Jokes of fat people and short people

Worse than pigs and dogs; Below the lower limit

A fat man and a thin man saw their friend shorty on a crowded pedestrian street.

The dwarf opened his mouth and asked the fat man, "Do you have a fast dog?"

Fat man: (thinking) "No."

The dwarf asked again, "How much do you eat with pigs?"

Fat man: (tears streaming down her face) "You are crazy, of course not."

Shorty: (laughs) "Then you are really worse than a pig and a dog!" " "

Fat people beat short people.

The thin man smiled so hard.

1. There is a Pizza Hut in front, and the fat man walked in. The waiter asked several people, and the fat man closed the door and said two words: "Guaranteed."

2. There is a physical examination in the center. When it is the fat man's turn to weigh himself, the fat man only stands on one foot. The doctor said to stand on your feet, and the fat man did, and the scale collapsed. ...

It is said that there is a freezer in Microsoft headquarters, which is full of fruits and snacks. Update it on time every day and take it at will. The fat man knew about it and flew to the United States the next day to sweep away the contents of the freezer. Bill Gates was furious when he saw it:

"You can't leave here until you have been a handyman for a year."

Fat man: "Nothing. Installing pirated Windows is my strong point. I'll put one for each of you ... "

A year later, Bill Gates was eaten by a fat man and went bankrupt. Fat man also decided to return to China.

Bill Gates: My God, you're finally leaving!

Fat man: "I really can't stay any longer. Although the taste here is ok, the key is that the quantity is too small! I have to order 300 steamed buns and 100 Jin of pork every half hour ... "

A new sesame seed cake stall opened at the entrance of the center, which is a place frequented by fat people. At noon one day, when a middle school next to it finished school, the sesame seed cake stall was surrounded. Fatty, be anxious. All of a sudden, the first one came, and the people behind said that fat people had no quality. The fat man turned back and said, "I have a membership card!" " "

6. There is a Christmas party in the center, and there is a lot of free food. The fat man came late and there was only one loaf of bread left. I was about to take it when a beautiful MM grabbed it first. Three seconds later, the fat man walked onto the stage, grabbed the host's microphone and sang sadly, "Bread is delicious ..."

7. There is a new supervisor in the center. One day, the supervisor's computer broke down and asked the fat man to fix it. The fat man said he wanted steamed bread to serve, but the supervisor didn't want it. The fat man said that's ok, but you have to go through me first every day. ...

8. Colleagues in the office are afraid to have breakfast every morning, for fear that fat people will threaten to invite them to dinner when they smell their mouths. One day, the thin man had breakfast two hours early. While talking, the fat man accidentally found an onion on the thin man's tooth, and as a result, the fat man's food this month was covered by the thin man. ...

9. A new batch of network administrators came, and the manager asked the fat man to give them training. In class, the fat man asked:

"What is the most indispensable thing for IT people?"

"U disk?" , "wrong"

"notebook?" , "wrong"

"What's that?" , "sesame seed cake!"

10. In the evening, the fat man was hungry. After searching for a long time, he only found a McDonald's that is open 24 hours a day.

The fat man went in and ordered two pieces of bread.

Then go straight to the kitchen inside, and then put something into the bread yourself. ...

1 1, a short man went fishing in the sea and unfortunately ran aground. He wanted to go down and pull the boat out, so he used a bamboo pole to test the water depth and found that the water was not as deep as one person. As soon as he jumped down, the water flooded his head. He quickly surfaced and cursed, "Oops, others ran aground in the shallows, and Lao Tzu ran aground in the deep sea."