to meet her three years later today. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Three years later, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she can't. Sad and desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and moved away. However, the boy has been waiting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Rice cake! -

Tell a story. Once upon a time, there was a couple who secretly decided to spend their lives together, but the boy needed military service, so they made a vow with the girl, gave her a diamond ring and agreed to meet her three years later today. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring.

Three years later, the boy heard the news of a woman's marriage on the boat home. He was so sad that he threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair. Three days later, the ship landed. The boy went to a small restaurant in the street for dinner. A fish was brought. He picked up the fish and took a bite. He took a bite of something hard and spit it out. Guess what he saw. ?

Fish bones! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! -

Small white+small white =?

The answer is little white rabbit and little white two-

Is jiaozi a boy or a girl?

The boy's answer is that jiaozi has a foreskin.

There is an old family that sells "Forget the Year Water" drinks. What's his name?

The answer is "Aha" Aha ~ Give me a glass of water and forget your feelings.

Q: A rabbit races with a fast tortoise. Guess who won?

A: Rabbit ~ ~

Q: Wrong ~! It's a turtle. As mentioned earlier, it's a fast turtle. Run fast ~ ~

Q: The rabbit doesn't want to compete with a turtle wearing sunglasses. Who will win this time?

A: Mm-hmm. Tuziba

Q: Wrong ~ ~! The tortoise took off her sunglasses, too! It's the fastest turtle again. Oh, oh.

Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand. -

A lumberjack applied for a job.

Go to the Woods ahead and see ... see how many trees you can saw in a minute. .....

In a minute. ....

Foreman: Wow ... 20 trees a minute ... amazing ... where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara forest ......

Foreman: Never heard of it ... I only heard of the Sahara Desert. ......

Worker: yes ... then I changed my name! -

A man left home for work on Friday afternoon. It was payday, so he didn't go home. He spent all his salary partying with friends all weekend.

When Zhou Yue finally got home at night, his angry wife was waiting for him and scolded him for nearly an hour. Finally, the wife stopped nagging and asked him, "You haven't seen me for three days in a row. What do you think?" ? 」

He replied, "I think it's quite good. 」

Monday passed and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed, and he still hasn't seen his wife.

On Thursday,

.

The swelling disappeared a little, and he finally managed to see his wife from the corner of his left eye.

Wife: Before I married you, I was really blind and stepped in shit.

Husband: I was really blind enough to step on shit before I married you.

...

Shit: I was lying there, and you two stepped on me. ..............

One day, Xiao Fang waited at the intersection for Xiao Ye to pick him up by motorcycle.

Before long, a motorcycle stopped in front of Xiao Fang, and Xiao Fang immediately jumped into the back seat:

(slamming his helmet) "Why is it so late? It's been over 30 minutes! 」

The knight opened the helmet cover: "Little Beauty, I'm here to ask for directions, please don't hit anyone"-Ah.

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, we can wash the fruit together after picking it, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit." -

The "towel" said to the "coin": You will be worth a hundred times if you wear a doctor's hat.

The "minister" said to the "giant": My area is the same as yours, but I have three rooms and two halls.

Jing said to Pin: Didn't you decorate your house?

"Zi" said to "Mu": Did your company lay off staff?

"Doing" says to "doing": Balance is the last word.

"Bing" said to "Qiu": You see how cruel the war is, and both legs are blown up.

"Zhan" said to "Dian": Did you buy a car?

"He" said to "Dan": Timid, please hire a bodyguard?

Yue said to Yue: It's time to lose weight.

"Fork" said to "you": When is the whole time? What is the mole on your face? Report.

One day, haha died. Hee hee was very sad and left.

A Chinese teacher with a strong dialect read an ancient poem to the students. Wochun > The Chinese teacher read aloud as follows;

Wochun

Mume smells the flowers, and lying on the branches hurts and hates the bottom. If you hear who you are lying on, you can easily get to Chun Lv.

The shore is green, the shore is green and the shore is dark green.

The teacher asked the students to dictate, and one student wrote;

I have no education and my IQ is very low. Ask me who I am, donkey.

I am a donkey, I am a donkey, I am a stupid donkey. Urd, go to Haha's grave and say, "Haha, you are dead." \

A motorcyclist likes to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle his buttons at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Officer A: Well, I'm not breathing. ...

A polar bear was bored in the cold Arctic, so he had to pluck his hair one by one.

When it pulled all the hair off its body, a cold wind blew over, and he shivered and said, "It's so cold!" "

A polar bear saw it and pulled it down one by one.

Just then, a good wind blew.

It also shuddered and said, "It's really cold!"

Q: A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why don't they say hello (assuming they can talk)?

A: Because they don't know each other very well.

Q: Why do penguins live in Antarctica?

Because it's cold there.

Q: The condition for a company to recruit employees is that employees must be proficient in a foreign language, so many people are turned away. Why did a dog pass?

A: The dog walks up to the supervisor and says "Meow" to the supervisor.

Q: The brush and the advanced soft pillow brush chased the toothpaste girl several times without success. On this day, the new neighbor came, and the toothpaste girl was moved and confessed. Why was it rejected?

A: The new neighbor said indifferently, "Because I am a comb."

Q: Jack owes Ryan a lot of money. Ryan said: "Starting today, if you don't pay back the money for one day, you will lose two fingers, and if you don't pay back the money for two days, you will lose four fingers, and so on!" After 10 days, Jack still didn't pay back the money. What happened to him?

He became Tinker Bell.

Q: A man's shoes got into the sand, so he shook on the telephone pole. Why did someone break his leg with a stick?

The man thought he had been electrocuted.

Q: How to make drinks bigger?

Answer: recite the great compassion mantra

Q: Why is the iceberg just the tip of the iceberg?

A: Because the other corner was broken by the Titanic.

Q: What are the surnames of Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang's mothers?

A: The surname is He. Because he gave birth to Yu and He Shengliang.

Q: Who is the child of Red Bean?

A: South China. Because when those red berries come in spring.

Q: Why did Xiao Ming lose four legs in a row in the car accident?

Because he is a dog.

Q: A white horse is called a white horse, a dark horse is called a dark horse, and a black and white horse is called a zebra. What's the name of a black, red and white horse?

It's called shy zebra.

Q: What chicken is fast and what chicken is slow in the world?

Answer: KFC (fast); Nicole Kidman (slow)

Question 1: Who fired the first shot during the Huanghuagang uprising?

(1) Huang Xing; Song Jiao Ren; Sun Wen; Luo Fuxing

Question 2: Who fired the second shot during the Huanghuagang Uprising?

(1) Huang Xing; Song Jiao Ren; Sun Wen; Luo Fuxing

Question 3: Who fired the third shot during the Huanghuagang Uprising?

(1) Huang Xing; Song Jiao Ren; Sun Wen; Luo Fuxing

A: Both of them are (a), because there is a sentence in the textbook of the American-Chinese Publishing House: "Huang Xing fired three shots into the sky, which opened the prelude to the Huanghuagang uprising."

Q: How to make sparrows quiet?

A: Click it. Because there is silence (silence)

Q: When do people have two mouths?

A: When two people are together.

Q: A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" ? Don't electrocute you! "This university replied last time, but it was electrocuted ... why?

A: He said, "I am from RTVU." (Is it so embarrassing? )

Q: What color is Spider-Man?

A: The red one? No! It is white. Because his English is Spider-Man (white).

Q: After the party, a group of animals went to the convenience store to buy things. They were beaten out by the clerk because of the noise, but the lamb was left there. Why?

A: Because convenience stores don't close for 24 hours (sheep)

Q: Two people fell into a trap. Dead is called dead. What about the living one?

A: Call for help.

Q: Why do people go to bed?

A: Because the bed won't walk by itself.

Q: Barbecue is your biggest fear.

I'll be with you, cook the meat.

Q: What are you most afraid of when barbecuing?

A: 1, charcoal is afraid of fire; 2, charcoal is cool; ; 3, the meat is cooked with you; 4, the meat iron frame is awkward; 5. Ice cubes are very enthusiastic; 6, corn is hard with you; 7. Ma Shu engages in small groups; 8. Clams are autistic; 9, scaffolding to separate cliques.

8。 Clams and plums are autistic.

9。 Separate the iron frame