Happy humor, positive energy sentences, the most incisive jokes (selected 80 sentences)

1, busy, seven busy, finally filled this life with ten points.

I suggest you never go into business after graduation! You can't count at all! Your math score has never exceeded 20 points. You can say that 3+7 equals 2 1!

3. Teacher, just say which parent you like, and don't hold parent-teacher conferences all the time.

I warn you, don't giggle at me when I am angry. You laugh, and I laugh with you, which makes me lose face.

Only a fat body can bear my heavy soul.

6. If you like a handsome guy, please don't take immediate measures. Get to know him first, and before long, you will find that his friends are more handsome.

7. Everyone likes to take photos with you at the party. It doesn't mean that you are popular, but it may be because … you have a big face.

8. No matter how hard you are, you should think of yourself as 250. No matter how difficult it is to take risks, you should also regard yourself as a two-faced person.

9. I bought a razor online, and my hands are shaking after shaving.

10, falling in love with an immature man is like adopting a son. You teach him how to love someone, and in the end you will find that you have a wife.

1 1. Nowadays, people call their sons rabbits and pet dogs sons.

12, technology is really developed, and now I can piss off a fool thousands of miles away without leaving home.

13 spit it out! Spit out your drink!

14, I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late online. The biggest change for me is that I have changed from a happy staying up late to a fearful staying up late.

15, I stayed in a nervous crowd for a long time, and I found that I was normal.

16. You can't have your cake and eat it, but you can have poverty and ugliness at the same time. Fat and short are always inseparable.

17. No matter how smart a woman is, she looks confused, and no matter how stupid a man is, she looks sober.

18. The difference between an open book and a closed book is that one is copied from the top and the other is copied from the bottom.

19. Sometimes you are preparing to do something consciously, and suddenly someone urges you to do it, and you don't want to do it in an instant.

20. When I have money, I will buy two lollipops, one for you to see and the other for you to eat.

2 1, funny during the day, depressed at night.

22, the grandson who pretends all day, can't know the art of war.

23. I was perming my hair in the house, and he was shouting perm outside.

24. Every time I see the space, I'm talking about someone breaking up. How sad! I can't do anything, so I have to put down my cell phone and close the door, hiding in the quilt and laughing happily.

25. I was bored and sang to the computer. After singing, the computer suddenly crashed.

26. Bad guys need strength, while scum need taste more.

27. Time is used for wandering, body for loving, life for forgetting and soul for singing.

28. I drank too much last night. I vaguely saw a man who was so handsome that I couldn't help going up and punching him. I woke up in the morning to find my hand broken and my mirror broken.

29. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

30. I can stay up with you and advise you to go to bed early, but the best state is that we sleep together!

3 1, the so-called single bed double bed, has nothing to do with the width, someone at the pillow is a double bed, and a single bed is also a single bed.

32. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

33. Don't be too good. You can refuse what you don't want to do. You don't have to force what you can't do. If you don't like it, pretend not to hear it. Life is not to please others, but to be kind to yourself.

34. There are actually two kinds of so-called "poor households": poor because of lack of money, poor because of lack of sleep, and finally incompetent, both of them.

35. If sleeping is to recharge the human body, then I want to say that I have never been full.

36. How time flies! It was dark as soon as I got up.

37. Men have been single for too long, and everyone is a story of Diusim; This woman has been single for too long, and everyone is love rat.

38. Forgive me for dressing up, holding a fountain pen, frowning and writing hard, just to get to the bottom of Xueba.

39. Go away! Danger! It feels like it's going to explode!

40. My mother asked me why I didn't tidy my room. I'm kidding, but I'm a beauty in a messy room.

4 1, all handsome boys who play football and basketball are farting. As long as you are handsome and kicking shuttlecock is ugly, you are shoveling shit when you play golf.

The head teacher scolded us yesterday, saying that everyone in our class was ugly. Then she said today, what kind of teachers have what kind of students.

Violence cannot solve the problem. Come on, let's sit down calmly and praise me for an hour.

44. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

45. People who can't find time to fall in love will find time for blind date sooner or later.

46. Many people say that I am beautiful and lovely. I really want to go over there and slap her. Who doesn't know? I want you to talk about it everywhere!

47. Freedom is not given by others, but pursued by oneself.

48. I never write typos, but I write generic words.

49. I always feel that I didn't play well after quarreling with others. I always feel that the organization language will definitely win if it is noisy again.

I will never judge a book by its cover, but I will judge a book by its cover.

5 1. Five people chased me at the same time yesterday. I turned a set of qwerdf, and the second company instantly exploded to complete the five kills. I just want to ask, who else?

52. Do you believe that a girl will always come to this world to torture you?

53. Create a group for those friends who use iphone online, so you don't have to change.

54. Learning Buddhism is a confession of one's conscience, not for others to see.

When you get up in the morning, you can do many things, for example, go to bed again.

56. As an optimistic person in others' eyes, you are probably hanging to death, and everyone thinks you are swinging.

57. People with deep karma are always looking at the shortcomings and deficiencies of others. A true man of practice will never look at the mistakes and shortcomings of others.

58, don't eat coriander, send your cutest clerk!

You see, the rainbow over there despised me that day because I was brighter than it.

60. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me.

6 1. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, so be careful not to be hit.

62. He doesn't care about you. Don't worry, I'm too lazy to talk to you.

63. With a fiery heart, you can change a result. Money can change this result at will.

64. Ha ha! My nightmare is finally over, and I don't have to sit with you anymore!

65. You can't wake up a person who doesn't return your message, but a red envelope can.

66. I heard that there was radiation next to the sleeping mobile phone pillow, which scared me to get up and throw away the pillow. It scared me to death.

67. I asked a friend to say that a girl has gained weight recently, but she is very nice. Can I order takeout?

68. The first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.

You have no right not to like my lifestyle, but you have the right to deceive yourself.

70. Don't bother me unless you buy me snacks. Baby's time is precious.

7 1, now I believe in letting nature take its course. Don't say I don't care, even if I do, what can I do? I just see everything more broadly.

72. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

73. If marriage is the grave of love, then the annual wedding anniversary celebration is to sweep the grave.

74. If there is an afterlife, I will definitely become nervous, because if I leave, you will be brain-dead.

75. When I hope to receive a red envelope, I open it and write another one.

76. Do your homework, do it all night, sit all night and do a page.

77. A girl with thick legs envies all kinds of thin legs, regardless of whether she is male or female.

78. Since I had the function of anonymous message, I found that many boys began to express their love for each other.

Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I will advise them to look farther and let bygones be bygones. But they are always unwilling, urging me: pay back the money quickly!

80. Remember those people who chat with you late into the night, because they make your dark circles so heavy and your skin so bad.