Eat jokes and laugh.

Laugh till your stomach hurts after eating jokes.

Eating joke: The young couple at the next table suddenly quarreled, and then my forehead was smashed by a piece of braised pork ribs. As a foodie, I suddenly got angry and shouted at them: Mom, Dan. I dare you to choose meat! ?

Laugh at your stomach 1 1. I want to find someone to fall in love with, just because the food in some places is not suitable for one person to eat, especially those activities with a second half price, and it is difficult to put it down!

2. I had dinner with a very familiar customer yesterday and ordered steak.

There were two steaks when they served them. Customer:? You can't eat so much by yourself! ?

Me:? I can eat. I can eat. ?

He said flatly:? Can't eat! ?

I also strongly reply:? I can eat. ?

My colleague rolled his eyes at me: you are stupid! He means give him a piece! ?

I also returned a supercilious look: you are stupid! I won't give it! ?

My friend sent me an expensive cup of coffee. I just made a cup and took the opportunity to educate my brother. Life is like this cup of coffee. You smell sweet, but I taste bitter. ?

The younger brother said: Brother, you smell the fragrance and I'll have coffee. ?

4. I am a foodie. I usually eat whatever I see.

My mother said that she was twins when she was pregnant with me, and then she gave birth to me somehow.

I quarreled with my wife today and ignored me for a day. In the evening, I coaxed him At first, the reason was invalid, but later, the effect of admitting mistakes and apologizing was average. I'm in a hurry: Baby bought you trotters with sauce!

A: Two!

Well, it's better to talk so much than two sauced pig's feet!

6. I bought peanuts to eat with my roommate today. When I saw that one of them was bad, I put it aside. I didn't expect my roommate to just stop eating.

Me: Shit, that's terrible!

Chihuo: I know, I just want to eat it and see if it is really broken, otherwise it will be wasted.

Me: Isn't that good?

Chihuo: Not bad. Can eat.

Have a meal. Daquan burst into laughter. Can a 2 3-year-old child swear? Trying to get me drunk

This year's Spring Festival, relatives and friends get together for dinner. During the dinner, they teased a 3-year-old neighbor to drink. The child took a sip of wine and swore, you old slick, trying to get me drunk? And then he ran away. -How embarrassing! ...

Cunning cousin

I remember when I was two or three years old, my family once went to my cousin's house for dinner. My cousin told me cunningly: There is a hole under your bowl. So I stupidly turned over the bowl full of rice ... My cousin didn't come to a good end and was beaten by fat, hehe. ...

Press the wrong number.

It is much more convenient for a mobile phone to have shortcut keys. The mobile phone numbers of son and father have shortcut keys 1 and 2 respectively. Once a guest came to my house, I called my son and asked him to go home for dinner. As a result, I pressed the wrong button and called my father's mobile phone. Son, go home for dinner at noon. Then, my father's voice came from my mobile phone: When did I become your son? Explain to your dad quickly. soon ...

My treat, you pay.

Today, I invited the leaders to dinner after work. When I checked out, I found that my wallet was only 15 yuan. I was embarrassed, and later I let the leader pay in advance. After dinner, I went to the bank to take money to the leader. If the leader didn't want it, I forced it on him. I feel so embarrassed now ~ ~ ~-so embarrassed! ...

Girlfriend's boyfriend?

Today, I saw my girlfriend's QQ in college online, so I talked to her. Her roommate replied, I'm not XX. XX has just finished eating with her boyfriend and will be right back. While I live in Guangzhou, she studies in Beijing. -How embarrassing! ..

I will be more ladylike than you.

A classmate in college, a girl from Northeast China, is quite cute when she gets serious with others. I remember once having dinner with her in the canteen. A beautiful woman came next to her, carrying a plate of jiaozi. She ate slowly. My roommate whispered to me that I dared to pretend to be a lady in front of my mother. I want to be more lady than you! After that, I really ate slower than that woman. I had dinner with her for an hour. What a sweat ...

The ketchup is in my eyes.

One day at dinner, buddy A teased another buddy B ... A pretended to chop the ketchup bottle in the restaurant ... I didn't know that I put the cap on it first, but I poured the ketchup on A's face and it got into my eyes ... So the buddy immediately checked out and helped him to wash his eyes in the school doctor's office ... As soon as he entered the door, the school doctor looked at this posture (several men rushed in with a person covered in ketchup). ...

Go to the restaurant to grab food.

In junior high school, I was very happy with those boys. I remember everyone was a wolf. Every time we go to a restaurant together, the food is immediately taken away by others and put into a bowl ... at first, it was very uncomfortable, and I often ate half a bowl of rice ... in the end, I was the most fierce. -How embarrassing! ...

My mother asked you to come to my house for dinner at noon.

When I was in the fifth grade of primary school, my cousin was in the second grade of high school (our school can go from primary school to high school). One day, my mother killed a chicken and wanted me to go home for dinner with my cousin after school at noon. I went to see my cousin. They didn't want to wait for class, so I shouted outside the door: Report! The teacher in class replied, I pushed the door and went in, saying ...

Eat wet wipes for dessert before meals.

I seldom eat out at ordinary times. On this day, I went to a high-class restaurant in the city for dinner at the annual awards party of the unit. After everyone was seated, the waiter brought a plate of wet wipes, which were beautifully rolled and neatly placed with bar codes. When I started eating, because I had never seen it before, I put a roll in my mouth and swallowed it, including leaders and people from other units. What a pity! ...

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