Degang Guo's spoken language.

The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? Looking up, I found it was moonlight. My name is Degang Guo.

I'm glad many people came. Thank you for coming. Don't go after the party. Go and eat. Whoever goes will pay. Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise of sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money.

Ah ~ ~ You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for more than a week. ...

The traditional crosstalk left by the old man has more than 1000 segments. After years of continuous efforts by our actors, it has basically been lost. ...

The story told today is not far from now. If you have an old man at home, you can go back and ask him-Spring and Autumn Period and Warring States Period ...

Law-abiding and melancholy, strong beam and night singing, riding a mule and hurting people, honest and fair and starving. Building bridges and roads is blind, killing and setting fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said, No way!

Anyone can eat it, and everyone is like pancakes all day long. It's ok to roll steamed bread with rice. It's made of porcelain. Sometimes I come backstage, slip two Jin of cakes and get ready to drink. ...

A tooth is still stuffed-eat lotus root!

There are four plates on the table. Open the first one. Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

I want steak, not beef. I love onions. Put more onions!

I am a rich man. Today, backstage, I drove here and they all came on foot. The old gentlemen in Tianjin began to leave on Tuesday. But my car has had some problems recently, and the speed is a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was dirty. I won't know until I check. I dropped my pedal. ...

Listening to cross talk more shows that you are patriotic. There is a child near our home who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic ... Anyway, it's no problem to sit with the G8 and swear! Tell him you listen to cross talk. "Don't go! I don't understand! " ..... regardless of the law, I would have killed him! Can't understand foreign language crosstalk ...

People's singers don't have to make you happy when they come on stage. Your happiness means that he sang wrong! Somebody else's big shot came on stage, ah ~ ~ ~, sang for a while, finished singing, pedaled out of the background and went home ... We crosstalk performers couldn't do it, and two living people stood here-talked for more than 20 minutes, and no one was happy! Why did you come down with a straight face?

We fell in love with cross talk on TV. Why? Say it! The director arranged applause. Once on stage, today, wow ~ ~, we, wow ~ ~, for everyone, wow ~ ~, say a picture, wow ~ ~, sound, wow ~ ~, wow ~ ~, (Cheerful: a word and a drum! ) "bad", wow ~ ~, clap if it is not good! ?

Tongxian county is an inalienable part of our territory.

Six grenades are one yuan. I'll throw you one hundred yuan first.

"Your name is Yu Yu" "Yu Qian!" Oh, yes! Sorry, I don't watch "The Rule of Law". "

Corporal James, American five-star general.

Nothing can stop his door, nothing can stop his lock, only the bank security lock. He can find a celery and poke it open.

President Bush has a secretary named Wang Fugui.

Scientists know martial arts, and hooligans can't stop them.

You haven't met my wife, beautiful! Tall, with a big face and heavy eyebrows. She has no beard. She should have a beard like Zhang Fei.

Take out a golden pen, dazzling, cold and frightening.

This plane is also diesel.

"Excuse me, uncle, how can I get to America?"

"Ask the village chief!"

"He doesn't know the way. From a botanical point of view, he doesn't know the way."

The white one in the White House-freshly brushed pulp. There are twenty people standing in front of the White House, men and women, and all the bags are ready-reporter! I have to be careful what I say. I don't want to be caught by them and embarrass China people. Next, the gang came over: "Master, would you like a plate?" "sell!" What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

There is a rockery in the White House with a banner below it: Everyone is responsible for family planning.

I will chop you to death with ginger rice!

Following the teacher's instruction, every time I hear your righteous words, my heart swells, hoping to find an evil force to die with him.

Your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

One day, the master went down the mountain to dance. Accidentally met the daughter of his young confidante. From the moment I met her, the master knew that his Jianghu career was over. Destined to leave these days when white clothes come and go like snow, the old man resolutely put on a wig and went to secularization at the age of 80.

The house where we live is full of holes. When it rains, it will kill us. It's raining outside, and it's raining outside. Sometimes it rains too hard, so the whole family takes shelter in the street ...

You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you will live to death.

"Just say Mr. Xing's father, Mr. Wang ..." "Stop it, Mr. Xing!" "What? What's his surname? "

"surnamed xing!" "Your name is xing, he also surnamed xing. How did you get together? " "What is this!" "What a coincidence!"

Now is the long-awaited advertising time.

Don't you want to drink good tea? Our shoe store specializes in Yunguicha. ...

There is a cross talk of 140 people in the Spring Festival Evening. ...

Ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school, he was named the most familiar face in the whole school. The new teacher came and asked me for inside information. ...

It was very cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the belt buckle down and put it in my pocket.

There is a lovely puppy named Tibetan mastiff. ...

If nothing else, cross talk is educational. Why? Acrobatics, fifteen people riding a bicycle, you violate the traffic rules, you know!

If you don't tell the teacher with a moon cake in your hand, you don't respect the teacher. I used to have to kill my head!

Open it, it's all money! Treasure, the smallest diamond is only half a catty. ...

"Buy a bottle of mineral water and have a drink-fake!" "How fake? It is mixed with water! "

I also bought a good car-Alto! Fifty carriages are strung together with iron wire and drive like a train.

The young man looks like an actor with his face covered. ...

Do you want to listen, do you want to listen or do you want to listen? I will never insist!

Thank God for the pot.

This brain is as big as a pine nut. When you open your skull, you can cook it in a bowl.

The love between Simon and Jinlian is sincere.

If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

Help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't create difficulties.

The girl looked back and combed her four hairs.

His sword is cold, his knife is cold, his heart is cold, his blood is cold ... this grandson is frozen!

Interpol appeared on the scene. There was a body, torn to pieces. The captain said, "Qian Er, what do you think?" "It must be suicide!

The sage taught us not to touch the master's dry food.

I also want to buy a plasma TV. Please ask a friend to leave me one. The size of a wall! Big TV, Motorola brand! ... no one is watching, and the TV is ringing: the TV you are watching is out of service!

Beijing Evening News 8 1, watching the news, the Gang of Four was smashed.

I am a second-hand scientist!

"The first part is' the wind blows the waves on the water', and what is the second part?" "You are so stubborn, you can't make a copy and post it over there."

Pingju actors should be younger ... the old lady looks like Altman after painting makeup. ......

When President Bush saw me, he said, "What happened to the mud? What happened to the mud? You son of a bitch ... ""Why does Bush smell like that? " "He hired a Henan tutor and thought he was learning Mandarin. "

Four pounds of perfume smells like stealing sheep dung.

Go your own way and say who you want.

Catch a toad and squeeze out melatonin.

"I just smoke a little more frequently. Later, I watched a health program on TV, saying that smoking is harmful to health and easy to die suddenly. Scared me. A grind one's teeth and stamp one's feet, from then on ... ""Quit smoking? " "Don't watch this program."

I am a scientist. I work in China Academy of Sciences. I hold my scientific instrument in China Academy of Sciences all day. What floor are you on? Fifth floor. Going up and down is very tired, very tired. ...

Go to IOC President Sachima.

Did you bring a knife? I will stab you to death!

Son: "Dad! I'm hungry! " Dad: "Hungry again. Didn't you eat it last year? "

Until I was seventy-five, I met a laid-off worker from Hong Kong and they got married. ...

It is good to listen to cross talk and promote truth, goodness and beauty-Huoxiang Zhengqi.

As soon as the door opened, a golden light shot out of it. Mr. Zhang from is wearing a suit made of gold and silver, a silver shirt and a diamond-encrusted tie. From top to bottom, the leather shoes on his feet are human skin! Two hands are full of rings, seven catties more than one, alas, these twelve big rings-two hands and six fingers. ...

..... Home is a quilt, as big as a mask. Hold the baby's navel, hold it, baby, stop it. What about mother-in-law and wife? Oh, is this a death wish? Lie down, I'll go out and get you a quilt ... I brought two baskets of soil, poured it on my body, and rounded it with a shovel. Be careful when you turn over, don't freeze …

... oh, those two women have solved it. Who will bury me? What should I do? I found a pillow myself and used bricks as pillows together. There was a broken water tank at the door, so I pulled it over and covered it with a quilt. ...

Let's get up and tie the thief with a rope. "Come on, kid, admit the punishment." "Tell me, how do you say that beating people is guilty and how do you say that you are punished?" "Acknowledgment, Acknowledgment will stew you." "Huh? Then stew me. " Oh! He grinned at me! "You think I dare not stew you? If there was a pot at home, I would have stewed you ... "

It is true that there are only turtles in the world, also called turtles.

I rushed into the public toilet and said to the mirror, "Degang Guo, you will succeed. I wish you happiness. " When I went out, I saw a man coming out from the opposite side.

Really, a "crosstalk star" said, "We would rather have an imperfect new one than a perfect old one". This is ignorance. Ignorant and fearless. From the end of courtship to more than one hundred years now, so many old gentlemen have extracted the skills that can form burdens and jokes in China language and put them here. No matter what jokes you tell, you can find them. You use this method. You use this method. Ready-made ones don't have to be put aside. Do you have the wisdom of so many old-timers who have worked alone for more than a hundred years? You don't have that great ability. For example, a chef can cook and you can invent new dishes, but at least you should know what a fried spoon is and what a leaky spoon is. You take a sputum bucket to stir-fry and call it innovation, so who the fuck dares to eat it! ? ! ? ……

I like reading. I read Jin Ping Mei when I was young, and I want to be a scientist when I grow up.

Who stopped me? I am a grandson!

Mr. Zhang is in Zhang Wenshun, and he has been in poor health recently-SARS, AIDS, cancer ... Anyway, this is just a small disaster. ...

Open your mouth, thanks to two ears, otherwise you can hit the back of your head.

Little girl, give me a smile. If you don't laugh, I'll give you a smile.

You know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat it after eating four, so I said:

I really can't eat. I have to eat when I get home later.

There is also a sign here in heaven: no stalls around 400 meters in heaven!

God sat there smoking.

God said, we must treat it well. It is easy for crosstalk performers to go to heaven these years.

In "Jin Ping Mei", when the Tang Priest learned the scriptures, ...

Degang Guo's Quotations: Go your own way and say what you want to say. ……

Degang Guo's Quotations: Give a catty of watermelon and weigh it on time.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Scientists know martial arts, but immortals can't stop it.

Degang Guo's Quotations: People who don't know him have never eaten pork.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I haven't eaten for days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Listen to cross talk for twenty, and make a noise for sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money. ……

Degang Guo's Quotations: Just then, Bush's BP machine rang, which was obviously English.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Do they have a family style? If you don't pick things up in the aisle, you'll lose them. ……

Quotations from Degang Guo: Your shameless appearance bears the charm of my youth.

Degang Guo's Quotations: You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you must live to death.

Quotations from Degang Guo: This young man looks like an actor. ...

Degang Guo's Quotations: The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear inside.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Last time I drank too much, I used chopsticks as chicken feet and ate them for one and a half hours.

Degang Guo's quotation: "Dad, I'm hungry!" "Hungry again, didn't you eat last year?"

Degang Guo's Quotations: You poke a noodle into the lock, it will open, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I can throw the ball very far. People who are told by the coach don't count!

Degang Guo's Quotations: Don't leave after the party. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay.

Degang Guo's Quotations: (Isn't that a blonde? ) nonsense, it's blonde, with your eyes closed.

Degang Guo's Quotations: This brain is as big as a pine nut. When you open the skull, you can cook it in a bowl.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen? I will never insist.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Oh! He grinned at me! You think I dare not stew you. If we had a pot at home, I would stew you.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Come to heaven, the buildings here are beautiful, and there are signs on both sides: No stalls around heaven 100 meters!

Quotations from Degang Guo: If you want to eat a hamburger, wrap it in a piece of paper and open it; Want to eat crabs, uncover them; Want to drink milk, take the steamed bread and pull it. ...

Quotations from Degang Guo: The story told today is not far from now. If you have an old man at home, you can go back and ask, during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period. ...

Degang Guo's Quotations: I want to buy 50 good cars-Alto, Alto, Alto ...! Get up with a dart and drive like a train!

Degang Guo's Quotations: One elder was very successful and robbed 1.83 million in cash. At 5: 40 pm, when * * arrived, it was still blocked with the North Third Ring Road.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Nothing can stop his door, nothing can stop his lock, only the security lock of the bank. He can pry it open with celery.

Degang Guo's Quotations: We got lost on the way. He took out a bunch of instruments and pointed to the needles in the southeast, northwest and northwest ... I said you were all behind, so we had to adopt advanced methods and throw shoes.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I spent ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school. I was named the most familiar face in the school. When the new teacher came, he asked me the inside story of the school. ...

Degang Guo's Quotations: I ordered shark's fin fried rice, but I couldn't find shark's fin with three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Give forty steamed buns, eighty catties of pancakes and fry two copies of this recipe-there are many ways to commit suicide, which is too bad for food.

Degang Guo's Quotations: The old man is in good health, but his mouth is full of teeth, only one tooth is left. When he eats, his teeth are blocked ... He eats lotus roots.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Tian Er flew up, ran down the road with his head down and left. He picked up his head and had a little contest with this stone ... Tian Er lost.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Jumping off a building is too coke. I studied it. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. The second floor is bang, ah! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang! high-tech

Degang Guo's Quotations: Don't hit him or scold him. You just want money, so we can discuss it. But to put it bluntly, more than 100 yuan can kill the ticket.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Be quiet, be disconsolate, and sing at night. Riding a mule harms others, is honest and fair, and is hungry. Building bridges and roads is blind, and there are many people who kill and set fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said-no way.

Degang Guo's Quotations: You know my appetite, especially I don't like roast duck. After four, I can't eat any more. I can't eat cake after cake ... I really can't eat it. I have to eat when I get home later.

Degang Guo's Quotations: There are four dishes on the table. Open the first one, ha! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

Degang Guo's Quotations: A job can earn 300,000 yuan ... If you look at the drawings, a 40-meter chimney will be built. When people came to see it, they beat me up, but the drawings were turned upside down and I was asked to dig wells.

Degang Guo's Quotations: There is a frying pan under the Cao Yin Hall, and the kids take it from the dead with steel forks. One person goes down, two people go down and fry together, and some fry into squares ... (oil cake fritters? )

Degang Guo's Quotations: People have plasma TVs, so I bought one, and I found a friend to keep it. As big as a wall, Motorola brand … looks empty, and the TV rings: the TV you are watching is not in the service area … what's the point? This 300 yuan is not wasted.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I was introduced to a girlfriend. It's beautiful. Her face looks like a car accident scene.

Degang Guo's Quotations: He is very rich and drives a 13 Cadillac. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", (triple jump? There is only one driver in the front row, and the steering wheel is different from others. It is usually round. He is made of pure silver, long and bent at both ends. Oh, three jumps. At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take away the divine power."

Degang Guo's Quotations: Do you have a two-foot lobster? Sorry, there is nothing two feet long, only two feet two. What stupid restaurant doesn't even have a two-foot lobster? Eat a plate of shredded potatoes.

Degang Guo's Quotations: He scolds me, I take a step back, he scolds me again, I take a step back, there is a wall behind me, he still scolds me, fight! ! ~~

Quotations from Degang Guo: Which school did you graduate from? I'm from Tsinghua! Tsinghua pool? Well, tsinghua pool takes a bath! You said it belonged to Hufang Bridge!

Degang Guo famously said, "There is good news and bad news. Which one do you listen to? " "What's the bad news?" "We are lost. I don't know this place. It is estimated that we can only live by cow dung in the future. " "What's the good news?" "Cow dung have a plenty of! ! "

Degang Guo: I'm going to eat in a restaurant. Do you have any chicken? Attendant: Shh! I am!

Degang Guo's Quotations: Take a taxi ... We don't take a dollar and six, we take a dollar and two! I don't sit in the front. I have to pay for sitting in the front! !

Degang Guo's Quotations: Today is a good day, beginning of autumn is here, and it is the day to put on autumn fat. I ate four or two vegetarian fried cakes at noon today. I believe everyone posted autumn fat.

Quotations from Degang Guo: How dare you join the Beggars' Sect! Dressed up very well!

Degang Guo's Quotations: The house we live in is riddled with holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains so hard that the whole family goes out to take shelter from the rain.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you one hundred dollars first!

Degang Guo's Quotations: Even Zhajiang Noodles doesn't like to eat? You forgot your roots! ! !

Degang Guo's Quotations: I have been an artist for more than a week.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Spend 200 yuan to buy a pig, squeak to drink water, eat beans, throw over the wall, squeak, and guess what ~ ~ ~ dead!

Degang Guo's Quotations: Many cross talks are made up. This is true.