Does anyone have a short story in English?

Class and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."

A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".

Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".

Ban Heben Donkey

Professor Lowry in Glasgow posted this notice on his door: "Professor Lowry will not see his class today."

A student read the notice and erased it Letter "c" (lass: girl).

Later, Professor Lowry came and wanted to make a joke. He erased the letter "l" (ass: stupid donkey).

Plagiarism

A friend of mine who teaches European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell about the time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. " This isn't your work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia.

"You cann't prove that!" the student sputtered.

My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in red was: "Also see article on communism."

Plagiarism

I have a friend who teaches European history at Washington University in St. Louis. He said he once found a plagiarized term paper. He called the student into his office. "You didn't write it," he said. "Someone printed it out for you. ”

“You have no evidence. "The student said angrily.

My friend laughed and showed him the paper. Circled in red pen was: "Also see the article on Communism.

”

Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to I work as a faculty member at the State University of New York in Binghamton. One day, the elevator was very crowded and someone complained that the elevator was too inefficient. I said that the elevator had not been replaced in the 20 years since I was a student there.

Finally. As the elevator doors opened, I felt a sympathetic tap on my back, and looking back I saw an older nun smiling at me. "You're going to get your degree, honey," she said. Whisper: “Perseverance is a virtue. "

Difference

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

The difference

"Graduate classes and undergraduates are easy You can tell the difference," said the teacher who taught our graduate engineering class at California State University, Los Angeles. “I said, ‘Good afternoon,’ and the undergraduates said, ‘Good afternoon.’ The graduate students wrote down what I said in their notebooks.

”

Flunking Math

My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman year at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind., called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student.

"Mom," he said excitely, "I have found the answer to surviving college! It isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life. I'm lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!"

"And just what does this mean?" I asked.

"I'm flunking math ," he replied.

Failed math

My son is a student at Mansilver State University in Indiana. He was on the department chair's list in his freshman year. Second He was studying psychology in 2001, and he called home just a few weeks ago.

“Mom,” he said excitedly, “I found the answer to how to survive in college! It’s important. It’s not about scores, it’s about having the quality to apply what you’ve learned to your daily life. I was blessed to have this amazing experience. ”

“What on earth do you mean?” "I asked.

"I failed math. ” he replied.

Part-time Job

When my son was a high-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

"How was your first day?" I asked.

"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls. "

Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

Part-time job

When my son was in the second grade of high school, he found a part-time job packaging goods in a supermarket.

" How was it on the first day? " I asked.

"Great, Dad. "I talked to a lot of beautiful girls," he replied.

”

Since Stephen is not good at talking, I asked: “What did you say to them?” ”

“Do you prefer paper packaging or plastic packaging? ”

Keys? Kiss?

A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the kays." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. the kays." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

Keys or kisses

A friend of mine was Giving an English class to a class of adult students who had recently come to the United States. After placing many daily necessities on a table, he asked the class to pick out rulers, books, pens, etc. The class went smoothly. It was orderly and the students seemed interested and serious about what they were doing. Then it was the turn of a student from Italy and my friend said, “Give me the key. "The man looked very surprised and a little at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought he didn't hear clearly, so he repeated: "Give me the key." "The Italian student shrugged. Then he put his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him twice on both cheeks.

Prepare Yourself

A story around campus has it a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."

Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

Prepare yourself.

There is such a story circulating on campus: a The student once sent a telegram to his parents, which read: "Mom - I failed all my homework and was expelled from school. Let Dad get ready."

Two days later, he received a call back : "Dad is ready. Get ready yourself!"