Joke a few jokes that make your stomach ache.

Jokes: A few jokes that burst into laughter.

In the history of mankind, since there was language, there has been banter language. It was first passed on by word of mouth. Later, with words, many jokes were recorded and compiled into books. I'll introduce some jokes to you, hoping to make you laugh.

1. One day, I watched Japanese Top (porn) on my dormitory computer, and I got stuck in the middle of it. Everything is so coincidental. To my surprise, several men and women from the college life department came in to check the dormitory hygiene! Shouting: "Check your bed!" The frozen picture at that time was extremely unsightly (I didn't know Japanese pornography was so abnormal). I was so nervous and sweaty! These people looked at me and the picture on the screen speechless ... I looked at them for about 10 seconds and said timidly, "If you want to criticize, you have to understand!" I don't know where the quoted' is ~

Those people pushed the door and left! Look at my buddies in my dormitory again! ! I hit the wall! Since then, I have a nickname "Pioneer A".

I went shopping with my wife yesterday and passed a beautiful woman.

Wife:? Honey, that MM is not bad, and the clothes she wears are not bad. ?

Me:? I'll take off his clothes. These clothes belong to you and me. ?

MM seemed to hear it and looked back at us 10 seconds.

3. A child was sitting at the door playing, and a middle-aged man asked him: Is your father at home?

The child replied:? Are you home? The middle-aged man rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered the door.

So the man asked angrily:? Why not open the door?

The little boy replied:? I don't know, this is not my home! ?

4. A friend saw a vendor selling porn on the roadside, asked about the price, 15 yuan, and bought two. When he got home, he found it was karaoke. The friend was furious and went back to look for it, but there was no sign of the stall owner. He decided to stay here every day and beat the stall owner when he was caught. A few days later, the peddler was arrested. Just about to begin, the stall owner pleaded: Last time you felt like a policeman, so you can sell it to him at the price of 10 yuan. After a friend considered it, there were five more than 20. Really, it's still karaoke when I go home. I can't find a supplier anymore.

5. I went to dinner with my friends at noon today and chose a few households. Only later did we know how wrong this decision was.

I ordered a lot of dishes after I went in. First, I served shredded potatoes. The friend looked at it and said, is this too little?

The boss happened to be watching TV and turned to say, what, kill a pig for you?

The friend said, why do you talk like that?

The boss said: How can you call your father?

My friend was very angry and stood up and said, I'll go, I'll go.

I'm going with my friends, too.

The boss is adamant: how can I call you?

Friends collapse?

A funny joke.

1. Students go to the toilet during recess, and when they finish, they find that there is no paper, and they can't wait for people, so their mobile phones are in arrears. In desperation, he called 10086 for help. . . It is said that there was a long silence. What happened afterwards? His classmate received such a short message in class: Dear China Mobile User, your classmate is in the toilet and asked you to send him toilet paper. Please contact 10086 for details.

The dormitory is on the 6th floor. When I climbed up, I found that I didn't have my key. I went downstairs and asked my aunt to get it. Then I climbed up to open the door, went down to return the key and climbed up again. Found the door closed, and a classmate next door passed by and asked? Look at your door. I'll turn it off for you. ?

At night, my girlfriend said I was too girly, so I got angry and quarreled with her. I wanted to be a man, but I finally couldn't help crying.

4. A buddy got up the courage to express his affection to MM on QQ, and MM later replied: I'm her mother, and I'm here to steal food.

5. The teacher called the roll in class:? Liu Hua! ? As a result, the following child replied loudly:? Yeah! ? The teacher was very angry: Why didn't you say something? When children say:? That word? Leaves.

6. It suddenly occurred to me that I have a big aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt, a fifth aunt and no third aunt. So I went to ask my dad: Why don't I have a third aunt? I thought for a moment: Did Third Aunt die when she was young? My dad said: your third aunt is your mother!

Once the bell rings, everyone must go home. My left foot stepped on my right foot when I went down the stairs. Dad? I fell in the middle of the road and became a big font .. I thought at that time: No way, it's embarrassing, I pretend to be dizzy.

As a result, the classmates next to me saw me motionless, quickly helped me up, and then slapped me on the body. ...

8. A classmate, his computer will automatically turn on every morning (probably because the dormitory suddenly opened when he called in the morning).

As a result, his old man took a symbol and posted it on the computer. . .

9. Dad hates foreign singers. But one day, when I was watching Mike Jackson's mtv, I suddenly found my father standing behind watching it with a thoughtful expression on his face. ? Dad, do you like this, too?

Dad shook his head. Mao Amin is really getting uglier and uglier. ?

10. A female friend and a gay man share a house. One night she was very depressed, and that gay gave her a bowl of noodles very thoughtfully. She suddenly felt very warm and said, why don't we make do? ? I didn't expect gay's face to change greatly: you don't have a man, I do! ?

1 1. Yesterday, I received the message that QQ asked to add friends:? I'm your mother? I'll answer right away, okay I'm your father! ? I was rejected, and then I got a call from my mother saying, Add me, quick! ?

12. One day, halfway through physical education class, the bathroom solved personal problems. As a result, I was so anxious that I went into the men's room by mistake. I was cheated when I saw a boy urinating in a urinal. A second later, I was about to retreat quietly. Turns out she fainted. See that boy yelling? Rogue, indecent assault? Then put your hand on your chest. Later, later, I said something that I thought was incredible? Classmate, you built the wrong place.

13. I was drunk and went to the bathroom of a restaurant to pee. See a sentence written on the wall, take a closer look. It says:? Don't look here, concentrate on peeing. ? By the time I finished reading this sentence, I had wet my shoes.

14. I am an ambulance doctor. Today, a patient told me that he had only six months to live. I want to say something encouraging! Comfort: six months, soon passed, be strong!

15. I once rented A Jin Tianyi in Manba, and I burst into tears when I saw the second page. I don't know who drew a circle on a character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote, is this the murderer?

16. Get on the bus in the afternoon, take out the bus card and bump into the slot.

17. On a whim, use your photos as a computer desktop? Then my computer was poisoned?

18. Talking in a dream together in high school.

? Love princess, love princess, don't leave me?

I was stunned.

soon

? I am not reconciled to the demise of the Qing Dynasty, am I not reconciled?

I just collapsed?

19. Our math teacher always likes to tell jokes that nobody laughs at.

Our whole class discussed making fun of him, and when he said the first sentence in class, we all laughed in unison.

He came that day and silently said that his father had passed away.

I laughed at once, and everyone else was silent.

20. I farted on the bus,

Seeing people waving around, their faces are full of pain.

I also waved.

The lady next to her turned and said, stop pretending.

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