What is the psychology of men who constantly verbally attack women?

It is a sign of low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Generally speaking, verbal attacks will be directed at the women closest to you, such as your girlfriend and wife. They may be better than him, for example, they have better working ability than him, higher emotional intelligence than him, and earn more than him. Excellence pricks his self-esteem, so he will use words to ridicule and attack you, making it seem like he is better than you. Men with this kind of mentality are very dangerous, because even if you don’t make as much money as others and are as capable as others, if you lead a positive life, you will also be strong psychologically, and they will also admire your optimism and mentality. The scariest thing is It's just that it's obviously not possible, but you don't look for the reasons within yourself, and you still feel jealous of others. Moreover, men who love to attack women with words are emotionally lacking in love and insecure. When they are not sure that they can control a relationship, they want to use words to break the wings of other people's pride and surrender in front of them. So, girls, when you meet this kind of man, you should break up and divorce as soon as possible. He just wants to hit you and make you lack love and lack self-confidence so that you can be obedient and obedient to them. A healthy relationship is about mutual respect and mutual appreciation. You are better than me, and I will sincerely applaud you, and then work harder myself, instead of using verbal violence to change your outlook.

Helpless

This is how I felt after being subjected to domestic violence.

Later, I told my husband about the domestic violence from beginning to end... He listened and was very helpless!

Isn’t it, it sounds a bit messy! Please allow me to elaborate slowly.

The one who hit me was not my husband. It's her husband.

He is the husband of Teacher Zhao in our compound. Teacher Zhao is a university teacher. We live in the same community. I used to give classes at their school. We got to know each other as soon as we went back and forth.

After getting to know her gradually, I called her Yanzi.

Yanzi and I are bigger on one side. She has been a baby loved by her parents since she was a child. She is an only child, and her parents are small cadres in some factory in Tianjin. The level is not high, but it is quite affordable. The living conditions at home have always been good. Yanzi has been the apple of his parents' eye since he was a child.

Few aunts of our generation are only children, and even fewer have the apple of their eye. Anyway, the Beijing aunts I know, whether they are old Beijingers in the alleys or young people in the big courtyard, are always called "second child" or "third child" in the family.

My parents have several pigs on their “hands”, who should they pamper? I don’t favor anyone, just Da Bo Bang!

Once Yanzi’s beautiful childhood and adolescence passed, the next step was youth, and she entered the quagmire of marriage "on time".

This quagmire that Yanzi has been struggling in for half his life...

The man Yanzi married is not good!

Say no? At that time, no one forced or robbed her, so why did she get married? There is still a reason here!

Yanzi’s husband is called Lao Ma.

Lao Ma was beautiful, tall and handsome when he was young. But his academic qualifications are worse than Yanzi's. Lao Ma is a technical secondary school student. Yanzi is an undergraduate. Their family backgrounds are also different. Yanzi's family lives in Laozhuan in Tianjin City, and their family is somewhat Western-style. Lao Ma's family lives in Hongqiao, which is a gathering place for working people in Tianjin "throughout the ages." Many cities pay attention to this. There is also a chain of contempt in the place of residence.

Let’s talk about family background. Lao Ma’s family doesn’t know if they have seven or six children. Anyway, working-class families have many children!

Such a disparate marriage means marrying off a girl. Swallows do have a sense of superiority.

The man is handsome. Work is okay. In the past, it was also possible to graduate from a technical secondary school! Work in an agency. Yanzi knew it himself. She also likes old horses.

So university teachers marry government cadres. Isn’t this great?

But in real life, it really doesn’t work!

Lao Ma doesn’t smoke or drink. This is what swallows like. However, the family is too tired. He has an older brother and a younger sister. Lao Ma is the most educated person in their family. Still a cadre, the brothers and sisters turn to Lao Ma for everything. See a doctor, go to school, borrow money to repair a house...

Yanzi won’t do it!

Their family is a working-class family. I didn't make much money. There are some things that Yanzi just can't accept. Crazy with anger.

For example:

Yanzi wants to buy a good camera. Her parents asked someone to bring one back from Japan. Swallow likes it very much. Once, her work unit organized an outing, and she decided to bring her camera. But after rummaging through boxes and cabinets, I couldn't find it. Where's the camera?

Her husband said calmly: "I borrowed it from Lao Wu. I will pay it back in a few days." Yanzi became unhappy after hearing this. But what I didn't expect was that after many days, Lao Wu still didn't return it. She inquired again and found out that Lao Wu had broken the camera lens...

Another time, her mother-in-law came to the house for dinner. She went out to buy groceries. Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law suddenly came home early. It was only in the evening that Yanzi discovered that a down jacket just issued by his unit was missing. It turned out that my mother-in-law took it away. Her husband agreed...

Her father-in-law was hospitalized. Their family shared the largest share of hospitalization expenses. We agreed to have one for each family. But my husband took it upon himself to pay for the eldest sister’s share. Because the eldest sister's family is in trouble...

Yanzi is annoying her husband and the rest of the family. Her husband's family also hates her. Said she was not generous, stingy, and unvirtuous. However, she would not persuade her husband to divorce her. Because Yanzi earns more.

Except for the annoying in-laws. Yanzi’s husband is really annoying!

Once, he drove to pick Yanzi up from get off work. It was a good time to catch up with the rain. When Yanzi saw me holding something, he insisted on dragging me along with him. His husband also expressed his welcome and even sat behind to help me hold the things. Yanzi drives, I sit in the passenger seat... This is the way!

Her husband is always talking:

Look at the intersection, you are so blind!

Slow down the turn ahead, it’s so sharp, how can you find trouble while driving on a rainy day?

Hurry through, and after a while, the light will change immediately. So stupid...

In front of outsiders, he endlessly insulted his wife. A gay man! I was so annoyed that I almost jumped out of the car.

"Teach your children in front of you and train your wife behind your back." A grown man who doesn't even understand this kind of education is really annoying.

Afterwards, Yanzi told me: "His virtue is that the more he is in front of outsiders, the more he scolds me. He just wants to suppress me like this! In fact, he has low self-esteem. His academic qualifications are not as good as mine. , his family background is not as good as mine, his level is not as good as mine, he just has low self-esteem..."

In fact, it's obvious.

This is not the case for any man who is in good condition and does not feel inferior in front of his wife.

He may not like you, so he will be cold to you, or he may simply change you. However, I will not criticize you or slander you in front of outsiders. He even pretends to be a gentleman outside and pretends to be a "virtuous husband". Because the logic of such a person is: "You are my woman. No matter how bad it is, I will not let outsiders laugh. Looking down on you is equivalent to losing my own face!

The symptoms of Yanzi's husband are: He is extremely unconfident in front of his wife.

It’s obvious that Yanzi has been promoted to associate professor, and there is still room for advancement. But he is at the lowest level in the company and can’t get a raise. Not high. You can't hold your head high in front of your wife. So, just bite back and "swear" first!

However, there are two sides to the matter. p> Yanzi is an only daughter and has a arrogant attitude.

She is willing to marry her husband, largely because he is indeed beautiful. It's a handsome guy. But when she got married, she despised her husband's family of origin. The burden is too heavy. She dislikes her husband's behavior and has a strong sense of working people.

I went to their house once. Just in time to catch up with their family for dinner. Her husband invited me to eat some together, and I said I had eaten it! Her husband then sat on the sofa with his rice bowl and chatted with me. Yanzi saw her at the side and said to her husband: "Don't run around carrying bowls. You don't understand the rules at all..." At that time, her husband's face obviously darkened.

Oops!

She really dislikes him for his poor quality!

He has no ability, and she always complains!

I have advised Yanzi:

Since you are married to him, you should respect your choice. Respect your partner. Don't always think about reforming him. You are not a "discipline cadre" and he is not a "re-education through labor officer". He will be very disgusted by your condescending criticism and discipline. As time passed, his rebellious mentality developed. Of course, those who break the pot and fall are guilty of "dirty".

"Respect is the foundation and praise is the means." As a teacher, don't you still understand this?

"I understand all the principles, but I can't execute them!" Instructor Yanzi was straightforward!

Yanzi feels uncomfortable with her husband now, but she doesn’t want a divorce.

Because their only daughter is not close to either of them. She is a very cold girl. I have been studying at university and working away from home and never come home. Yanzi's parents also died one after another. If they get divorced, Yanzi will be alone. This place is still a home after all.

Her husband was jealous, suppressed, and resentful towards her.

She was bored, angry, and hated her husband.

Two people in a marriage torture each other and are anxious, just like this, spending time in the cold quagmire.

That day, Yanzi called me for help and asked me to go quickly!

As soon as I went to her house, her husband was going to beat her! I stood up...and ended up getting beat up.

Hey! What to do! I got slapped in the mouth, covered my ears and ran home!

I checked when I got home: It’s fine! No big deal. Not broken or deaf!

Two days later, the couple got back together again.

She said, just make do with it! What else?

The couple rarely go out together and don't talk much at home. Yanzi said she would never retire. It is best to stand in the lecture hall for a lifetime. She really didn't want to go home. Home is where she is tortured. However, she did not have the courage to leave home. Divorce, selling a house, buying a house... all at this age!

Yanzi’s daughter hated her parents all her life. Her childhood was spent with her parents beating and scolding each other. However, her own marriage was particularly unhappy. Divorced after two years of marriage!

She said she would never get married again. The institution of marriage is harmful to people!

What did this family say?

Our old folks always say: Good times are hard to live by!

Men who belittle their wives stem from incompetence and inferiority. Only in the weak can a little bit of pitiful self-esteem and self-confidence be found. He is afraid that his wife will look down on him and leave him, so he uses the method of controlling the other party by using fish and chips to the death and using the children as bargaining chips to suppress and contain the other party. It further proves the saying: Incompetent men beat their wives! Don’t you know: my wife is alienated from her husband, and she has a strange bed with him. Expect revenge when he is down and out.

Not to mention that women are cruel, it is a kind of self-protection and counterattack when the heart is bruised and bruised

Hello, I am a psychological counselor Chengdu Qiu Shui Changtian. I am here to answer this question. I hope I can Helpful!

First of all, what is your relationship with this man who verbally attacks women at every turn, and what gender are you? This is important. Because there are only three things in the world, your own affairs, other people's affairs and God's affairs.

Secondly, what is the relationship between this man who verbally attacks women at every turn and the woman he attacks? If it is not a specific object, then it can only mean that this man looks down on women from the bottom of his heart, is a male chauvinist, and does not treat women as human beings. It shows that this man has a problem inside, is not very normal, and even has an anti-social personality. If the woman the man attacks is a specific target, it means that the man has a low self-esteem and is insecure. He hopes to make others or himself feel better than others by attacking the weak.

Third, this man who verbally attacks women at every turn, how intense is his verbal attack, and whether it contains insulting words. Is it a face-to-face attack or an attack from behind? If it's a face-to-face attack, it means that this man is at least a bit bloody, although he can't be considered a real man; if it's just a behind-the-back attack, it means that this man doesn't like verbal cheap talk, and he can only be considered a coward who is putting on airs.

Because life is inherently colorful and people come in all shapes and sizes. Since the information provided by the subject of the question is relatively simple, there is no way to delve deeper into it. You must know that there is a kind of people in society, regardless of gender, who are called garbage people. For the sake of your own physical and mental health, my personal advice is to be willing to trash people!

I wish you a happy life! !

Mu Lin’s answer: Before analyzing this problem, what we can be sure of is that the man has no psychological love for this woman. Because if you really love someone, you will respect and care for them from the bottom of your heart.

Now the frequency of such attacks has become "constant", that is to say, psychologically and behaviorally, he has become accustomed to targeting that woman with such "arrogance".

So, what kind of heart would lead to such behavior? Let me analyze it: 1. Feeling that you are strong and have the right to speak

"I am me, I am the only person in this family who has the right to speak". I am afraid this is the problem of all male chauvinists. Internal monologue. He demands respect from the women at home all the time.

This kind of strength comes from the premise that one's own value far exceeds that of the other party. For example, men are the upper-level leaders of the company, and women are the employees of the unit. I once saw a friend's brother and sister-in-law being like this. My brother is the director and my sister-in-law is a small worker. At home, my brother has the final say and can "walk sideways".

No matter how hard a woman tries, she cannot be equal to herself in the eyes of men. Therefore, if something goes wrong, he will turn his inner unhappiness into anger and vent it on women. 2. Thinking that women are "freeloaders" and do not need to be respected

What kind of women are "freeloaders" in the eyes of men? That is a woman who has no income for the family. Maybe she has a hard time raising children and running housework, but in the eyes of men, she is a "useless" person.

This concept is more common in our parents' generation. They measure a person's value basically from value creation. As for taking care of children and doing housework, these are considered very insignificant things.

Unless, one day, this woman can start her own side business or even become her main business. Otherwise, her status in the family will always be the lowest, and she will always be the target of "forced acceptance of violence."

3. Violence against women brought by the family of origin

The concepts brought by the family of origin are too difficult to change. In particular, many of the pains and memories associated with childhood will not be completely changed by positive energy in one or two years.

Men have lived in the shadow of a father who was violent and even beat his mother since childhood. Seeing that my mother is often bullied, but she seems to be "submissive", men have become accustomed to the humble status of women.

Then, after marriage, you will also have such a psychological shadow towards your wife. Before it explodes, it may just be a bad temper. After an outbreak, cold violence becomes commonplace. To sum up:

If a woman encounters a man in her marriage who accuses, abuses, or even beats her all the time, then this marriage will undoubtedly be painful.

Faced with this situation, no matter how powerful the method is, it seems "pale".

Rather than advising you to get along well with the other person, I would rather say that you should consider clearly the necessity for this marriage to continue.

Preliminary judgment is that such a man has violent tendencies

It is recommended that such a man be thrown away, dear...

Compared with women, men are not good at expressing themselves. Emotions, but some men hurt others when they speak. What is the psychological state of such people? What causes this?

First of all, those who verbally attack women at every turn are those who have extremely low self-esteem towards women and have a serious lack of confidence in women.

A person usually speaks normally, but when he talks about pain points, he will increase his volume. This is because of his uncomfortable psychological reaction.

A man is unwilling to show inferiority and lack of self-confidence in front of women, but in his heart he is inferior to women and lacks self-confidence. It is precisely because of this unwillingness that conflicts with his heart, so Only then will verbal attacks on women occur. The greater his reluctance and his inner conflict, the more frequent and the greater the intensity of his verbal attacks on women.

Why is he in such a mental state?

1. The influence of his native family

In the family where he grew up, he was dissatisfied with many of his mother's actions, but he was unable to resist his mother. He feels that he is worthless in front of him, but he cannot prove his ability. Over time, he has formed a meaningless habit that he can only use verbal attacks on women to make him feel comfortable. In fact, it is just to vent his long-suppressed emotions. He didn't even know it at the time.

Second, he has suffered some unforgettable emotional harm

If a man has loved a woman deeply and is abandoned by this woman, the harm to him will be huge. He has no way to vent his emotions. He feels that women all over the world are untrustworthy, but he has to contact women. The knot in his heart has not been opened. As soon as he comes into contact with women, he will reflexively feel that he will be hurt. He uses verbal attacks to protect himself. Himself, he is not aware of the completion of this series of processes, it is a conditioned reflex.

No matter which situation this man belongs to, he actually has a morbid mentality. From the appearance, he is hurting women with words. In fact, in the process of hurting women, he himself is also hurting women. After seriously hurting himself, the longer he continues like this, the greater the harm to himself. You need to adjust your mind to open up your inner world so that this behavior will no longer happen.

3. Serious male chauvinism

There is a kind of man who looks down on women no matter what the circumstances. He feels that the world belongs to men and women are just accessories. From the bottom of his heart, he He looks down on women, and even the better she is, the more disgusted he becomes. Women must stay away from this kind of man. He is a terrible kind of man. He may not necessarily have the ability, but he just doesn't like women anyway. Such people generally have violent tendencies.

No matter what, it is abnormal behavior for a man to verbally attack women at all times. If you want to change it, you must know the problem and take the right medicine to cure it.

Attacks women with words, never practices his dirty language, and always scolds women mercilessly. I think this kind of man must have been hurt by a woman, which caused his psychological abnormality. Perhaps this kind of person has a mentality of hating women, and this kind of gaffe is a strict psychological abnormality or a personality disorder.

For men who are always willing to use some very outdated language to attack women, this kind of man has a psychological disease. His spirit is in a state of schizophrenia. When it comes to women, he is extremely worried. and excitement, this character must be improved. And he goes his own way and scolds women without any scruples. This kind of person must suffer some hardships. One is to call the police, and the other is to scold him in return. But the most important thing is to call the police. For such an impolite and immoral person, there is no need to save face for him, and there is no need to put up with him. Just report him for a personal attack. I have a cousin whose husband is such a pervert, but now my cousin has divorced him, and the two of them live together. Whenever my sister goes out to eat with others, she says she is having an affair, or even follows them. Stalking my sister secretly. And sometimes, in front of my uncle and aunt, I would scold my sister for having an ambiguous relationship with so and so, or having improper feelings with so and so. My cousin was really fed up with this matter, and eventually the two of them broke up. This kind of person has a twisted personality and a perversion of human nature, so it is better to stay away from this kind of man and run away.

There are several possibilities for why a man verbally attacks women at every turn.

1. The shadow left by this man’s childhood experience. This shadow may come from the man's mother (for example, he is overly powerful, extremely controlling, does not give his children room to think, does not give them their own space, has to listen to himself in everything, and is very picky about his children). This shade can also come from other people, such as inappropriate jokes. For example, some adults like to joke to children, "Mom doesn't want you anymore," and think it's harmless. In fact, this joke is very harmful to children. It can cause children to doubt love and have low self-esteem, as well as jealousy, extreme of insecurity. It could also be a human trafficker or something like that. In short, the injuries a person receives while growing up come in many forms.

2. This man has a weak resistance to frustration or a paranoid personality, so that he starts to hate women after being emotionally hurt. Generally, when a man is emotionally frustrated, he won't beat a woman to death with a stick, but if the man himself has poor resistance to frustration or has a paranoid personality, it may happen.

3. This man has low self-esteem. This kind of low self-esteem can manifest in many ways, such as appearing arrogant on the surface (arrogance is sometimes a disguise made by the subconscious mind to cover up one's own low self-esteem, and it becomes a habit over time). Another example is that I am a little timid in doing things. And when a man has low self-esteem in front of a woman, he is likely to belittle the woman in order to show that he is very courageous. This behavior is called self-defense in psychology (denial is one of the defense mechanisms. When he does not get something, , denying this kind of thing to comfort oneself), for example, a man saw a beautiful woman, but deep down he felt that he could not catch her, so he roundly said that the beautiful woman was ugly.

4. Macho chauvinism. There are several forms of machismo. One is disguised machismo, which is the disguise of "inferiority" mentioned earlier. There is another kind of thought in his bones, which comes from his growing environment and family education. Under the erosion of these thoughts, this man has looked down on women since he was a child, so he is prone to verbal attacks on women.

5. The last one is easily ignored by many people, that is, the man is tightly controlled by his wife during the marriage, and his inner emotions cannot be channeled and vented normally, so that As for psychological deformity, hostility towards women.

The author once met a teacher. His wife had the final say on when he went out and when he came home. He did not dare to do anything to his wife at home, and there was no one to guide him. The more he thought about it, the more biased he became. Over a long period of time, he was often reluctant to speak to women. Anger, contempt, belittling... Therefore, couples still need to communicate more.