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Classic Lawyer Quotes

1. Is your current nose the same one you had when you were a child?

2. Mr. Doctor, when someone dies in his sleep, in most cases he dies quietly and does not know what happened until the next morning. Am I right?

3. Question: What happened next?

Answer: He threatened me and said, "I have to kill you because you know my identity."

Q: Did he kill you?

4. Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?

5. Question: I am now presenting evidence three. Do you know this photo?

Answer: It’s me in the photo.

Q: Were you present when the photo was taken?

6. Question: Ms. Smith, how did your first marriage end?

Answer: Death.

Q: Whose death ended the marriage?

7. Question: How many months are you pregnant now?

Answer: It will be three months until November 8.

Q: Apparently the pregnancy date is August 8th, right?

Answer: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at that time?

8. Question: You have three children, right?

Answer: Yes.

Q: How many boys are there?

Answer: There is no boy. Q: So do you have a girl?

9. Question: Do you remember approximately when you examined Mr. Eddington’s body?

Answer: In the evening. The autopsy began at seven o'clock.

Q: Mr. Eddington was dead by then, right?

Answer: No, you fool! He was lying on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!