Is anyone like me, having trouble with the parents-in-law after staying at home for a long time during the Chinese New Year?

A lot of jingles have appeared on the Internet due to the emergency of the New Year this year:

For example:

I woke up the day before yesterday, and there were five days of vacation left / I woke up the day before yesterday, and there were still five days of vacation left. Seven days/I woke up yesterday, there are still twelve days of vacation/Now I don’t dare to sleep anymore...[cover my face]

For example:

First line: Take a nap in the morning, take a nap in the afternoon , and go to sleep at night.

Second line: Sleep today, sleep tomorrow, and sleep the day after tomorrow.

Hengbiao: Sleeping for the country

For example:

Everyone finally lives the life they dreamed of → adults don’t have to go to work → children don’t have to go to school → they can eat whatever they want Eat → sleep when you feel like it [cover your face][cover your face]

Are most of them related to eating and sleeping? Overnight, it was not as if but actually eating and sleeping at home without having to go out. This was a contribution to the country!

But, I had only been eating and sleeping for a few days when I had a conflict with my parents-in-law!

Here’s the thing.

On the fourth day of the lunar month, my husband and I were talking about who would cook. My father-in-law came out and walked around the kitchen with a sullen face to see that we hadn’t cooked yet. Are you not going to eat? You still haven’t cooked yet? My mother-in-law answered the call outside, I’ve been putting up with you for a long, long time! If you don’t say it out loud, I’ll panic! I just want to vent my anger today!

When my husband heard that something was wrong, he hurriedly said to eat and do it immediately. I ate late at noon and I’m not hungry, so I’ll cook it later today.

My mother-in-law said, it’s not just that you don’t cook well these days, but also that you sleep in and don’t get up on weekends. It seems that I am not busy enough to go to school, so I check my mobile phone every day when I come back. No housework was done at all, and the floor was never swept or mopped. We rest at home on the weekends, and when we go shopping in the morning we always can't have breakfast. We didn't cook on time in the morning, and we ate late at noon and evening. We were hungry and had to endure the dry buns. Three meals a day are not allowed to be eaten properly, just like eating turtles. Now we can still move, but when we can no longer move, are you going to starve us to death?

My husband said, Mom, how could you say that? We just have nothing to do at home these days and eat a little late. She has been busy for a week and has to take care of her children at night, so she never gets a good rest. It’s normal to wake up late and eat late on weekend mornings if you want to sleep a little longer. Aren’t all young people like this? You're going to be hungry. Make something to eat first!

Father-in-law said, what do you mean? Do this to us now that we can still move. . Look at how we usually treat you. You usually leave for work in the morning, pick up your children at around 11 noon, drop them off again at two o'clock, and pick them up again at six o'clock in the afternoon. I will keep you busy every day. But I started preparing dinner for you at around five o'clock. I think about what to buy and what to cook every day. You cook at the weekend, but when did we have seasonal meals? Moreover, I have never made soft rice before. It is always hard and inedible. My stomach feels terribly uncomfortable every time I finish eating. . .

My husband said that the reason why the rice is hard is because the children like to eat hard rice, and you usually cook for the children at home. She also cooks a meal for her children on weekends. If you don’t like it, you can order some noodles yourself.

My mother-in-law said you are just a white-eyed wolf. I usually make the rice soft, but your son still enjoys it. Just like eating dumplings yesterday. It’s noon and you haven’t cooked yet. I made dumplings and you all said you wouldn’t eat them. Only two hours later, you are making dumplings and making dumplings again. What do you mean? How can a family eat two meals? . Go out and ask, who is as good to you as we are? I have been here for more than ten years, buying food, cooking and taking care of your children every day, raising the older ones and the younger ones. I will neither eat you nor drink you. Have you ever bought us a thread in all these years? I told your father a long time ago that we should go back to our hometown and not be a nanny here. We spend more than 1,000 yuan a month to buy groceries here, but a few hundred yuan is enough for us in our hometown. Now, I have to work here as a cow, a horse, and take care of my grandchildren, until now. .

There should be other dissatisfactions, but this should be the main one, because they said forget it, it’s not worth talking about. Say no more.

My head suddenly got big. I always thought I was tolerating them, but I didn’t expect that they were tolerating me.

Because they were shouting my husband’s name and making noise, but the actual target was me next to them (my husband usually goes to work every day, comes home late at night, and almost never eats at home, nor is he at home on weekends, and he never does housework) Not to mention cooking and washing dishes are only done occasionally and passively). I held back and said nothing at first because my husband was defending me. I didn't want to start a direct war with them. But I heard it too. It’s not that they can’t cook but they don’t want to. They’re waiting for me to cook for them.

I answered the call. Because my husband doesn’t know much about the actual situation and is not good at this kind of mediation. Let me start from the beginning. I said that on weekend mornings, if I cook late, you can cook it yourself. You can finish the meal and go out after eating. If you are hungry at noon, you can make it yourself! There is no need for my family to be so patient and aggrieved. You can comment if the rice I cook is hard, or you can order some noodles to eat. Sometimes I know that the rice is hard and I have prepared the food and boiled the water for you in advance, leaving only some noodles. I asked you, but you said no. Because I usually work and eat at work and don’t often cook, I only cook lunch at home twice a week on weekends (dinner is usually steamed vegetable soup), usually one meal of rice and one meal of noodles (because I cook too much rice, my mother-in-law may If she says she doesn't like rice and makes a lot of noodles, she may also say she doesn't like noodles. If you ask her what to eat, she will say whatever you want to eat, or she won't eat anything, and then let her father-in-law coax her. she). . So I often have trouble grasping the amount of water and the softness and hardness of the rice. It’s not intentional on my part. .

My father-in-law immediately mentioned my name and said that you did it on purpose. You have never made soft rice. . Since you have cooked at home, we just can't do it. We don't have separate meals and accommodations, so we can't have two meals a day as a family. Go out and ask people who is sleeping like you and how long do you stay awake?

I am also anxious. What does it mean to have two families with one family? We are not at home during the day. When you come back in the evening and you cook well, I never comment on it. If the child doesn’t like it, I cook it for him alone. Isn’t that normal? I made a meal of soft rice a few days ago, and there are still some unfinished leftovers in the pot. Every time I make rice, I try to add as much water as possible. .

My father-in-law almost roared, "No, you have never made soft rice!"

My husband quickly pulled me aside. Stop talking, stop talking.

The parents-in-law entered the room. I called my husband again and said I wanted to go back to my hometown. My husband comforts me in every possible way. For example, if you go to your sister's or sister's house for a long time, you will have conflicts. If you don't call your brother to comment, the whole family will be more relaxed. When you go back to your hometown, no one will come to you for trouble. My parents-in-law said we were looking for neighbors! Haha, we had a falling out with the eldest daughter-in-law more than ten years ago, and now she can’t tolerate the second daughter-in-law. If you go to the neighbors for something, don’t you be afraid of their jokes!

The daughter was in shock and sat down. Ask me on the sofa, Mom, won’t you be like this when you get old? I thought about it and said, I am old. If this happens to you, please remind me more!

In fact, there are many things I have not said in front of them. Nowadays, young and old people rarely live together. We borrowed money to buy this new house with an elevator and heating despite a very difficult financial situation. This was mainly because we were getting older (we used to live on the fourth floor and always complained that our legs hurt when going up the stairs). In addition, there is an elementary school here that is closer to home. It will be convenient for them to pick up and drop off their son in the future. After all, people in their 70s and old couples often have some minor problems, and no one around them can. The children have too much time to take care of themselves. My husband is relatively filial. He is willing to bear the responsibility for the elderly care not because his father-in-law can take advantage of his retirement salary (others can think so, but now I feel that my parents-in-law also think that we have taken advantage of him). For their comfort, we gave them the largest and only room facing the sun (and close to the bathroom, making it easier for them to get up at night). My husband, son, and I squeezed into a small room facing the sun. It was a small place. I can't buy a big bed either, so I always have a bad night's rest. (My daughter has a small room by herself. Because she has no money to buy a bigger house). . So we are not unfilial children.

Let’s talk about cooking. They have to cook for their son who attends preschool at home every Monday to Friday at noon. I cook for everyone in the evening, and the diners are basically the two of them plus my son and me. Although my eating habits with the old man are very different, no matter whether it tastes good or not, since the old man bought it and cooked it with kindness, I absolutely cannot and dare not comment on it. But at the weekend, when my eldest daughter comes back from living in school, I have been busy all week and usually eat and sleep as the two children get used to, thinking they will understand.

Unexpectedly, Liangzi had already formed a knot.

Talk about checking your phone a lot when you come back. The reasons are as follows:

First, both the daughter’s and son’s homework are on their mobile phones. The daughter’s homework must be forwarded in time, the son’s homework must be checked one by one, and class information must be responded to in a timely manner. Second, my son must attend online English and Go classes five times a week and complete his homework on time. Third, the unit's WeChat group may have messages that need to be replied to (a characteristic of current enterprises). Fourth, information on community owner groups needs to be known in a timely manner. Fifth, several study groups want to take a look. Sixth, understand current affairs. Not to mention that at home these days, I have to complete a solitaire for my son’s class, a solitaire for my daughter’s class, and a solitaire for my daughter’s work on the health and travel situation of pneumonia. In addition, I have to answer solitaire for my daughter’s study tasks in various subjects. . Old people won't understand.

To be honest, I don’t think the stuffing of Chinese New Year dumplings tastes good, but I haven’t said anything about it since I was on vacation late at work and didn’t eat it. I’m short-tongued and dare not say anything. The leftover stuffing from my hometown was kept in the refrigerator for a few days. They got up early to make it on the fourth day of the Lunar New Year. I suggested wrapping it up and freezing it. My mother-in-law said she was too tired and didn’t want to make it anymore. My father-in-law said that we could make it again tomorrow. I said Since there is nothing wrong, just wrap them all, otherwise if you add any more stuffing, they will be spoiled (I used to be forced to eat dumplings with spoiled stuffing every year. I still remember it). They don't cover me. They wanted to serve dumplings, but I had a late breakfast and wasn't hungry at all. Since I was going to make it, I didn’t think the stuffing was delicious, so I added some mushrooms and green peppers, and then I had a picture of myself wrapping it up and eating it alone. (Although after wrapping it, the children still said it was not delicious and no one ate it. They only took a few bites). This is what they said, I have two meals with them again.

Regarding buying things for them, when my mother-in-law first came to the city to take care of the children with us, she bought all the clothes and shoes. Later, she found that they were picky and disliked what we bought, so she didn’t buy much. One of the reasons. Those of us who go to work and run around every day have to think twice about buying a piece of clothing that costs more than 100 yuan. Others rush to buy clothes that cost more than 1,000 yuan at once, saying that they have endured a lot of hardships when they were young and are reluctant to part with it, but they want to enjoy it when they are old. . When people spend their own money, we have nothing to say. But our enthusiasm for buying clothes naturally diminishes. But it is definitely an exaggeration to say that I didn’t buy a single thread for them. However, the old couple have been used to exaggerating all their lives, and we are used to it and don't want to argue with them.

Talk about cooking for children. When my daughter was in primary school for six years, my husband and I went to work far away from home at noon, so my parents-in-law cooked the food. They don't like to cook for their children alone. They always eat what the adults eat and what the children eat. The elderly and children who like to eat light vegetarian food must also follow suit. But my daughter never dared to raise any objections. She only dared not to eat. For example, one time when I came home at night, my mother-in-law complained that my daughter had not eaten at noon. I asked what kind of rice was cooked and was told that it was noodles in a clear soup. My daughter found it tasteless and added a lot of sesame oil and she still wouldn't eat it. She was too picky. I can only tentatively say that next time you stir-fry some vegetables for her and add noodles, don’t just add sesame oil. My mother-in-law said she doesn’t think our cooking tastes good, so you can cook it for her. . As soon as my daughter entered junior high school, she decisively enrolled her in afternoon nursery class. . . For example, my son likes to eat egg fried rice. My mother-in-law cooks a big plate at once and asks her son to come back and eat it hot every day at noon. I discovered this when my son got angry and asked what he had eaten for lunch recently. So, whenever I went back in the evening and saw if there was any leftover food in the refrigerator, I would take the leftover food to work and eat it myself so that she would have to make it all over again the next day. . . I heard that the elementary school can take care of meals at noon, and my parents-in-law immediately came back to report the good news. From now on, when my son goes to elementary school, he will not have to take care of the meal at noon, so as not to come back and watch TV every day. . .

Yes, this is also a problem I have when it comes to watching TV. My parents-in-law don’t have to drop off the kids in the morning, but have to pick them up at noon (it’s just downstairs next door to our community). Because they complained that their son’s school time was short and he had to be picked up in the afternoon after being dropped off (which delayed them from going to the park to watch a movie and walk around), we enrolled him in a language class and an art class that lasted until six o’clock. My parents-in-law said they couldn’t control my son, so the only thing my son did when he came back from kindergarten was to watch TV in the living room. Sometimes my mother-in-law would watch with her son. Watch short videos on mobile phones). Sometimes the mother-in-law is in the house watching her son outside. . Father-in-law is cooking. (My father-in-law always cooks. Occasionally, when I come home from work and see my mother-in-law cooking, I am very surprised and ask why you are the one cooking today? My mother-in-law is very unhappy and replies to me, I am not the one who cooks any day. ? I cook all the soup. )

In view of this, I can’t do it at noon every day, so I’ll hurry up as soon as I get off work. Go home and take care of the kids. If children work overtime on weekends, they will watch TV at home all day.

In their words, we only need to take care of the children not to knock them or touch them, so that they are not hungry. How to educate is your business. Why don't you go out? Because it’s not safe to go out.

So I try to be at home as much as possible on weekends. And I made a schedule in the morning. You can't go to bed after nine o'clock because there are elderly people at home and you can't sleep after that. And I also have to eat three meals a day. On weekends, I also have to do laundry, cooking and cleaning at home (they have said they don’t care about the children’s laundry since they started wearing diapers). . . They have to take care of important things at home, such as talking about who bought a big house and who bought a car from time to time. In the end, we are not as good as others in everything. They don't care about the little things at home, such as kitchen hygiene, bathroom hygiene, and living room hygiene (they will clean it once in a while, and then tell you about the fatigue of a long day in front of you, and then tell the eldest aunt that she won't do it if she doesn't do it. People do it). . They absolutely disapprove of your children enrolling in study classes and will not pick them up or drop them off, so if you have the money, you can do whatever you want. So I signed up for online classes for my son who got off school early every day. I went home in the evening and learned some things by myself with him on the projector TV. The parents-in-law will take the initiative (or is it passive?) to wash the dishes, and then sigh and say that they are so unlucky that they have to cook and wash the dishes every day. . .

I also thought that if their daughter comes over on the weekend, they will prepare the meal in advance (this is when I can feel at ease and not worry about cooking). There is no need for them to wash the dishes after eating. If my husband had a day off at home, he would never go into the kitchen, and they would have nothing to do. It’s not okay if I take a day off at home and miss one meal! This is their logical thinking! If I go out to do errands on the weekend, I will come back late. No matter how late it is, you have to wait until I come back before cooking. No matter how busy I am, I still have to cook. Their job is to eat, watch TV, play cards and walk around.

My son asked my grandma why she had to play cards every day. I smiled bitterly: Grandma was going to exercise her brain!

I told my colleagues about the quarrel about being late for dinner in the morning. My colleague said, ignore her, finally do nothing and enjoy yourself. Granny Xie is really looking for trouble. She doesn’t move every day, how can she be hungry? The three of us don’t eat almost every day, so whoever is hungry gets to do it! You are used to it. Usually, Being too nice to them is not enough.

It is said on the Internet that I used to envy and long for the life of a pig, eating, sleeping, and eating. These two days I finally lived like a pig. It took two days to realize that the pig's life was not easy. I was thinking, after working hard for a year, I encountered a long vacation, but I didn’t even have the right to eat or sleep.

Since my parents-in-law insisted on returning to their hometown for retirement, my husband couldn’t dissuade her and called his uncle. The words were urgent and angry, even crying, and my eyes burst into tears. I really wanted to say that if they want to leave, let them go back!

In fact, I also figured it out. One of the reasons why they are rightly arguing that we don’t serve them is that we spend their money on daily shopping and cooking! The economic foundation determines the status of the family? With a little retirement salary, I really think of myself as a god!

Reminds me of a poem:

In my mother's house, my green hair is whirling, I have returned to my husband's hands, there are many young and yellow . I have endured so much torture and experienced countless storms. Don't mention it. If you mention it, you will shed tears in the river!