What are the funny metaphysical jokes in the audio fever circle?

There are many jokes in metaphysics, many of which are very funny. For example, the ultimate cause of fever is burning hearing AIDS, and the placement of the machine should conform to the magnetic induction line of the earth. Of course, the most famous thing is to listen to hydropower and thermal power. Here are some simple humorous jokes on the Internet.

Something is making a sound under the CD player. Later, it was extended to speakers. (what if you put shit? An enthusiast once told me that if you put a sponge under the digital mixer, the sound will be very soft ... (Later, I told a vocal music professional friend, remember, wearing high heels and flat shoes will definitely make a different sound ...)

The sound of the computer case is different when it is placed horizontally and vertically.

The same Wav file, put on Seagate's hard disk, has better sound quality than on Western Digital's hard disk. Even if it is the same hard disk, the sound quality on disk C and D is different. ..

The audio cable has a direction, and it will not look good if it is connected backwards. Not only the audio cable, but also the power cable has a direction. Changing a good power cord can improve the sound quality. If the power cord is fitted with a magnetic ring (metaphysically called "Lord of the Rings"), the sound quality will be better. ...

There is a kind called "CD oil", which immediately increases the sound by several decibels after being coated with CD (Oh, my God, Viagra? ) Then there is the CD magic pen. Draw a picture on the side of the CD, and it will be immediate ... Then there is the CD hook and loop, which will be effective as soon as it is posted.

If you freeze the CD in the refrigerator, the sound will get better. This is no longer a rare thing. At present, when the CD is irradiated by the strong light of the camera flash, the sound field of the CD will be widened and the sound will be improved by 3 decibels. If you think that "illuminating a CD with strong light" is very fresh, then you are really old-fashioned!

Finally familiar with the ultimate edition of hydropower.

Real HIFI friends only use hydropower from the Yarlung Zangbo River.

Advantages: just one power amplifier, and the last thing to play is the power supply. Thermal power is stronger, the sound is warmer, and the sound floor of hydropower is colder, but the resolution is high. In hydropower, Gezhouba has the best electric sound quality, and Beilun Power Plant has the best, because the proportion of burning anthracite is the highest. 2) The sound of the same set of equipment is a little cold from 8 pm to 10 pm, and it is obviously warm after 1 1 pm. Later, it was discovered that the peak electricity used hydropower from other provinces, and the low electricity was mainly local thermal power, which is indisputable!

Disadvantages: 3) Poor electrical layering and hazy hearing caused by wind. Listening to food can be compared with the driver's A major and B minor. sound stage obviously contracted and the violin department was mixed.

Summary: 4) The timbre of a single wind turbine below 500w is thin, and the three-phase electricity has little to do with timbre. The key is balance. The symphony of three-phase electricity is obviously more stable than that of two-phase electricity! Nuclear power is suitable for movies like Terminator. But unfortunately, water, fire, wind and nuclear power are all connected to the national grid, so all kinds of voices are mixed.

For this reason, a burning friend moved from Shanghai to Guangzhou, and his voice was much better, because the southern power grid is dominated by Daya Bay nuclear power and Guangdong-Guangxi hydropower, and the voice is strong and clear. It is planned to invest in the construction of the Yarlung Zangbo River hydropower station which is independent and not connected to the grid in the near future. Snow Mountain Tianshui will completely transform the sound system. However, the feasibility study report was opposed by India. Solar power generation, what's the difference? The sound is warm, not cold, but a little thin! Xiangzi, one of the most experienced earphone enthusiasts in China, auditioned the iron triangle AT-AT-HA25D audio-technica)AD2000 earphone one day, and suddenly took off the earphone and said, "I can't listen to it today, and the water level of the hydropower station must have risen again", which made other burning friends present dumbfounded!

Really experienced enthusiasts don't need AC power supply, because the noise generated in the process of rectification and filtering will cause shocks and must be powered by batteries. Moreover, rechargeable batteries can not be used, because the voltage fluctuation caused by grid fluctuation is cumulative when charging, and grid harmonics will increase the activity of electrolyte and affect the discharge effect when charging. Therefore, using rechargeable batteries to listen to songs, although the bass and alto are acceptable, the treble is a bit harsh, so I can't listen to music, so I can only listen to Zhao Benshan's sketches, and only people who cooperate with Fan Wei.

Only dry batteries can be used. Because dry batteries are characterized by being slightly dry and the high notes are not bright, they are generally heated in water bath, and the temperature is generally 87.35 degrees. Moreover, the greater the power of the dry battery, the better, and the sound is full and rich. Enthusiasts of ashes are all custom-made dry batteries, which are used the most, with a diameter of more than 200 mm and a height of more than 300 mm.

Later, the battery factory scrapped the mold for producing batteries and sold it to the bucket factory. Black-hearted bucket factory has developed a new type of bucket with a capacity of 5 gallons, which is the bucket of bottled water we use now. This set of molds was originally used for batteries, but it was polluted by mercury, so the bottled water tasted like mercury.

The largest dry cell directly refers to the specification of crude oil barrel. Nearly 160 liters of big guy, 20 in series. As soon as 18 12 was released, even the reconnaissance satellites of various countries called the police. When the American military satellite fell, it was an act of hitting it with missiles to hide people's eyes and ears. The real reason is that there are two fans playing 18 12 at the same time, and both of them use top-grade batteries. The gunfire is too loud and shocking. Due to the increasing scale of enthusiasts, the demand for large dry batteries has increased greatly, and barrels filled with crude oil can not be produced, which has led to the skyrocketing oil prices. Many people don't understand that they are short of oil, but they are short of barrels.