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April Fool's Day is coming soon, everyone come

At any time, you can perform the fool's action with just a tap of your phone or mouse. Although people may not necessarily follow the prompts in text messages nowadays, it is still good to make fools laugh through this method. The reporter collected some frequently used classic text messages from the Internet for your reference.

1. Text messages about mobile phones

Emergency reminder: There may be thunder and lightning in recent days. When going out, please put your mobile phone on your head and plug in the charger and drag it behind you. Used for lightning protection, remember!

Secret tips for making free calls on your mobile phone: When there is an incoming call, press 54sg and then turn off before the second ring. The call will be free at this time.

This is a well-designed text message. Turn your phone upside down and you will see wonderful patterns... Is it fun to turn your phone upside down?

According to research from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States, soaking your phone in water for 1 minute before talking can completely avoid the radiation of electromagnetic waves to the human brain. Remember!

Dear user: Hello! Because your mobile phone has an ugly appearance and outdated style, which has seriously affected the appearance of the city and hindered the development of mobile communication services, our station has decided to send a signal to destroy the mobile phone in 10 minutes!

If you receive this message, it proves that your phone is infected with a virus. Please take out the phone card immediately and clean it with gasoline.

2. Text messages about idiots

Test you: What should you do if all the pigs in the world die overnight? (Name a song) "At least I still have you"!

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a fool. He was so stupid that no matter what question he was asked, he would just shake his head or answer "no". Have you heard of this story?

Those who make furniture are wood, those who understand poetry are scholars, what everyone thinks about is money, what is being cultivated is talent, what women want is body, those who send messages are geniuses, and those who are reading text messages are idiots. !

You are so handsome and cool that it is beyond comparison. You hold the pot lid on your head and carry cabbage in your hands. You always think that you are the Invincible of the East, but in fact you are the second generation fool!

To test your Mandarin, please read the following poem aloud: dark stone green, dark carnation, dark stone through spring green, dark stone through spring bamboo.

This is a poem by Li Bai, please read it aloud: The bedroom is spring green, I hold the plum blossoms and smell the flowers, I can only win the first place, I invite you to sleep in the bedroom, the bedroom knows the spring green.

Lai Toad wanted to chase the swan, but the swan said disdainfully: If I had grown up to be like you, I would have died long ago. Lai Toad said softly: That pig is still alive and well.

After hearing this, the pig said aggrievedly: I was just reading text messages. Who did I offend?

3. Text messages about health

Tips for self-testing vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale sharply, and then observe whether the people around you smell any peculiar smell. If so, you need to strengthen your training according to this method; if not, it proves that you are a superman!

Report: Your sleeping position is incorrect at this time. For your health, please get up and go back to sleep...Mobile phone real-time monitoring system.

Ah! You are so graceful and charming, no wonder everyone says you are... bloated!

4. Other text messages

Attention, look to your left first, then to your right. Please be careful of a psychopath who has just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with his mobile phone.

Notice: Tomorrow morning, leaders will inspect the work. Colleagues, please dress uniformly as required. Men: suit, tie, shorts and slippers; women: swimsuit, trousers and leather shoes!

Urgent reminder: There is a fear of tornado weather in the near future. Be sure to carry two 10-kilogram dumbbells with you when you go out to avoid being swept into the west by the strong wind. Those weighing less than 50 kg must double the weight.

Seismic station forecast: There will be micro-earthquakes tonight to tomorrow morning. For your safety, please sleep under the bed tonight with a quilt on your head, a toilet bowl on your head, and a straw in your nostrils.

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Internet bullying*** *

****The key to computers and the Internet is to rely on your smart mind and flexible hands and feet. With these two points, you can give full play to your imagination and creativity. Linked together, a dragnet is set up, leaving the fooled with nowhere to escape and unable to laugh or cry.

The most basic method: simple and easy, suitable for everyone who uses computers

Set a screen saver on other people’s computers while they are in the toilet, and add a password; fake website administrator Speech: "The system is about to restart, please save your work and exit"; send an email to a friend, first package it with Winzip, package it again... and finally make it into a self-extracting file, repeat this cycle several times, and finally when the other party opens the email, only 6 words: Today is April Fools’ Day!

Disguise: Suitable for friends who use instant messaging software such as OICQ and ICQ

Use emergency events to distract those who are using instant messaging software and open the modification of the instant messaging software Personal information options, using the keyboard and mouse, will completely modify the online appearance of the fool. As for how to change it, it depends on your interest and ability. Finally, don’t forget to destroy any evidence that may reveal your identity. This method is not easy to detect. Not only will the fooled person's friends be confused about who he is for a while, but even the fooled person himself will be confused for a while.

Another method is to try to obtain the OICQ number of the person being fooled, apply for a new OICQ number yourself, and fill in the personal information according to the details of the person being fooled. Add the fooled person to the contact list of the new number you applied for, and then seize the other party's weakness and start a "big bombing" on it. The main purpose of this method is to prevent the other party from knowing who you are, so you must pay attention to hiding it when using it, and try not to make the other party suspicious of you.

Remind the fooled: No matter when and where you are, you must remember to lock the system before leaving the computer. Once you suspect that you have been tricked, you can only observe carefully and carefully to crack it.

Substantiation: Change some settings on the fooled computer

Use the microphone and the "Recorder" program that comes with Windows to record some scary or bizarre sounds, and then set them to Windows The sound of turning on (off) the machine. In this way, when the fool turns on (or shuts down) the phone, you will definitely be shocked.

Change the target folder corresponding to "My Documents" on the fool's computer, making him mistakenly think that all the documents he has worked so hard to write have disappeared.

Change the shortcut targets of some applications commonly used by fools. After letting them click on the shortcut to open the program, they find that the program that is started is not the program corresponding to the shortcut. Be sure to keep the shortcut icon consistent with the original program.

The effect of these methods on fooling people is first-rate, enough to make the fooled person's heart beat faster, his blood pressure rise, and his whole body break into a cold sweat. But you must be careful when using it, because if you are not careful, you can make a big mistake.

Reminder: Don’t give anyone access to your computer on April Fool’s Day.

Move on the hardware: When a computer fails, most people will look at whether there is a problem with the program or network, and rarely consider the subtle hardware aspects

You can be fooled before you are fooled. Before going to work, loosen the power plug of the monitor or the mouse plug. This way, when the fool turns on his computer at work, he will find a black screen on the monitor or a prompt that the mouse cannot be found. Just when he does not know what to do, you can Show up bravely and solve the problem easily. Then the other party will not only not think of being fooled, but will also be very grateful to you.

Of course, there is a more "vicious" trick, which is to adjust the contrast of the monitor to the lowest level so that the screen is dark. As a result, unless the other party is very careful, it will be extremely difficult to discover the real reason.

If he thinks there is a hardware problem, he may "tear his computer into pieces" to find out the cause.

Reminder: Pay attention and carefully observe the power indicator light of the monitor. As for whether you can discover the problem, it depends on how deep your practice is.

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1 Floor ※Zizai※ - March 28 - 16:32

Lifestyle version of ****

1**** makes strange-flavored Coke

Buy a bottle After drinking half of the Coke, mix in vinegar, soy sauce, salt, mustard and other condiments to carefully prepare a strange-flavored Coke with a normal color. When you meet an acquaintance, you pretend to be drinking, and then hand over the Coke generously. The other person is unsuspecting, and he drinks it in a big gulp while saying thank you, and then frowns and opens his mouth to vomit.

You can also prepare according to the law, such as pouring Erguotou wine into mineral water, adding some soapy water to beer, etc.

2. Toothpaste sandwich biscuits

Unpack the sandwich biscuits, carefully spread the two biscuits, remove the original sandwich, and take out the toothpaste (preferably black toothpaste, it tastes good) !) Squeeze an appropriate amount into the cake, the amount will depend on your personal "eating" habits, and finally glue it together to make it as realistic as possible. You generally don't need to use it specifically at all, just put it in an obvious place. It's best to prepare a few slices of original sandwich biscuits and watch TV while eating. People will naturally come to taste it. This is called Jiang Taigong fishing, and those who are willing will take the bait. You can also take the initiative and invite people to taste it. Although it is risky, many people will definitely fall into the trap.

3. Request a song

Prepare a rice bowl or enamel basin (any other object that can emit loud, high decibels after being struck) and a phone. Try to use a very formal tone when calling the other party. When you get through, say the following: This is a music station, and Mr./Ms. If you want to listen to the song, please dial the # key to listen (most people will press it). Thank you, the song is "Dang" by Power Train, please listen carefully. Then knock on the previously prepared hitting object, just knock it once, and make a "dang" sound. Before the other party reacts, say: Thank you for listening, Happy April Fool's Day, and goodbye!

This method is suitable for dormitories, or friends who can be contacted by phone, and finally closer people. In addition, you must not laugh during the phone call to avoid affecting the effect and atmosphere.

4. Double postage

Estimate the time and send a letter to your friend in advance, but do not put a stamp or write your own sending address (otherwise will be refunded to you). In this way, on April Fool's Day, your friend will receive a mail collection notice from the post office, telling him that he has an unpaid mail, please go to a certain post office to collect it, and pay double the postage. When he came to a certain post office in the dust, he respectfully handed over double the postage, opened the envelope, and found a small note floating out of it, which said "Happy April Fools' Day!" However, this prank may have been delayed. There will be errors, and the effect may not be as good as imagined.

5. Give gifts

If someone has a birthday on April Fool's Day, give him a big box with "Happy Birthday" written on it, and fill the box with scraps of paper. And loosen the bottom of the box. When he picked up the box, the bottom fell off and the shreds of paper flew all over the room, giving the Fool half an hour to clean up.

6. Measurement

The prankster took a piece of rope, stopped a pedestrian, and asked him to help measure the size. Then he held the other end of the rope, turned the corner of the building, and stopped another pedestrian, repeating the same pattern. Then you can hide away and watch the fun. People on both ends may wait for more than ten minutes, then put down the rope when there is no movement, and go to the other party to ask for clarification. Only then will they realize that they have been fooled.

This is a great way to fool strangers.

------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------

A fool's classic joke

p>

On April Fool's Day, media in some countries around the world have also joined the ranks of "making news and making fools laugh". In a word - there is no negotiation to lie to you!

Classics of the past decade

1991: Mona Lisa’s frown

The British "Independent" reported that an art group was cleaning the famous painting "Mona Lisa". Nalisa" discovered an astonishing secret. After removing the dust from the painting, the woman who was popular around the world with her "mysterious smile" actually frowned.

1993: Baby Joke of the Century

On March 11, a newspaper launched a humor news innovation competition to collect the "most deceptive" stories from the society. Chen from Nanjing quickly created an article titled "Who is the Lucky Baby of the Century?" On April 1 of that year, the newspaper published the article in full in its column. Subsequently, the article was reprinted, causing a "baby of the century" craze.

1995: The Queen of England has a biological uncle

The British "Independent" reported that a 69-year-old Welsh farmer was the grandfather of Queen Elizabeth II and George V. illegitimate son. Under the title "The Queen's Throne is Threatened," the report described the farmer's life experience in a clear-cut manner. It also stated that the legal heir to the throne had filed a lawsuit with the local court to regain the right to inherit the throne that should have belonged to him.

1996: Biological organisms discovered on Jupiter

A news item from "America Online": A government official revealed that biological organisms have been discovered on Jupiter. The report stated that the U.S. government had obtained evidence of life on Jupiter, but had kept the news secret. The CEO of "AOL" and a well-known biologist came forward to confirm the reliability of the news.

2000: Free Cars

The famous American men's magazine "Esquire" introduced readers to a new car company called "Freewheels", saying that the company was Prepare to promote free cars to the public. The bodies of these cars will be covered with advertisements. The revenue of "Free Wheels" will come from these advertisements.

2001: The "blue sky" is no longer

The British "Mail" announced that the sky is gradually becoming eclipsed and no longer as blue as before. The newspaper said the conclusion came from a five-year study. The study said the amount of blue pigment in the sky dropped from 9.3 in 1996 to 6.9 in 2001.

2002

Japan: Koizumi was teased

The Japan Times, a Japanese newspaper, made a joke about Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi. The English-language "Japan Times" made fun of Koizumi's lion hair. It said in a funny report: "The Japanese government will take a series of 'moderate measures' to stimulate the economy, including including the popular Disney cartoon "The Lion King" As an 'important cultural asset'... Prime Minister Koizumi has wild hair that looks like a lion's mane. Under his influence, all lion-related items have become very popular."

Thailand: False rumors are limited. Drinking Order

The "Bangkok Post" reported that Interior Minister Pracha, who advocates healthy living and spares no effort to live a healthy life, issued new guidelines, restricting drinkers to only buy two drinks at the bar per night, and customers must ask the waiter when ordering drinks. You should have your hands stamped. Those who already have two stamps on their hands cannot continue to buy alcohol. At the same time, the government is also considering issuing a new smart ID card that can record the number of times people buy alcohol. When selling alcohol in bars, customers' ID cards must be "passed." "Machine" registration and check on the instrument whether the customer has exceeded the limit.

Russia: April Fool's Day holiday

Russian state radio reported that the parliament is holding an emergency meeting on the "problem of low work efficiency" on April 1 and will list this day as It is a public holiday.

“Expert studies show that compared to other days, on this day, jokes are told on the phone, managers are assigned ridiculous tasks, and warnings about interruptions in electricity, heating, and water supply are numerous, resulting in unprecedented low productivity in Russia,” therefore, “might as well It's a holiday!"

Iraq: Increased rations for Iraqis

The official Iraqi newspaper "Babylon", run by Saddam's eldest son Uday, published an article prominently on the front page saying, Iraqis' monthly rations will be significantly increased. Just when people were about to tell their relatives and friends this "good news", a line on the last page of the newspaper read, "Be vigilant and don't be fooled."

Canada: Bill Gates unfortunately became a "fool"

Two comedy announcers at a French-language radio station in Montreal, Quebec, Canada decided to find a "more interesting person" on April Fool's Day. The hard-to-deceive guy was "happy" and called Microsoft's headquarters, claiming to be a staff member of the Canadian Prime Minister's Office and asking Gates to answer Prime Minister Chretien's call. Surprisingly, Gates' assistant easily answered the boss's call without verifying the other party's identity. As a result, the two "liars" pretended to be Chretien and had a 10-minute phone conversation with Gates. Lifestyle version of bullying ****

1**** Make weird Coke

Buy a bottle of Coke, drink half of it, mix it with vinegar, soy sauce, salt and mustard Add moss and other condiments to carefully prepare a strange-flavored Coke with a normal color. When you meet an acquaintance, you pretend to be drinking, and then hand over the Coke generously. The other person is unsuspecting, and he drinks it in a big gulp while saying thank you, and then frowns and opens his mouth to vomit.

You can also prepare according to the law, such as pouring Erguotou wine into mineral water, adding some soapy water to beer, etc.

2. Toothpaste sandwich biscuits

Unpack the sandwich biscuits, carefully spread the two biscuits, remove the original sandwich, and take out the toothpaste (preferably black toothpaste, it tastes good) !) Squeeze an appropriate amount into the cake, the amount will depend on your personal "eating" habits, and finally glue it together to make it as realistic as possible. You generally don't need to use it specifically at all, just put it in an obvious place. It's best to prepare a few slices of original sandwich biscuits and watch TV while eating. People will naturally come to taste it. This is called Jiang Taigong fishing, and those who are willing will take the bait. You can also take the initiative and invite people to taste it. Although it is risky, many people will definitely fall into the trap.

3. Request a song

Prepare a rice bowl or enamel basin (any other object that can emit loud, high decibels after being struck) and a phone. Try to use a very formal tone when calling the other party. When you get through, say the following: This is a music station, and Mr./Ms. If you want to listen to the song, please dial the # key to listen (most people will press it). Thank you, the song is "Dang" by Power Train, please listen carefully. Then knock on the previously prepared hitting object, just knock it once, and make a "dang" sound. Before the other party reacts, say: Thank you for listening, Happy April Fool's Day, and goodbye!

This method is suitable for dormitories, or friends who can be contacted by phone, and finally closer people. In addition, you must not laugh during the phone call to avoid affecting the effect and atmosphere.

4. Double postage

Estimate the time and send a letter to your friend in advance, but do not put a stamp or write your own sending address (otherwise will be refunded to you). In this way, on April Fool's Day, your friend will receive a mail collection notice from the post office, telling him that he has an unpaid mail, please go to a certain post office to collect it, and pay double the postage. When he came to a certain post office in the dust, he respectfully handed over double the postage, opened the envelope, and found a small note floating out of it, which said "Happy April Fools' Day!" However, this prank may have been delayed. There will be errors, and the effect may not be as good as imagined.

5. Give gifts

If someone has a birthday on April Fool's Day, give him a big box with "Happy Birthday" written on it, and fill the box with scraps of paper. And loosen the bottom of the box.

When he picked up the box, the bottom fell off and the shreds of paper flew all over the room, giving the Fool half an hour to clean up.

6. Measurement

The prankster took a piece of rope, stopped a pedestrian, and asked him to help measure the size. Then he held the other end of the rope, turned the corner of the building, and stopped another pedestrian, repeating the same pattern. Then you can hide away and watch the fun. People on both ends may wait for more than ten minutes, then put down the rope when there is no movement, and go to the other party to ask for clarification. Only then will they realize that they have been fooled.

This is a great way to fool strangers.

------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------

A fool's classic joke

p>

On April Fool's Day, media in some countries around the world have also joined the ranks of "making news and making fools laugh". In a word - there is no negotiation to lie to you!

Classics of the past decade

1991: Mona Lisa’s frown

The British "Independent" reported that an art group was cleaning the famous painting "Mona Lisa". Nalisa" discovered an astonishing secret. After removing the dust from the painting, the woman who was popular around the world with her "mysterious smile" actually frowned.

1993: Baby Joke of the Century

On March 11, a newspaper launched a humor news innovation competition to collect the "most deceptive" stories from the society. Chen from Nanjing quickly created an article titled "Who is the Lucky Baby of the Century?" On April 1 of that year, the newspaper published the article in full in its column. Subsequently, the article was reprinted, causing a "baby of the century" craze.

1995: The Queen of England has a biological uncle

The British "Independent" reported that a 69-year-old Welsh farmer was the grandfather of Queen Elizabeth II and George V. illegitimate son. Under the title "The Queen's Throne is Threatened," the report described the farmer's life experience in a clear-cut manner. It also stated that the legal heir to the throne had filed a lawsuit with the local court to regain the right to inherit the throne that should have belonged to him.

1996: Biological organisms discovered on Jupiter

A news item from "America Online": A government official revealed that biological organisms have been discovered on Jupiter. The report stated that the U.S. government had obtained evidence of life on Jupiter, but had kept the news secret. The CEO of "AOL" and a well-known biologist came forward to confirm the reliability of the news.

2000: Free Cars

The famous American men's magazine "Esquire" introduced readers to a new car company called "Freewheels", saying that the company was Prepare to promote free cars to the public. The bodies of these cars will be covered with advertisements. The revenue of "Free Wheels" will come from these advertisements.

2001: The "blue sky" is no longer

The British "Mail" announced that the sky is gradually becoming eclipsed and no longer as blue as before. The newspaper said the conclusion came from a five-year study. The study said the amount of blue pigment in the sky dropped from 9.3 in 1996 to 6.9 in 2001.

2002

Japan: Koizumi was teased

The Japan Times, a Japanese newspaper, made a joke about Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi. The English-language "Japan Times" made fun of Koizumi's lion hair. It said in a funny report: "The Japanese government will take a series of 'moderate measures' to stimulate the economy, including including the popular Disney cartoon "The Lion King" As an 'Important Cultural Asset'... Prime Minister Koizumi's wild hair resembles a lion's mane. Under his influence, all lion-related items have become very popular.

"

Thailand: False rumors of alcohol restriction

"Bangkok Post" reported that Interior Minister Pracha, who advocates healthy living and spares no effort, issued new guidelines, restricting drinkers to only To buy two drinks at a bar, customers must ask the waiter to stamp their hand when ordering a drink. Those who already have two stamps on their hands cannot continue to drink. At the same time, the government is also considering issuing a new smart identity that can record the number of times citizens buy drinks. When selling alcohol in a bar, the customer's ID card must be "passed through the machine" and checked on the machine to see if the customer has exceeded the limit

Russia: April Fool's Day holiday

Russian National Radio. The report said that the parliament is holding an emergency meeting on the "problem of low work efficiency" on April 1st and will list this day as a public holiday. "Expert research shows that compared with other days, the number of phone calls on this day is lower." Telling jokes, assigning ridiculous tasks to managers, and warnings about interruptions in power, heating, and water supply are numerous, resulting in unprecedented low work efficiency in Russia.” Therefore, “it’s better to take a holiday!” ”

Iraq: Iraqis increase rations

The official Iraqi newspaper "Babylon", run by Saddam's eldest son Uday, published an article prominently on the front page saying that Iraqis will receive more food every month The rationing will be greatly increased. Just when people were about to tell their relatives and friends about this "good news", a line on the last page of the newspaper read, "Be vigilant, don't be fooled."

Canada: Bill Gates is unfortunate. Becoming "Fools"

Two comedy announcers at a French-language radio station in Montreal, Quebec, Canada decided to have fun on April Fool's Day with a "guy who is harder to deceive", so they called Microsoft headquarters claimed that he was a staff member of the Canadian Prime Minister's Office and asked Gates to answer the call from Prime Minister Chretien. Surprisingly, Gates' assistant easily answered the call of his boss without verifying the other party's identity. So the two "liars" pretended to be Chretien and had a 10-minute phone conversation with Gates. -------------------------------------------------- ----

2nd Floor ※Zizai※ - March 28th - 16:38

April Fool's Day Joke

I suddenly feel upset on April Fool's Day , ran to the toilet, took off his pants and squatted down to feel comfortable. After finishing the work, he looked for toilet paper, and was shocked to find an empty scroll

In an instant, he realized that today was April Fool's Day, and he cursed and tormented people. Don't look here! Urgent, I suddenly found a mobile phone in my pocket. I cried with joy. I was very worried that the mobile phone would fall into the pit and lose the last life-saving straw.

Colleague No. 1 called, "I In the toilet, there is no paper, come to the rescue quickly! "Colleague replied: It's April Fool's Day. Someone just called for toilet paper. Why is there another person? It's not trustworthy!" After finishing speaking, he hung up and cursed.

Colleague No. 2 called, "I'm in the toilet, no paper, come and help me!", the colleague replied: "Today is April Fool's Day, no one will go out

out, no work will be done, no Sorry!" After finishing speaking, I hung up, feeling in pain.

Colleague No. 3 called, "I know today is April Fool's Day. I am in the toilet and there is no paper. Please come to me for help. Please believe me!",

Colleague replied: "What are you doing? You can imitate me and just used this trick to deceive someone. Why did you use it without consultation?"

Finished. Hang up, helpless.

Colleague number 4, dialing... There was a sound from the toilet next door, "Friend, don't count on it. I've been here for three hours. My phone has run out of battery and I'm still not out of trouble!" April Fool's Day Joke

April Fool's Day Suddenly I felt upset in my stomach, so I ran to the toilet, took off my pants and squatted down to feel comfortable. After finishing the work, I looked for toilet paper and was shocked to find an empty scroll

No paper.

In an instant, I realized that today is April Fool's Day. Don't come here even if you are scolding or tossing people! Urgent, I suddenly found my mobile phone in my pocket

and cried with joy. I was very careful because I was afraid that the mobile phone would fall into the pit and lose the last life-saving straw.

Colleague No. 1 called, "I am in the toilet and there is no paper." "Come for help!" A colleague replied: It's April Fool's Day. Someone just called for toilet paper. Why is there someone else? Unbelievable! ". After finishing speaking, he hung up the phone and was cursing.

Colleague No. 2 on the phone, "I'm in the toilet, no paper, come and help! ", the colleague replied: "Today is April Fool's Day, no one will go out, no work will be refused, sorry! ". After finishing speaking, I hung up the phone and was in pain.

College No. 3 on the phone, "I know today is April Fool's Day. I am in the toilet and there is no paper. Come and help me quickly. Please believe me! ",

The colleague replied: "How can you imitate me and just use this trick to deceive someone? Why do you use it without consultation? ".

End of conversation. Hang up, helpless.

Called colleague number 4, dialing.... There was a sound from the toilet next door, "Friend, don't count on me, I'm here It's been three hours

here, the phone has run out of battery, and we are still not out of trouble! ”