Humorous jokes and romantic love stories

Humorous jokes and romantic love stories

Humorous jokes and romantic love stories 1;

My parents were not at home and found that I had no food at noon. I don't want to run out when I go to the restaurant, but I want to do it myself. Frying an egg is not a problem. Maybe I will quarrel with my daughter-in-law in the future. I still have one hand and cook by myself, which makes her very angry. Hum! I decided. Me? Chef? My career started with scrambled eggs, and now I am:

Step 1: Find the egg. I haven't found it after 10 minutes. I called my mother and finally found it.

Step 2: Wash the eggs.

Step 3: Beat the eggs. Tap, tap, tap.

Step 4: Clean the egg white on the operating table.

Step 5: Clean the egg shells in the bowl. Hold it with chopsticks, scoop it with a spoon, and grasp it with your hands. It worked.

Step 6: Stir. Wash the egg whites on your face, hands and clothes.

Step 7: I found that there were not many eggs left in the bowl, and I took out two more. Repeat steps 2-6.

Step 8: strike a fire, but it won't hit, or it won't hit, anyway.

Step 9: Call your mother.

Step 10: unscrew the air valve and give it a final blow.

Step 1 1: Simply treat facial burns with safflower oil.

Step 12: Drain the oil.

Step 13: Pour off safflower oil and add peanut oil again.

Step 14: When the oil heats up, I fantasize about being praised by my mother.

Step 15: put out the fire, Fan Fan, splash water, the fire is getting bigger and bigger.

Step 16: Crawl through the smoke to find the mobile phone.

Step 17: decide whether the fire alarm number is 1 10, 120 or19.

Wow, what can I do? . . . . . . . . Oh, my God, help me. . . .

Humorous jokes and romantic love stories II:

1, my son is about to get married, and my father taught him the secret. Crying is a woman's conventional weapon. Silence is a woman's chemical weapon. Suicide is a woman's nuclear weapon, this is what my son asked. What if she uses a weapon? Father answered happily. In my experience of more than 20 years, it is only a nuclear threat.

A man said to his girlfriend, I want to break up. I feel bored and have no feelings. Girlfriend said: Hundreds of millions of people in China have long lost their feelings for the national football team. Why didn't the national football team dissolve? 1300 million people's troubles failed to dissolve 1 1 people's team. Now you are bored by yourself, just like dissolving our team?

3. A leftover woman asked her boudoir secret: Tell me, why can't I always get the favor of men?

The boudoir said: You should learn to praise men instead of always condescending. ?

Leftover women are very thoughtful. When she took a taxi home, she thought she might as well try it and said to the plain-looking male driver. Driver, you are so handsome! ? The driver stopped the car, turned around and said, Miss, have you forgotten your money?

4. male:? Dear, if I take a good look at your face, I will buy you a pair of mink gloves; If you let me hold your hand, I will buy you a silver fox skin scarf; If I kiss you, I will definitely buy you an otter skin shawl; Well, if I have to

Woman:? That's enough, you want to heat me to death! ?

At the end of the year, the husband's private money saved for one year was discovered by his wife. The wife got angry and punched her husband's golden glasses.

Burying his face, the husband said with grievance. At this age, you still use the planned economy to manage me, leaving me with no autonomy at all. ?

? I have my own fist. Now that the economy is invigorating, we must crack down on economic crimes. ?

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