How to deal with the husband meeting his ex (you will be angry when he meets his ex)

From 0 10 to 10 10, my best friend Xiaohui and I went shopping, but she was always optimistic and cheerful, but she was unhappy for a while.

"Hey, love is really a course. I really don't know how to get along with my husband now. "

"You are a model couple in the circle! Why are you still sighing? "

"It looks good on the surface, but only you know how many holes you have."

"What's the matter?"

"My husband just came home from a business trip last night and found that he made a phone call with his mobile phone. When he picked it up, he had no time to talk. That's a woman's voice. She said,' Thank you for accompanying me these days!' "

"Isn't your husband on a business trip for a week?"

"Yes, he told me so, but because of this sentence, there was a big fight last night. It turned out that he said he was going on a business trip, but he went to see his predecessor behind my back. I struggled to help him pack. After returning home, I made a table to meet him. It turned out that he just met his predecessor! "

"I thought my husband would refute after the quarrel, but no, he directly admitted that he and his predecessor still had a good impression. Although he is not enough to divorce me and remarry his predecessor, he will not get it if the quarrel is more intense. If it is solved, I think we are finished. "

Almost divorced, Xiao Hui is also very wronged. I don't know how good the relationship has developed to this point. What caused this result? Because she doesn't know this effect-"Chicconi effect".

"Chickney effect": Everyone has an innate desire to complete. It is easy for ordinary people to forget what has been completed and achieved, but they always remember things that have been interrupted, unfinished and failed to achieve their goals.

If you regard marrying as a complete and fruitful thing, it is easy to forget the hard work your wife has paid in marriage; And if the predecessor is regarded as an unfinished and interrupted thing, the predecessor is easy for men to forget.

If she knew about the Chickney effect, she wouldn't be so depressed.

First, you only get angry when your husband meets his ex? That's because you don't understand this effect. Women who understand the importance of the "Secconi effect" will deliberately train their control ability in this respect, thus gaining many benefits. Specifically, there are three points: (1) communicate with your husband efficiently to avoid the trouble caused by poor communication.

When two close people are together, there are many things to discuss, but when it comes to efficient communication, few people can do it.

Many wives nag in marriage and can talk for a long time. If they can cut off the main points of communication, they can achieve the goal of efficient communication.

The communication between Xiao Rui and her husband belongs to the type of efficient communication. After her husband speaks, Xiao Rui always knows the main points that her husband wants to express.

So the conversation between her and her husband became, every time her husband said a word, she put forward the key points and repeated them. If she gets her husband's approval, it proves that the way she expresses the main points in words is correct.

For the unfinished and interrupted things in her husband's hands, if a wife can know that her husband wants to fulfill his wishes and support him, then she is a "confidant" in her husband's mind. On the other hand, this kind of efficient communication can avoid the troubles caused by poor communication.

Grove once said: "Effective communication depends on the communicator's full mastery of the topic, not the sweetness of the words". Only by fully understanding each other's desire to speak and the goal they want to achieve can we achieve the purpose of effective communication. People who know the "Secconi effect" will get twice the result with half the effort.

(2) Create a "Chickney effect" event to add sweetness to the plain life.

Just like a classic sentence in Zhang Ailing's novel Red Rose and White Rose: Maybe every man has had two such women and married a red rose. Over time, the red one turned into a touch of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white one was "a ray of light at the foot of my bed"; Marry a white rose, the white is the glutinous rice on the clothes, and the red is the Zhu Shazhi in my heart. In short, what you can't get is the most precious.

The wife can take advantage of this effect and become the producer of this effect. Let this effect run through the marriage life, and the husband's heart will be firmly concerned by the family, and there will be no time to worry about his predecessor. At this time, the husband will have a more sense of family responsibility and return to the family.

(3) It is beneficial to cultivate the determination of husband and wife to overcome life difficulties.

When we do something, we always want to do it perfectly. Not eating is as uncomfortable as scratching your heart and liver. If we lengthen the time and regard it as a major event in life and need two people to achieve it together, then the result of this effect will appear.

At this time, two people will work together for the same goal. This incident has become the driving force for two people to work hard and will not come out in the face of life difficulties.

Now, the phenomenon of "husband and wife are birds in the same forest, and when disaster strikes, they fly separately". Moreover, by the time this "Chickney effect" thing is completed, the two are already white-haired. At this time, growing old together is not a myth, but a wish that has been realized in reality.

Just like Eason Chan's song "Red Rose" sings: "Those who can't get it are always in turmoil, and those who are optimistic are fearless." The more you can't get something, the more you desperately want it. People will not remember the people who came to see you, but only the people who came to see you. Using this effect, couples can have enough confidence to overcome difficulties.

Third, master three methods to cultivate family responsibility and enhance marital happiness. Since the Chickney effect is so important to marriage, how can we really make use of it? You need to master three methods:

(1) Face the reality and accept your lover's shortcomings.

First, face the reality. For the husband, the predecessor is not available, and it is an unfinished business. The predecessor is a "base country effect". Face the reality and admit the existence of this thing.

Perhaps the husband is such a half-hearted person, but he is now his own husband, a smart woman, who can win the position of king in the battle for women. First of all, you should accept the shortcomings of love and force yourself to calm down and think of a way, instead of making a fuss and rolling around, because if this method is effective, there will not be so many problems in the world.

If crying twice and hanging three times can solve the problem, not so many couples have divorced since ancient times, and husbands are not so obsessed with their predecessors.

At the same time, if a woman still has feelings for her husband and ex-husband, and if the way to deal with this matter is to roll around in search and make a scene like a shrew, then this kind of behavior will only prove in her husband's heart that his wife is really a woman who is not worth cherishing, while in his heart, her ex, like Bai Yueguang, is really worth cherishing, and this kind of behavior will only push him further and further.

Just like in the TV series "Tiger Mom and Cat Dad", Russell only said one sentence to his ex-girlfriend: "Actually, I miss the time with you, but that time of youth …" So the first step is to force myself to calm down and face the reality, because my husband may be infatuated with the former person, but that time of youth. Face the reality frankly, and then start looking for solutions.

(B) to eliminate the lover's "Chickney effect."

Qiu Ling's husband is also a person who is obsessed with his predecessor. The point is that this ex was his first love. Her husband is a man with a first love complex. For those who don't get it, his obsession is bigger than the average person. After learning about the Chickney effect, Qiu Ling knew that only by eliminating the Chickney effect on her lover would she give up her pursuit of her predecessor, so she had the following series of behaviors:

Through observation, she found that her husband's predecessor was a flower with beautiful skin and long legs. Since the last time two people met her when they were shopping, Lin Qiu felt a panic from the heart, because she found that Ban Hua was indeed a more beautiful woman than her, and she clearly knew that her husband still had the position of his predecessor in his heart. If her predecessor is also interested in him, her marriage will be in danger.

Then, she learned from a friend that her husband's predecessor divorced after marrying someone. The reason for the divorce is said to be that she disliked her ex-husband's poor family and couldn't afford the life she wanted, so she left the family without hesitation regardless of the two children she had already given birth to and never came back after running out.

Qiu Ling sneer at a way in my mind. It turns out that her husband, ex, is just a person who can share joys and sorrows, and her poor husband still doesn't know that she is as beautiful as before.

If you want to interrupt your husband's yearning for his predecessor, you should make him realize that what he misses is not a person worthy of his yearning, and his inner beauty for his predecessor must be broken, so that he can escape the control of the Chickney effect.

Who can talk about the current situation of the predecessor? You can't let yourself do it, because the husband returns to the family and only benefits himself. It is possible that he will not doubt his predecessor, but also doubt himself.

So Qiu Ling asked her husband's best friend to tell him about it, and let him say it unintentionally, because the three of them were in the same class before, and saying it unintentionally would make her husband's heart more shocked.

In the end, Qiu Ling achieved her goal. Her husband was really shocked by his predecessor's heartless behavior. In the end, he pulled all his thoughts back from his predecessor and concentrated on running his marriage.

In the book "Super Magic Love Psychology that makes you fondle admiringly", it is said: "The real reason why people are obsessed with their first love and attached to it is to miss the youthful years that they have walked together, the precious and unforgettable passionate youth." Unforgettable, not necessarily that person.

Qiu Ling, who is good at using the Chickney effect, successfully saved her marriage.

(3) Let the lover have a "subjugation effect" on the family.

Because only things that can't be obtained and interrupted will make people miss, so if a woman wants to occupy a certain position in a man's heart, she can become the maker of this effect, and she plays a leading role in this effect. At this time, a man's heart will be placed on a woman, and no matter how beautiful and well-built others are, they can no longer attract him.

To prepare for the holiday, Xiaoyu's family has planned to travel to Zhangjiajie. The luggage is all ready, the food, the use, the scenic spots, the photos to be taken, and even the things to be met in a certain place are all clear. The itinerary of these days has been roughly outlined in the hearts of this family.

Everything is ready, except for the east wind, just waiting for the holiday. As long as you have a holiday, you can travel.

However, the weather is unpredictable, and the night before the holiday, it suddenly rained cats and dogs. What a heavy rain! It's like pouring a whole basin of water from the sky, and the original travel strategy has been put on hold.

Because of the weather, the whole family can only stay at home, and even going out for a walk is a luxury.

Things planned at home have to be interrupted, which is an unfinished business. However, the depressed days at home these days are in sharp contrast with the happy mood when I planned, and I have greater expectations for the unfinished trip to Zhangjiajie.

The rain finally stopped, but I have to go to work again, so I have to wait for the next trip.

At this time, the unfinished business of tourism has become the "Chekhov effect" in the hearts of this family. No matter what you do in the future, you will think of the unfinished business, which forms a kind of magic. You must finish it and feel comfortable.

So, in the second year's holiday, Xiaoyu's family took out the planned travel strategy again. This time, there was no heavy rain, and they made a successful trip.

In this year, the "Chickney effect" caused by "Zhangjiajie tourism" is the driving force to promote the family. If there are always so many influences in marriage, it is not difficult for the husband to return to the family and assume the sense of responsibility!

A family that is good at "Chickney effect" will eventually become a harmonious family envied by everyone.

Are you helpless for your husband to meet his predecessor? Husband doesn't attach importance to family, has no sense of family responsibility, and is not a family-oriented man. Are you sad? Then try the above three methods.

When you learn the "Chickney effect" and let things with this effect always exist in your family, your marriage will get better and better, and you will become a model couple and an enviable example.